Rusty Knob

by Erica Chilson

  “Thank ya kindly, kid.” Smithers turns, leaving his team behind as he walks out of the gymnasium. Nichols and Danvers follow after him.

  “Is he a drunk?” I grumble, judging the asshole.

  “Nah,” Francis replies, finally hopping off my lap. I rub my thigh– it was falling asleep. Francis may be rainbows and glitter but he’s full-grown. “Smithers is a good dude. Men bond over beer, I guess.”

  “Yeah, my daddy celebrated everything with beer. He used to put it in my baby bottle.” I flinch, realizing what spilled out against my will. “I guess since I’m in charge of you bastards, I better go introduce us.”

  I’m met halfway by Furrow Creek’s and Hillock Corners’ point guards. We eyeball each other for a moment, determining who’s in charge.

  “Wynn Gillette,” I say as I hold my hand out for a shake, waiting to see who’s going to go first. I remember the tall kid with the bad acne from Furrow Creek. He’s a piss-poor point guard. He can’t dribble, pass, or shoot the ball for shit, and should be benched. He glares down at my hand, and then walks around me to greet my team that’s standing at my back.

  “Colton’s a homophobic prick,” Tyler Ross barks out as his hand slips into mine. I glance over my shoulder to see Colton giving Franny a wide berth, but he engages with the rest of my boys. “Nice seeing ya again, Wynn. You always seem to whip my team’s ass on the court. It’s a good thing I don’t have an ego.”

  “Shit, man.” I huff a laugh. “I remember you, all right. You run dang good offensive plays. As for defense?” I rub the phantom pain in the center of my chest. “Elbow jab to the solar plexus, if I remember right.” I laugh a bit, remembering how pissed I was when no foul was called. “Ref must have blinked.”

  “Yeah, and you still made the shot.” Tyler sounds a bit awed, and I decide on the spot that I like the tall, lanky guy. “This strategy is going to be epic.”

  “Epic failure,” I say with a laugh. “I’d say it was my coach’s idea, but he’s an imbecile. The only reason we do okay is because he runs us to death. I’m guessing it was your coach’s idea. He seems like he has the brains but not the power to make you guys work for it.”

  “Damn straight, skippy.” Tyler winks at me, like he knows all my secrets. He pulls his cellphone from his pocket, looks at the screen, and then pins me with the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. “Wynn, it’s only four o’clock, and I’ve got five hours to burn. What’s fun to do around here?”

  “Not much,” I grunt. “It’s why everyone is either drunk or high, or screwing their brains out.”

  “Wynn Gillette doesn’t do any of those things,” Tyler proves he has my number. “So, what does the elusive Rusty West do for fun? The group’s been a bit chaotic without your input lately. Where have you been?”

  “I see we aren’t going to pretend we don’t belong to the group, eh?” I lift my eyebrow in Tyler’s direction, and the brat mimics me. Chuckling, I shove against his shoulder. “Dumbass.”

  “I get them waxed once a month.” Pink tongue flicking out, Tyler licks two fingertips, makes a nasty gesture with his tongue and V-shaped fingers, and then smooths his eyebrows. “It arches higher this way. Gotta look like a badass.”

  “I’m all natural,” spills from my lips for some reason, causing Tyler to check me out. Feeling ballsy all of the sudden, I do the same thing.

  Challenge accepted.

  I run my eyes from Tyler’s faded blue Chucks, his jeans with the knees blown out, over his Tootsie Pop t-shirt– How many licks does it take? Tyler’s hair swings against his jawline, and the scruffy blond stubble on his chin looks soft.

  “How many licks does it take?” comes out of my mouth, and I wonder who’s speaking for me.

  Tyler looks a bit thrown, but he grins. “For you?” I nod like I have this flirting shit figured out. “I’d probably be creaming before the first one.”

  “Jesus.” The visual slams into me, stalling the breath in my lungs and causing my pants to get too tight.

  “Quit eye-fucking each other,” Bren breaks in, arm hooking around my neck. “At least postpone it until we’re out of an enclosed space filled with hillbilly homophobes.”

  Tyler turns his face away, but not before I notice the blush creeping up his cheeks. “Shit,” he hisses, voice quivering. “You’re right. These assholes wouldn’t listen to Josh Truman after he came out. They beat the fuck out of him the night before he took off for Rhode Island.”

  “How is that scumbag doing?” Bren snarls, still sore. “Is he enjoying getting his pucker stretched by Brown’s freshman class?” I put my hand on Bren’s chest to shut him up, because Tyler looks miserable right now, and I don’t like it.

  “Josh,” Tyler’s voice breaks. “He’s doing better. I… um… it was my fault he outed everyone. I wouldn’t come out, so he was throwing a tantrum.”

  Bren starts to go into gossip mode, so I stop him in his tracks. “What are we doing tonight? Remember, our curfew was extended?”

  “You!” Bren shouts, pointing at Tyler. “We’ll be driving your ass home tonight.” Tyler and I both go to ask why, but Bren cups his mouth with his palms, and then bellows. “PIZZA! If you know how to dribble a ball, free pizza! Follow me, faggots!”

  “Slurs, really?” Jack shouts into my ear over the sound of forty idiots losing their shit. There’s a bottleneck at the doors as they all try to charge through, having no clue where they’re going. I point at Duane so he’ll show them the way to Calhan’s Pizza Barn.

  “Hey, Duncan!” Bren shouts back, and then he’s mouthing the words. “I can use it since I love dick, but they don’t know that. They think I’m being a good ol’ boy, and that’s how you protect your ass.”

  “I’m moving,” Jack grumbles, and it has Francis offering, “You can come with me. I’m leaving and never looking back the minute the ink is dry on my diploma.”

  “I’m staying,” I admit for the first time. “Y’all better write.”

  “You know damn well I ain’t going anywhere,” Jack shouts, and then he jogs out the doors, leaving us behind.

  “What crawled up his ass and died?” Bren’s oblivious.

  “The fact you like pussy, I suspect,” Tyler pitches in after seeing Bren and Jack interact for all of two minutes. “I’m curious… what’s the pizza place gonna think when we invade and don’t pay.”

  “Since I’m buying, they’ll probably be jumping for joy. Least this month they’ll make rent on the building.” Bren speaks to Tyler like they’re old buddies, and I don’t bother putting in my two cents. I’ve been inputting all of Royce’s invoices into QuickBooks, so I know the score.

  “Dad’s way too forgiving, but it’s sweet,” Bren prattles off. “As long as I’m buying something from town for a good reason, he’s all for it. So we’ll be eating a lot of pizza after practice from here on out.”

  Cute Little Assholes

  “I can’t take this shit!” Jack shouts as loud as his lungs will allow. “We have to get out of here before I lose my fucking mind.”

  Bren, Jack, Tyler, and I are huddled around a small table in the middle of Calhan’s. It’s standing room only after all the tables were taken. The only reason we have a place to rest our asses is because Bren threatened not to pay if they didn’t give up a table. It wouldn’t be so bad, except that it’s a Friday night and everyone in town is getting takeout.

  “I hate crowds,” Jack’s still blathering. “It’s like they’re swallowing us alive.”

  “Calm your shit, Duncan,” Bren orders. He reaches over to squeeze Jack’s shoulder. “Just close your eyes, and breathe in and out. I already told them to make it to-go. We’ll light a bonfire in the backyard. Okay?”

  “Okay.” Jack does as he was told, closing his eyes and taking even breaths. “I don’t know why I’m like this.”

  “You just are,” Bren says patiently, dealing with Jack in a way that reminds me of how Kade used to manage me. It makes me feel happy for them, but sad at the same time. “Deal
with it, buddy. I’ve got your back.”

  Tyler and I share a look that speaks volumes. How are they so blind? We both shrug at each other and laugh.

  “Have you been accepted anywhere?” I try to make small talk with Tyler as Bren coddles Jack.

  Looking a bit sad, Tyler mutters, “Brown.”

  “Ah, Rhode Island.” My lips quirk up in the corners. “Long distance relationship, or just parting ways until meeting back up?”

  “Josh wants nothing to do with me unless I come out.” Tyler looks away from me, but he keeps speaking. “I’d already been accepted when we broke up… So, where do you go off to next year?”

  “West Virginia U.” I point at Bren and Jack, who are completely ignoring us. “With those idiots.” I mock cheer, “Go Mountaineers!”

  “Basketball?” Tyler raises his manicured eyebrow at my buddies, and I know what he’s asking. It’s like we’ve been friends for ages.

  “Me? Yeah. Them?” Tyler nods. “No fucking way. They suck. Take that from the man who tries to get them to listen to my plays.”

  “I am paying attention, jerkoff,” Bren grumbles. “Some brother you are.”

  “I’m the best big brother you have.” I flash a shit-eating grin.

  “You’re the only big brother Bren has, and he’s not worthy.” Clearly Jack’s still bent out of shape over Bren screwing Trina Sherman last week– all week, and this morning in the janitor’s supply closet.

  “HEY!” Bren shouts all of the sudden, but he’s looking behind me. “Speaking of the fact that I have more than one big brother.”

  Glancing over my shoulder, I mutter, “What the–”

  “Awkward,” Jack drawls out just as my eyes light on Kade.

  Totally involuntary on my part, my entire body betrays me. A shudder rolls up my spine. My eyes become heavy-lidded, and my lips part.

  Kade doesn’t look anywhere else besides me as he makes his way through the crowded restaurant. It’s almost been two months since I’d seen Kade last. I haven’t caught sight of him anywhere. I haven’t spoken to him in person or online. It was torturous. It’s been so long since I’ve connected with those hazel eyes, I don’t know if it feels good or bad to feel the snap engage between us.

  I’ve been proving something to myself and to everyone else. I can make sacrifices and be patient. I’ve been upset with Royce because he doesn’t trust me. I understand how Kade doesn’t trust himself, but his actions scream he doesn’t trust me either. Understanding or not, it makes me feel like shit.

  “Hi,” I breathe, no sound coming out, but Kade hears me anyway. He walks right over to me, places his hand on my shoulder, and then glides his fingertips across the nape of my neck.

  “Hello, groupies,” Kade says cheerfully, as if he’s not wreaking havoc on my entire nervous system. My skin is quivering, trying to get closer to his touch. Such an innocent yet possessive touch is disturbingly erotic to my senses.

  I thought I got hard for Tyler earlier– I thought wrong. I harden so rapidly, my dick physically aches and my nuts swell past the point of discomfort. I try not to whimper as I adjust myself in my seat by pulling at my pant leg.

  “It’s strange seeing you guys mixing together.” Kade glances around, with a fake, strained smile plastered on his face. Every second or so, his fingertips pulse on my neck. “Seventy-five percent of the group is in this pizzeria. Bizarre.”

  “We’re hiding amongst the straight folk,” Tyler mutters sarcastically. His eyes narrow, noting how Kade’s fingers are now absentmindedly running through the back of my hair, and I’m trying my damnedest not to react. I hold my body still, as if I’m formed of ice, when all I want to do is melt into Kade’s touch.

  “Normal people are boring.” Bren flashes us a grin, appearing innocent when he’s reveling in the chaos erupting between Kaden and me.

  “Breeders, always repopulating the earth.” Jack sounds downright belligerent. “The thought of straight sex turns my stomach.”

  Bren flips around, “What the fuck, Duncan? That was a pretty intolerant thing to say.”

  “Sounded like a bitchy, vindictive, jealous thing to me,” Tyler whispers, going unnoticed. “But what do I know?”

  “I hate the words normal, tolerant, awareness, and acceptance,” Kaden enters Mentor KM territory, and it makes me miss him so goddamned much that I almost latch onto him. “I get why people use them, like they’re being helpful. But to tolerate us means we’re wrong– or less than. You don’t have to tolerate me, be aware of me, or accept me as if I’m not a normal human being. It just pisses me off.”

  Kade’s standing next to me, his fingertips biting into the back of my neck, and he’s seething. Everyone at our table is utterly silent as we absorb the gravity of his words. I reach out and wrap my hand around the back of his thigh, and squeeze a few times to center him– I turn into a living, breathing Suicidal Tendencies. Kade exacts the same amount of pressure on the back of my neck in thanks, and then I let my hand fall away.

  “I apologize,” Jack blurts out. “I can’t say I didn’t mean anything by it. I get so fed up with Bren screwing anything with a snatch.”

  “That’s between you and Bren,” Kade stresses. “But if you ever need any advice, you know where to find me.”

  “Okay. Thank you, Mentor–”

  “Eh! What’d I tell you?”

  Jack blushes, turning shy, and we all chuckle because the tension has broken. “Thank you, Kade,” he corrects himself.

  “Wynn?” Kade grips my chin, yanking my head to the side so I’ll have to give him my undivided attention, and my cock almost misfires from the intensity of his gaze. “I didn’t mean we had to avoid each other, or never see one another. You can call me, you can text me, message me. Please,” the word sounds downright pleading. “I’m still your mentor.”

  “I want a friend,” comes out of nowhere. “One who trusts me.”

  “I do trust you.” Kaden tugs the hair at the back of my neck. “Clearly it’s me I don’t trust.”

  “You can trust me enough to know I’d say no,” I bite out, not giving a shit who is witnessing our conversation. “Don’t call me a child, treat me like a child, and then say you want something from me only a man can give. That’s bullshit.”

  Kade’s eyebrows dip low as frustration flashes across his features. “Older. Taller. Stronger. Smarter. Remember? I trust you not to say no to anything I ask, because that’s what makes you feel safe and comforted when you’re around me.”

  “Fine,” I grit out. “I’ll be a kid then. But don’t get pissed if I do something childish that you won’t like.”

  Kaden releases a growl that rolls across my flesh and takes up residence in my dick. I’m not going soft anytime soon. “Teenagers,” he snarls hotly, eyes scorching mine. “Such cute little assholes that make me want to do things only I will regret.”

  I arch a brow at Kade in challenge. “School teacher? Mentor? Teenager hater?”

  “It’s not hate I’m experiencing right now.” Kade’s eyes snap shut, and then he takes a deep breath. “I can only be near you if Royce is with us. This is getting worse.”

  “Wynn turns eighteen a week before Christmas,” Bren turns helpful.

  “Shut up!” Kade snaps. “Stop talking to Warren, Bren. Don’t twist Wynn and me up over some bullshit from six years ago.” He takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. “Besides, legal adult isn’t the issue, so try June at the earliest.”

  “I guess I have eight more months to be a little asshole,” I volley back. For some reason, I’m getting hotter the more frustrated Kade is getting. Payback for turning my offer of friendship into something nasty, and for making me feel like a stalker freak, when all I wanted to do was talk to him.

  “Pizza for Marx!” flows from the back of the restaurant.

  “That’s me!” Kade shouts back, sounding relieved. Turning Jekyll and Hyde, “Well, kids, have a good evening,” he says pleasantly. “Bren? Wynn? I’ll see you at home
for Sunday supper,” and then he strides away, flowing through the mass of bodies.

  “That man is about to pop a nut if he doesn’t get some,” Tyler mutters in awe, and then releases an uncomfortable laugh. “Holy fuck!”

  “That, right there, was nothing,” Bren drawls. “You should have seen how Wynn’s been for the past two months, and Kade’s been insufferable. Dad told Kade to get his ass to Sunday supper for a reason. He made a joke about a stud horse and a mare.”

  “I am not the mare in this scenario,” I grit out while shifting around in my seat, trying to adjust myself. “I get the stud horse feeling, though.”

  “I think Dad thought if you guys saw each other, you’d stop being a miserable prick and settle down.”

  “I’ve apologized,” I whine. “I can’t explain it. It’s like words I’m not even thinking regurgitate out my mouth. I regret it instantly, but I can’t help myself.”

  “You’ve been through a lot,” Jack tries to comfort me. “It’s okay to give yourself a break.”

  “After Josh broke up with me, my mother threatened to murder me in my sleep if I didn’t stop harassing my sister.” Tyler scrunches up his face in remembrance. “Mom’s the Kentwood school board superintendent. She can be scary.”

  “You’re not the only one who’s been acting possessed.” Bren narrows his eyes, staring at Jack. “I think it’s in the water. I feel like we’ve entered The Twilight Zone. Where the fuck did my buddies go?”

  “They left the–” Kade walks by holding a pizza box, and not only do my eyes follow him, my head turns too. “Building…” I slide from my seat, and then say over my shoulder, eyes never leaving Kade’s retreating back. “Listen, if I’m not back in five minutes, save me from myself.”

  Not Wynn Gillette

  I left my mind behind in Calhan’s Pizza Barn with the boys, and I’m acting on pure, animalistic instinct. I don’t know who is walking me outside the building and across the parking lot. My sneakers hit the damp pavement with purpose, and my eyes never leave my destination– Kade’s broad back. I’ve stared so long at the gray and white flannel, I’ll be dreaming of it for decades to come.