“Thank you for saying that, but it was the only way I could live with the guilt. I could help her and the kids get out and make sure they were on a better path.” She let out a sigh. “If anything good came out of this, I made a new friend. And I learned.”
“We all learn,” he said. “I’d like to learn some more about you.”
He rolled atop her again. His fingertips brushed the ticklish skin under her arm, and she let out a laugh as she reached up to kiss him.
One night was not going to be enough. She was crazy to think it ever would be.
Chapter Eight
* * *
DREW AWOKE IN Kendall’s bed at the soft light of dawn. He glanced over at the clock on her bedside table. Five AM. He’d have to be at the airport in the next hour or so to have any chance at all of being on the eight-thirty flight to Seattle. He didn’t want to go.
Kendall was lying on her side, the sheet wrapped around her hips, breathing deeply. She’d tucked one hand beneath her pillow sometime during the night. She was still naked, and he was hard.
He knew continuing to see her was out of the question. She was right: Even if their relationship was consensual, it would cause more of a furor than the league’s attempts to eliminate kickoffs. She’d be the one that would suffer. The guys he spent nine months a year with would give him a ration of shit, but he cringed to think of what they’d say about her.
He knew what was waiting for her too. She’d told him that she enjoyed being the director of football operations; managing the team’s salary cap made sure she mostly stayed off the radar of men in the league who thought women had no business in a pro football team’s front office. Being an interim GM left a huge target painted on her back, especially if she decided she wanted the job for real. Even more than the job title, the proof she was intimately involved with one of the Sharks might be enough to cause the owner of the Miners to fire her on the spot, SEC investigation or not.
He shouldn’t have slept with her. She shouldn’t have slept with him. He knew seeing her again was asking for trouble and he was the worst kind of stupid. It made him a real candy ass to admit it to himself, but he was lonely. There were always women around. They weren’t the right ones, and it had nothing to do with whether or not they shared his ideas about a home and family. They weren’t what he really wanted, and the list had got shorter the longer he’d dated: smart, funny¸ thoughtful, compassionate, and beautiful. Even beautiful was negotiable; he wasn’t the guy that went for the bleached blondes with gigantic foobs, and he never had been. He’d appreciate someone with good health habits and someone who could keep up with him, but mostly, he wanted someone he could see making a home and raising a family with.
Walking into his parents’ house was still something he relished—the scent of food cooking, the hugs and sometimes, a few tears from his mom, who was always his and his siblings’ greatest cheerleader. Shaking hands with his dad and being wrapped in a huge bear hug. Since his career didn’t allow him to live in Wisconsin, he wanted those things in Seattle. It was why he didn’t bitch too much when he came home to find yet more of his teammates lounging in the family room, and why he enjoyed getting invited over to Zach’s house.
He’d been in Seattle two seasons now. The team was his family, his home away from home. They weren’t there during the wee hours of the morning, though. He needed a wife.
He watched Kendall sleep. She must have been having a great dream; he saw her smiling a little. He’d love to know what (or who) she was dreaming about. He hoped it was him. He could moon over her like a lovesick middle school student all he wanted, but she was on a different path in life.
She wasn’t going to leave the Miners. He’d retire from football in a few years, he’d find something else to do with his time, and she would still want to live in California. Did he want to as well? Would she enjoy weekend soccer games and inviting friends over for a meal, or would she be required to go to the high-profile events any franchise’s front office personnel attended? They weren’t important to him at all.
Maybe he should take it down a notch before he planned his entire future in the next ten minutes. He was interested, but he didn’t know enough about her to give her the starring role in his fantasies of domestic bliss. It would take many more dates to do so. The best course of action was to get his ass back to Seattle, stop in to see his young friend Nolan at Children’s, and figure out if they both were interested enough to pay the price for getting involved with each other. She’d said she wasn’t into one-night stands. He wasn’t into them, either, but right now, this felt a lot like one.
There was also the consideration that his actions could get her fired, which he didn’t want either.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed and surveyed her bedroom floor, which was littered with their clothing. He bent over to snag his stuff, and he heard her sleep-thickened voice.
“That’s quite a view.”
He turned toward her. “I could say the same.”
He saw the flash of her smile, and she pulled up the sheet to her neck. She blushed a little. He returned to the bed, leaned over her, and kissed her forehead. “Good morning.”
“Good morning,” she said. They stared at each other. There was so much to say, and he wasn’t sure where to start.
“It’s a little after five. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
He saw her frown for a split-second. He could see the moment she told herself to act like it wasn’t a big deal in her face too.
“Sneaking out?”
She was trying to play it cool. He took her cue. His voice was casual.
“Nope. It’s early. I wasn’t going to leave without saying goodbye.”
“I wish you didn’t have to leave at all,” she said, and she clapped one hand over her mouth. She shook her head. “Maybe we could chalk that last comment up to still being half-asleep.”
He crawled back into the bed with his phone. “Is it going to be a crisis if you get to the office at nine this morning instead of eight? Maybe we could grab a cup of coffee on the way.”
Sadness flitted over her features before she pasted on another smile. “My meetings start at eight. I can’t do it.”
“Well, then,” he said. He put his phone back on the nightstand and reached out for her. “A hug, and I’ll go get in the shower.”
He smelled her green apple scent one more time and tried to memorize what she felt like in his arms. He rested his cheek against her much softer one. She cuddled against him. He’d hold her for a few more minutes.
The silence grew. He heard the chirp of an incoming text. Judging by the time, it must be a member of his family.
“I don’t know what to say,” she said.
“I don’t, either.”
He gave her one last squeeze, crawled out of bed, and headed toward the shower.
Half an hour later, he was dressed and ready to go. His backpack was over one shoulder. He patted his front pocket; the key fob to his rental car was there along with his phone. He checked for his wallet.
“I had a great time,” he said as they walked to the front door of her house arm-in-arm.
“Me too,” she said. He saw the tell-tale glimmer of rising tears in her eyes. He opened his mouth to say something before he kissed her goodbye, and she laid her fingers over his lips. “Don’t say goodbye.”
He kissed her fingertips, and then he kissed her mouth. She wrapped her arms around his waist. They stood in silence as they both fought for something to say besides the usual clichés two people spouted when their feelings went far beyond a casual encounter. She pulled herself out of his arms and opened the front door of her house.
He squeezed her hand one last time as he walked out the door. He heard the click of the door shutting behind him seconds later. He felt it in his gut.
She was gone.
KENDALL WENT THROUGH her morning routine numbly. She dried her hair into a perfect shiny bob that framed her face, applied her makeup, dressed, and made sure she was
wearing matching shoes. Her phone was already chirping with incoming texts and e-mails. She rooted through the bag Sydney sent home with her last night; everything was still there. She hadn’t done thirty seconds of the work she was now behind on, and she wasn’t sure how she could BS her way through this morning’s meetings.
She picked up her laptop bag and glanced at her smart phone’s screen before she put it into her handbag. She had an e-mail from Drew.
Kendall, I’ll never forget last night. Since I have your cell number and home address, it’s only fair you have mine. Drew
She clicked on the attachment. A map to his house from Santa Clara, CA, opened on the phone’s screen, and a Google street view of the front of his house.
He’d issued the challenge. It was up to her to accept or decline.
DREW’S TRIP TO Seattle was mostly uneventful. He got searched at the airport for being in San Jose less than twenty-four hours and carrying nothing but a backpack. He was used to this by now. Big dudes with long hair were obviously up to no good. The flight attendant recognized him and offered him a complimentary Bloody Mary. When he politely refused, she made the rounds of the other passengers and returned to him about an hour later. She asked if he’d like something else instead.
“It’s very nice of you to ask, but no, thank you.”
“Are you sure?” she asked. Her voice dropped an octave. “I have lots more to offer.”
He gave her a nod. “Thank you, but no thank you.”
She swished away from him. He was still thinking about a certain dark-haired, gray-eyed woman who was probably well into her first meeting of the day. The flight attendant reminded him of the Paul Newman quote he’d read years before, the one in which Mr. Newman was asked how he managed to resist the women who cast themselves into his path, despite the fact he was married: “Why eat hamburger when you have steak waiting at home?”
The older guy sitting next to him waited a grand total of thirty seconds before he said, “Does that happen to you often?”
If he said “yeah,” he’d be an egotistical ass. If he said “no,” he’d be a liar. He smiled and shrugged one shoulder.
“I’d be happy to help her out,” the guy said.
Drew gave him another nod and went back to reading the book he’d stowed in his backpack before he went to Kendall’s house. He’d seen the economist who wrote it on The Daily Show. The pilot was flying over South Seattle, descending into Sea-Tac Airport. He’d be through the airport, in his car, and on his way in half an hour or less.
DREW WALKED THROUGH the front doors of Children’s Hospital with a couple of poorly-concealed Dick’s Drive-In bags an hour later. The nurses behind the desk on Nolan’s floor pretended like they couldn’t see what he was carrying.
“He’s in the room,” one of them called out. “He’s about to have a treatment.” She glanced at the bags and glanced up at him. “A few bites, okay? Don’t let him go crazy.”
“Okay.” He moved closer to the desk. “How about I bring enough for you ladies next time?”
“Sure,” she grinned. Her colleagues shook their heads, wagged fingers at him, and laughed. Even health care professionals couldn’t resist Dick’s food.
Nolan was sitting up at the rolling table in his room with an older-model computer tablet playing a game. He was so deep in concentration that he didn’t glance up when Drew walked into his room.
“Hey, buddy. How ya doing?”
Nolan’s face lit up. “Drew! You’re here!”
He put down the tablet and tried to scramble off the bed like any other ten-year-old boy, but his movements were slow. Drew knew Nolan would be feeling even worse in a couple of hours due to the chemo treatment he’d just been warned about. He crossed the room for a fist bump and wondered if he should help the kid back into his bed.
Nolan wouldn’t want Drew to treat him like he was sick.
“Of course I’m here. It’s Tuesday.” He put the Dick’s bags down on another rolling table. “Listen, dude, the nurses are onto me.”
Nolan’s brow furrowed. “Did they tell you I can’t have any of that?”
“Nawww. They told me to take it easy, though. I’ll tell you what.” He pulled the chair that sat next to the bed closer to Nolan. “You can have some, and I’ll put the rest into the mini-fridge for you later.”
“My mom can heat it up?”
“Sure.” Drew grabbed the bag with two chocolate shakes. “Let me get you set up here.” He spread a paper napkin over the rest of the rolling table, pulled one of the shakes out of the bag, and put a straw in the lid. He handed it to Nolan. He shook a few still-hot French fries out onto the napkin, unwrapped a cheeseburger with ketchup for him, and uncapped a small plastic cup of ketchup for the fries. He pulled a cheeseburger out of the bag for himself.
“Can I have more fries?”
“In a while. I have plenty, you know. And another cheeseburger, but we’ll save that one for later. What were you doing with the tablet over there?”
“My mom got me some games,” Nolan said. “I wanted the really bloody one, but she got me Fruit Ninjas and a tower game. They’re okay.”
“You can’t play Madden on a tablet, can you?”
“I don’t think so.” Nolan was stuffing French fries in his mouth. He already had ketchup on one cheek. He sat up on his knees and took another sip of chocolate shake. “Do you play Madden?”
“Sure. We play when we’re done with practice and sometimes on the weekends.”
Nolan fell silent while he chewed more of his cheeseburger. Drew polished off a cheeseburger and ate a few fries. He could hear his phone vibrating in his pocket; his teammates were most likely on their way over here for an hour or two and texting to see if he’d join them.
“So, N-man, got a question for you.”
Nolan grinned at him. For all of his protests about wanting more food, he’d taken a few bites of the burger and was having a tough time polishing off the fifteen or so fries Drew shook out of the little paper sack. He’d taken more sips of the shake. Maybe it was easier on his stomach.
“Would you like me to stay while you have your treatment? If it will help, I’ll do it. If you want to spend time alone with your mom, I understand and I won’t be mad.”
Nolan’s brows knitted together. “You can stay if you want. My mom tries to get me to sleep sometimes.”
“Does sleeping make it easier?”
“A little. Sometimes I throw up, so I have to sleep sitting up.”
“That’s not fun.”
“No.” Nolan took another pull on the straw.
“Okay, then. If you don’t mind, I’ll ask your mom.”
Nolan nibbled at his cheeseburger and played a little with the food still on the napkin. Drew took a sip of his own shake. He was musing on whether or not he wanted another cheeseburger when he heard Nolan’s voice again.
“Drew, am I going to die?”
Drew felt that like a fist to the gut. Any Shark that visited kids in the hospital braced himself for the unexpected, but he hadn’t faced this question before. He sat up in his chair and leaned forward.
There were a million things he could have told Nolan at that moment, but the truth was always best.
“I hope not, Nolan. You have great doctors and nurses who care about you, and they’re doing everything they can to help you get well.”
“My mom cries sometimes.”
“I know she does, buddy. She’s just scared.”
“Are you scared?”
He looked into Nolan’s eyes. “No. Do you know why?”
Nolan shook his head.
“You can do this. You’re brave, and you’re tough.” Drew took a deep breath. “Do you know what we do every day before we go out on the field to practice?”
“No.”
“There’s a sign over the door that leads onto the practice field. Every day, I pass that sign. It reads ‘Always Win.’ I tap it before I go outside, because I’m in. I’m on the team, and I
want my teammates to know that. I’m on your team. The other Sharks that visit here are on your team too. Your mom is on your team. So are all the doctors and nurses. We all want you to get better.”
Nolan’s eyes were huge. Drew was up off of the chair, looking for paper and markers in the small stack of items Nolan’s mom must have brought for him to do while he was in the hospital. He found a big piece of blank white paper and a black felt-tip marker, found an old magazine to blot the ink, and wrote in block letters: NOLAN WINS.
“Nolan, ring the nurse, will you?”
Nolan looked on in amazement.
“I’m going to hang this up by the door and every time someone goes in or out, you ask them if they’ll tap it. I’ll tap it. We’re your team. We want you to win. Will you do that for me, buddy?”
Nolan’s face lit up. His fist shot up in the air. “Yeah!”
The nurse arrived on the run. “Is something wrong?”
“No. Do you have a couple of pieces of tape we could use?”
She glanced at the sign. She started to shake her head, but she smiled. “I think I can find some. I’ll be right back.”
Nolan’s mom arrived twenty minutes later, and Nolan asked her to tap the new sign. She stared at Drew in amazement. Several of Drew’s teammates stopped in for a few minutes while Nolan had his treatment. They tapped the sign.
Derrick bumped fists with him and said, “You’re part of the team, Nolan. Don’t let us down.”
Nolan was a little drowsy, but managed to say, “I won’t.”
Derrick and Seth tapped the sign as they went out the door.
Nolan was falling asleep due to the medications and exhaustion. It had been a big day for him. Drew reached out to squeeze his hand.
“I’ll be back next Tuesday.”
“See you then,” Nolan said. “Tap the sign.”
“You know I will.”
Drew ran into Seth and Derrick in the hallway outside of Nolan’s room. The three men were silent until they got outside the hospital doors.
Seth turned to face them. “I need a beer.”
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