They came to the family grave of Tereska. At the black stone slab were the names of her great-grandparents, grandfather and the latest addition - her grandmother. There was also a symbol inscribed with the name of her father and his presumed date of death - 1940 - below which was only one sentence:
"A place of eternal rest - Katyn".
Where the remains of her previous ancestors lay Tereska did not know exactly. Grandma mentioned something about an old family tomb in a remote end of the palace garden, but it crumbled down a long time ago and the land was ploughed out for farmland by the tractors of the Production Cooperative, which proved to be very little operational so that it was eventually liquefied.
The mansion of Tereska’s family was very old. Grandmother recalled that her family lived there before King Jan Sobieski settled in Wilanow and that they visited the royal balls during the glorious days of the monarchy. One of her ancestors was even in Vienna and participated in the victory of Polish hussars over the army of the Ottoman Empire led by Grand Vizier Kara Mustafa Pasha.
Or maybe it was just a family legend? Time and wars had tarnished traces of history. Grandmother spoke little and the girl’s mother did not want to talk about those times, completely absorbed in building her own career inside the communist party.
Tereska laid the wreath she had brought on the tomb, lit a candle and said a short prayer. Then she pulled on Tomek's sleeve.
"Let's go to him now, " she decided.
They walked to the end of the cemetery and stopped in front of an old board, under which lay Janek. Tereska thought quite differently of him now. He had become to her someone close, like a family member.
"Do you know what happened to him?" asked Tomek.
"I have no idea. Grandmother never talked about him. I hope that we learn about it from the diary."
She fixed the candle on a plate and lit it.
Tom raised from the ground a tree branch and swept away the debris from the grey slab. On the stone surface could be seen, even read, the letters carved many years ago.
First name, last name, date of birth: 15 september1880...
"It's already almost eighty years, " he said.
"Yes, it will be eighty years on September 15th. I wonder what would have happened to me if they had gotten married? I guess I would not be in this world."
"Who knows? Maybe you would, but elsewhere. And maybe we still would have met. It's better not to change anything. Let things be as they are."
At that moment, they heard the flapping of wings and the torch flame flickered and died. Tereska lifted her head, but saw nothing.
"Is this the same bird as back then, in Konstancin?" she asked.
"I do not know. I did not see it then and I still didn’t see it now. It must be damn big and fast."
Tereska lit the wick of the candle again.
"Remember the trees that grew there in that forest?"
"In Konstancin? Birch trees, I think."
"Is it possible that it was the same birch grove?"
"Of Grandma and Janek? Everything is possible. The distance is correct, but I think that there are a lot of such birch groves around. Besides, they may not even be the same birch trees. Birch is probably not so long-lived, is it?"
"I do not know, but it does not matter if the old trees are replaced by new. The forest is still in the same place. Can you get there from memory?"
"I think so. We were planning anyway to find the place if we could."
They returned to Junak, which was waiting patiently by the cemetery gate. After a winter repair, the engine ran like new. In half an hour of driving, they reached the spot they had visited before. Tereska walked thoughtfully through the trees, seized again by a strange anxiety.
"I'm sure it's here," she said. "Yes. I feel the presence of my grandmother."
"After over eighty years? No kidding. Absolutely impossible, not even in a fantasy novel."
"And yet I feel something. Look!" exclaimed she suddenly.
She bent down and picked up something from among the grasses. It was a small gold brooch with a cameo, carved in white ivory on a black onyx background. It was all stained with dried up dirt. Tereska pulled out of her purse a handkerchief and wiped it clean.
"Real gold!" exclaimed an astonished Tomek. "Shines like a new one."
"Looks like it was made the old fashioned way."
"Do you really think it's her? And no one had found it in a hundred years?"
"If it was buried in dirt, it's quite possible, after all. It is not Downtown here. Nobody walks by. Or maybe it was waiting just for us? Maybe it's a sign? Let's go home now; I need to find out what happened next."
Tomek had been silently hoping to find another way of enjoying this place, but he understood that amours had to wait for another occasion.
He kicked the starter and the four-stroke engine of Junak rumbled steadily.
***
In the diary, pages again followed describing school events, everyday life in the dormitory, friendships and hostilities, as it usually went between the girls in such an environment.
From time to time, there was a little mention of a house. For example, a new butler came in place of the late unforgettable Ludwik, accepted with the references of someone. There was news that Brenda was doing great. Daily exercise in the yard kept her in impeccable form. Ludmila could not wait for the end of her school, especially since at the end of the year, a ball was going to be held, jointly with the male private school, so she finally would be able to wear her gorgeous ball gown from Paris, which she had tried so far only in the evenings among her friends. She would have to ask her Mom to bring her something for her neck, since her favorite cameo brooch, which she had received from her parents on her sixteenth birthday had been lost in the birch grove during her last visit there, not turning up in spite of all their efforts.
Tereska and Tomek looked at each other in disbelief. So it was this very place, this secluded birch grove, which was impossible to miss when you were young and in love. It was this place her Grandma and Janek had spent time in when they were so ardent lovers and it seemed like the "magic place" had not lost its power even after such a long time.
Finally - Tomek, who was now a believer, spoke:
"We know it is the same brooch."
The said piece of jewelry was now on the coffee table in front of them, cleaned and polished by Tomek with toothpaste so well that after so many years, it looked like new again.
"How beautiful," said Tereska. "A truly angelic face."
"It is so hard to believe," Tomek remarked. "What a coincidence. Just impossible."
"Impossible things do not exist in this world," Tereska replied. "And if something happened, it's no longer impossible."
She held the brooch religiously, and despite the enormous temptation, did not dare to try it yet.
"It’s not the right time," she said. "First, I have to read this diary to the end."
***
"The awaited holidays have come. Finally, I'm home, among those I love. Well, maybe not all. The new butler Franciszek somehow did not arouse my sympathy. Probably, I still could not get over old Ludwik, or maybe it was because he had red hair. I do not know. Somehow I do not like him. Brenda was pleased to see me and the very next day after my return, I went for a morning walk. Upon my return, a surprise was waiting for me: a carriage from Ratajewice.
This time Michal has arrived with his father. It foreshadowed nothing good, but I pretended to be happy. I had not even seen Janek yet, and here they were, both already imposing themselves on me. Even a beautiful mantle made from precious fur that I got as a gift did not cheer me up, and only the thought of meeting with Janek in the stable, by Brenda’s pen, improved my mood a little. He already knew what was coming and now I had to comfort him. He was so devastated.
"You know what?" I said to him. "Let’s run away. We’ll get on horses and run as far as we can."
But he was too adult for such childishness. He said he w
ould not do any madness that could hurt me. He would rather lose me than make me unhappy. Why is it that men are so hopelessly stupid? They do not know that happiness is located in the heart, not inside the head. It felt as if he was also against me and I felt completely lost.
Christmas Eve came. It was the moment that I feared the most. After giving each other gifts, Michal, who was very touched, took out from the pocket of his black frock coat a satin box and handed it to me. I opened it slowly, knowing well what was inside. What else could it be?
The beauty of the ring I saw inside surpassed all I had seen previously. A large sapphire surrounded by diamonds sparkled wonderfully in the middle of the box. And then, Michal asked my parents for my hand. I did not hear what they answered. For a moment, I stood petrified, whereupon I burst into tears and ran upstairs to my bedroom, leaving the black box on the table. Everyone thought it was out of disbelief at my good fortune, and that I was lying on the bed with my face pressed into the pillow, spasmodically choking tears of joy.”
***
"Yes, it was the most difficult holidays of my life and I just knew there were more like it to come. All my future, my whole life had been decided by my father with the help of my mother. My opinion was not of the slightest importance. If I rose from the Christmas table and shouted - No! No! No! I do not agree, I love another! - Everyone would have thought of me as ridiculous. And if I even hinted that my lover was the son of the administrator, a man of lower status than mine, the ridicule would have added yet indulgent understanding and I do not know which is worse. They would call it the silly infatuation of a schoolgirl and Janek would immediately be thrown outside our estate. His father also and my situation would not change a bit. After all, they know better what is good for me. For me and for the family fortune, and thus also for themselves. Only one thing remained to me: to be silent.
I met up with Janek furtively in the stables, near Brenda's pen, sometimes somewhere in the snowy country. The winter was not a good time to hide our love. Our birch grove buried under snow and there was nowhere that could give us shelter from the frost.
Jack suffered the same anguish as I did. Hunting with Michal, which he could not avoid without arousing suspicion, was painful for him. They still remained friends, but I think in a different way. Michal spoke to him often about his courtship and his plans related to me, but his every word hurt Janek’s anguished heart more and more.
The wedding date was set for next Christmas, when I finished my school. I had one year left to prepare, my last year of relative freedom.
I returned to my school broken and resigned. It was the last year of my education. My friends envied me the ring, my wedding and the planned journey to Venice, yet all I wanted to do was cry."
***
"Poor grandmother," said Tereska. "I do not know what I would have done in her place. What cruel times. How could they treat their own children that way? How could they give away their daughter in marriage without her consent?"
"And to a handsome young earl, who in addition to the title had a huge fortune as well," joked Tomek. "It's really barbaric."
"Easy for you to laugh, because you've never been a girl. No title matters, nor the amount of wealth. The most important thing is what it feels like here," and Tereska put her hand on his left breast.
"Where? Show me." Tom held out his own hand.
"Get off me." Tereska slapped him on the wrist. "I would, however, never have agreed."
"How would you know? Maybe I'm lucky that there is no Count at the hand?"
"You'd better get the hell out of here, or he might show up." She sighed. "That is all for today. I have a lot more to study for tonight. Tomorrow we have exercises on the strength of materials."
And Grandmother Ludmila’s diary went back on the bookshelf. Later, long into the night Tereska could not sleep. She tried to imagine the dilemma of her grandmother, but it was too difficult. How could you force a girl to be married against her feelings? After all, it was no longer the Middle Ages. Immense curiosity burned inside her. What was going to happen? Once or twice even, she reached out her hand to the diary, but her loyalty to Tomek won. She wanted to go together with him through this, especially difficult part of her grandmother’s life.
***
"Ever since I started school, for the first time, I did not want to go home. I prayed that the school year would never finish, that I would always remain here with my girlfriends and I would never grow up. My prayers were not heard or maybe they had been heard, but God decided that the school year should still end. We drove down the same route as always, and again, I had to answer the same questions as I had every year before, and when my mother started talking about my preparations for the wedding, I wished that I would die immediately, but it did not happen.
Only Brenda in the barn could dry my tears for a while.
My family, seeing my melancholy, smiled indulgently.
"It is normal," my mother said. "Before my wedding, I was also confused. I lost my appetite and they had to feed me by force. Otherwise, I would have died of hunger. But it will pass, my child. You'll be happy once you choose Michal."
With my entire force, I restrained myself not to explode. But I did not choose him. No one even bothered to ask me for my opinion.
However, when I tried to think about my situation soberly, I had to admit that I was also lucky. When Count Ratajko, who was a widower after all, visited us for the first time, and when the thought of the real purpose of the visit, first occurred to me, I was not quite sure which one was the candidate, father or son. The Count was not so old, a gray-haired, handsome gentleman of refined manners. With his title, he could surely turn around the heads of most of my school girlfriends.
Meanwhile, the summer was coming to an end. Michal had become an increasingly common, sometimes unexpected guest, in our home, already adopted by everyone (except me) like a family member. I still met Janek from time to time in the birch forest while horse riding - these meetings have never failed but they were not merry meetings. Melancholic sighs escaped from my chest while he generally remained silent, resigned, trying from time to time to cheer me with some jokes.
We avoided, of course, physical displays of affection since I was officially engaged. Sometimes, we simply touched hands with our fingertips. Sometimes, I felt the fleeting brush of his lips on my cheek as a gesture of goodbye. It was not much, but it was a lot. It still gave me some strength. They could take away my freedom. They can put me in a cage, but what is hidden in my heart belongs to me. I will not give it to them.
October came, the month that has forever been etched deeply in my life. My parents went to visit our relatives. I managed to stay in the palace, faking a migraine. I decided that I had to say a proper goodbye to my lover as he deserved. The next such opportunity could no longer happen before my wedding. I went down to the courtyard and from there to the stable, remaining there and caressing Brenda until he came. He was pale and sad as usual, yet when he looked at me, his eyes gleamed.
And then I did something I should have never done. I set a rendezvous to meet him in my bedroom. And, as soon as possible. I told him how to get to my room so that no one should notice. It was supposed to be our farewell forever."
***
"We made love to each other a long time and with passion, and for the first time, not on the grass, but in a real bed, in my bed, which my legally fiancé had not yet shared. We made love not as lovers, but as husband and wife, because we decided to stay that way together in our hearts.
The palace seemed empty, my parents were gone, and service men as always in such cases get buried somewhere in the corners. Did I feel guilty? I do not know because I was not thinking about it. I only knew that even for one second, I did not regret my decision. Tears of happiness ran down my cheeks. He kissed them and also wept. I do not know how long it would have lasted if we had not heard the sound of hooves from the court. Janek hurriedly got dressed, kissed me goodbye and left, wisely guiding himself
to the side corridor.
I still lay dreamy and suddenly sleepy and after a while, I fell asleep. It seemed to me that I heard in my sleep some uproar, some clamor, but everything was completely indifferent to me. I was already in another world."
***
"When I came to my senses finally and went downstairs, I found out something terrible. In our house, a crime had been committed.
The butler Franciszek, lured by the noise, came to my father's office and saw Michal lying on the carpet with a broken head. Above him, with a brass candlestick in his hand, Janek was standing, trembling and pale as death. He did not even try to escape. He simply stood there, moving the terrified look on the faces of the servants, who gathered around as they were alerted by the screams of the butler. Without resistance, he allowed himself to be overpowered. Hastily, the summoned police took him into custody just when I was peacefully sleeping in my room."
***
"That's some story," said Tomek. "A real thriller drama like the ones we see on television. Do you think all of it is true?"
"I think so. Grandma wrote this diary herself. Why would she make it up?"
"I also think so, but it all seems so improbable that I do not know what to believe. Read on. Probably we are close to the end?"
***
"The trial was held in a week. According to the testimony of Janek, when he was walking past my father's office, the door to it was open wide. Michal was lying on the carpet, with a bloodied face. Janek only picked up the candlestick thrown across his body and leaned over to see if Michal was alive.
Nothing more he was able to say. When asked by the judge Surkov what he was doing in the palace during the absence of the owners, he was silent as a grave.
Unconsciously, I jumped up from my place. I wanted to cry out his innocence, but at the same moment, he looked at me with such despair that I sat back on the bench without a word. His eyes were screaming: Nooo!!!
I knew he would not be able to survive if I had covered myself in disgrace because of him. But on the other hand, I also knew that only a miracle could save him. The butler's testimony was devastating: Janek leaning over the body of Michal with the murder weapon in his hand, the bureau drawer of my father open. The lack of any explanation for his presence in the palace during the absence of my parents sealed his fate. Everything seemed clear: Michal, who arrived unexpectedly, entered the palace and caught the thief busy looting the drawers of my father’s desk. Janek, in defense, grabbed the candlestick and…
Candlelight Stories Page 12