“You need to air this place out, man,” Silas says, looking around. “Are you living here or what?”
I shrug. I don’t want to let my brother in on what’s happening with me and Autumn. Right now, it’s still private, between me and her. More or less. And I want to keep it that way for as long as I can. “I’ve been around,” I say, aware that I sound like I’m hedging. “You know.”
Silas laughs and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know,” he says, not saying it out loud, but implying I’m out chasing tail.
Irritation surges through me, and I clench my hands into fists at my side. “Whatever.”
Silas’ eyes widen and he looks me over. “Oh shit,” he says. “You haven’t been around. You’re with someone. Oh my God. There’s a girl. There's a fucking girl.”
I shake my head. “Leave it be, Silas.”
“Shit, there is,” he says. “Holy fucking shit.”
“What’s come up?” I ask, deliberately changing the subject.
Silas clears his throat. “So, I met someone,” he says, shuffling uncomfortably.
“Silas, if you came over here to cry about some girl, I’m going to punch you in the nutsac,” I say. “I need a beer if you’re going to talk about your feelings.”
Silas and I do not have the kind of relationship where we talk about our feelings.
“Screw you, asshole,” he says. “But I’ll take a beer. Thanks for your motherfucking hospitality.”
I crack open two beers and walk back outside with Silas. “This better not be some lame love story.”
Silas takes a long sip of the beer, then points at me with the bottle. “You know, at some point, you’re going to settle down.”
At some point, I think, the beer washing down my throat. Before, I’d have responded with a hearty fuck you and when hell freezes over. But now…
I clear my throat. “Thanks for that sage advice,” I say. “Can we cut the Oprah bullshit? Are you going to tell me your sappy-ass love story? Why are you telling this to me and not Elias?"
“Because he already knows,” Silas says. “He’s met her. And so have you, actually.”
“I’ve met her?” I ask. "What are you talking about?"
“Don’t worry,” he says. “It’s not someone you’ve hooked up with. Which, is actually pretty unbelievable, since you’ve banged pretty much every chick in the county at one point or another.”
“I'm glad to see that love hasn’t affected your stupid sense of humor,” I tell him. “So you came all the way down here to tell me about some girl you’re seeing?”
“No,” he says. “The girl thing is related. To the other stuff.”
The family stuff.
“So are you going to tell me who this chick is, or what?” I ask.
“Tempest.”
“Tempest?” I stare at him blankly, trying to rack my brain to put a face to the name, but failing. You’d think with a name like Tempest, I’d remember her, but I’m coming up short.
“Tempest Wilde,” he says, his brow wrinkled. “Killian was gone when it all happened, I think, but I’m pretty sure you were around then, still in high school. Her parents were grifters. She was only here one summer.”
“Her parents stole all that money from people,” I say. I still can’t place the girl, but then, I didn’t know her. Everyone in town about the family afterward, though, about what a no-good thieving bunch they were. Of course, everyone knew our family was no good, too. “I don’t remember her.”
Silas nods. “You have no reason to,” he says. “But anyway, that’s who I’m seeing -- who I’m with. Fuck, that’s not what I mean. We’re not dating. We’re…together.”
“She’s your girlfriend?” I tease, unable to stifle a grin.
I expect a vehement fuck you in response, but Silas shrugs, and looks down at his feet. “Yeah, man,” he says. “No. Not just that. I’m going to marry her.”
Oh, hell. I can’t do anything to prevent the smile that comes across my face. “Shit. Congratulations,” I say. “I feel like we shouldn’t be drinking beers. I think I have some scotch.”
Silas laughs, the sound light, something I’m not used to hearing from him. “Nah,” he says. “I don’t even know when we’re going to do it. Or how or anything. It’s just, you know, in the future.”
“Well, I'm glad you finally found someone to put up with your bullshit,” I say, joking. Except a pang of jealousy hits me, and I realize that's crazy. Me, jealous of someone choosing the whole ball-and-chain thing?
“So am I,” Silas says quietly. But there’s not a hint of sarcasm in it. He says it wistfully, and I’m glad for him. “Anyway, that’s not what I have to talk to you about. That’s just the background for it.”
Then he explains the whole thing. Tempest isn’t a regular girl. She’s a damn con artist who’s been scamming rich assholes -- people who don’t deserve to live, much less have bathtubs full of cash -- out of their money and giving it to people who deserve it. A Robin Hood thing.
“They were working in Vegas,” Silas explains. “All over, really. But Vegas, recently.”
“And that’s where you hooked up with her again,” I say.
Leave it to Silas to settle down, but not with a regular girl. He has to go and find a damn con artist.
“She’s not trying to scam me,” Silas says, as if he can read my mind. “She’s retired. Well, she’s going to retire.”
“One last job?” I ask, quoting every heist movie I’ve ever seen.
“Yeah, so about that…” Silas’ voice trails off.
“If you say, ‘I have a plan…’,” I start.
Silas grins. “It’s not my plan,” he says. “It’s theirs. But it’s a good one.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Autumn
“You’re glowing,” June says. She pours the contents of a bowl, chunked up apples and cinnamon and sugar, into a pie crust.
“You made that crust yourself, didn’t you?” I ask, avoiding the question. I’m lying on my stomach on the floor in June’s kitchen, tinkering with a racetrack of little Stan’s, so he and Olivia can send their toy cars speeding around the track again and again.
“I did,” June says. “Which has zero to do with what I was just asking you, you know. I want the dirt.”
“I can’t give you the dirt,” I say, handing Olivia a car and watching her race it down the repaired track. I pull myself off the floor and onto a barstool at the island in the middle of June’s kitchen. “It’s not fit for little ears. I’ll dish later. Am I the only one around here who isn’t basically a chef?”
June points her wooden spoon at me. “I’ve offered to teach you, missy,” she says. “And you know I’m dirt-deprived. You’d better make good on that promise. As soon as Cade gets here and can watch the little ones, I want to know all the gory details.”
“Not gory,” I say, laughing. “Juicy, but not gory.”
“Wait, what did you mean, everyone is basically a chef?” she asks. I watch her layer a piece of dough onto a pile of apples that looks much too large to fit in the pan, her hands flying as she crimps the edges. She looks up at me. “Does he cook? Has he cooked for you?”
“He cooks,” I say. I can feel myself grinning stupidly, like a complete idiot, but I'm happy. More than happy. I feel good, really good. “He’s cooked for me. Really well.”
June makes little slices in the top of the pie before adding decorative pieces of dough to the top, little leaves. Of course she has an infant and a toddler and runs a bed and breakfast and adds decorative leaves to the top of her homemade apple pie. If she hadn’t become the closest thing I had to a best friend in this town over the past two years, I’d totally hate her.
She raises her eyebrows. “It looks like cooking isn’t the only thing he’s good at,” she says, the corners of her mouth turned up.
I suppress a giggle that seems to rise up involuntarily from my throat. “No,” I agree. “Cooking is definitely not the only thing he’s good at.”
She slides the pie into the oven, and turns back to me. “What are they teaching these young boys now?”
Heat rises to my cheeks, and I know I’m flushing.
Images flash in my mind, one right after the other – Luke’s mouth on my breast, his tongue swirling around my nipple.
Me straddling his face, lying across his body, my lips wrapped around his cock.
Luke, lying naked in my bed, his body stretched out, his head on my pillow, explaining how to cook a soufflé, just before I slide my hand down his body, wrap it around his cock, and he suddenly stops talking.
“Wow, you are really smitten,” June says.
“What?”
“What, says the woman staring off into space at the mere mention of her boyfriend?”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I say, shaking off the images in my head, still distracted by thoughts of Luke. I can’t exactly help it. He’s an incredible distraction.
June smiles, her head cocked to the side. “You sure about that?” she asks. “Because you’re awfully smitten for a fling. And you’re not seeing anyone else.”
“I’m not smitten,” I insist, popping another apple slice into my mouth. Olivia wanders over and demands an apple piece, then little Stan follows suit, and I grab cheese sticks from the refrigerator to go with the apples. “Here you go, guys. Snack time. Smitten is for, like, sixteen-year-old girls. Not women my age.”
“Smitten,” June says, shrugging. “It’s the most accurate way I can think of to describe your current state, what with all the daydreaming and mooning about.”
I toss and apple slice at her and she laughs. “Mooning about,” I say. “Now you just sound like a grumpy old lady.”
“I am a grumpy old lady,” she says.
“You guys are talking about mooning?” Cade walks into the kitchen and heads straight for June, planting a kiss on her forehead and squeezing her ass at the same time. Stan and Olivia run headlong for Cade, crashing into his legs, and Cade scoops them up in his arms. “Have you been helping cook? It smells like apple pie in here.”
Cade sets the kids back down to play, and they’re off, running into the living room, Stan dragging Olivia behind him, the cars immediately forgotten.
“In the oven,” June says, as Cade turns on the coffee pot. “I swear, you’re going to die at an early age, drinking that at this time of day.”
“I’m already far too old to die at an early age,” he says, as he scoops coffee grounds into a fresh filter. “And this old man got worn into the ground, getting up with the baby last night.” He starts the coffee, and walks behind June, sliding his arms around her.
“He let me sleep all night,” June says. “Nine whole hours.”
“I thought you looked refreshed,” I note.
“I’m not the only one looking refreshed,” June says, eyeballing me.
“Is this a conversation I want to be part of?” Cade asks.
“No,” I say immediately.
“I thought so,” he says. “Where’s the little minion who kept me up all night?”
“Keep your voice down,” June says. “She’s sleeping. Like a log.”
“She’s a vampire baby, I swear. Sleeps all day, up all night,” Cade says. “Why don’t I go watch the other hellions so you can have this conversation I shouldn’t be a part of?”
“See how nice he’s being?” June asks. “It’s all an act, just to get pie.”
Cade snorts, slapping June on the ass as he turns to pour himself a cup of coffee. “Don’t let her fool you,” he says. “It’s no act. I’m nice all the damn time. This is a prime specimen, right here. Grade-A husband material.”
“Get out and leave us alone,” June says. “Since I’m cooking for you and everything. Make sure the children don’t destroy the living room.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Cade waves at her as he leaves, coffee cup in hand. “I’m requesting steak for dinner, though.”
“What about you guys?” June asks. “Are you staying for dinner, or do you have other plans?” She practically leers, wiggling her eyebrows when she says other plans.
“I think Luke and I are… I think he’s cooking for me again,” I say, as she laughs.
“Cooking. Oh? Is that what they’re calling it these days?”
“Shut up.”
“Everyone’s in the living room, so now’s the time,” she says. “Spill it. He’s hot, isn’t he? The sex is totally amazing, and you’re doing it like bunnies, and he has a big –“
My phone goes off in my purse, and June laughs.
“Saved by the bell,” I say.
“Is that your phone or your vi –“
“Oh my God, you think I carry a vibrator in my purse?” I whisper, pulling out the phone and sticking my tongue out at her. I slide my finger across the screen. One text, from Luke.
Can’t make it tonight. Something’s come up. Call me.
“Is that from him?” June asks. “It’s he sending you love notes? That’s so adorable.”
I roll my eyes and slide my phone back into my purse. “He’s not sending me love notes,” I say, sighing loudly. “And yeah, we’re staying for dinner.”
June’s brow furrows. “Anything wrong?”
“I’m not sure.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Luke
I glance in my rear view mirror at the empty road, then reach between my legs for the cell phone I’ve wedged in there. Sliding my finger across the screen for the millionth time since I've been on the road, I verify that there's no signal. But I knew that already.
I called Elias after leaving Silas’ place. He’s in Hollywood, with his girl -- River Andrews, a big-time movie star. They're at some awards show tonight; when I called, there were people around, stylists or something. I told him I’d look for him on television so I could see how stupid he looked in a monkey suit. He called me an asshole and told me he’d try to flip me the bird if he could.
I'd tried to call Autumn again before I left, but it went to voicemail. I left a second stupid message – terse, short, not at all what I wanted to say.
What the hell do I want to say to her?
I’m the guy who fucks bimbos with bit tits and small brains, girls who don’t ask for anything more than a good time and no damn conversation. I’m the guy whose idea of commitment is a second beer. I’m not the guy who’s cooking dinner for some girl, playing with her kid, not wanting to leave in the morning after I fuck her senseless all night.
Every day I keep going with Autumn is another day playing this charade. At some point, I’m going to break her fucking heart. And I don’t want to be that asshole.
I don’t know if I can be still.
I’m afraid I can’t stay still. I can’t give her what she needs.
She deserves more than me.
Fuck, this is goddamn depressing, driving down a deserted road in a truck, with just my thoughts for company. Time to think is never good, not in my books, anyway. It’s one of the things I appreciate about smoke jumping – or base jumping, rock climbing, snow boarding, hell, anything that floods your system with adrenaline the way that shit does.
Take smoke jumping, for instance. You jump out of a fucking plane, gear strapped to your ass, and it’s just you and fate. Yeah, you’ve got skill and your gear and all that bullshit, but anything can go wrong. It’s a dice roll.
And when you’re in the air, freefalling, it’s like white noise.
Pure adrenaline.
Everything in the world turns off, and you don’t think.
It’s the same thing when you’re in a fire. All the sounds – trees groaning, cracking under their own weight, falling to the ground with an earth-shattering thud, the roar of the fire… All you care about is the seconds in front of you, and nothing else. You’re not thinking about past or present or future bullshit.
When I left West Bend and got my first taste of that –the way my mind turned off, unburdened with all my family bullshit, worrying about my brothers – I
knew I was hooked. On all of it – jumping, climbing, boarding, surfing, whatever ate up my focus completely and entirely.
Driving is the exact opposite of that.
I pull out my phone, slide my finger across the screen, as if something different is going to happen this time.
No signal.
Screw Silas and all of this.
Conflicted. I think that’s what the shrinks call this shit. I have conflicted fucking feelings about her death.
I was more than interested in her death before I read that bullshit in her diary, about killing the old man for money. Money, of all things. It’s not like we grew up with money and then lost it somehow. We never had any, our whole lives. She never had any. So when the hell did money become so damn important?
So I don’t know why I’m crawling along this windy road up the side of the mountain, way the hell outside of West Bend. It’s colder as the elevation increases, the trees up here bare of leaves. I don’t know where this cabin is, but it’s cold enough here that there’s probably snow on the ground at the top. Normally, I’d be pleased about the fact that snow weather is coming soon. That means snow boarding. And snow bunnies.
Except now, all I’m thinking about is the fact that I’m driving my ass up the mountain, in the damn cold, while Autumn and Olivia are hanging out in their warm house, without me.
I don’t like it.
I don’t like that I don’t like being away from them.
This whole thing is making me edgy as hell.
I check the paper again, holding it against my steering wheel as I squint to look at my crude drawing of Silas’ directions. If it were anyone but one of my brothers asking me to meet him and whoever the hell else up here in the middle of nowhere, I’d tell them they were fucking crazy.
But it’s Silas.
So I’m driving up to a remote cabin to meet him and his con artist girlfriend. And her team.
Isn’t that some shit?
When I finally find it, everyone is already there.
“Is this the twin?” A nerdy-looking dude yells from across the room before I even get a word out.
“We’re just brothers.” I look at Silas and roll my eyes. “I hope we don’t look that much alike. I’d hate having to look at your ugly mug in the mirror every day.”
Luke: A West Bend Saints Romance Page 15