“We toured a little bit to give Carter and Banana some space before the guys flew home.” She grins and then laughs again. “Did he tell you about Whole Foods? THAT was hilarious. Carter nearly killed us with his fatherly glare.”
“Yeah, he mentioned you were asked to leave, something called Hot Lava.” This earns me a smile that lights up her face. “He seemed to really enjoy his trip.”
“Good. That was the mission, and he kept me busy.” Her voice wanes through a yawn.
“Getting tired again?” I ask and she nods, yawning yet again. “Get some sleep, I’ll go to get some work done and then head to bed.” I push up out of the recliner, and hesitate as I study her face. The thought of kissing her burns inside me, but given the complexity of the weekend, knowing we came only as friends, and I think I’ve already pressed my luck at Hannah’s ravaging her before lunch, I brush my lips across her forehead, and pull the covers up over her before turning to head upstairs.
“Thanks Chase, night.” She offers me a weak smile.
“Night Brielle,” I smile back at her.
Well, that’s a bust, a few hours staring at the same page isn’t going to get me anywhere. Every blink is a flashback to Thanksgiving before the day went to hell, her tight body pressed against mine, my hands in her hair, her nails biting into my biceps pulling me closer, trying to gain leverage. The sweet flavor of cinnamon and honey on that delectable tongue waging a war with my own, that delightful tongue that so many times traced the head of my cock and the pulsating vein when I near release. Shifting, I take matters into my own hands pulling long firm strokes as my cock stands at full attention throbbing with need, imagining that perfect little mouth taking me in completely humming when I hit the back of her throat. When I close my eyes and see those chocolate eyes, staring back at me filled with pleasure and mischief. My speed quickens, my balls tighten, and I grunt out my release spilling down onto my hand.
Between Brielle’s sullen mood masked with the fakest fucking smile I have ever seen, and Hannah wailing like a toddler – worse than Isaac after being stabbed in the arm with a needle for vaccinations – over having to leave, I’m about to lose my shit.
Women.
Saddling up to the bar next to the terminal for a quick drink, I order a round of Fireball shots for the emotional wrecks, known better as my company, and a Bud Light Draft for myself.
“So, this was an interesting holiday, huh guys?” Hannah laughs over the brim of her ice water before depositing it on the counter, her sobbing finally subsiding.
“You could say that,” Brie sighs.
“That’s one word for it,” I muttered shaking my head as we walk toward the terminal bay to board the flight.
The airtime isn’t but a few hours from Columbia to West Palm, yet for some reason I think this might be the longest flight I have ever taken. Brie’s head is pressed against the window supported by a pillow, earbuds in, and indifferent toward everything from the moment she took her seat and is now apparently asleep. I anxiously drum my fingers on the table tray.
“Chase,” Hannah scowls and covers my hand silencing the tapping. “Wanna talk about it?” she asks, removing her hand from mine.
“No…” I deadpan and sigh, “I mean, what am I missing here, Han?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean we’ve been together almost three years, granted it’s been a little off and on here lately, but she still hasn’t told me about the hospital. She’s danced around the topic every time I try to bring up. I’ve asked what’s up and where we are, in whatever it is we are doing. What gives?” Sighing, I scratch my hand over the two-day growth covering my jawline.
“Chase, I can’t tell you about the hospital, that’s all on her. I can tell you she cares for you – A LOT, but we haven’t talked much about you two lately with me being tied up at work and working on my own relationship… and I guess come to think of it, she’s been quiet since the trip when Carter and Braydon were down, but I don’t know.”
“I talked to Braydon, they aren’t together, weren’t together. I still can’t believe he didn’t let me know he was in town. I get that it’s gotta suck to have the constant reminder of Keelie when he sees us, but he needs to grow up, too.” I lift the pull down tray into the correct position and lock it into place. “Maybe once we get home, everything will settle and she will talk to me.”
“Whoa, wait, so Braydon and Keelie? Does that mean that Isaac is…?” Hannah questions her eyes wide full of confusion.
“Yep, yep, and yep,” I answer her questions and then assuming she in fact figures it out that yes, in fact, Keelie, my adopted sister, had a baby named Isaac who belongs to Braydon. Crazy right!?
December 2
Oy! Lemme tell ya… this has been one helluva week. Let’s recap, shall we?
The last few days at home, I tried to spend time with my parentals and had overly doting and anxious Chase looming over me like I was about to keel over. Then the airport… I’m not sure if I went silent to assist in my personal comfort to avoid sobbing in pain or to avoid dealing with everything running through my head. Last week I dodged anyone and everyone, mostly. Hannah tries to get me to talk, I don’t want to. The pain has increased and consistently hovers or pushes to new heights. Chase tries to come over daily and Jase has been weird-ish… see helluva week. Did I mention I’m going to the doctor today… I pray to the Lord above something can be done.
The excruciating pain from the cyst bursting in my lower left quadrant began to subside, yet my day-to-day pain seems to only increase, and I just want some relief. Thankfully, I only had to wait a week to see Dr. Bradley, although having Hannah breathing down my neck to set the appointment as soon as we landed assisted in that promptness. I swear she’s honing in on the whole caretaker role a little more than necessary, but she doesn’t. I don’t need another mother. I need answers, quiet, and someone to support me and because she is my person and gets me, she does.
Jase typically meets me at the doctor when I have to drive to Miami, but he is in some sort of business meeting with his sponsors, ergo Hannah Banana belting out the lyrics to Girl Crush as we cruise south on the turnpike. I’ve completely evaded Chase for the past week with the help of Han keeping him away at my request. I just can’t deal with the stress of his constant prying and need to be with me. Yes, I understand he’s confused and hurt that I haven’t trusted him enough to tell him what’s been going on, but let’s face it, we’ve been apart for months and that level of trust is just not there anymore. And when it was there, he made jokes with his buddy Brody while out letting loose and drinking about fucking other women. Yet, somehow, he thinks nothing’s changed.
Chase still seems to think we’re together even though we haven’t fucked since August. The week before Carter and Braydon came to visit, we decided we would take a step back from our relationship and frankly, it never really restarted. Sure, we’ve had a pseudo friend with benefits relationship, but the occasional make out session and the odd blowjob does not a couple make. I’m not sure why Chase can’t see that everything has changed for us.
“Ugh,” I sigh as the song comes to an end and my thoughts begin blaring too loud between my ears. Seriously, I wish I was a blonde and there was a jealous girl who wanted to be me. I’d let her.
“Wanna chat?” Hannah asks as she turns the stereo down.
“No, I am just overthinking and stressing out about nothing, which in turn makes it something, and that stress is causing me more pain in the long run.” I spew my explanation on a single breath.
“So you’re thinking about Chase or Jase?” her perfectly manicured brow arches as she takes the exit toward Miami Hospital, a smirk ticking up the corner of her mouth.
“You suck!” I groan. “Chase, I guess. He just wants to know what’s going on and where we are as a couple. I mean what the fuck? I thought I was the one who had the vagina!”
“Brie, Thanksgiving kind of threw him for a loop. He was thinking he was meeting you
r family and you guys were moving forward, then well… everything happened. You can’t say there wasn’t tension there. I mean for fuck’s sake, Jase took over when you cried out, knew exactly what you needed, and didn’t budge for anyone. Can’t blame the guy…”
“Really Han?” I ask while pointing to the parking lot she needs to park in, “I didn’t plan for that, and I told him before we left for the trip that the trip changed nothing, we were friends. He agreed, said he just needed a break from home.”
“And he just happened to practically hump you in the hallway while sucking your face off?” Putting the car in park, she tilts her head and smiles softly, “Brie, he still loves you.”
“Yeah well, I still love having my pussy pounded like there is no tomorrow, but we can’t all have what we want, now, can we.”
“Oh My God!” Her laughter booms through the car spilling into the parking garage as we walk toward the skywalk into my doctor’s building. “You are so ridiculous, you know that right?”
“Mhmm, I know. Now shut it,” I laugh as we approach the entryway of Dr. Bradley’s office. This may be a teaching hospital but you can tell they use their funding for more than just research. The office is painted in muted greens with cherry wood furnishings and individual plush chairs.
“Swanky,” my best friend whispers, as she gets comfortable in a chair facing the flat screen. “Oh, I love this show.”
“And I’m the one with issues? Don’t touch anything Banana, I need to check in.”
After checking in, I make my way back to Hannah. She’s completely engrossed in the HGTV remodeling program. Pulling out my cell phone, I flip the switch to silent and check the unread message from Jase.
JR – make that doc your bitch… get some answers! Talk soon Ellie
“Brielle Sava,” the nurse calls out from the door and I pocket my cell once standing.
“Han, you staying here or going back?”
“Going,” she replies instantly and falls in step with me behind the nurse.
“Here we are, now, everything below the waist off as usual. The sheet is on the exam table, and Dr. B will be in shortly.”
“Thank you,” I offer a smile and begin to strip once the door closes. Some people would be timid, but it’s just Hannah, and I have no censorship around her. Once I’m down to the buff waist down, I slide onto the exam table and cover my freezing lower half. “Fuck, it’s always so cold in here.”
“Nah, it’s just cause your cooch is being aired out.” She snorts
“My cooch doesn’t need “aired”, but it is a wee bit chilly down yonder.” I laugh as a rapid knock sounds against the door and Dr. Bradley appears.
“Good morning ladies,” she says with a smirk, noticeably overhearing our not remotely quiet conversation. “Let’s get in and out, so you can be warm again shall we?”
“Yep, do your thing,” I sigh laying back and suspending my feet into the stirrups. “The day to day pain is getting worse.” I offer, already knowing she’s about to ask, when she begins her exam.
“All right, let’s do this again, just like the last visit – on a scale of one to ten, tell me what the pain level is while I push down on your abdomen.” She begins to apply pressure to my lower right quadrant as I ramble off mid-ranking numbers but the pain scale continues to increase as she moves left.
“FUCK YOU,” I scream, my back coming up off the table and tears stream down my face. Hannah offers her hand to me as she sits beside my head in her chair next to the exam table.
“I’m sorry Brielle, I just need to do a few more,” she placates me while easing up on the pressure as I continue to murmur “ten” through broken breaths. “Well, your pain is still far greater than I’d hope after the exploratory and laser ablation you had a while back. I’m going to increase your pain medication dosage and I want you to wait here while I get Ashley to draw some blood.”
“Why are we doing another blood draw?” My voice quivers while wiping my face clear of the tears that remained from my exam.
“I want to see where your hormone levels are sitting since we started you on the new birth control. Typically, we cannot do another ablation procedure until more time has passed, so I may consider putting you into peri-menopause. I’ll send you home with some reading materials covering a gonadotropin-releasing hormone or as we refer to it GnRH.” Dr. Bradley has never been one to beat around the bush on my health and pain control directives, so I’ll be doing my homework on this new treatment plan, it seems.
“Um okay…” my words trail off and Dr. B excuses herself, prompting me to get dressed. Just as I am sitting back down on the exam table, Ashley comes strolling in with her pain-inflicting tool kit and a folder full of documents.
The trip home from Miami was informative to say the least. I demanded to drive, so Hannah opted to read through my informational packet – aloud. At first, I couldn’t think of anything except for how long this trip is going to be with her reading mundane medical mumbo jumbo to me, but it’s been enlightening. In a peculiar way, I think it brought our friendship back together where it was slowly fraying from the stress of me harboring my health issues and her trying to deal with Carter and all that came with their relationship restarting. Without communication between us, it was bound to happen.
“So, this should help relieve the pain, but the side effects suck.” Hannah summarizes the information pamphlets as we wait for our lunch.
“Han, how about I give you the skinny on how life in my body is right now, and then you can see how potentially not sucky the side-effects are?” I suggest after pulling out of Chik-Fil-A’s drive-thru and redirecting us to the last half of our drive home. “So, currently I feel like my insides are at war. Think of your worst cycle ever, now multiply it times a hundred, and drag that pain out to a few days before and a few days after.” I shrug off the look of horror on her face.
“OMG, you have to be exaggerating,” she gasps.
“Look through that packet some more, I’m sure you’ll see photos. Anyway, a monthly injection that may bring on temporary hot flashes, mood swings, headaches, and low sex drive is totes better than mini minions ripping apart my insides, dumping salt into the open wounds, and celebrating with lime juice while doing it all over again.”
“The amount of pain you are in and the situation as a whole probably shouldn’t be a feature in your comedic line-up,” she laughs. “I think I’d be a wallowing mess if that was me. I don’t get it Brie, how are you functioning right now, really? I mean, I get that you have good days because you don’t always seem like the walking dead, but how do you do it?”
“It’s not really an option not to function Banana; I’d rather smile and laugh when I can. Crying sucks, pain sucks, this whole disease fucking sucks, but there is no cure. Only temporary fixes.” I shrug, “So why not make what I can half-way bearable?”
“I guess, but… and I’m just throwing this out there, but a lowered sex drive. I wonder how low? ‘Cause for real, it’s not been two weeks and I’m craving that banana like nobody’s business,” she scoffs.
“Han, I think I’ve turned into you – pre-reuniting with Carter.” I peer across the car to find Hannah trying to determine exactly what I am trying to say, her mouth in a pout and quirked to the side causing her dimple to cave. “You know… a born-again virgin.”
“Pfffft,” she exhales. “I was so NOT.”
“HA! You were, no sex after a breakup until the reuniting hookup WITH the same man two years later, is so a born-again virgin.”
“I just didn’t feel the need to do squat thrusts in random cucumber patches that is the male population.”
“Squat… what… where? Oh my fucking word! Seriously, did you just dip into my thirteen year-old sayings or what?” I hoot.
“Thirteen year-olds do NOT say things like that!” she cackles back.
“Hmm so you think. You should hear them at the track talking about those Moto-Girls.”
“I haven’t been to one of those eve
nts in years, when’s the next one?” she inquires still laughing.
“Dunno, text Jase and ask him. It’s off-season, so unless he’s doing practice, he probably doesn’t have anything for a few more months.” I smile handing her my cell to message him.
After a few minutes of her clicking and my phone pinging shortly after a few times, she places it back on the docking station positioned on the hump of the floorboard and we continue to talk about my treatment options. Just before turning onto our exit, my cell trills, and the Bluetooth system announces ‘Chase Timmons calling’. After a quick eye roll, I hit the green phone icon and his deep voice booms through my speaker system.
“Hey Brielle.”
“Hey, what’s up?” I try to keep my voice even and light, but Hannah is already laughing.
“Not much, just thought I’d see if you had plans tonight?” he probes hopefully.
“No plans,” I say then yawn. “How are you?” I ask to divert the further inspection of ‘plans’.
“I’m good babe, I miss you. Do you want to have dinner?”
“Oh Chase, thank you but Han and I are just getting back from a long day of doctors’ appointments and traveling, so I’m fairly tired.” I yawn again as I wait for the gate to open to our secured community. “How about we talk later?”
“All right babe, get some rest and call if you need
anything Hannah can’t provide.”
“Yeah, I’ll uh… that’s not gonna happen.” I stammer as he chuckles and ends the call.
“Seriously, Banana!” I shout as she burst into laughter.
“No, Brie, he wants to give you HIS banana,” she jests.
“Ugh! You need to mention subtlety that he should start sleeping with other women,” I glare her way while waiting my turn at the three-way stop. “We haven’t fucked in MONTHS, is that not a clear enough sign? I gave him head like… a handful of times just to divert his need to play slap and tickle.” Growling, I make the last turn before pulling into the drive. My face splits into the biggest grin before I can school myself on how I should react because I can’t help but notice Jase’s truck sitting next to the garage.
Finding Brielle (a Forever & Always novel) Page 3