by Joan Wolf
Leo said to both Luc and Jeanne, “You wanted to hear what Gabrielle had to say. Well, now you have heard it. Pierre and Luc, go with Henri to the hotel.” He turned to Jeanne. “As for you, I will help you clean out whatever is yours from this wagon and then I’ll drive you into Le Mans, to a different hotel from the one we are staying in. After that, you’re on your own.”
“Fine!” she said defiantly. “I don’t need your stupid circus, and I certainly don’t need a husband who can’t be a man to me.”
“A real man wouldn’t want to have anything to do with you,” Gabrielle shot back, trying to defend Pierre. “It will be a much more pleasant place around here with you gone.” She gestured to Luc and Pierre. “Come with me. It’s dinnertime and everyone is hungry.”
Without a single look at Jeanne, the two men moved off with Gabrielle.
“Now,” said Leo, “if you will show me what is yours, I’ll help you move it.”
Jeanne looked at Leo out of her long, slanting eyes. “Leo,” she pleaded, “can’t you help me?”
“I have just said I would help you,” Leo said.
“I don’t mean by moving my things!”
“That is the only help you are going to get from me,” Leo said calmly. “Don’t think to try your tricks on me, Jeanne. I am the one who told Gabrielle she had to get rid of you.”
Jeanne bent down, picked up a stone and threw it at Leo. He ducked, eluding it easily. “Let’s get started, Jeanne,” he said. “Your time with this circus is over.”
The circus members all ate in the same restaurant that evening, with Jeanne conspicuously absent. They ate at four different tables, with Pierre and Luc sitting as far away from each other as was possible. Sergeant Jordan was not with them. He took his dinner with the grooms so he would not have to be out of sight of the wagons.
Before they had left for the restaurant, Gabrielle had announced that Jeanne would not be with them any longer.
“Good riddance,” Carlotta had said. It had been the only comment made.
Leo, Gabrielle, Albert and Mathieu sat together at one cable, and when the meal was over, Antonio came over to pull a chair next to Gabrielle. “If you are looking for someone to take Jeanne’s place, I have a suggestion for you, Gabrielle,” he offered.
“Oh, do you know someone?” she responded. “That’s wonderful, Antonio.”
“It’s my cousin’s daughter. She’s very accomplished—she plays a number of instruments. She could easily fill Jeanne’s spot. I would be happy to teach her our music. She’d probably be able to learn it in a day.”
“Where is she now?” Gabrielle asked.
Antonio smiled. “This is what is so wonderful. She’s at my cousin’s home in Bressuire. If I send her a letter tomorrow, she should be able to meet us in Angouleme.”
“Has she ever played for a circus before?” Gabrielle asked.
“Not permanently. She is only eighteen, Gabrielle. Her mother would let her come to the Cirque Equestre because Adolphe and I are here to look after her. She can travel with us.”
Gabrielle said, “Eighteen is awfully young, Antonio.”
“I know Isabel. She’s a good girl, Gabrielle. You will like her.”
Gabrielle looked at Leo, as if to ask his opinion. Then she changed her mind and looked back to Antonio.
“All right,” she said crisply. “Send for her. But if she doesn’t work out, she will be your responsibility.”
“She’ll work out,” he said confidently. “Thank you, Gabrielle.”
He stood up, picked up the chair he had brought over and moved away.
Leo said, “It seems that all of your circus members have cousins who are in the business. First there was Carlotta and now Antonio.”
“It’s not unusual,” Gabrielle said. “The circus runs in families.”
Albert said, “Has Carlotta heard from her cousin yet?”
Gabrielle nodded. “He’s going to meet us at Bordeaux.”
People were getting up from the other tables and moving out of the dining room. Mathieu said eagerly, “Do you think we could do some algebra tonight, Leo?”
“It depends.” Leo looked at Gabrielle. “What do you want to do?” he asked.
“Stay home, put my feet up and read a book,” she said. “I hate confrontations. They exhaust me.”
Albert said, “I’ll draw you, Gabrielle.”
Leo looked at Mathieu. “I guess it’s algebra for us.”
Mathieu beamed.
“What a day,” Gabrielle said to Leo as they reached the privacy of their bedroom several hours later.
“It wasn’t pleasant, but I think Luc did us a favor by giving us a reason to get rid of Jeanne. She was a troublemaker right from the start.”
“She certainly was.” She looked anxiously at Leo.
“Do you think she’ll be all right? She might have to live for a long time on the money you gave her.”
“Women like Jeanne can take care of themselves,” he said. “Don’t bother yourself worrying about her, sweetheart. I don’t know if I can say the same about Pierre.”
“Poor Pierre,” she said. “I hope Luc doesn’t spread the news of his impotence around the whole circus.”
“I had a little talk with Luc,” Leo said. “I don’t think he’ll be opening his mouth on that subject.”
She looked at him and almost reprimanded him for once more butting into circus business. But then she thought of herself having to talk to Luc about such a subject and decided that she was glad Leo had taken the initiative.
It’s going to be so hard when he goes, she thought dismally.
He read the unhappy look on her face. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
What’s wrong is that I don’t want you to leave me.
She said instead, “I’m a little worried about having an eighteen-year-old girl in my charge. She’s awfully young.”
“Albert is seventeen and Mathieu is nineteen. You yourself are only twenty-two. And besides, she’s not in your charge. She will be in the custody of Antonio and Adolphe.”
To hide her face she went over to Colette and bent to pet her. “That’s true,” she said.
“Gabrielle,” he said. “Are you all right?”
“I’m all right. But we can’t make love tonight, Leo. It’s not the right time of the month for me.”
He crossed the floor to pull her up and take her in his arms. “It’s all right. I can wait. It’s just that we don’t have much more time. We reach Biarritz in two weeks.”
“I know,” she said sadly.
He looked down at her, but she buried her face in his shoulder so he couldn’t see it. “I meant what I said about helping Albert,” he said. “As soon as this war is over— and I think that is going to be a matter of months, not years—I will contact you. You must give me an itinerary of your stops.”
“I will,” she said.
He bent his head, pressed his lips against her hair and said, “Every time I smell a lemon, I’ll think of you.”
You’re breaking my heart, Leo, she thought. Stupid, stupid me for letting you do it.
She said, “Let’s get into bed and you can hold me for a while.”
“All right,” he said, then bent down and scooped her up in his arms. “You’re like a feather,” he said. “It always amazes me that you can control such powerful animals as Sandi and Noble.”
“It’s all in the back,” she replied.
He deposited her on the bed. “Next winter I am going to come and visit you and you can teach me how to ride like you.”
She smiled up at him from her pillow. “Leo, it took years and years for me to learn to ride the way I do now.”
He went around to his side of the bed and got in. “You had to start someplace. I’m serious, Gabrielle,” he said. “I really want to learn your kind of riding.”
She looked up into his blue-green eyes. He did look serious. “Fine,” she said. “Come and stay with us and I will teach you.”
He smiled. “Come here and let me hold you.”
Leo, Leo, she thought as she moved into his arms. I should say goodbye to you and never see you again. You should go home and marry a girl of your own class and I should get on with my life as owner of the Cirque Equestre. I don’t need to keep the heartache fresh.
She closed her eyes and rested her cheek against his shoulder and knew that if he insisted on coming to visit luring the winter, she would let him. Her heart may break, but life without Leo was too bleak to contemplate.
I love you, she thought.
But she couldn’t say that to him. She couldn’t put him on the spot like that. He cared about her, perhaps he even loved her a little. But the gap between them was too wide for love to leap across.
Her stomach cramped and she felt tears come to her eyes.
Stop it, Gabrielle, she ordered herself. You are acting like a baby. You have your own life, and you must learn to be satisfied with that. Many women have to carry on with a lot less than you have.
After half an hour she fell asleep in the comforting warmth of his arms.
Thirty
The circus made its uninterrupted way to Tours and then from Tours to Poitiers. They weren’t stopped on the road again, but as they grew closer to their destination, Leo became more and more concerned about how they were going to get the gold out from under the eyes of Sergeant Jordan. His biggest concern was that they do it in a way that would not incriminate Gabrielle. He tried to hide his concern from her—she was worried enough already—but the problem preyed on his mind.
Another problem that kept him awake at night was his own imminent disappearance from the circus. How was Gabrielle going to explain that? Everyone in the circus knew that the army was looking for the gold. What would they think when he simply disappeared at Biarritz? Luc was already suspicious of him. It wouldn’t take much for Luc to put two and two together.
She should never have agreed to carry this gold, Leo thought as he went over the situation for the hundredth time in his mind. Rothschild was wrong to ask it of her. She’s a baby when it comes to the business of smuggling.
It was up to Leo to make certain that Gabrielle wasn’t hurt. I wish to God I could make contact with the English command, he thought. They need to know about this bloody sergeant we have traveling with us. They have to come up with a plan to retrieve the gold without alerting Jordan.
The army could always shoot Jordan, but that would only point the finger of suspicion at Gabrielle. He would demand that they find another way.
These were the thoughts that were running through Leo’s mind as he lay awake next to Gabrielle on the night before the circus left Poitiers to go to Angouleme. He and Gabrielle had made love and now she was sleeping while he lay awake and worried.
She stirred a little in her sleep and he turned and looked at her.
She is so beautiful, he thought. And so good. I wonder if she would let me buy her that farm she wants so much for her horses. I hate to think of her burdened by this circus. She isn’t tough enough to make the hard decisions. She is too prone to see the good in people.
He rolled over on his back and stared up into the darkness. When the war is over, I’ll figure something out for her, he thought. The idea of Gabrielle on a farm, where he could visit her whenever he wanted, was very appealing.
He should be thrilled by the prospect of returning to the army. He had thought of little else all during his convalescence. Why was it that he felt so unenthusiastic now?
I’ve done what I swore I wouldn’t do, he thought. I’ve let her get under my skin.
It’s good that I will be returning to my regiment. I need to get back to my old life, to put my feelings into perspective.
He would feel much better about going once he was sure that Gabrielle was going to be safe.
***
Isabel Laurent joined the circus at Angouleme, bringing the band size back to four. She was a very pretty girl with lovely blue eyes, and Mathieu took one look at her and was smitten. Gabrielle was tenderly amused by her brother’s infatuation, and that evening, when Sully proposed playing a game of chess with Leo, she suggested that Isabel might like to play cards with her, Albert and Mathieu.
Isabel asked Antonio, who gave his permission, so it was a cozy group who gathered in the salon after dinner. Mathieu was Isabel’s partner, and, to Albert’s astonishment, he never once chided her for making a mistake.
As everyone was getting ready to go upstairs, Sully said in a low voice, “Thank you, Leo. I was very tempted to get drunk tonight and you helped me.”
“I told you before that I would be here for you,” Leo replied. He clapped Sully on the shoulder. “You’ll be a hero, Sully, if you conquer this. And, if you are determined enough, you will.”
Sully nodded, started to say something, then just shook his head. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Leo and Gabrielle said good-night to the others on the stair landing and turned to go into their room. As Leo closed the door behind him, Gabrielle went to the wardrobe and hung up her blue jacket.
Leo said, “That is a very pretty blue outfit you have, but don’t you have any other clothes?”
“I don’t need many clothes,” she said. “I wear my circus costume most of the time.”
She made that plain blue outfit look stylish, Leo thought. He imagined what she could do for some really nice clothes. He would love to take her shopping, but he knew without asking that she would never let him do that.
He admired that ferocious independence of hers, but it annoyed him as well. He could be of so much help to her if only she’d let him. He crossed the floor until he was standing behind her, then he put his arms around her waist. She leaned against him.
“We leave the day after tomorrow for Bordeaux,” she said.
“I know.” He rested his chin on the top of her head. “And we’ll probably be stopped again. I’m sure the army will be on the hunt on that particular piece of road.”
“Perhaps they won’t search us again. Perhaps the presence of Sergeant Jordan will put them off.”
“Just the opposite, I think. The sergeant will probably encourage them to search.”
She pulled away and turned to face him. “The closer I get to Biarritz, the more worried I get. I wish I knew -hat the army’s plan was.”
“Someone will make contact with us,” Leo said positively.
She looked up into his face and said in a low voice, “Are you going to leave with the army and the gold?”
He sighed. “Come and sit beside me on the bed.”
He picked up her hand and held it in her lap. “That was what I planned to do, but if the sergeant stays with the circus it will look suspicious at the very least. At the most it will convince him that you had the gold and have gotten rid of it.”
“Could they arrest me?” she asked.
He tightened his grip on her hand. “I won’t let things come to that. But I have to confess, I’m not quite sure how to do this. I need to rejoin my regiment, Gabrielle.”
“I have been thinking.” Her voice was so low that he nil to bend his head a little to hear her. “What if you stay with the circus beyond Biarritz? Pau will be our next stop after that and I doubt that the sergeant will accompany us that far. Pau is still close to the border with Spain, but it is much farther east—a good distance from Portugal. And the gold is going to Wellington in Portugal. The sergeant will think that if we are indeed carrying the gold, we will have to unload it in Biarritz.”
He ran his thumb caressingly over her hand. “You’re right about Pau—it is out of the way for getting the gold to Wellington. But it is out of the way for me to get to Wellington as well.”
“The English can’t be planning to start their campaign in March,” Gabrielle said. “In the mountains it will still be too cold. You will have time to backtrack to Portugal.”
There was a little silence. “It’s a good idea,” he said at last.
He put his arm aro
und her and she rested her head on his shoulder. “Have you by any chance thought up a story to tell the circus to account for my leaving?” he asked.
She nestled a little closer. “I thought we could tell them that you had received word from England that your father was dying. It would only make sense that you would want to go to his side.” She went on, “Then, when you don’t come back, I’ll tell the others that you inherited property from your father and want to stay in England, but I don’t want to give up the circus to join you.”
He felt the softness of her against him and tightened his arm. He didn’t reply.
“What do you think?” she asked, lifting her head away from his shoulder and twisting so she could see his face.
“I think it’s a perfect story,” he said. “When did you think it up?”
“I have been racking my brain for weeks trying to come up with a story that would account for your leaving,” she said. “This one came to me in the middle of the night. I woke up and it was there.”
“I have been racking my brain as well, but to no avail,” he said. “I suppose I’m not as inventive as you.”
“You mean you’re not as good a liar,” she retorted.
He shook his head. “I didn’t mean that at all.”
She sighed. “Well, it is a lie. But your whole masquerade with the circus has been a lie, so we might as well top it off with the biggest lie of all.”
“But I will be back,” he said. “Remember, I’m coming this winter to learn how to ride.”
“The story won’t matter then. The other circus acts won’t winter with us and everyone who does knows the truth.”
They both fell silent. The only sound in the room came from Colette, settling herself more comfortably on her bed.
He said, “Let me take the braid out of your hair.”
She blinked, then she smiled. “Well, that is certainly a change of subject.”
“I love to touch your hair,” he said. “It’s so silky.”
“All right, go ahead and unbraid it.” She turned her back to give him easy access to the long smoothly plaited brad-