Symphony in Blue

by M. J. Duncan

  “Thank you,” Gwen murmured. “So…do you want to go out for lunch, or just go back to my house and order something in?”

  “We can order in. That sounds good. Oh.” He shot her a questioning look as he pushed the button for the musician’s elevator to the parking garage. “Jay wanted me to check with you about that kitten again. I guess they’re old enough to be adopted out, and…”

  “You’re hoping to keep from having another mouth to feed,” Gwen guessed with a laugh.

  “Well, I mean, can you really blame me for it?” Luke sassed as they stepped into the elevator. “We’ve already got four, for fuck’s sake.”

  Gwen laughed harder and nodded as she pushed the button for the appropriate floor. “You know, I actually think I would like to take her. It was a little lonely at the house this weekend, and it’d be nice to have somebody to talk to who might give me some kind of a response.”

  “Wait.” Luke looked at her incredulously. “It wasn’t just today? Mallory ignored you all weekend, too?”

  Gwen shrugged. “I tried calling her Saturday afternoon before I talked to you, and I sent a text or two, but she never replied. It’s not a big deal,” she added, shaking her head at the incredulous look on his face. “Really. I was just trying to check in and see how she was doing. It’s all more than a little weird, honestly, because I know that in a month or so all this will be over, but I do still care about her and, well, you know how focused she gets sometimes—I just wanted to make sure that she was remembering to take time to eat something.”

  Luke sucked in a deep breath and nodded. Mallory’s focus was legendary within LA Phil. She had once sliced her finger open playing the concluding Chaconne from the Partita no. 2 in d minor so badly that blood was literally dripping onto the floor from her fingerboard and she didn’t even notice until the final note faded into silence. “Yeah. She can get pretty intense, sometimes.”

  “But, I mean, if it makes you feel better,” Gwen said as the elevator stopped and they made their way into the cavernous parking garage, “I wasn’t talking to the walls all weekend. Besides texting with Dana a bit, I also spent most of yesterday with Blue.”

  “Ah…well, that does make me feel better. So how’s the next great American symphony coming?”

  Gwen shrugged. “It’s coming along, I guess.”

  “Am I ever going to get to see or hear any of it?”

  “Probably not,” Gwen admitted with a small laugh. “It’s nothing special,” she added when he responded with a small pout. “I just like the exercise the process demands. It's like a puzzle, trying to find the right combination of notes in the right tempo to convey what I want and, I dunno, I just find it really relaxing.”

  “Weirdo,” Luke muttered with playful grin. “But, fine. Keep your probably super-awesome composition to yourself, see if I care…”

  “I will, thanks.” Gwen smirked as she reached into her purse for her keys, unlocked her car, and then opened the rear driver’s side door. “So, meet you at my place?”

  “Of course. I’ll follow you. We can order some Chinese food or something and then just veg. Maybe watch some more Supergirl or something?”

  “Gee, I dunno. I mean, watching Calista Flockhart and Chyler Leigh strut around on my TV is just such a pain…” Gwen chuckled as she lifted her cello case into the backseat and belted it in. “I think that sounds great, honestly. And I’ll need you to make me a shopping list of things to get for the kitten, too.”

  Luke snapped off a smart salute. “Will-do, boss-lady.” He pulled his keys from his pocket and unlocked his car, the taillights flashing in the next spot. “See you in a few.”

  EIGHTEEN

  “You should probably check on her,” Luke greeted Gwen when she stepped onto the stage at the Hollywood Bowl the next morning. He tipped his head toward the front of the stage, where Mallory was sitting with her legs dangling over the edge. “I got here fifteen minutes ago, and she hasn’t moved an inch the entire time.”

  Gwen looked at Mallory and sighed as her heart clenched painfully at what she saw. Normally so indefatigably confident, even to the point of annoyance most days, Mallory looked smaller than Gwen could remember ever seeing her, sitting there at the edge of the stage with her shoulders hunched in on herself and her back curved in what seemed like defeat, and were it not for the flutter of her hair in the breeze running through the canyon, she could have been cast out of stone. Clara Nguyen, one of Mallory’s first violinists, was crouched at her side and seemed to be trying to talk to her, but after a minute or so of getting no response, she shook her head and walked back to her section where everybody was watching Mallory with wary expressions.

  “Yeah, okay.” Gwen nodded as she handed him her cello and bow. “Hold these for me.” She ran a hand through her hair as she crossed to where Mallory was sitting, and sighed as she lowered herself to the stage beside her. She stared out over the small clusters of people in the stands, idly noting that there seemed to be several camps and school groups in attendance that morning, with each group wearing different-colored shirts to make it easier for the grown-ups to keep track of them all. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, Mallory sighed and leaned into her so that their shoulders were touching.

  “Good morning,” Mallory murmured.

  “What’s going on?” Gwen asked softly, mindful to keep her voice low because of the bandstand’s acoustics. The front rows of the amphitheater were empty, but there were plenty of people behind them that she was sure Mallory wouldn’t want to overhear their conversation.

  “Nothing. Just tired.”

  “You’ve been practicing too much.”

  Mallory huffed a dark laugh and shook her head. “Such a thing is utterly impossible.” She sighed. “I’m having trouble with the second movement of La Mer.”

  Gwen nodded understandingly. Debussy was widely regarded as one of the most difficult composers to play, and many classically trained musicians had difficulty with the synthesthetic flow that was the defining feature of the Impressionist Era. “Which part?”

  “I honestly don’t even know anymore,” Mallory muttered. “I have the notes down, but the lack of traditional structure is just…” She blew out a loud breath and shrugged. “I just don’t feel like I have the flow of it, you know?”

  “Oh, I know. I hate Debussy,” Gwen shared wryly, trying to make her smile. When all she got in response was another exhausted sigh, she asked, “Play it for me? Lemme hear where you’re at, and maybe I can offer a suggestion or two?”

  Mallory glanced over her shoulder at the rest of their colleagues and when she looked back to Gwen, she had her lower lip caught between her teeth in an unusual show of nerves.

  It was clear that she wanted the help but not here, not now, where she might be judged or found to be anything other than exemplary, and Gwen smiled reassuringly as she nodded at the violin laying on Mallory’s lap. “Pianissimo? Very quiet. Just for me?”

  Mallory took a deep breath and blew it out slowly as she nodded. “Okay.” She licked her lips as she lifted her violin to her shoulder and closed her eyes as she set her chin in the chinrest. “Okay,” she breathed, her shoulders rolling back and her back straightening as she took one last deep breath before beginning to play.

  Watching Mallory from such an intimate distance and listening to the beauty with which she played reminded Gwen of why she had fallen for her in the first place. Gone was the playfully mocking expression that Mallory usually wore, gone was the swagger and the bravado, gone was everything but the woman and the music—and together they were truly a sight to behold. She made no effort to contain her smile when Mallory finished the piece and finally looked up at her, and the applause from the musicians behind them backed up her words before they could even leave her mouth. “That was incredible.”

  Mallory smiled and ducked her head. “Thank you. It felt better that time, to be honest.”

  “It should have felt great.” Gwen wrapped an arm around Mallory’
s shoulders and pulled her into a light hug. “You nailed it.”

  “Thank you, darling,” Mallory murmured as she slipped from Gwen’s embrace, “but it’s not quite right, still…”

  Gwen nodded and leaned back on her hands as she replayed Mallory’s performance in her mind. “You tightened up a bit at the end, like you were trying to fall into old patterns instead of riding the wave of the music. I know you aren’t the most demonstrative when you play, but it’s important to stay loose on that one, let yourself move with the music, feel it ripple and curl inside you, if that makes sense.”

  Mallory nodded. “It does. Thank you.”

  “All right, people!” Rhode called out energetically as he bounded onto the stage. “Are we ready?”

  “Not at all,” Mallory muttered under her breath.

  Gwen laughed as she climbed to her feet, and then smiled as she offered Mallory a hand up. “It’s not that bad.”

  “I’d rather be practicing,” Mallory retorted as she slipped her hand into Gwen’s.

  Gwen pulled her up to standing and shrugged. “Well, think of this as a two-hour warm up for that, then.”

  “Good point,” Mallory agreed, as they started making their way toward their seats. “Though, I wouldn’t mind getting started a little later this afternoon if you’d like to maybe go to lunch?”

  Gwen swallowed thickly and shook her head, feeling suddenly guilty for the lunch plans she had woken up looking forward to. “I’d like that, but I can’t today. I’ve already made plans to go to lunch with a friend.”

  “Ah, well, okay then,” Mallory said with a shrug and a smile. “I really should work this afternoon anyway. I have a recording session in the morning and my massage appointment in the afternoon tomorrow—are you free on Thursday? We could go somewhere right around here after we finish rehearsals and grab a quick lunch before I have to go home and start practicing again.”

  “That sounds great,” Gwen agreed softly.

  “Good.” Mallory took a deep breath and gracefully lowered herself to her chair. “I’m leaving Friday morning for Catalina—I’m hoping being so close to the ocean can help me with the Debussy piece—so I won’t be back until Monday morning.”

  “Right.” Gwen nodded, accepting the fact that, now that Mallory felt she was back on track with her audition pieces, she was no longer really needed. She felt guilty about the flash of annoyance she felt at the fact that Mallory had scheduled a weekend away without even mentioning it to her beforehand, and quickly tamped it down because none of this was about her and if Mallory needed a weekend away to focus, then she more than deserved to take it. “Sounds like a good idea.”

  “Mmm, I thought so too,” Mallory hummed.

  “Gwen, if you don’t mind,” Rhode urged gently.

  “Right, sorry.” Gwen flashed him an apologetic smile as she hustled to retrieve her cello from Luke and then hurried to take her seat. She took a slow, deep breath in through her nose as she settled herself, and by the time she had finished exhaling just as slowly, Rhode’s hands were in the air and it was time to begin.

  Because the first few pieces for these rehearsals were always the same, Gwen closed her eyes and let herself settle into the music, peace and serenity and a welcome feeling of control settling lightly in her chest as she played.

  The rehearsal flowed smoothly from one piece to the next as Rhode put them through their paces while still keeping the musical selections relevant to their audience. There were the classics, of course, fun, upbeat pieces that had the kids wiggling in their seats or outright dancing in the aisles despite the fact that they didn’t know the tune, and they ended with some Menken that coaxed more than a few voices from the audience to sing along.

  Seeing and hearing their joy made Gwen smile, and her smile only grew wider when she stood to face the audience to take her bow and she saw familiar white framed sunglasses and a beaming smile focused entirely on her. She tipped her head in a small, much more private bow in Dana’s direction, the rest of the world—sight, sound, everything—blurring into irrelevancy the longer she held her gaze.

  A light bump against her right shoulder and a muttered apology startled Gwen back to the present, and she bit her lip as she forced herself to refocus on what needed to be done, silently praying that nobody noticed how utterly entranced she had been by Dana’s attention. She closed her folder with her music carefully so as to not damage any of the pages and risk making her notes illegible, and tucked the folder under her arm as she fell into the space Luke held for her in the line of musicians waiting to exit the stage.

  His mischievous smirk told her that he had seen her reaction to Dana’s presence in the crowd, and she shook her head as she muttered, “Shut up.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Luke replied breezily.

  “If only I were that lucky,” Gwen retorted, rolling her eyes and smiling at him. Her smile faded as, once they were backstage, she watched Mallory snap her violin case shut and immediately head for the door.

  “So the happy vibes from earlier are completely gone,” Luke observed softly. “I’m sorry, Gwen.”

  “It’s fine.” Gwen sighed and carefully lowered her cello case to the ground. “We’re going to go to lunch Thursday after rehearsal,” she shared as she flipped the case open and began stowing her things.

  “And in the meantime?”

  Gwen shrugged as she secured the scroll of her cello in the case. “I’m going to lunch with Dana, and I need to get kitten supplies,” she said as she wiped down the body of her cello.

  “You have the list I sent you?” Luke asked as he began disassembling his clarinet.

  “Yeah. Are you absolutely sure that I won’t have to try and train her to use a litter box? Because I’ve never done it before, and—”

  “I’m sure,” Luke interrupted with a laugh. “According to our neighbors, all the kittens got it down perfectly already, so just get the exact box and brand of litter that I told you so that the sight and the smell is what she’s used to and it should be a total non-issue.”

  “That kind of stuff matters?”

  “To some cats, yeah.” Luke closed the lid of his clarinet case and snapped it shut. “But you’ll be fine. Have you thought of a name for her yet?”

  Gwen shook her head. “I’ve been kicking around ideas, but haven’t really decided yet. I thought it’d be best to get to know her first.”

  “That’s fair. You know if you need help coming up with something that Jay will be more than willing to offer suggestions.”

  “Oh, I had no doubts about that.” Gwen chuckled as she closed the lid of her cello case and began flipping the clasps around it shut. “What are your plans for the rest of the day?”

  Luke shrugged. “Dunno. Probably just lay out by the pool and relax. Soak up some sun before the season starts and life gets crazy again.”

  “I hear that,” Gwen murmured as she pushed herself to her feet. She grunted softly as she hefted the hard case onto her back, and then smiled at Luke as she adjusted the straps. “Right, well, I told Dana to wait for me in the amphitheater and that I’d find her there, so I should probably get a move on.”

  Luke smiled. “Tell her I say ‘hi’.”

  “I will.”

  “All right, then. Off you go,” he winked and blew her a kiss. “Go on. Chop chop.”

  Gwen laughed. “You’re crazy.”

  “And that’s just one of the reasons why you love me so damned much.”

  “Yeah.” Gwen nodded, her smile softening. “It is.”

  “Right back atcha, beautiful.” Luke tipped his head at the door. “Now git. Go have some fun. Laugh. Smile. Be happy.”

  “I’ll try my best.” Gwen tipped her head and took a step backwards toward the exit. “Talk to you later?”

  “Of course.”

  Gwen took a deep breath and blew it out in a rush, keenly aware of the energy buzzing in her veins as she anticipated seeing Dana again. They had been texting
back and forth more and more often, the formality and hesitancy of those first few exchanges eventually disappearing as they settled back into something resembling the easy banter they had shared in Maui, and she was hopeful that they could settle into that same groove when they were face-to-face without too much effort. “Okay.”

  When she exited the stage door and made her way into the seats, she wasn’t surprised to see that about half of the people who had come to watch their rehearsal were still hanging out on the tiered benches that swept up and away from the bandstand, enjoying a picnic lunch on what was turning out to be a beautiful summer day. She scanned the mostly empty seats as she started toward the section of the audience where she had seen her sitting. She smiled and waved when she spotted Dana relaxing on a bench about twenty rows up, and she had covered a little over half the distance separating them when a handful of elementary school-aged kids sprinted down the stairs and stopped in front of her, their excited voices an unintelligible crash of noise that made her smile as she held her hands up to try and calm them down.

  “I'm sorry, but you're going to have to take turns,” Gwen told them as she looked over the handful of rows that separated her from Dana and shot her an apologetic look. She was relieved when Dana laughed and waved for her to take her time, and sighed as she redirected her attention to the kids in front of her. “Did you all like the music?”

  “Yes!” the kids yelled.

  “What instrument do you play?” one of the little girls asked.

  “I play the cello.” Gwen chuckled at the looks of polite confusion that flashed across all but one of the kids’ faces. “It kind of looks like a big violin that I hold in front of me while I play,” she elaborated, holding her hands out as if she were playing an invisible cello.

  “Is it fun?” a little boy with a raging case of bedhead and an outfit he had clearly chosen for himself asked.

  Gwen nodded. “Well, I love it.”

  “How old were you when you started playing?”

  “Three.” Gwen laughed at the way all the kids looked at her in pure disbelief. “My parents are musicians as well, you see, so I started a little earlier than most kids do.”