Addictive Lunacy
Published by Malfunction Erotica.
Copyright © 2012 by N. Isabelle Blanco.
Pre-read by:
Edited By: Tamea Smith
Cover Art By: N. Isabelle Blanco
Photo credit: Deposit Photos/@arkusha (Andrey Arkusha)
Calum Alexander lived his life one way. With purpose and moderation. Everything was set in place and everything happened according to a plan. That is, until his picture perfect engagement falls apart and his crazy brother Lucas gets him to agree to a night out. Calum is left to fend for himself when Lucas decides to bail and ‘fend for himself’ he will need to. A vivacious and obviously young Livana Payne catches his attention and before he knows what's going on, they end up talking. By the end of the night, Calum is on fire for the impish girl who's managed to ignite an inferno within him.
Yes, she’s twelve years younger and the complete opposite of what he’d imagined in his life, but he hungers for her in a way that’s frightening. Drunk and surprisingly out of control, he's dead set on his need to have her. But the moment he accidentally lets it be known that he's recently single, Livana is having none of it. There is no way she's getting involved with a man who just broke up with his fiance. No, they were going to have to wait. Calum’s need for her somehow kept growing. As the days went by and he got to know her more, Livana seemed to be stealing all of his sanity. As much as she wants to wait it quickly becomes obvious to Calum that he’s losing his grip to the monster she’d awakened within him. He’s about to lose control and when he does, he knows there’s going to be nothing gentle about what he’ll end up doing to her.
1
“She was a cold, stuck up bitch anyway.”
I rolled my eyes, leaning back in my chair and staring up at the ceiling. As always, my brother Luke had such a brilliant way with words. “That cold, stuck up bitch, as you call her, was my fiance.” I felt weary as I reminded him.
Luke was unapologetic. “Was. You said it. And if she was stupid enough to let you go, my brother, then I can be as honest about her as I want.”
Against my will, I felt my lips twitch with a smile. Crass and a bit annoying, my younger brother could always be counted on to speak whatever was on his mind. Whether it was frustrating, traumatizing, or not.
“Did she even give you a real reason why?” I could hear the sounds of traffic and people in the background.
“No. Just that she couldn’t go through with it.” My eyes moved unseeingly around my office. Again, I had to wonder: Why had Diane broken off our engagement? What could have driven her to do it?
But, most importantly, why wasn’t I more upset about this whole situation? Or, more honestly, at all? I could feel a slight twinge of disappointment and the curiosity as to her reasons behind it.
What I couldn’t feel was any pain. Not even a pinch. Nothing. I’d been with the woman for two years. I’d cared for her...
Hadn’t I?
Luke started speaking again, pulling me out of my head.“You know what you need? You need to come out with me tonight.”
I was already shaking my head. “Lucas, no.”
The man nearly whined. “Come on. I’ll ask Dorian to come along. We can go to that spot I love downtown. The one that isn’t full of stuck-up asses.”
I sighed, surprised to find myself actually considering it. Then again, I really shouldn’t go. My engagement had just ended yesterday. For God’s sake, I knew what Luke was going to try to do if I did go with him.
“I won’t try to hook you up with anyone, I promise.”
Fucking mind reader.
“Dude, you can’t just stay home and dwell on this shit. Besides, it’s been awhile since the three of us hung out. I’m sure Dorian is in need of some relaxation time, as well.”
“When isn’t Dorian relaxed?” I just had to ask because seriously, I’d known Dorian for years and he was always the most calm and easy going of us all. Well, not as ‘easy going’ as my brother, but still...
“I don’t know man. He’s been off lately. Over the last two months the man’s been getting grouchier and I swear, I think it might have to do with lack of sex. He definitely needs to go out and get some—”
“Alright. That’s enough of that.” Honestly, I was not in the mood to discuss anyone’s sex life and if I let Luke stay on that track, it was only a matter of time before his own sex life came into the conversation.
No. Thank. You. I’d heard enough over the span of one lifetime.
“Just say you’ll come along. I’m already texting the fucker.”
I sighed, my gut tightening. It was a bad idea. I knew this. I could somehow feel it. And still, somehow, I heard myself answering, “Fine.”
“Fuck yeah!” Luke exclaimed excitedly. “It’s been forever since we went out .”
“Just remember your damned promise. No ‘hooking’ me up. And definitely no damned strippers.”
Luke grumbled, sounding the very definition of petulant. “Suck all the fun out of the situation, why don’t you?”
“Luke...”
“Alright. Alright. A night of mostly innocent fun. Only for you, my brother. Only for you.”
I rolled my eyes. If it wasn’t for our shared physical looks, I’d wonder if one of us had been adopted. No, scratch that. I’d claimed more than once that Luke had been found.
In a bathroom stall.
At midnight.
“Just do me one favor.”
My dread was building. “What?”
“Jeans, man. Jeans. It won’t kill you to wear a pair now and then.”
I scowled at my phone. “I do wear jeans,” I said.
“Correction: you used to wear jeans. The last time I saw you wear a pair was over two years ago, before you started dating someone who is even more stuck-up than you are.”
I was two seconds from snapping at him and telling him to forget the whole thing when he told me he’d see me tonight and hung up. Jaw twitching, I sat there, digging into my memories and trying to find one that proved Luke’s comment false.
He’d implied that I’d become even more ‘stuck-up’ after meeting Diana. It wasn’t true. I knew it couldn’t be true. I was the way I was, no one would change or influence that.
Right?
What Luke said, it wasn’t true.
Was it?
Damn my fucking brother.
***
I stared at myself in the mirror, hazel eyes furious because I’d realized one really fucked-up fact. I was in jeans and damn me, I was uncomfortable in them. Luke had been right. The dark pair of jeans I was wearing had been purchased over two years ago and they’d been hiding in the back of my closet, tags still attached.
How the hell had this happened? It wasn’t just the jeans, it was the principle. Yes, now I remembered Diane’s disdain for what she called “non-professional attire” and I remembered her voicing it early in our relationship. What I couldn’t remember was at what point I’d decided to actually listen to her opinion.
And now that I was being honest with myself, I was coming to see a few other areas of my life where I’d let my ex-fiancé’s opinion influence me without even realizing it.
I, a man who loved to have my life under my control, had let someone else have some of that control. And for what? So she could just break off our engagement without even giving me a reason why?
Oh yeah. The black-haired, hazel eyed man in the mirror was starting to look a tad bit monstrous.
Feeling like my scowl was becoming permanently etched onto my face, I all but ripped my dress shirt off. In the wall length mirror that lined one side of my closet, muscles rippled, reflecting how tensed I was as I stormed back towards where my shirts were hanging.
I flung my dress shirt on the floor and ripped through, looking for a t–shirt. Once I slipped on a black one, I felt myself calm down somewhat.
The realization that I’d let a woman that hadn’t even loved me gain that much control over my life pissed me off. Even worse, I’d never loved her. I’d always known that what people call passionate love wasn’t ever present in our relationship, but we’d been a good match.
Compatible.
At least I’d been convinced we were. I was thirty-three and it was time for me to settle down. I’d picked her and in the process made a host of idiotic mistakes. It was time I gained back control of my life. Even if it meant...
Holy shit. I can’t believe I’m actually considering this. Maybe Diane leaving me has fucked up my head more than I’m allowing myself to admit.
Then again, maybe Luke is right. Maybe being with Diane is what fucked your head and now it’s time that you go out there, move on with your life, and loosen up a bit.
I was never going to be as wild as my brother but that made sense. Determined, I picked out a pair of black casual shoes. All I had when it came to sneakers was gyms shoes but I resolved to rectify that as soon as possible.
I put on my shoes, sprayed on some cologne, and for once, I didn’t completely smooth back my hair. I just let it fall back on its own, one strand even falling forward against my will.
Yes, I was definitely a little uncomfortable. But that was the point, wasn’t it? Step a little out of my comfort zone. Or, rather, what had become my comfort zone over the last two years.
Well, as I left my penthouse apartment, I had no idea just how out of my comfort zone I was about to go.
Or how epically it would come to ruin me.
***
The bar was still mostly empty when I got there. Most happy-hour patrons were long gone. It would be at least another hour before the late evening crowd got in. Still, this is the time Luke had told me to meet him.
No, actually, he was fifteen minutes late and as I washed my hands in the bathroom I found myself fighting back my frustration. I’d just dried my hands and was about to call Luke when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I took it out and felt my brow slam low when I saw what the text said.
‘Both of us got dragged into meetings. Won’t be able to make it’ -L.
I was about to call him and rail when another text came through.
‘Can’t talk right now, I’ll call you when I’m out of the boardroom and then you can curse me out all you want. Sorry again.’ -L.
I sighed, feeling a headache coming on. Dorian text me next, also apologizing. Whatever. There went my “carefully” laid out plans of letting loose for the night. I’d just opened the door to exit the bathroom when a woman’s voice reached my ears.
A voice that could only be described as sexy.
“What do you mean you’re not coming? Damn it woman, I’m already here! You know, these are the moments I’m convinced that Ang values our friendship more than you do even though we just met...well, can’t you tell your slave-driving boss you already made plans? No, I don’t give a fuck that he got called into a last minute meeting!”
I swallowed heavily, something about that voice and the way it wrapped around the word “fuck” affecting me. Confused, I turned the corner, intent on moving towards the stairs leading back up to the bar.
Intent, common sense, and all general intelligence flew right out of the back of my head when I caught sight of the owner of that voice. A tiny blond thing was pacing back and forth in front of the stairs, her agitated steps so fast that she was almost a blur.
She was wearing a tight black skirt that reached mid-thigh. Her skin was entrancing; I immediately realized that fact, especially the amount of leg that was left bare to my view. All the way down to her flat little boots that ended at her ankles. She paired it with a white button down shirt that had the sleeves pushed up to her elbows.
But the part of her outfit that was completely different was the black fedora hat on her head. It was obviously a man’s hat but on her it looked...cute.
She was sexy and too fucking cute.
The woman turned, not catching sight of me as she continued pacing. The side of her face hit me like a slap to my own. Big lashes, small upturned nose, and a matching chin. All of it was beyond attractive.
Yes.
But it was her lips...dear God, those lips. I’ve never seen lips like that in my life. My lips parted in surprise, air rushing out. It took me a few seconds to realize that the pounding I was hearing in my ears was my heart. It roared in my chest, pummeling blood through my veins.
Blood that was...
Oh, fuck no.
Are you fucking serious right now? An erection? Really?
Yes.
Not that I was stranger to them, but this one hit me hard and out of nowhere. I actually took a step back, panting with shock and hunger.
The beauty before me continued, still oblivious to my existence. An existence that now felt like it was being somehow consumed by her.
“You made me get all ready and now you’re leaving me hanging.”
The tiny woman stomped her foot in her frustration.
“Yeah, well, you told me, ‘Liv, get sexy as fuck, we’re going out.’ So what did Liv do? Liv did her hair...yes, I straightened out my wavy as fuck locks for your ass. I even got waxed. Of course I got everything waxed...I know my pussy’s not for you. No, I wasn’t hoping to hook up with someone tonight, you insufferable shrew. Point is, you told me to be here and be sexy while doing it and now you’re leaving me hanging!”
I should have cleared my throat, asked her to move, and gotten the hell out of there. But there was no way I could do any of those things. I was frozen and somehow on the verge of breaking out into a sweat.
At no point of my life could I claim that I’d ever had an overly active imagination.
Until then.
The moment the words “waxed” and “pussy” registered in my mind, my knees nearly became useless.
I silently yelled at my mind to get the hell out of there and ignore what I’d just heard. A warning dismissed. My mouth had gone desert-dry, images running through my head that had no business being there.
I ran the back of my hand across my mouth, realizing that it was shaking.
Badly.
What the hell was happening to me?
This was...it was...visceral. That was the only damned word that came to mind.
It was also wrong! My dick was rock hard for a sexy little stranger that I’d never seen before in my life. This could be considered normal but I’d been engaged to another woman up to yesterday, and on top of that, I hadn’t reacted to a woman like this since I was a teenager.
No. Not even then.
Fuck!
“Ugh, you know what? Fuck you and your damned boss, Dem. Yeah, yeah. Whatever. No, I don’t forgive you.” There was a playful tone behind her words. A smile was playing at the corner of her lips.
Someway, somehow, I found myself jealous of that smile.
You’re definitely going insane. A smile? Really? You want to be a smile?
Those luscious lips twitched again and I found myself mutely nodding.
So full. God, just look at the bottom one...
She’d stopped her pacing and now stood with her side facing me. Against my will, my eyes traveled from head to toe, drinking in every detail.
My mouth felt bone dry but somehow, it felt like drool was about to leak out of the corner of my lips. I heard the woman say goodbye and saw her hang up the phone. That was my moment. My moment to move.
Did I take it? Fuck no. I was paralyzed.
Completely so.
A part of me hoped that she would just turn around and walk up the stairs. That she’d ignore me and leave me to deal with the thing that was suddenly eating at me. No such luck. All it took for her to notice me was her hanging up her phone.
The moment this beautiful creature named Liv turned to look
at me, I knew I was done for.
I knew it.
She had to tilt her head all the way back to look at me. Huge, dark blue eyes blinked in confusion. I could see shock there. Then, a look I’d seen before in women’s eyes crossed her own.
Considering what she was doing to me, it should have come as no surprise that seeing that look on her face nearly sent me into a rage. Not the type that had to do with anger, although that simmered beneath everything. But seeing those huge eyes falling to my feet and slowly, very slowly, crawling their way back up, getting hotter and hotter all the while...
This time, I did clear my throat. Not because I wanted to interrupt her. Hell no. Her gaze felt like a physical touch beneath my clothes and most of my idiotic body was loving it. The clearing of my throat came about simply because I couldn’t really breathe anymore.
Not really.
My throat was closing in on me, intent on ending my life.
The woman heard me and her eyes snapped up to meet my own. Nothing could have surprised me more than when she narrowed them, one eyebrow raising as she threw me an annoyed look.
She huffed, crossing her arms. “Oh what? You can stand there and eavesdrop on my convo, which I totally know you did, and I can’t take something in return?”
I blinked, completely confused. Then, because my eyes truly were against me, they decided to give her one more very thorough once-over.
God. As Luke would say, she’s fucking hot.
That dark blond eyebrow remained raised. Then, God help me, she pursed her lips, tilting her head and studying me. “How much of that did you actually hear?” she asked, her small hand raising to adjust the hat on her head.
I swallowed, trying to find my voice. “A...quite a bit,” I finally said, not wanting to lie to her.
A sheepish look came over her face for about a second.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. I was just leaving the bathroom and...yeah.” I was feeling completely out of my element as I motioned uselessly behind me.
She looked away, her cheeks actually turning pink.
Fuck my life and everything in it.
Addictive Lunacy Page 1