Eric started up a slower tune. It was smooth and jazzy and he didn’t sing this time. Lacey snuggled herself beside him on the piano bench. I ignored the pang I felt at seeing my old place taken over by someone new. I didn’t want that place back, anyway.
“I love to dance,” Lacey was saying to Eric, “but it’s hard to get Mari to come out with me these days. We should go sometime.”
His voice pitched low, I couldn’t hear his response.
“Ha, no kidding. But Ava never comes,” Lacey said.
“Why is she here?” Eric asked. This he said loud enough for me to hear.
“She just graduated from Juilliard. She’s staying until she can get her own place.”
Whatever Eric replied, he made sure to lower his voice again. Lacey laughed.
My foot swung absently to his tune. I held the book face-level so I wouldn’t have to see Lacey and Eric pressed together on the piano bench. I didn’t matter to Eric anymore, and he wouldn’t matter to me.
Chapter Thirteen
Juilliard had been my escape. Escape from a future I was afraid of, from the regret of my mistake. A way to start fresh. I never would have come home if I had known I’d be living in a twisted version of my old life.
When Eric wasn’t at the studio working on his new album, he was at Charlie’s, testing video games or who knew what else. Charlie and Eric had rekindled their bromance, while I had become the third wheel—unwelcome and unwanted, at least in Eric’s point of view. Sometimes I wondered if he came around just so he could ignore me.
I was relieved when orchestra practice took me away. When it didn’t, I made sure to have other plans—even if those plans were just going down to the beach to read, or today’s girls time at the movies. Avoiding Eric was easier, and preferable, to being in the same room and trying so hard to ignore his existence while he so easily ignored mine.
“Earth to Ava,” Lexi said, waving her hand in front of my face.
“I think I’d rather be somewhere else,” I said, even though I didn’t mean it. The movie theatre was mostly empty, just the four of us, and another couple of girls sitting a few rows down.
Lexi pouted. “I’m hurt.”
Lacey leaned over Mari so she could see me. “You don’t want to see this movie?”
“Sure. It sounds…” I couldn’t even remember what we were seeing.
“It’s going to be great. Look who’s in it!” She leaned back, turning her attention to Mari. “We should have invited Charlie and Eric.”
“Charlie never would have come,” Mari replied. “It’s too much of a chick-flick.”
A man in a baseball cap holding a giant popcorn walked into the theatre all by himself and took a seat near the front. Mari and Lacey giggled.
“Eric would have convinced him,” Lacey said.
Lexi nudged my elbow. I ignored it.
“You should have been there yesterday, Ava,” Mari said. “Eric did the funniest thing. We all went down to the beach and…”
I tuned her out. Mari was always regaling me with the many wonderful aspects of Eric Wentworth. He had taken on godlike status in her mind. She didn’t seem to realize how little I wanted to talk about him. Or see him.
“Lacey just about died,” Mari continued. Lacey nodded her head. “She ran out of the water and—”
“Hey, let me tell this part,” Lacey interrupted.
I cranked up the volume of the Andrew Lloyd Webber song that had been stuck in my head ever since we started practicing it for a Philharmonic performance next month.
“Ava, are you even listening?”
I blinked. “What?”
“Is this weird?” Lacey asked. “Maybe we shouldn’t be talking about it.”
Oh how I wished they wouldn’t.
“I thought you’d be okay with it,” she continued. “Mari told me you would be…” She trailed off when Mari shot her a dirty look.
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
Mari and Lacey exchanged glances. “Lacey and Eric are—” Mari began but Lacey cut in.
“We’re sort of together.”
My throat suddenly felt thick. “Oh.”
Lexi nudged me again.
“You don’t mind, do you?” Lacey asked. “Because it was a long time ago when you two dated but I don’t know if you’re still hung up on him or—”
“No!” I lowered my voice to a normal level. “No, it’s fine. Of course it’s fine. That was like, eight years ago. Ancient history. Just a bit of leftover bad blood working itself out, that’s all.” I grabbed my soda and swigged, hoping to banish the weird lump that had formed in my throat.
Lacey’s face lit up with a huge grin. “You’re the best!”
“See, I told you she’d be okay with it,” Mari said. I grimaced around my straw. “They’ve gone out almost every day this week. Lacey’s in looooove.”
Lacey blushed and giggled. She didn’t deny it.
“So soon?” Lexi asked. She didn’t know Lacey, or the fact that she was the fall hard, fall fast type. I hadn’t heard of one relationship where it had taken her longer than two weeks to hit the L word.
“You haven’t met him,” Lacey said to Lexi. “He’s absolutely perfect.”
Lexi glanced at me.
“He is so sweet,” Lacey continued. “And kind, and funny and…”
I wanted to put the magazine over my face and smother myself so I wouldn’t have to hear anymore. Lexi arched an eyebrow, her lips bunched together to keep from laughing.
“…and his voice! It’s so dreamy!”
Dreamy? Lexi mouthed. I smacked her with my magazine. Lacey was too busy gushing over Eric to notice.
“And those lips! Yum! He’s the best kisser ever.”
My smile died. I could still remember the taste of Eric’s lips, the way his mouth moved with mine. How his hands felt when they caressed my skin. The weight of his body pressing into me. How I used to melt into him.
I pushed those memories away. They were bad news.
“Oh, sorry,” Lacey said. “Too far, right?”
Lexi studied me, her eyebrows lowered. You okay? she mouthed.
I nodded. Eric was dating Lacey. Good for them. We’d moved on from each other ages ago.
But that didn’t stop me from wishing I didn’t have to be around to hear about all of this newfound looooove.
* * * * *
The four of us walked out of the theatre and into the sunshine, simultaneously donning oversize sunglasses against the glare. Lacey was giving us a play-by-play of her favorite parts of the movie.
“That scene where she finally finds out the truth? So amazing!” She absently twirled strands of hair around her fingers. “And then that kiss during the balloon ride. Wow! Maybe I can convince Eric to take me on one.”
Lexi and I glanced at each other.
“That actor was gorgeous,” Mari said. “Who was he again?”
Lexi linked her arm with mine, drawing us behind Lacey and Mari. “Did you like the movie as much as she did?”
I shrugged. “It was okay.”
She gave me a sideways look. “It was cheeseballs.”
I laughed. Lexi was not into romance movies at all. She preferred her movies with a heavy dose of guns and explosions.
“Lacey’s favorite type of movie,” I said. We walked behind Lacey and Mari, and I could still hear her rhapsodizing over the big kiss. “She thinks she’s going to marry a prince one day.” Or she used to, anyway. Maybe she was ready to give up that dream for a popular musician.
Lexi replied with a simple ‘ah,’ as if she now understood everything there was to know about Lacey Musgrove.
“What do you think Eric sees in her?”
I blinked in surprise. “If Lacey’s only fault is that she goes a little bit gaga sometime
s, she’s not going to have any trouble attracting men, Eric included.” Lacey could be a bit overenthusiastic at times, but that only added to her overall charm. “Besides, you don’t even know Eric.” I didn’t even know him anymore.
“But if he was engaged to you—” Lexi stopped as Lacey spun around to face us, whipping Mari with her hair as she did.
“You know what we should do tonight?” Her face was alight with excitement.
“Please don’t say balloon ride,” I said and Lexi snorted.
“Let’s go dancing!” Lacey started wiggling her hips. A couple of teenage boys walking by gawked at her.
Mari held up her phone. “I just texted Charlie. I told him to invite Eric too.”
“Well, I can’t,” Lexi said, “but you girls have fun.” She smirked at me and I shot her a take me with you look. There’s no way I’d go dancing with Eric and Lacey without the support of my best friend.
“That sucks,” Lacey said. “But you’ll come, won’t you, Ava?”
“I—”
“Of course Ava’s coming,” Mari said. “She’s got nothing better to do.”
I pressed my lips together. Mari and Lacey turned back around and headed to the car, the matter settled.
“You going?” Lexi asked me.
“You know I don’t want to.”
“I know.” Her arm still linked with mine, she patted my hand. “But you should. Show Eric that you don’t care who he dates or what he does with his life.”
“But I don’t care.”
“That’s the spirit.”
* * * * *
Later that night I found myself putting on black skinnies, a fitted gray v-neck with studs on the shoulders, and my favorite Jimmy Choo booties. A long necklace and some stacked bangles amped up the simplicity of my outfit. I did my make-up carefully: a light smoky eye, nude lips, a dusting of bronzer. I even straightened my hair and spritzed on my favorite perfume. I couldn’t believe I was going to so much effort to prove to a man that I didn’t care about him anymore.
When the doorbell rang, I was sitting on the living room floor doing a puzzle with Aiden. Charlie answered, I heard a chorus of voices, and a few seconds later, Charlie, Lacey and Eric came in the room.
Eric’s sandy blond hair was tousled in a bed-head way that looked so good I sort of wanted to run my hands through it. He looked classically handsome with his white shirt and dark blue jeans. Not showy, not flashy, just all-together, annoyingly hot. I looked away before he caught me staring.
“Mari’s not ready,” Lacey said to Eric. She had on a tight leather mini skirt and a red blousy tank. Her skin was so shiny it looked like she had bathed in glitter. Eric, his hand on her waist, was giving her an appraising look.
“She takes forever. Settle in, chumps, it’s gonna be a long wait.” Charlie sank onto the couch. He had showered and put on a clean shirt. That’s about the most you could expect from him. Still, his soft brown eyes and boyish smile were enough to make up for the rest.
“I’ll go see if I can hurry her up,” Lacey said and rushed from the room. After a moment’s hesitation, Eric joined Charlie on the couch.
I focused on the puzzle, ignoring Eric and Charlie’s conversation. Landon burst into the room, his two-year-old legs chugging along. He ran right over Aiden’s puzzle on his way to his dad, scattering the pieces across the floor.
Aiden screamed at the top of his lungs but Charlie was too busy trying to get Landon off him to pay attention.
“It’s okay,” I said to Aiden. “We’ll just start again.”
Aiden gathered up the pieces while I flipped them over so they were all facing up. I glanced up to see Eric watching me. The puzzle piece in my hand trembled and I quickly placed it on the floor.
“Did I tell you about the new Wizard Warfare beta?” Charlie asked Eric. “You should come over when I get it in. Landon, get off!”
Landon just giggled as Charlie set him down. He went to jump on his dad again but Charlie shook his head in warning. Searching the room for something new, Landon’s eyes lit up when they saw me sitting on the floor.
Apparently, I made the perfect target. Landon barreled right into me. I grabbed him around the waist to stop him from wrecking the puzzle again. “Landon, do you want to help us with the puzzle?”
While Aiden screamed his dislike of the idea, Landon twisted out of my arms, went behind me, and jumped onto my back. He wrapped his arms around my neck.
I hunched over, trying to loosen his hold. Landon’s giggles echoed in my ear. “Landon, look—it’s Mickey’s eyes! Help me find the rest of him.”
He let go, but instead of going for the puzzle, he jumped on my back again.
“Landon, stop,” I commanded.
Landon ignored me, letting go and jumping for the third time. It had become a game to him. In the background, Charlie gabbed on and on about his video game, also ignoring me. I grit my teeth.
“Landon, you’re hurting me. Please stop.” I bent low over my legs, hoping to shake him off.
His arms loosened from my neck. I turned to see Eric carrying the boy to the window. He spoke to Landon in a low voice and soon Landon started to giggle.
When Eric turned from the window, our eyes met. I mouthed the words, thank you. He looked away.
I lowered my head. My mind was a confused mess, a puzzle I couldn’t sort out in just a few minutes. It wasn’t a big thing Eric had done, but he had still come to my rescue. He could have just enjoyed watching me suffer. Then he treated my thank-you as if it meant nothing. I didn’t understand what he was thinking, but worse, I couldn’t make sense of my own feelings. Being around him again was like learning an exceptionally hard piece of music: every line so impossible that I didn’t even know where to start.
Chapter Fourteen
Eric led us through a back alley, the dark and scary kind you only expect to see in a movie. Against one wall, a dumpster emitted the smell of stale vomit. Mari, Lacey and I, picked our way across the uneven pavement in our heels. Charlie held onto Mari’s arm while Eric clasped Lacey’s hand. I tottered behind them, the lone single, wondering what I was even doing there, how Lexi had convinced me to go.
Through a graffiti-covered back door, then a few dark passageways, we finally made it inside the club. Even though our trek inside had been a bit shady, I pitied the people lined up around the block still waiting their turn to get in.
A techno beat pumped loudly in my ears. I scanned the mass of dancing bodies. I honestly couldn’t tell what made this place special—it looked the same as every other dance club to me. A crowded bar, flashing lights, squashed tables on the balcony. Not really my kind of place.
Lacey immediately pulled Eric onto the dance floor, while Charlie turned to Mari and me. “Let’s find a table,” he shouted.
We wound our way through the thick crowd and up the stairs to the tables, filled with couples making out and people yelling at each other over the noise. Mari found an empty booth and we dropped onto the leather seats.
“Want me to get us some drinks?” Charlie yelled over the music.
“Just water for me,” I said. “Thanks.”
“You’re so lame,” Mari said. She flipped her hair. “A cosmopolitan for me.”
“You watch too much TV,” I said as Charlie headed down to the bar.
“Just because I know what’s hot and you don’t.”
I refrained from pointing out that cosmos probably weren’t all that ‘hot’ anymore. Not that I knew what was.
I scanned the dance floor, landing on Lacey and Eric. They danced, their arms wrapped around each other, bodies moving in perfect motion. Lacey sparkled under the flashing lights. Eric smiled down at her, his hands moving her hips with his. And then he leaned down and kissed her.
My stomach dropped, leaving me hollow. I couldn’t pull my eyes away. Lacey’s hands
gripped his arms while he pulled her closer. When they finally broke apart, they were both smiling. She craned her head and whispered something in his ear. Eric tilted his head back and laughed.
I wrenched my head away, hating myself for feeling jealous. Our relationship had ended eight years ago. If I wasn’t over it now, something was seriously wrong with me.
Charlie returned with the drinks. I guzzled my water, an attempt to keep the sudden feeling of stuffiness away.
“Let’s go dance,” Mari said to Charlie.
“Not now. We’ll lose our table,” he said.
“I’ll stay,” I offered. “You guys go ahead.” I watched Mari steer Charlie to the dance floor, excitement lighting up her features. Charlie looked less enthusiastic.
Alone at the table, I rolled my water bottle between my palms. It was stupid to come. They didn’t need or want me here. I wasn’t proving anything to anyone. I was a place holder, nothing more. Like one of those people who fill in seats for celebrities during award shows.
My toe tapped to one song and then the next, and the next. The music pumped through my veins, my body begged to move. Instead, I sat alone, keeping myself occupied by spinning my half-empty water bottle on the table and not looking down at Eric. I spun a little too vigorously and the bottle wobbled and fell. It rolled off the table and I bent down to pick it up.
Another hand reached out and grabbed the bottle before I could. I looked up.
A man crouched beside me, the strobe lights flickering off his face. He handed me the bottle.
“Thanks,” I said, my fingers grazing his as I took it.
“No problem.” His teeth gleamed unnaturally white in the dim light. I stifled a laugh. It looked like he’d overdosed on Crest Whitestrips.
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