Our Fragile Hearts

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Our Fragile Hearts Page 10

by Buffy Andrews

“And we can have a tea party with our stuffed animals and climb your tree.” Piper talked so fast the words piled on top of one another.

  Once again, I looked at Rachel to translate. “I told Piper you had a beautiful tree in your back yard that was perfect for climbing. But, of course, I explained we’d have to ask you first if we could try.”

  I smiled. “As long as you’re careful climbing. I wouldn’t want anyone to slip and fall and hurt themselves.”

  I stood. “Is everyone ready for dessert?”

  Piper’s smile took up her entire face. “Are we going to have worms again? I liked the worms.”

  I shook my head. “But I do have a dessert I think you’ll like.”

  “Is there whipped topping?”

  “As much of it as you want,” I said.

  As I walked away I heard Piper tell Rachel, “Mary’s nice and she knows I like whipped cream.”

  “I knew you would like her. She’s a wonderful person,” Rachel said.

  I returned with a tray filled with three raspberry vanilla pudding parfaits. The parfaits were layered – vanilla pudding on the bottom, raspberries in the middle, vanilla pudding on top. I’d finished them with whipped cream, raspberry drizzle and a cookie. I served Piper first, setting the bottle of whipped topping beside her parfait so she could add as much as she wanted. Then I served Rachel and finally myself.

  Rachel picked up my dessert spoon. “These look amazing.”

  Piper picked up the bottle of whipped topping.

  “Don’t forget to shake it,” I reminded her.

  She shook the bottle and pressed the white nozzle down, shooting out a steady stream of whipped topping. When the whipped topping started oozing down the side of the parfait, Rachel reached over. “That’s enough, Piper.”

  By the time we had finished dinner I could barely move.

  “Everything was amazing, Mary,” Rachel said. “How did you learn to cook so well?”

  I sipped my tea. “Growing up we had a housekeeper. Her name was Esther and she was a great cook. She taught me.”

  “What about your mommy?” Piper said. “Did she cook? My mommy used to cook for me. Rachel doesn’t cook.”

  Rachel patted Piper on the arm. “I do, too, cook, Piper. I made you chicken noodle soup the other night.”

  “But the soup you bought had noodle strings. I like round noodles better.”

  I could see Rachel’s face was turning red. “Cooking was never something I excelled at.”

  I smiled. “If you want to learn, I can teach you.”

  “You’d do that? Teach me?”

  “Sure,” I said. “If we’re going to have dinner together once a week, maybe you can help me and learn.”

  “Sounds wonderful, as long as I have time to help Piper with homework. Speaking of which…” I checked the time on my cellphone. “It’s getting late, Piper. Let’s help Mary clean up and then go home and finish your schoolwork.”

  Piper’s shoulders slumped. “But we didn’t get to climb the tree.”

  “We’ll climb it another day. We have to read yet tonight.”

  Piper looked at Rachel. “Can Mary read to me?”

  I looked at Rachel, waiting to hear her response. “You’ll have to ask Mary.”

  Piper popped out of her chair and bounced over to me. “Will you read a book to me?”

  I patted the top of Piper’s curly mop. “Of course, dear. I love reading. I read to some boys and girls about your age earlier today. But let’s clean off the table first. Then we’ll find a book in the library. There’s a whole shelf of kids’ books. Most of them were mine when I was your age.”

  We cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher. There were a few items that needed to be washed by hand, including the big roasting pan. “Mary, why don’t I finish up while you read to Piper?”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely. It’s the least I can do.”

  I took Piper’s hand and we walked into the living room. We sat on the sofa by the lamp and Piper scrunched up as close as she could. She looked up at me. “Will you be my friend?”

  I smiled. “Of course, Piper. Will you be mine?”

  Piper nodded and smashed up against me even more. I opened the book and began to read Madeline.

  Rachel came in a few minutes later. “I loved this book when I was a child. I wanted to be just like Madeline because she was so brave. She wasn’t afraid of anything! I remember when I had chicken pox I scratched my leg and it left a scar. I was devastated. But then I remembered Madeline and how she was so proud of her scar that she hiked up her nightgown to show it off.”

  Piper giggled and pleaded with me to read the book again when I’d finished it.

  “Pretty please with vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup and whipped cream and a fat cherry on top?” Piper asked.

  I looked at Rachel because I knew it was getting late and it soon would be past Piper’s bedtime. “We’d better go, Piper. You need to get your bath yet and it’s getting late.”

  Piper’s face was the picture of disappointment.

  “We can read it the next time you come to visit,” I assured her. “Rachel’s right. It’s getting late.”

  I stood and took Piper’s hand. Piper grabbed Rachel Rose off the couch. Rachel looked inside her purse and pulled out her keys. “Look what I’ve found, Piper. You forgot to give Mary the drawings you made her.”

  Piper grinned and gave them to me. “And I did it all by myself.”

  I looked at the drawing and my hand flew to her heart.

  “That’s your climbing tree and your water fountain. And you and me and Rachel.”

  “It’s the most beautiful present anyone has ever given me,” I said. “I will treasure it always.”

  Chapter 17

  Rachel

  Piper snuggled Rachel Rose. She hadn’t let the stuffed puppy out of her sight since Mary gave it to her. On the drive home, Piper talked non-stop. About the gift. About Mary allowing her to put as much whipped cream as she wanted on her dessert. About Mary reading to her. My mouth was dry just listening to her go on and on.

  “And Mary said the next time we visit I can climb her tree and she’ll read to me again.”

  I smiled. “It looks like you and Mary really hit it off. I’m glad.”

  “Me, too.”

  That night when I tucked Piper into bed, I listened as she said her prayers.

  “And God bless Rachel and Mary and Jacy. And the Tooth Fairy.”

  I’d almost forgotten about Piper losing her tooth. She’d placed it under her pillow before we went to Mary’s house. I called Claire after Piper was asleep and I’d successfully managed to retrieve the tooth and replace it with a dollar without her waking up.

  “Guess what I did tonight?” I asked Claire.

  “Registered for classes?”

  “No, I played the Tooth Fairy.”

  “Was it Piper’s first?”

  “Yeah. And I wasn’t sure what the going rate for a tooth was these days so I left her a buck.”

  “A buck sounds good. Was it a big front tooth?”

  “No. One on the bottom.”

  “I’d give her a fiver for the big ones. Isn’t that what Miss Evelyn gave you that time?”

  “I’d forgotten about that.”

  “How could you forget? Remember how we jiggered the door so when the Tooth Fairy opened it a net would fall down and catch her?”

  I laughed. “And we put Miss Evelyn’s Christmas jingle bell wreath on the door handle so when the Tooth Fairy opened the door it would make noise.”

  “It was your idea,” Claire said. “You were always coming up with crazy ideas.”

  “Well, Miss Evelyn spoiled me because by the next time I’d lost a tooth I was living with Mom again. Do you know what the Tooth Fairy put under my pillow at her house?”

  Claire didn’t answer.

  “Nothing!”

  “Well, that’s not much better than my mom. She gave me a wood
en nickel with ‘good for one free drink’ stamped on it.”

  We both laughed but it wasn’t really funny.

  “Ugh!” Claire whined. “I just broke a nail because Harry isn’t here to help me move a piece of furniture.”

  “Why? Where’s Harry?”

  “He told me he’d be home an hour ago but he still isn’t here.”

  I piled up my bed pillows and lay back. “Have you tried calling him?”

  “Yes and my calls are forwarded to his voicemail. I knew he was working late, but hadn’t figured on it being quite this late. Anyway, what’s up?”

  I told Claire about our night with Mary. “And the sight of Mary reading to Piper on the couch seemed so perfect, like it was meant to be.”

  Claire coughed. “Maybe it was.”

  “Was what?”

  “Maybe Mary and Piper connecting was meant to be.”

  “Oh come on, Claire. You know I don’t believe in that stuff. It’s way too creepy.”

  “Well, think what you want but I think some things happen because someone somewhere determined they should.”

  I laughed. “What? You think a bunch of Greek gods are sitting around messing up people’s lives just for the heck of it?”

  “No. I believe there’s one God and that things happen because they’re meant to happen.”

  “Even when what happens makes it worse for you?” I asked.

  “As crazy as it might sound, yes. How many times has something happened and you cursed it only to realize later that if it hadn’t happened, you’d be in a lot worse shape?”

  I bit my lip and tried to remember. While there were definitely times when I became angry about something only to realize I was better off because it had happened, there were also times when I didn’t feel that way. For example, I didn’t see any value in growing up with an alcoholic mother who always chose the bottle over me. I didn’t see the redeeming value of having to live in foster homes while she dried out. Nor did I see any positive effect of her verbal abuse, which added to my vocabulary at a very young age. But I wasn’t about to get into all of this with Claire. I knew how strongly she felt about things happening for a reason. I’d been down this road with her before. “So what are you and Harry doing this weekend?”

  “Trying to change the subject, eh?” Claire laughed.

  “Yeah. Trying.”

  “Okay, I’ll play along. I have to work Saturday but Sunday we’re going to that mall that just opened. I need some fall clothes. What about you?”

  “Not sure. Maybe I’ll take Piper to the park. I was thinking about calling Nick to see if he wanted to go with us. He mentioned when he called the other day about doing something together sometime.”

  “You go, girl!” Claire said.

  “Stop it. We’re just friends.”

  “Yes, but you’d like to be more.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Go ahead and lie to yourself, Rachel, but you can’t fool me. I know when you like a guy and you’ve been sick for Nick a long time.”

  “Well, even if that’s true I’m not sure he thinks I’m girlfriend material.”

  “What? You’ve got to be kidding me. I see the way he looks at you. He’s like a little puppy with his tongue hanging out waiting to be petted.”

  “Now you’re exaggerating.”

  “Am not.”

  “Are, too.”

  “Well, time will tell who’s right. And I’m ninety-nine point eight percent sure it’s me.”

  I yawned. “I guess I should get to bed.”

  “But it’s early.”

  I yawned again. “I know but I’ve been so tired lately. I haven’t been sleeping too well. I just can’t seem to shut down my mind when my head hits the pillow.”

  “Probably anxiety. Maybe you should go to the doctor’s. Get checked out.”

  “You know I hate going to the doctor’s. Besides, it’ll pass. With all of Piper’s homework I feel as if I’m the one in school.”

  Claire laughed. “I can honestly say I’m not looking forward to that when I have kids.”

  “Whoa! Back up. That’s like the first time I heard you mention kids. You don’t have something to tell me, do you?”

  “Heck, no! I’m just saying that if I have kids I won’t be looking forward to the homework part. It seems like a lot of the projects Piper gets you have to help her with, or at least read the instructions and explain to her what she should do.”

  “True. I do feel that way sometimes. Anyhow, I want to help her. I don’t want to be my mother.”

  “See, told you.”

  “Told me what?”

  “Good things can come out of bad things. You’re raising Piper a certain way because of how you were raised.”

  I was too tired to debate with Claire. It was as if she was saying I had an alcoholic mom so that when it came time for me to raise a child I’d know what not to do. But it could have had the reverse effect. I obviously never had a role model so I might’ve turned out just like her.

  I yawned a third time. “Goodnight, Claire. I hope Harry comes home soon.”

  I fell asleep almost immediately and in the morning I smelled Piper’s stinky breath before I heard her.

  “Rachel, are you dead?”

  She was so close to my face that her curls tickled my nose. I peeled back my eyelids to find Piper hunched over, her eyes inches from mine. I couldn’t help myself. In the loudest voice I could muster at that time in the morning I shouted, “Boo!”

  Piper jerked up and I grabbed her and tickled her tummy. She grabbed a pillow off the bed and whacked me with it. Soon there was a full-blown pillow fight under way. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Piper laugh so much. And I can’t remember the last time my gut hurt from laughing so hard. It was actually the perfect start to the day.

  Piper lay beside me. “Will you make me pancakes?”

  I sighed, remembering I’d promised her I’d make them for her over the weekend. “Well, it is Saturday. I guess a promise is a promise.”

  Piper grabbed Rachel Rose off the floor and I followed her to the kitchen. “Why don’t you watch cartoons while I mix the batter?”

  Piper went into the living room and turned on the TV. I put on a pot of coffee and started mixing the pancake mix when I heard Piper laughing. I peeked around the corner to find her watching a commercial for Doggie Doo. I shook my head. What will toy makers think of next? The game involves feeding and walking your dog and if he makes a mess you clean it up! Oh, almost forgot. When you squeeze the dog’s leash he makes a gassy sound and it gets louder and louder until… Well, you’ve got poop to clean up. What fun! Right?

  Piper turned to find me shaking my head. “I want Doggie Doo. Can I get him? Can I? Can I?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Maybe you can put it on your birthday or Christmas list.”

  I returned to my pancake making and called Piper as I was sliding two onto the Cinderella plate she always used.

  I sat down and sipped my coffee. “So what do you want to do today?”

  Piper stabbed a piece of pancake with her fork. “Can we go to the park?”

  “Do you mind if I invite a friend along?”

  Piper’s eyes widened. “Mary?”

  “Sorry, no. His name is Nick. I met him at work.”

  Piper’s face looked like she’d just opened a present expecting to find something great and instead found something useful – like underwear. “Is he nice?”

  “Of course. You’ll like him.”

  I called Nick while Piper finished her pancakes. It went into voicemail and I left a message telling him we were going to the park and if he wanted to join us he could. I jumped into the shower and checked my phone afterward but there was no message from Nick. Piper was waiting for me in the living room. “Well, Pipe, I guess it’s just you and me. Ready?”

  I was sitting on the park bench watching Piper swing when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped up and turned around. “Nick! You scared me.”

&
nbsp; He smiled. “Sorry. I got your message and thought I’d drop by and see if you were still here. I was running when you called.”

  He wore blue jeans and a blue-striped, button-down shirt over a white tee and his hair was damp.

  “You look like you just got out of the shower.”

  “I did. And, trust me, it’s good I did. After running ten miles I was soaked with sweat and smelled like the junior high boys’ locker room.”

  I laughed. “That bad, huh?”

  Nick nodded. “That bad.”

  He sat down beside me and nodded toward Piper. “So that’s Piper, huh? Cute kid.”

  “Thanks! She loves to swing.”

  “Think we could interest her in going for a hike?”

  “Maybe.”

  Piper slowed down and eventually stopped swinging. She jumped off the swing and ran over to the bench. “Are you Rachel’s boyfriend?”

  Nick’s face flushed with color. “No, we’re just friends.”

  “Do you like to swing?”

  Nick shrugged. “I used to. Haven’t done it in a long time, though.”

  “Will you swing with me?”

  Nick looked at me. “Only if Rachel will.”

  Piper grabbed my arm to pull me off the bench. “Please, Rachel. Please.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Do I have to? You two can swing and I’ll watch.”

  Nick looked at me. “I’ll only do it if you do it.”

  I didn’t want to disappoint Piper so I got up from the bench.

  “Oh, goodie,” Piper said. She ran to the swing set and sat in the middle swing. “You sit here, Rachel.” She pointed to her right.

  I sat down on the swing and Nick took the other one.

  “Let’s see who can go the highest,” Piper said.

  She pumped her legs and had a pretty good head start. Nick and I held back, letting her think she was just too good at swinging for us to ever be able to go as high as she was.

  Growing up, I always felt as if the wind had been kept from me no matter how hard I pumped my legs. I didn’t want that for Piper. I’m not sure why it was so important to me, but I wanted to empower her, to make her feel as if she could do anything, accomplish anything, be anything she wanted. At the end of my life, I wanted to be able to say that I did all that I could for her. I did my best. I just hoped my best was good enough.

 

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