by Tara Shuler
now that I’ve had the chance to know you –
really know you – I realize I can’t ever live
without you. I had to tell you before it’s too late.
In case we don’t make it, in case the worst
should happen, I need you to know how much I
love you.”
“I already know,” I told him truthfully.
“You couldn’t possibly know the extent of
what I feel for you, Alice,” he confessed. “I can’t
put it into words. There are no words. I know
this is going to complicate things for you even
further, and I’m sorry. If we make it, I will do my
best to suppress my feelings for you for as long
as I need to. I’m hoping someday you will love
me in return, but if that day never comes, I will
accept it as long as you are happy.”
“Alexi, I…” I struggled to say the words.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he said. “I
just wanted you to know. In case something
happens, I needed you to know.”
I didn’t want to say the words. I already had
Kai and Max at each other’s throats, and it was
all they could do to keep from killing each other.
They were in complete internal turmoil because
of my indecision. I loved Kai. I knew I wanted to
be with him. He was the one. But I loved Max,
too.
But until that moment, there in the bathroom
before we would go and face mortal danger
together, I realized I loved Alexi, too. I didn’t
want to feel that way. I hoped the day would
never come that I would come to love him the
way he said I would, but it was true. And because
we might be facing death, I felt the same way he
did. I couldn’t let the chance slip by to tell him.
“I have to confess something to you,” I said at
last.
“What is it, my love?” he asked. “You can tell
me anything.”
“I…” I gulped. “I love you, Alexi. God help
me, I love you.”
My eyes filled with tears, and I saw that his
did, too. His lips parted as if he wanted to say
something, but no words would come. Finally,
after a long moment, he spoke.
“You’ve seen my face… and you… love me?”
he asked in surprise.
“Alexi,
you’re
beautiful,”
I
insisted.
“Everything about you is so beautiful I can’t
even explain it. You’re so beautiful it makes me
want to cry!”
I stood on my toes and put my hands on his
face. I gently kissed the scar that tried to hide his
beauty.
“No one has ever said that to me before,” he
whispered. “I’ve always been told I was ugly.
People have always cringed at my face, so I
decided to hide it. I haven’t let anyone see my
face in years.”
“Shh,” I shushed him. “It’s beautiful. You’re
beautiful.”
I let my hands slide around from his cheeks
and into his hair, and I pulled him toward me. I
thought of Kai, and I knew how much this would
hurt him, but Alexi was right. I knew we might
die, and Alexi didn’t deserve to die without ever
having kissed me. To tell the truth, I didn’t want
that, either. I wanted to kiss him.
His breath was hot on my face, and I could
feel it grow ragged with excitement. His face
slowly inched closer to mine, as if he were giving
me a chance to resist. But I didn’t want to resist.
I parted my lips and closed my eyes, and a faint
gasp of anticipation escaped my lips at the
moment I felt his lips brush lightly against mine.
Emboldened by my lack of resistance, his lips
pressed against mine, and my pulse quickened. I
hadn’t realized just how strong my feelings for
him were, but in his kiss, I could feel a thousand
raw emotions boiling over.
I heard him moan gently, and I knew the kiss
was just as magical as it was for me. It fueled my
passion, and I wrapped my arms around his neck
and pushed him back against the wall, pressing
my body against his.
I pushed Kai and Max to the back of my mind
just for that one moment. I’d already had this
moment with them, and now Alexi deserved his. I
allowed myself to be completely wrapped into
that rapturous kiss.
Alexi’s strong arms wrapped around me, and
he lifted me off the ground. I wrapped my legs
around his waist, and my arms embraced him as
tightly as they could. I never wanted to let go.
“I knew it…” Alexi whispered. “I knew you
would love me.”
“I do,” I sighed. “I love you.”
His lips found mine again, and we both
moaned contentedly.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he said, his voice
breaking. “Even if we make it through this, I
don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t,” I promised, stroking his cheek.
“I’ll always love you.”
“But you love them, too,” he mentioned,
referring to Kai and Max.
I opened my mouth, but the words refused to
come. I couldn’t think of anything I could say
that would make it better.
“I can still wait for you,” he told me. “We’ve
had this moment, but I don’t expect anything
more from you until you’re ready.”
“Thank you, Alexi,” I said. “That’s one reason
why I’ve come to love you so much. Things are
so natural with you. You never pressure me,
never try to make me feel guilty. I wish I could
have met you before…”
I couldn’t finish the sentence.
“Before you met them?” he asked.
I nodded, tears threatening to spill from my
eyes. My lip quivered.
“As do I,” Alexi said. “Father never saw them,
or I would have done more to find you sooner. I
had no idea. I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t apologize,” I pleaded. “You
couldn’t have known.”
“No matter what happens today, never forget
that I love you,” he said. “I love you more than I
ever believed I could, and I always knew that I
loved you. Since I met you, it’s developed into
something much more than just love. It’s
indescribable.”
“I know things are complicated,” I told him.
“And I can’t see any way to fix them right now.
But I realize I do love you. And… I don’t want
to lose you, either. I just don’t want to keep
hurting you all.”
“I can take the pain,” Alexi said. “Maybe they
can’t, but I can. So if I have to stand in the
background and watch from afar until you’re
ready, I will.”
“I don’t want to have to ask that of you,” I
said sadly.
“I know, my love. But if it has to be this way,
then it shall.”
I kissed him agai
n, and I tried to project every
feeling I had for him into it. I wanted him to
understand, to truly know how much I loved him.
I didn’t know what would happen after that
moment, but I needed him to feel my love for
him before it might be too late.
“Never forget,” I whispered. “No matter what
happens. Promise me.”
“I promise,” he said. “Even if you never
choose me, I will always remember this, and it
will keep me going until my last breath.”
“I love you, Alexi,” I told him one last time,
kissing
his
scar
again.
“And
you
are
indescribably beautiful to me. Never forget.”
He closed his eyes and touched his forehead to
mine.
“I could never forget it, Alice,” he gushed. “In
a thousand millennia I could never forget such
sweet words uttered by such sweet lips. I will
carry it with me always.”
A tear spilled down my cheek, and he gently
brushed it away. I felt his lips press hard against
the top of my head, and he took a deep breath.
“Let’s go,” he said, squaring his jaw to
strengthen his resolve, and pulling the hood of
his cloak up to cover his face once more.
When we stepped out of the bathroom, Kai
and Max glared angrily. I hoped they couldn’t
hear our exchange, but I wouldn’t have taken it
back even if they did. It meant too much.
“Let’s do this,” I said.
“Wait,” Max said.
He walked over to me, wrapped his arms
around me, and kissed me gently. Behind him,
Kai cleared his throat. Max broke away from the
kiss and stepped back.
“I won’t apologize for kissing her,” Max said
to Kai.
“You won’t have to apologize if you don’t do
it,” Kai growled.
“Look, man,” Max snarled. “If you hadn’t run
off that time and left her freaked out and
wondering if you were even alive, maybe you
wouldn’t have to be dealing with this right now!”
“Stop!” I exclaimed.
“I was there before you, and I’ll be there long
a f t e r you’re gone!” Kai shouted at Max,
clenching his fists and taking one step toward
him.
“We’ll see about that, won’t we?” Max
snarled, stepping toward Kai.
“Stop, stop, stop!” I shouted, putting one hand
on each of their chests. “You can’t be doing this
now! We have stuff to deal with.”
“Fine,” Max said through clenched teeth.
Kai suddenly grabbed me and pulled me to
him, delivering a sizzling kiss that left me weak
in the knees. I gasped aloud when it was over,
and then I realized he was just trying to outdo
Max. I sighed. I looked over at Max and his
whole body was shaking with anger.
“Save it,” I told him, my eyes narrow.
Max turned around, snatched up a chair, and
shattered it against this wall. It splintered into
hundreds of pieces and rained down on the room.
Then he punched a locker so hard it buckled
inward and the hinges popped off.
“You good now?” I asked him gently.
“Yeah, I’m good,” he growled, still panting
with rage.
“Focus,” I told him, putting my hand on his
chest. “There’s a lot at stake. This stuff can
wait.”
“Right,” he said, exhaling loudly. “Right,
you’re right.”
“Let’s go,” I said, and I headed down the
tunnel.
When we got to the door, Alexi and Liam
pushed their hands onto the sensor in the wall. It
didn’t need a keypad entry to open it from the
inside. I heard the door grind open, and then I felt
a hand on my shoulder.
“We’re going first,” Alexi said, referring to
Liam and himself.
Alexi turned to Kai and Max.
“If anything happens, get her back in here and
close the door. Don’t come out until someone
comes for you. Understand?” Alexi instructed
them.
“Got it,” Kai said, and Max nodded.
Alexi left the door open so we could get back
in if there was an emergency, and I followed
along behind him. We trudged down the pitch-
black passageway and up the stairs, and Alexi
pulled a level that opened the secret door that led
into the meeting hall. The room was empty, and
our footsteps echoed through the eerie silence
like water dripping in a quiet room.
“I’ve got a bad feeling,” I said suddenly.
Alexi froze.
“What do you mean?” he said quickly.
“Something’s wrong,” I replied. “I can feel it.”
Alexi must have trusted me implicitly. I put
his hand out in front of me to keep me from
moving forward.
“Stay by the door,” he whispered.
“But…” I tried to object.
He turned to me and said imploringly,
“Please, Alice.”
I nodded, and said, “Be careful.”
Alexi and Liam stepped cautiously into the
hallway.
A moment later, I heard Alexi scream in
terror, “Father, no!”
“Get her into the bunker! Now!” Liam
shouted.
“Alexi…” I whispered, hearing the pain in his
voice.
I tried to take a step forward, but Kai and Max
grabbed my arms, pulling me back toward the
bunker.
“No!” I shouted. “Let me go!”
They continued to pull me toward the bunker
door, and I struggled to free myself. I knew
Barnabas was injured, if not killed, and I was
terrified that something might happen to Alexi.
“Please don’t make me do this,” I begged
them.
“Alice, come on!” Kai demanded. “Liam said
to…”
“I’m warning you!” I said, still struggling to
free myself from their vice-like grips.
“Please don’t do this,” Max beseeched.
“Please.”
“You’ve left me no choice,” I said. “I’m
sorry.”
I closed my eyes and remembered my training.
Alexi was in danger, and I had to get to him. I felt
a light warmth pass through my arms, and Kai
and Max both slumped to the floor.
I quickly dragged both of them through the
secret door and down the stairs, and I left them in
the passageway, leaning against the walls. I
kissed their foreheads and whispered, “I love
you.”
I rushed back up the stairs and pushed the
secret door shut, hoping to keep them hidden and
safe. Then I flew out to find Alexi and Liam.
When I entered the main foyer, I gasped aloud.
Dozens of bodies littered the floor like garbage
after a party. It was a massacre.
I scanned the room, and I saw Alexi and Liam
crouchin
g down near the front door. Filled with
dread, I slowly approached them. When I neared
them, I saw Alexi cradling Barnabas’ upper body
in his arms, and Liam holding his father’s hand.
I put my hand on Alexi’s shoulder, and he
jumped, startled.
“Alice!” he gasped. “What are you doing?
You’re supposed to be in the bunker! Where are
Kai and Max?”
“I kinda put them to sleep,” I admitted meekly.
“You what?” he gasped. “Why would you do
that, Alice?”
“I thought you were in trouble,” I said quietly.
“You…” he breathed. “Alice, you just…”
Looking at Barnabas, I asked, “Is there
anything I can do?”
“Grace won’t work, now,” Alexi said, his
voice breaking. “It’s too late.”
“No…” I whispered, falling to my knees
beside Alexi. “Oh, Alexi, I’m so sorry.”
I put my arm around his shoulder, and I put
my other hand on Liam’s shoulder.
“How late were we?” I asked.
Alexi understood my meaning. He knew I was
worried that our time in the bathroom would
have made a difference.
“From the way it looks, it was hours ago,” he
said. “Could have even been right after we went
into the bunker.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“Wraiths,” Liam said quickly.
“How do you know?” I enquired.
Liam brushed his hand along the floor and
showed me his hand. It was covered in a thick
film of white dust that glittered faintly.
“It’s the dust that’s left behind from their
gas,” Liam explained, his face hardened from
repressed grief. “It’s harmless now.”
“They gassed the whole place?” I said weakly.
I felt sick.
“I don’t know if there are any survivors,”
Liam said.
“Shouldn’t we go look?” I asked. “I can go if
you want to stay with your father.”
“No!” Alexi snapped. “You shouldn’t even be
out here, Alice. Much less wandering around on
your own.”
“I’m going to go look,” I said. “If there are
survivors, there may be people in need of help.”
“I’ll go with her,” Liam offered.
“No, we should both go,” Alexi argued.
“There’s nothing I can do for him, anyway.”
“Alexi, if you need time to grieve, I…” I
started to say.
“I can grieve later,” he interrupted. “But I
can’t bear to grieve for you along with him.”
Alexi gently lowered his father to the floor,
and he leaned forward and kissed his forehead. I