by Tim Marquitz
The wounded critters howled and screamed and stumbled about on the slippery floors, the puddles beneath them growing fast. Those who avoided the blast, or were wounded less gravely, struggled past their injured and dead companions and renewed their charge as best they could. Feeling generous, I rewarded them with bullets.
More tired from my magic act than I would have expected, I moved back and picked my shots to give me time to recover some. My ammunition just as effective on lycanthropes as it is on angels or demons, I put a bullet into the head of every wolf that got within clawing distance. They dropped fast. Unfortunately, the clip emptied even faster.
As I ejected the first and reached for another, there was a loud crash to the left, and just behind me. Instinct took over and I leapt to the side...right into the statue of the Virgin Mary that had been swung at me like a baseball bat.
Stupid instinct.
The marble statue crashed into my face and chest and I heard all sorts of things crack and pop—most of them probably belonged to me. The world went white and I felt a second, dull thud, followed by a third as my head went from a full gallop to a lazy trot. Something warm and wet spilled down my face and into my throat, choking me.
Gagging, my already opened eyes reengaged somewhat, I realized I was on the other side of the room from where I was just a moment ago. Grawwl trundled toward me, surrounded by a bunch of bloody and pissed off looking werewolves. Nothing left of his makeshift bat but the legs, he tossed the remnants of Mary aside. There was a merciless grin on his snout.
Suddenly remembering the Wonder Twins, I looked for Katon and saw him just past Grawwl, being borne down by a dozen lycanthropes. A whirlwind of teeth and sharpened claws tore at him as he was hauled to the ground. He was making them pay for it but he wasn’t winning. Every blow was answered in stereo, and then some.
Nearby lay Scarlett, her blond hair dyed red from spattered claret. She lay on her back with a pile of critters pinning her down. Her one free arm lashed out vicious, but it wasn’t more than a few seconds before the werewolves got a hold of it, her resistance drowned in a furry wave of violence.
My heart pounding to the rhythm of an early 80’s Slayer song, I hopped to my feet to go to her. At least that’s what I told my body to do.
What really happened was I twitched and fell over onto my side in what amounted to slow motion. The broken shards of the statue embedded in my face were ground in deeper as my cheek smacked the ground. It was a little unpleasant.
While my face stung and my skull throbbed like I’d been out all night with the boys, and it was a little hard to breathe, I really didn’t hurt too much. All that being pretty minor considering the shit I’ve been through, I couldn’t figure out why I was having such a hard time getting up. Nothing made sense.
I raised myself up with the one arm that would still somewhat listen and took a second to survey the damage. Interestingly, I was looking down over my left shoulder and could see my ass sprawled out kind of Playboy-esque behind me. A bit disconcerted, I turned my head and bolts of lightning shot through my eyes, obscuring the world in a sudden flurry of snow. My head filled with static, the white noise between radio stations. When it finally cleared, I was laying on the ground, my hand twitching under me like Pee Wee Herman’s in a dark theater.
Without moving my head, I pieced together the images that were flooding into the murky swimming pools of my eyes. Though I recognized what I saw, it still didn’t make any sense. Flat on my stomach, I was able to look past my shoulder blades and watch over my heels as Grawwl came stomping towards me. It was really quite disconcerting.
That’s when it clicked. My neck was broken.
I like to think I’m a pretty tough guy. Busted into more pieces over the years than most modern mathematicians can count, I’d seen just about every injury imaginable. No matter how many broken bones, punctured lungs, or exploded rectums I’ve experienced—you don’t want to know—there’s nothing that says helpless quite like a broken neck or spine.
You can fight through the rest, drag a shattered leg behind you, shove a roll of toilet paper up your ass, but there’s not shit you can do when the drive shaft is broken. You just flop about like a landed fish until things knit back into place.
As a demon, I was fortunate; it’d happen after a while as it hadn’t been a magical weapon that hit me, all dogma aside. Though from the snarky look on Grawwl’s face, I wasn’t gonna have that kind of time.
“Aaaaaah, the poor little mutt fell down. Ooh, that looks painful.” A snide laughed grumbled from him.
He hovered over me, his eyes glistening with the kind of excitement you only saw at Christmas and in the prison shower. I tried to tell him where to go, but my inner GPS must have been on the fritz; I only blew a spit bubble.
Grawwl chuckled as the bubble popped and cold spit splattered across my face.
“You look like you’re having a real hard time. Here, let me help.”
His massive paws reached for me and I screamed, but I don’t think anyone but the voices in my head heard me. Though in their defense, they’re usually more helpful getting me into trouble than out.
Undeterred, he sniggered as he latched onto my skull, his claws clacking together as they settled into position. Then one good twist later, WWII was reenacted in the span of an instant within the confines of my head. In that instant, my consciousness disappeared like the concept of French pride.
Poof.
Chapter Twelve
Through the blackness, which pressed down on me more uncomfortably than a Tyler Perry marathon, I became aware of a steady, whooshing breeze that blew against my tingling face. It carried with it a fetid stench, which brought to mind chicken gizzards dipped in unwashed ass.
The stink invaded my nose and settled in my throat as though I were a porn shoot fluffer. Choked into a full and painful consciousness, I opened my eyes to see Grawwl’s wet snout just inches from my face.
“Guess that answers the question of where bears shit.”
My eyes watering, I didn’t dare move my head for fear of the pain that’d accompany it. Through my peripheral vision, I could see my crotch was once more in its proper position with respect to the rest of me, and that was a good thing. I still felt nastier than a used tampon though.
Grawwl grumbled and leaned back, his paws on his hips as though posing for an anthropomorphic calendar. The worst part was that he wasn’t a Ken werebear, he was a fully developed fuzzbucket who happened to be in frightening proportion. The furry thing was jiggling about like a cat toy as he laughed and I was feeling rather self-conscious, not to mention a little inadequate.
“Welcome back. Feeling better?” He stepped away and I had to admit I was as the chapel came into view once more, sans bear penis.
A ways behind him sat Scarlett and Katon, their arms and legs trussed up mummy-like. They’d been beaten ugly, blood leaking from between the ropes. Both of their faces were puffy and battered and their eyes were almost invisible behind swollen, black eyelids. I could feel the little daggers of their gazes as they glared at me through the tiny slits. Something fun must have happened while I was out.
“It’s nothing personal, mutt, but I can’t seem to get any answers out of your friends, so it’s your turn in the hot seat.”
I think I whimpered, though I won’t swear to it. “If you wanted to play Trivial Pursuit, all you had to do was ask. How’s next Friday sound?”
He grinned vicious and moved in close once more, the rancid stink of his breath washing over me again. “I don’t have time for this, demon. Where is Eve?”
Right then, the circular train of illogic rolled into the station once more. His reddish-orange eyes pulsing right in front of me, I just couldn’t make any sense of his need for the key or why he would be working with vampires to get it. Neither race had a stake in Heaven now that God was gone. Their lives wouldn’t be benefited or harmed should The Kingdom fall. Then what Longinus had told me wiggled to the fore.
That�
�s when it all came together like a bukkake birthday cake.
“I’m not telling.” My chin stuck out as far as my wobbly neck would allow, I told him where he could go; detailed directions followed.
Grawwl roared and stomped over to Scarlett, lifting her into the air by her throat. She clenched her jaw and snarled at him through gnashed teeth, but I could see fear in the slivers of her eyes.
Dying in battle was one thing. It was part and parcel of the supernatural world we inhabited. Being torn limb from limb, or worse, while tied up and helpless was an entirely different kind of death to face. There really wasn’t any way to take that with dignity or honor.
“Tell me or I’ll start tearing pieces off.” His massive claws settled on her breast, their points making tiny indentations in her shirt. Tiny dots of blood welled up underneath.
My stomach seized and filled with weighty bricks of disgust as I made up my mind to stay the course. While I would forever regret—forever likely only gonna last a few seconds—being the cause of Scarlett’s death, the alternative would be far worse.
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Scarlett. I can’t give it to him. If he gets the key, not only is Heaven lost, but all of humanity will end up laid out on a dinner plate for him and his bloodsucking, asshole vampire buddies. No offense, Katon.”
Grawwl stomped his foot and tightened his grip on Scarlett. Her eyes bulged from her face. “Do you think I’m bluffing?”
Fighting the urge to shake my head, I met the fury of his gaze, doing my best not to look at Scarlett dangling in his paw. “I have no doubt whatsoever that you’re telling the truth. For the humans to stand any chance of making it out of all this in relatively one piece, you can’t have it.”
The muscles of his arm flexed beneath his fur and I narrowed my eyes to keep from seeing my cousin used as a scratching post. Katon cried out, his wordless scream pure murderous rage. Grawwl screamed back and slammed Scarlett into the floor. There was a moist cracking sound and she lay there in a heap, unmoving. Blood began to pool around her head.
A pitiful groan slipped from Katon as he struggled to get up. A number of the werewolves piled on and held him in place.
Grawwl, foaming spittle dripping from his maw, dropped to all fours and barreled to a stop right in front of me. Our noses touched. “When I’m done with you, you’re going to wish you were dead.”
I met his stare without flinching. I’d like to think it was because I was brave, but being mostly paralyzed helped. “I’m already dead. All of us are.” My eyes flitted toward Katon and Scarlett. “It took me a while, but I finally figured out why you want the key so badly. It has nothing to do with the Nephilim or Gabriel’s rebellion against the angels. It’s all about the Tree.” The look on his fuzzy face told me I was right. “Take out the Tree of Life and all the angels and demons become mortal. That leaves the vamps and the shifters at the top of the food chain.”
With a rancid huff, Grawwl backed away and dropped down on his haunches. He continued as though I hadn’t spoken. “I know your human friends have it, mutt. You don’t really think I’ll have any problem killing them until I get it, do you?”
“Nope, but it doesn’t matter what you do. By the time you find Eve, assuming you’ve tracked down Lilith’s rib, which I doubt, it’ll be too late. By then, the storms will have devastated Earth and you along with it.” Pretty much damned no matter what I did, I smiled at Grumpy. It was a gallows smile, empty of any real emotion, but it was the best I could do given the circumstances. “While this might come off as a little defeatist, I’m thinking I’m just gonna hang out and watch the plans of wolf and bear crumble down around us. Got any popcorn?”
At that point, I really didn’t care what happened because the nuts-in-a-bear-trap look on Grawwl’s face made it all worthwhile. No threat he could think of would change my mind and he knew it. Somewhere in the back of my mind, my mother cheered. That made things a little easier to bear, no pun intended.
Grawwl spun and went back to the audience of werewolves who circled around him, gathering close to hear what he had to say. They grumbled and howled as they discussed their plans, until at last the majority of them began to nod. Grawwl turned back to us, his snout pulled back to show his monstrous teeth.
“Before we’re done, everyone you know and love will die.”
“How about you start with me?”
If I hadn’t recognized the voice, I would have thought Barry White had come to rescue us.
Every head in the room—except mine—snapped to see Rahim standing less than twenty feet from us. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see his hands shimmering with red energy that danced along his fingertips. His smile beamed as though he had a miniature lighthouse on his face. He’d gotten the drop on the weres and he loved it.
The werewolves loosed a symphony of guttural howls and leapt toward Rahim. His smile only got wider as he unleashed his magic. The first rabid wave disintegrated just like you’d see in a nuclear war movie, blown backwards in a vaguely humanoid puff of dust. Most of the pack scattered to weather the storm, the second wave bursting into flames before them. The rank stench of burnt fur rose up thick.
All of a sudden, I had a feeling of weightlessness. I glanced down to see the floor beneath me was disappearing, a whirling blue vortex opening in its place. As I started to fall, I saw the same type of portal opening up below Scarlett and Katon. His eyes were wide despite the swelling.
I looked back quickly to see Rahim stumble as his power gave way, his wide grin replaced by an agonized snarl. He’d expended too much energy for his battered body to handle.
The very last thing I saw before my vision turned blue was Grawwl plucking the wizard out of the middle of the howling pack, his dagger-like teeth sinking deep into Rahim’s shoulder.
The closing of the portal silenced Katon’s helpless scream.
Chapter Thirteen
The void swallowed me for two agonizing heartbeats, then Katon’s ragged voice exploded, made even louder by the confined room we were dropped into.
Though I still couldn’t turn my neck to see where we were, the almost overpowering scent of old books made it obvious. We were in Abraham’s office at DRAC. Rachelle, who had violated every security protocol DRAC had by bringing us there, stood in view, leaning against Abraham’s desk. Her moist eyes were locked on something behind me.
“Free me!” Katon shrieked, a razorblade sharpness to his voice. “I have to help Rahim.”
Abraham shushed him, his breath hurried and shallow. Unable to see him, I could only imagine he was freeing the enforcer from the tangle of ropes that held him immobile. After a moment of grunts and swearing complaints, there was a dull thud, then Katon popped into sight, stopping just inches from Rachelle.
“Send me back!” He reached and grabbed her by the arms, stooping so their eyes were aligned. “Please, send me back.”
Pity was draped across her face as she looked down, unwilling to meet his gaze.
“No,” Abraham’s answer was forged in steel.
Katon released Rachelle and spun, the begging sadness transforming into deep-lined rage. “What? How dare you? After all Rahim ha—”
Abraham appeared, silver tears leaking out from beneath his glasses. Fearless in the face of the enforcer’s fury, Abe wrapped his hand around Katon’s neck and pulled him forward until their foreheads thumped together.
“You think me heartless? See for yourself.”
Katon went rigid, the raging glimmer in his eyes melting away into a blank stare. His arms dropped to his sides as Abraham pressed his vision into his mind. Katon’s hands opened and closed spasmodically, then they went limp. His shoulders slumped as his resistance gave way with a whispered sigh.
“Do you understand now? He sacrificed himself so that you would live. He would have it no other way.”
A quiet sob slipped from Katon, so horribly pitiful I felt my eyes moistening in sympathy. He collapsed into Abraham’s arms. The old man held him close as Ka
ton broke down. Tremors racked his body so violently that Abe struggled to keep them on their feet. They swayed in each others arms in the dance of sorrow.
I couldn’t watch it. Unable to turn away, I closed my eyes and thought of porn.
It makes me happy, all right?
Some people think of home, others of their loved ones or a song that always makes them smile. Me, I think about boobs. It’s a primal thing encoded in male demon DNA, so don’t judge me.
After a while, Katon composed himself and I dared to open my eyes. He separated from Abraham and squeezed the old man’s shoulder before looking over at Scarlett. Already emotionally battered, I could see the guilt on his face as he realized he’d been so caught up in mourning Rahim that he’d left her tied up, unconscious, and bleeding on the floor.