“Thank you,” I said and got in.
He said nothing, returned to the driver’s seat and we started away. It wasn’t until we were well along that I wondered why the Endfields would have sent for me immediately anyway. Why wouldn’t they have waited for me to return from school? They didn’t know about my real relationship to Grandmother Hudson and I would never have expected them to be so concerned for me.
The answer was obvious as soon as I had entered the house and Leo directed me to the drawing room. Greataunt Leonora was on the settee, a handkerchief pressed to her face. Great-uncle Richard was seated in the chair across from her. He looked as stern and as formal as ever in his three-piece pinstriped suit, his face filled more with anger than sorrow.
“Have a seat,” he commanded, nodding at the settee. I turned to Great-aunt Leonora as I crossed into the room. She lowered her handkerchief, revealing her bloodshot eyes and pale face, swallowed hard and watched me walk to the settee as if she was meeting me for the first time. I guess in a sense she really was.
“What happened to Mrs. Hudson?” I asked as I sat.
My Great-uncle Richard sat up straighter in his chair and glared at me.
“I’ll be the one conducting this inquiry,” he said.
“Inquiry?”
“Victoria called us a little over two hours ago with all the bad news,” he said, stressing all and bad. “It appears that you have been living here under a deception,” he said with stinging eyes of accusation. “Almost like some sort of spy planted in our home, disguised as a poor orphan girl who had to work her way through school as a mere domestic, when in reality, you are heir to Frances’s fortune now and indeed a blood relative,” he said.
Great-aunt Leonora let out a loud wail and sobbed hysterically for a few moments, her shoulders shaking so hard, I thought she might crack a bone. Great-uncle Richard just watched her disdainfully and then finally said, “That’s enough, Leonora. Enough!” he commanded when she didn’t stop instantly.
Her sobs diminished into gasps like a small engine running out of gas and so did her trembling. She covered her face with her handkerchief and glanced at me.
“There is sadness, tragedy and disgrace, almost in equal portions,” he continued. “I don’t know where to begin with this ugly mess.”
“It wasn’t my idea to keep everything secret,” I said. “Grandmother Hudson thought that for now it would be best.”
“Grandmother Hudson! Oh, dear, dear, dear,” Greataunt Leonora moaned.
“I’d appreciate it if you would refrain from calling her that while you are still here with us,” Great-uncle Richard said. “We have been able to contain the embarrassment and keep it amongst ourselves in this house, however I must know immediately who else knows the truth about you. I mean, of course, who else in England? It’s not as important in America, but here reputation is more valuable than a large bank account.”
I stared at him, trying to decide what Grandmother Hudson would want me to do: just get up and walk out or tell him everything? I decided it made little difference now. It was clear they didn’t want me here and I couldn’t want to leave any more than I did at the moment.
“My real father for one,” I said, enjoying the look of shock on both their faces.
“What’s that? Real father?” He grimaced. “I’m talking about here in England,” he said condescendingly as if in England such a father would never exist.
“And I repeat, my real father. He lives here and has been living here for some time.”
No one spoke. Great-uncle Richard looked lost for words for a moment and Great-aunt Leonora sat there with her mouth open, her tongue frozen.
“This man, this real father, this is the man with whom our niece Megan. . .” He waved his hand in the air to finish his thought. It was beneath him to do more than make some vague references to my mother’s affair.
“That’s how it works,” I said. “How babies get born.”
“Don’t be impudent,” he snapped, but looked away quickly. I began to wonder what bothered him the most about me now: the fact that I was a relative or that he had put a relative into one of his fantasies in the cottage? I was tempted to ask, to shoot hot, mean words back at him, but one glance at Great-aunt Leonora halted my fury. It would drive her into further hysterics and I had no reason to punish her.
“Well,” he continued, suddenly buoyed by the news, “did this man offer to take you in?”
“No. He has his own family here.”
‘I see.” He grimaced and nodded. “Actually, I expected to hear something like that.”
“It’s not what you’re suggesting,” I said. “He’s a respected man, a college professor. I don’t want to be the one to ruin his family,” I said.
“No? You want to ruin this one instead, is that it?”
“I don’t want to ruin any family. I didn’t ask to be born like this and then to be sold off and returned this way,” I said.
“Sold off?” Great-aunt Leonora looked at her husband. “I don’t understand what she means, Richard.”
“It’s not of any importance now. Spare us those details,” he said. “We have enough to deal with at the moment. I’m making arrangements as we speak for all of us to fly to Virginia for the funeral and for the aftermath. With you being a part of the legacy, you will have to be there, of course. I’m sure you won’t mind leaving school for that.”
“I’m going because I want to be there. Grandmother Hudson was very dear to me.” I spun on Great-aunt Leonora before she could moan. “And I won’t call her anything else anymore. The truth is finally out and that’s it,” I said firmly.
She looked like she would shatter into tiny pieces like some piece of china.
“You won’t be coming back here,” Great-uncle Richard said. “Take everything that belongs to you.”
“That’s fine with me,” I said.
“Oh dear, dear,” Great-aunt Leonora moaned. “What was Megan thinking of, to have a child with a black man?”
“She was always wild,” Great-uncle Richard complained. “I warned your sister every time I set eyes on her that they were being too lenient, but that’s the way Americans bring up their children,” he lectured, “far too liberally. Once you surrender order, decorum, a sense of place and heritage, you . . .”
“Start pretending you’re someone else?” I asked pointedly. “Participate in little illusions and games?”
He turned a little crimson, but held his posture and his gaze.
“There’s no point in talking about it any further. We’ll be leaving on the eight o’clock flight tonight. Get your things together. That’s all I want to say about this right now,” he added to tightly shut down the conversation.
“You don’t want me to serve you dinner?” I asked, my voice thick with sarcasm.
“Hardly,” he said.
“I don’t want to eat anything,” Great-aunt Leonora muttered. “My sister is gone. I have no family left,” she wailed and rocked herself in her seat.
“You have two nieces and a great-niece and -nephew,” her husband reminded her.
“Two great-nieces,” I said.
She looked at me. The whole thing was finally settling into her mind and she didn’t know what to say or what to feel. Finally, I thought, someone would know what I endured.
“What an incredible disaster,” Great-uncle Richard muttered as he stood up. “What’s that saying Americans love? You can choose your friends but not your relatives?”
“Exactly how I feel too,” I said and walked out first, heading for my room and my private time to mourn Grandmother Hudson. Somehow, I knew when I had waved good-bye to her that day I left for England that I was waving good-bye forever. I think she knew it too. I think that was why there were tears in her eyes. She was too confident about herself and her future to cry at partings. She was that sad only because she knew she would never see me again.
I didn’t have to call the school to ask Mr. MacWaine to meet Roy. As
soon as I didn’t appear, he went looking for me and found Mr. MacWaine himself and learned the news. Immediately thereafter, he appeared at the Endfields’ doorway. I had completed my packing when I heard Leo’s distinctive limp resounding in the hallway.
“Your brother is here,” he told me when I peered out my door.
“Thank you, Leo. Why didn’t you just send him back?”
“Mr. Endfield asked that I fetch you,” he said. He looked embarrassed. “I’m sorry. The young man is waiting outside.”
“He wouldn’t let him in?”
Leo didn’t respond. He didn’t have to. I charged up the hallway to the front of the house. My great-uncle was in his office on the telephone continuing his preparations for a sudden departure. He glared at me and then turned his back as he continued talking on the phone.
Fuming, I practically lunged at the front door. Roy was standing in front, his hat in hand. He looked up expectantly when I appeared.
“I’m sorry, Roy. They pride themselves on being so polite and decent when the real truth is they’re the cruelest, meanest . . .” I glared back at the house. If my eyes were cannons, the building would be blown away. “They’re horrified now that they’ve learned I’m related to them. Grandmother Hudson was right about them. They’re afraid their precious reputations might be damaged. They should know how terrible I feel about being related to them.”
I folded my arms around myself and kicked a small stone down the driveway.
“What’s this all mean?” he asked, obviously astounded by my display of raw rage.
“I’m going back to Virginia tonight for the funeral and everything. I didn’t get a chance to tell you, but Grandmother Hudson put me in her will. I’m not sure yet what it all means, but one thing is for sure, my mother can’t deny me anymore and pretend I don’t exist. Her husband is going to want to know why I’m an heir and her sister will practically break her neck rushing to tell him and get him to help her get my rights denied.”
“So your Mama’s family still doesn’t know anything about you?”
“Nothing real,” I said.
He shook his head, his face full of concern.
“That’s going to be some funeral, Rain, with a family feuding and arguing right in the middle of all of it. You sure you can handle all that yourself?”
“I’ve got no choice, Roy. If I don’t, I’ll be letting down Grandmother Hudson and giving them,” I added, nodding at the house, “what they’d like. They’d like me to just go away, disappear, pretend I don’t exist. My great-uncle is an expert when it comes to pretending,” I added furiously. Roy didn’t catch onto any innuendo or strange reference.
“Maybe you should just leave, Rain. You can forget them all and return with me to Germany. Lots of guys there are married. They do all right. It isn’t a bad life for now and at least you won’t have to be with a bunch of phonies,” he said.
I looked down, kicking another stone, remaining silent.
“Not a good idea, huh?” he followed.
“I don’t think so, Roy. I still have a few questions to answer about myself.”
“Yeah,” he said, looking off.
“I’ll write you as soon as I know what’s happening,” I promised him.
“You coming back here?”
“Not here,” I said, indicating the house.
“Back to England, though?”
“Maybe. I don’t know yet. It’s like I was riding on a magic carpet for a while and suddenly someone pulled it out from under me and I’m floating down, but down to what, I don’t know.”
“You sure are brave, Rain. I never knew how brave you could be. Someone else in your place would get the best deal and run,” he said.
“I might still do that.”
He stared at me a moment and shook his head.
“I doubt it,” he said and I smiled.
“I’ll miss you, Roy.”
“Will you? Good. Miss me a lot,” he said. “Miss me ‘til it hurts.”
I widened my smile and then he hugged me, kissed my hair and my cheek and put his hat on.
“Guess I’ll just head back early then,” he said. “It’s hit and miss with a ride anyway.”
“What do you mean? I thought you had your travel arrangements all set.”
“I’m hitchhiking,” he told me. “I’ve got to get on an army transport.”
“What would happen if you didn’t? It doesn’t sound like you planned it all too well.”
I fixed my gaze on his eyes and he shifted them away too quickly.
“You had a pass though, didn’t you, Roy? You didn’t just up and come to England now, did you?”
“Sure I had a pass.”
I leered at him and he smiled.
“Maybe I stretched it a bit, but that’s all right.”
“Roy Arnold, you didn’t?”
“I’ll be okay,” he said quickly. “You don’t need anything more to worry about.”
I shook my head.
“Someday, I’ll stop getting everyone who comes into contact with me in trouble.”
“Don’t go blaming yourself for anything, Rain. I’m a big boy and I don’t do what I don’t want.”
“I always knew that, Roy Arnold. Just promise me one thing,” I said.
“What’s that?”
“You won’t follow in Ken’s footsteps. No matter what happens, you’ll never do that.”
“You don’t need to hear me promise, Rain. I’d rather be dead,” he told me.
Neither of us sounded hopeful, however. It was as though a dark, brooding cloud, the one that had followed our family from the beginning, had lowered itself around us, and wave our arms as fast and as hard as we could, we couldn’t move it away. It would always be there.
I rushed forward, kissed him quickly on the lips, and then turned back to the house. He watched me until I stepped inside and closed the door. I took a deep breath and started down the corridor. Great-uncle Richard stepped out of the drawing room as I started by.
“You and your brother must be very close, very close indeed to have such an intense good-bye,” he remarked.
I glanced into the drawing room and realized he had probably been watching us out the front window. Before I could comment, he crossed behind me and headed up the stairs.
“We’ll be leaving in an hour,” he muttered.
“Not soon enough for me,” I whispered back at him.
When I returned to my room, I sat on my bed and tried to catch my breath. It was all happening so fast. Some great force had taken the reins of my Destiny and was driving it headlong in another direction. Where? Why?
My thoughts went to my father and I quickly opened my notebook and began a letter.
Dear. . .
Should I call him who he is? No more lies, no more false faces, I thought
Dear Daddy,
I’m sorry I haven’t gotten back to you sooner. I really appreciated being with your family and meeting my half brother and half sister. They are lovely children, and I know they’ll make you very proud. I was also so happy to meet Leanna. I like her a lot, and I’m sure we would get along just fine.
It was never my plan to rush into anything, even if you wanted me to. Now, all of it has to be placed on hold anyway. I have been given very bad news. Grandmother Hudson has passed away. You never knew her as I did, of course, so I don’t expect you to understand why or how, but she and I did grow very close to each other and I will miss her. She had a great deal of faith in me and she helped me build my self-confidence.
As I told you, she has made me part of her will, and I am returning tonight with my great-aunt and great-uncle to attend the funeral. I don’t know what will happen to me next, but I expect that I will return to England in due time, and I hope then we can get to know each other better and I can become a small part of your life.
Thank you for not denying me, for wanting to know me, for having the courage to acknowledge me. My mother hasn’t yet, but I believe as I am
writing this letter, she is probably breaking the news to her husband and children. She has little choice now, now that Grandmother Hudson’s will is going to be read.
It makes me smile to think about that. I just know Grandmother Hudson is getting her final satisfaction in doing it.
I’ll write you from America first chance I get. Please give my love to Leanna and the children. I’m so sorry so much time has gone by without us ever having met.
Love,
Rain
I folded the letter, addressed an envelope and went out to find Leo. He took it and promised to post it for me first thing in the morning. Mrs. Chester was in the kitchen working, despite the fact that no one was going to sit down to a formal meal. Habit was habit and she went through her motions no matter what occurred. She had no idea why I was leaving, but I wanted to say goodbye to her.
“I’ve come to say good-bye, Mrs. Chester. I haven’t always understood everything you’ve said and done, but I appreciated your efforts to make things easier for me here.”
She put away a bowl and wiped her hands on a dishtowel while she looked at me.
“They ain’t makin’ you go home account of anything I said,” she told me. “Ya been a good worker and a good girl, ya have.”
“No, it has nothing to do with you or this house or anyone,” I said. “I have to go.”
“I’m not one to snoop or tell anyone else what’s to do and what’s not, but you be careful now.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Chester.” I gave her a hug and said, “And look in on Mary Margaret. She needs that.”
Mrs. Chester nodded.
“We all do, dearie. We all do,” she said and returned to her work.
I went back to my room to get my things. After I put on my jacket, I paused in the doorway and looked around the small room. Funny, how a person can get used to almost anything, I thought, even a jail cell like this. I thought about the ghost of Sir Godfrey Rogers’s dead mistress.
“I never saw you or spoke to you,” I said aloud, “but I feel sorry for you if you’re stuck in this house.”
Lightning Strikes Page 29