“Stay,” I demand taking her the shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. “You are fucking killing me, Ellie.” I stride out of the bathroom with lingering images of both naked and bubble covered Brielle.
Once I’m loufah’d, pruned up, and relaxed, I clamber out of the large sunken tub. I quickly towel off, brush my hair, and slip on the terrycloth robe hanging on the hook of the door. OMG this thing is so soft, a bit of heaven. I pull open the bathroom door and fail to mask the laughter that spills out. Laying on his back, comforter pulled down, bare chested visible under the sheet, Jase is out for the count. Walking to the other side of the king-sized bed, I climb in and under the sheet. Should I seize the moment? Just wake him up like I’ve been dying to for months, or continue on with the progression of our relationship? Settling on the latter after much internal debate, I succumb to sleep.
In a sleepy haze I begin to think my regularly fantasized dreams are becoming a little too realistic – the hot breath against my neck, a large calloused hand palming my breasts – slowly and attentively alternating from right to left and back. The bed dips just slightly, I feel him against my ass – hard, and snug against me, I rock my hips rubbing my backside against his growing erection.
“Mmm my Ellie,” Jase’s voice gruff with sleep, the throaty baritone sends chills down my spine and my skin becomes bathed in goosebumps.
“Hmmm,” I respond in a husky moan. I untie the belt to my robe, the left side falls to the bed, and the right panel casually hangs atop my skin. I subtly rock my hips again as his left arm snakes under my shoulder, both hands palming my chest before his right slides down my torso, his hand stalling just beneath my navel. “Keep going,” I plead quietly.
“You sure, I don’t want to cause you more pain.” His voice tainted with hesitation. Perhaps Jase knowing everything about my disease was a bad idea. Yes, it’s true I stopped having sex because of the pain, but it doesn’t mean I am unable. This little re-acquaintance may kill me as desire rages through me and my heart begins to race.
“No,” I breathe out, my hand caressing his arm until I interlace our fingers and I slowly advance our joined hands toward my core. My clit throbs with need, I’m wetter than I’ve been in I don’t know how long. “Ahhh,” I inhale to his touch of small circles and light pressure fuels my need. Unlacing my fingers from his, I grasp and run my hand over his engorged cock.
“Uh uh,” he tsks me, pulling me closer to him and effectively stopping my efforts of freeing the beast. “Relax Ellie, just feel.” Jase whispers into my ear. Within moments, his touch has me unraveling. I sink onto to my back, my robe completely open exposing all of myself to him. Between the open mouth kisses, nips, suction, I am spiraling out of control. Drenching his still thrusting fingers with my orgasm as I fall apart around them.
“More Jase, I need more.” I’m not beneath begging when he hesitates with the condom.
“If there’s pain or anything feels off, you tell me,” he growls into my neck and makes a path to my earlobe nipping roughly as he settles between my thighs. “Fuck you are so wet,” he murmurs against my mouth biting and tugging my lower lip as he runs his tip along my seam. Pressing into me slowly, he allows time for my body to adjust to his size. I buck my hips for more. “Greedy,” he laughs.
“Yes, stop being a pussy and fucking fuck me.” I moan in frustration just before he thrusts completely into me. “Fucking shit,” I cry out and he stalls. I swear to the lord above I will rip his balls off if he thinks this is all I’m getting.
“Good,” he asks once he begins slowly rocking in and out of me. “Fuck you feel so… tight, perfect baby.”
“Jase,” I whisper and his bright hazel eyes look into mine, a sly grin tugging at the corner of mouth. “If you can’t figure out how to work the massive cock, the one you are so slowly doodle bopping into me, I can teach you.”
We become nothing but hands and mouths exploring each other as he plunges deep and hard into me over and over until we are crying out and sated.
March 4
Why… why did we wait so long to do the horizontal polka. Holy Shit – I forgot how amazing it was, he was, he is. I’ll never be the same. I think I’m falling in love with him all over again. I’m scared, but damn if the sex is any premonition to how our life could be – FANFUCKINGTASTIC! My pain is still minimized, of course it’s there still, bursts of pain ripping through me when I’m least prepared. I’ve managed to fall apart without falling to my knees though… I look like I’ve pulled a muscle when I move, opposed to crying in vain. I know he sees my pain, I can see it in his eyes; not pity but compassion. He’d do anything to take it all away.
The week has breezed by and my checklist is dwindling down. Seating chart – check, dinner menu and cake decisions finalized – check, Skyped with Hannah and told her about all the mind blowing sex I’ve had since Tuesday afternoon – mother effin’ check. I have a little under an hour to finish getting ready to head over to the stadium, Jase has been practicing for a few hours already, but we have plans to visit the pubs and grills around the venue with Lucas, Gary, and Shann.
Pulling the large barrel brush through my locks one last time with the heat of the hair dryer to finish off my signature style, I switch gears and don my slim fit dark jeans and black boat neck long sleeve sweater. I pull on the matching slouch boots I picked up in Atlanta two weeks ago, foregoing my go to black pumps in the slight chance I drink tonight, they make the perfect pairing. After I transfer the contents of my brown purse into my black plaid tote, I shoulder it then snatch up my grey knit scarf and head out.
Thirty minutes later, Jase, Lucas, and I head out to Champions Bar and Grill to grab a bite to eat before making our rounds. With Jase’s fingers threaded between mine, he raises my hand to his lips, dropping the smallest kiss before letting me go to enter. It’s just early enough not to be too crowded with patrons. Taking our seats in the corner section of tables clustered together, shortly after the waitress brings our waters; Gary, Shann, Katie, and Kelly stroll in.
What the fuck is PFW doing here, if she ruins my night out, I’ll flip my shit. Jase’s hand rests on the thigh of my now bouncing leg, “Relax Ellie, its fine. She’s with Shann.”
“I don’t care if she is with the rest of the elite pro team, excluding you of course, I can’t stand her.” I mumble in his direction just as she sits right fucking in front of me. “Hi Kelly,” I say with the best version of a smile I can muster before greeting everyone else as they sit. Lucas takes the seat to my left and nudges my shoulder.
“She’s harmless,” he whispers before sharing the most grotesque description of the ass crack patron at the bar to the entire table.
“Big Daddy,” Kelly purrs to Jase, “you looked great out there today.”
“Thanks Kel,” he responds without taking his eyes off me to look at her, then continues on with our conversation of next week’s plans before the waitress comes back for our order. I catch her eye roll just before she snuggles into Shann. What does that gorgeous piece of man meat see in her… never mind I can only imagine. I just hope he got tested before and regularly throughout this relationship of theirs. It’d be a shame to lose a pecker over that.
The conversation turns to a recap of the season so far this year, including the hoots and accolades directed at Jase, the points leader. Gary and Katie discuss what they are going to do over the one-week break, while Lucas begs for an extra seat at the wedding, so he doesn’t have to deal with his bullshit life at home or in a hotel. Kelly and Shann have officially disregarded the group as they huddle in the corner near the gambling machines, sucking face and groping one another.
“Lucas, you really are in touch with your feminine side,” I laugh loudly to his insistent pleading and various suggestions on how he will assist in the last minute details. I mean really, he is easily six feet, lean and cut, chiseled jawline with a dusting of stubble – not a delicate seeming man. “If Jase says you can come, you must stay out of my hair.”
“Baby, Baby, Baby,�
� he chuckles, “I’d never chance my life or balls pissing you off. We got a deal.”
“Who the fuck said I agreed,” Jase retorts finishing off his lager.
“Dude, come on… it will be fucking sweet.” Lucas counters before throwing fifty dollars on the table to cover part of the bill, followed by Gary and Jase. “Shann, pay your fucking bill, you douche.” He yells across the booming bar.
“Classy,” I laugh as we pass them exiting Champions onto our next destination, The Smoking Moose, for drinks.
We’ve been to Champions, The Smoking Moose, The Local, and now I sit perched on a barstool, Brie in my lap, as she sips a Belvedere Redberry Mule. It’s fucking nasty too, Belvedere Red Vodka, raspberries, and lime juice or some concoction like that. Every few sips, she thrusts it in my directions asking if I ‘wanna dink’. I’d say her limit is met; she is going to feel like ass tomorrow. I laugh and close out our tab. Most of the guys have already cut out for the night, we race tomorrow and to not be on your game can be detrimental, should you lose focus.
“You ready,” she asks after letting go of the loudest belch of the night.
“I’m ready, and I need to get your ass into bed.” I say nuzzling into her neck.
“Wooohooo, sexy time.” Brielle purrs. I take hold of her soft warm hands and pull them to my lips, kissing her knuckles. Wrapping my arms around her, I plant a gentle kiss on her forehead then lead us back to the hotel. The temperature has dropped significantly and she buries herself into my side. I’ve thought about these moments for months and to say I’m ecstatic is an understatement. There are still layers she is hiding under that I’ve yet to tap into, but in time we’ll get there.
Once in the hotel room, she tears out of her clothes and heads into the bathroom, releasing a sigh that I swear the room next to us can hear.
“You all right in there?” I laugh as I pick up her clothes and change into pajama bottoms.
“Oh… oh yeah,” she moans. What in the fuck is she doing in there? “I feel like I’ve held this piss in for years, ermahgerd I am still peeing!” she shouts as I walk by the open door.
“Wow,” shaking my head, I pick up my toothbrush and continue on getting ready for bed. I’ve not seen her this tanked since her high school graduation party.
The blaring alarm suffered two very rough beatings against the nightstand this morning. Finally succumbing to the buzzing, I throw the covers off and shuffle toward the bathroom. After a healthy bladder release, I begin my race day prep – shower, brush my teeth, don my sponsored casual gear and hat. It’s 10 in the morning before I am ready to walk out of the room, and Brie has yet to move. Oh well, time to be the asshole.
“Brie,” I say her name soothingly while rubbing her outer thigh. “Come on babe, wake up enough to comprehend what I’m saying.”
“Go away.” She mumbles a few more times before pulling a pillow over her head. I attempt again to wake her calmly, but when she ignores me, I have no other choice. Walking into the bathroom, I fill a glass with cold water and return to her side.
“Brielle Dawn, I need you to wake up.” After she ignores me again aside from a few grumbles, I ensure her that I really tried to wake her up and am unable to control my laughter as I pull the pillow away. “BRIELLE,” I shout and simultaneously dump the cold water onto her head.
“Mother Fucking Fuck!” she growls. “What in the actual fuck?”
“I kept trying to wake you, and I have to be over to the stadium. So now that you’re awake, could you please make sure your stuff is ready to walk out the door? Barry will pick it up and put it in the motorhome.”
“You water-boarded me for… that? You are such a dick.”
“Yeah, well, you’ll have that.” I smirk as I lean down to kiss her goodbye, but she blocks me with her hand smacking against my forehead. “Suit yourself, I gotta go to work. See you soon?”
“Mhmm,” she squints at me faux anger. “I’ll be over before meet and greet starts.” Brie leans up and puckers her lips, I bend to kiss her, and she smacks me in the forehead again causing me to laugh. Should’ve seen that one coming.
Just before I am out the door, I hesitate. Turning to look at my brown-eyed girl, the words I love you sit on the tip of my tongue. I know in a way it isn’t too soon, I’ve loved her since we were kids. But we need to take things slow; although, I know she feels it too, the way she lets me scale her walls of fear, anger, and uncertainty. “See you in a bit, Ellie.”
The meet and greet flew by and before I knew it, it was time for the opening ceremonies. I’m toward the end of the line-up tonight and my plan is to divest the signed jersey I am wearing and give it to someone in the nearest section. Brie hands me my Fox Racing hat, I flip it backward, kiss her cheek, and creep toward the track entry. It’s a pyrotechnics dream in here – flames shoot out from multiple level orifices, fireworks light up the stadium and audio booms through the stands. I take the course backward, stopping on a bridge, kickstand down and head to the crowd. Assessing the ladder put in place to assist – which I am supposed to use, but instead I jump to the ledge and pull myself up. Cameras flashing from every direction, the screams grow louder; I high five a little tyke wearing a replica jersey of the one I have on.
Peeling it off, I bend down and ask who his favorite racer is. He stares at me shell-shocked, just pointing at me. I quickly sign it and hand it to him after telling him, and presumably his parents, to enjoy the race, I head back to the wall to finish my round. I make it to the final corner and toss my hat into the crowd before doing a front tire wheelie as I slow to idle amongst my friends and competitors – center stage. This is why I do what I do, it makes people happy, ecstatic, and I love my job – it’s an adrenaline rush.
March 7
Hell, I drank a lot, but surprisingly my body doesn’t hate me too badly. I still can’t believe that fucker dumped ice-cold water on my head this morning. All I gotta say is payback is hell. I’m excited for tonight’s race… I’m also excited for it to be over, so we can enjoy a full week off – aside from regular workouts, we get a break – he gets a break. He’s gotta be exhausted, thank goodness we got back soon enough for him to get his required amount of sleep, yes he has a regime and we ALWAYS follow it unless it’s not an option. I need him to be in his best form always, if not – he could be gone in the blink of an eye.
I don’t know that this high will ever get old. It sure didn’t back in the day, and now that I’m standing here amid all the other riders’ families, crew, and friends I feel at home. Well almost. If Kelly would get over the fact that she isn’t in Jase’s bed, it would be fanfuckingtastic. I know she only wants a rise out of me, and she sure as fuck makes that happen – regularly. Just as she passes through my mind, she breezes past, all the moto-girls do – bouncing, skipping, and clapping their hands above their heads. The crowd loves the moto-girls, well at least all the fans with penises. The shrill squeals from the diehards could blow your eardrums, but I soak up the moment.
Half way into the Lite’s qualifying, a burst of pain rips through my lower abdomen, all but taking me down at the knees. I really hoped that the injections would prevent all occurrences of my endometriosis pain, but they don’t. Jase is at my side in an instant, ushering me to the chair he was sitting in next to the makeshift garage.
“I’m fine,” my words rushed and laced with pain. The pain is like the other times – a jolt followed by intensive cramping, the urge to empty the contents of my stomach loom.
“Breathe,” Jase says soothingly. “I’ll be right back, okay?” I nod, and he disappears from my line of sight as another eruption of pain shoots through my belly. I bite my tongue to avoid screaming out. Thankfully, it’s only Barry and Bryan standing here, seemingly blocking off my zoo exhibit self. Queue woman randomly crying in pain. What a fucking sight. Deciding it would be best for me to lay down; I attempt to stand only to fall back with a whimper. “I said I’d be right back.” He adds when he returns to my side.
“I want to l
ay down with the heating pad.” I whisper.
“Let me walk you to the motorhome. We will leave right after the race.”
“I can get there; you need to get ready for your heat.” I say as I pull back.
“Fuck the qualifier. Will you not learn, you, YOU take priority?” His eyes darken, worry surrounding them.
“You are not throwing this race away because I’m in pain, I‘ll be fine. This is normal; hell, this is better than normal. I’ll take my pain medication, grab the heating pad, and watch you on the monitor. You just bring home the win.” I sternly state looking up into his eyes which slowly lighten and the worry begins to dissipate.
“You are incorrigible.”
I lean into him, elevated on my tiptoes and kiss him softly, increasing the passion until I feel him relax against me. I pull away and smile. “Be safe, I’ll see you in the trailer.”
“Mhmm, as soon as I win we are off to see Banana and C.” Jase smiles staring into my eyes looking for me to say what I am certain is showing through.
I blink awake, my eyes flash to the monitor when I don’t hear the race going. My breath catches as I try to calculate what’s happening. Jase’s bike is on its side against the foam barriers, the front wheel shaft is bent. I don’t see him until the medic moves, my heart thuds as I wait, staring at the screen. I’d changed into my yoga pants and one of Jase’s practice jerseys when I laid down, sure that I wouldn’t be moving from the sofa until I went to bed. Popping up off the sofa, I quickly slide my feet into my sneakers and run toward the track, dismissing the excruciating pain ricocheting through me.
Bryan stops me at the corner of the track, I stand staring as does most of the stadium. It’s quiet with hushed whispering bounding off the walls. To my left are Katie and Kelly, quietly waiting and looking on. Kelly squeezes my fisted hand and offers a tight smile. I nod but quickly return my attention back to the track and Bryan.
Finding Brielle (a Forever & Always novel) Page 8