by Sherri Hayes
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“Yes, Master.”
“Good,” he said, already moving us both toward the doorway. “We have a stop to make first.”
I would have never guessed this was where we were going in a thousand years. He maneuvered his car into a front parking spot at the DMV. Master seemed to sense the unspoken question of my thoughts and answered, “You need a license. We will just say that yours was lost and get a new one printed.”
He made it all sound so simple, and as it turned out it was. Master walked up to the window with me and handed the woman several pieces of paper. I didn’t see what they were until she gave them back, my birth certificate and a copy of my school records complete with photograph. After that, she asked me a few questions covering my height and weight, had me sign a piece of paper, and took my picture. It took until almost five thirty for everything, but in the end I once again had my driver’s license.
As we got back in his car, I continued to look at the picture staring back at me on the shiny new license. It was me, but yet it wasn’t me.
I knew that didn’t make any sense since it was me, but I seemed different somehow. The picture on my old license had been of a sixteen–and-a-half-year-old girl who, while so happy to be able to drive, was also still dealing with the loss of her mother. This woman looking back at me now lacked the innocence of the other. She could pretend the world was good and wonderful. I could not.
Glancing over at the man sitting beside me, I once again tried to figure out his motives. He was a contradiction that I couldn’t figure out, and I didn’t know that I wanted to anymore. If I was supposed to spend the foreseeable future with him, I would not complain or worry. He was my Master, and I was his slave. I was okay with that.
Stephan
Brianna had slowly begun to relax over the last few days. She still had her moments, but they were becoming less frequent. It was so hard to believe that this was the same broken woman from two weeks ago.
But she was. I had to remember that every single second of every day. Mostly, I tried to keep things predictable for her, and it seemed to help.
I wanted her to trust me, and selfishly I needed some form of physical contact with her. As a result, I’d arranged it so that when we’d talk each night, she would sit in my lap. Amazingly, it seemed to be working. My touch had calmed her in the past when we’d been outside of my home, but now it seemed to have the same effect inside.
However, feeling her on my lap and not acting on my instincts was difficult. I continued to settle for kissing her at the end of each night when what I truly wanted was to explore that body of hers. I knew it was wrong, which was why I had taken to ending every night this week in my shower. My nightly solo sessions were not enough, but they had to be for now. She was still scared of me, and I would not have any sexual relationship we might have be based on that.
As we pulled up to Logan and Lily’s condo, I began to wonder once again how Brianna would react to my best friend. He was usually very good at reading people, so I was hoping he’d find a quick way to make her feel at ease.
I walked to the other side of the vehicle and opened the door for her. She got out slowly, and I knew she was nervous. I lifted her chin to make her look at me, and brushed my lips gently against hers. “These are friends. You do not need to be afraid.”
Brianna nodded and whispered, “Yes, Master.”
I stepped back and guided us inside the building and into the elevator. I pulled her closer to my side as I pressed the button for the top floor. To anyone on the outside, we would look like a normal couple.
The doors opened, and we walked down a short hallway until we reached a door with two decorative steps in front. I knocked, and in less than a minute the door opened revealing a very excited Lily.
Lily was no longer in work clothes but had donned a little black skirt and frilly tank top. She managed to pull off the dressy casual look well, even with her current bare feet.
Before I knew what was happening, she had pulled us both inside with a squeal and enveloped the woman at my side in a hug. Brianna’s reaction was delayed for no more than two seconds before she hugged Lily back, and I released a deep sigh, relaxing just a little more. Maybe tonight would be okay.
We were ushered farther into the house, and we found Logan in the kitchen moving expertly from one dish to the other. He looked up. “Hey, Stephan.” He smiled at me and then shifted his attention to the woman Lily had her arm wrapped around. “And this must be Brianna.” Logan wiped his hands on the towel he had tucked at his waist and came around the island. Extending his hand, he said, “It’s good to finally meet you.”
She didn’t take his hand, but instead looked at me. I nodded, letting her know it was okay. Her hand came up cautiously to shake his.
Logan didn’t hold on for long before moving once again to take his place behind the counter.
There was tension in the room that hadn’t been there moments before, and once again I was worried. I knew she wasn’t good with people, especially new people. It would just take time. But even though I knew this, all I wanted to do was shield her from it.
Lily broke the tension by asking if she could get us something to drink. I told her water would be fine, and she moved behind Logan to get glasses. When she handed our water to us moments later, she asked, “Can I steal Brianna for a while? I want to show her the new dress I bought.” I nodded, and she was off with Brianna in tow.
I could hear Lily rambling on until a door shut in the background. And although I knew she was safe with Lily, I still worried anytime she was out of my sight.
Logan cleared his throat, drawing my attention. I raised my eyebrow, silently telling him to go ahead and say what he had to say. He reached into the oven, took out four beautifully cooked steaks, and set them on the counter. Taking a piece of tin foil, he covered them loosely and then turned back to me. “Lily says she’s doing better.”
“She is. Much better actually.”
He raised his own eyebrow at this and then shook his head. “If that’s really the case, I do hope you know what you’re doing. I know you collared her, but do you really think she’s ever going to get to the point you need her to be?”
For some reason his words lit a fire in me that I didn’t understand. “I will not give up on her, Logan.” He jerked at my tone, and realizing what I’d done, I softened my voice. “There’s no telling what tomorrow might bring or what she’ll want once I tell her she is free should she so choose. Truthfully, that possibility scares me. I know the chances of her wanting to stay with me are not good after what she’s been through. And Logan, it was bad. She hasn’t talked to me about it yet, but just by her reactions to certain things . . . I don’t know if she will ever fully trust me. Or anyone for that matter.”
Logan threw a strainer full of asparagus into a pot of boiling water. “She’s like this all the time?”
I shrugged. “The first few days were worse. She’s a little calmer at home now, more relaxed. But anytime we’re out around people, yes, she’s like this.”
“She drew closer to you when I approached her. And she deferred to you.”
“Brianna is very submissive. Too submissive sometimes. Like I said, when she’s home it’s better, but I think that has a lot to do with the fact that she knows what to expect. I’m trying to keep us in a routine as much as possible.”
“Probably a good idea.”
“Yes.”
“I already know the answer to this, but I’m going to ask it anyway. Are you planning on involving the police?”
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. “No. First, I have no idea how I would explain my involvement without it becoming fodder for the press. And second, I can’t see that helping her. What’s done is done. It would be her word against Ian’s. He would fight, and she would back down.”
Just then, Lily and Brianna re-entered the room. Lily strolled to Logan’s side and asked i
f there was anything she could do to help. He quickly gave her several plates to take to the table.
Brianna came to stand beside me, but kept her head down. I brought a finger up under her chin. “No looking down tonight.” She nodded, and we made our way to our seats.
Dinner was pleasant enough. The food was wonderful, almost as good as Brianna’s, and I said as much. I saw her blush at my compliment, but she refrained from commenting. Logan did ask her some questions, and she answered but didn’t elaborate. Everything she said was to be polite, nothing more.
It was after nine when we arrived home, but I wasn’t ready for bed yet. I wanted to keep our evening ritual and asked her to join me in the chair. She sat down on my lap, folding her hands in front of her as always. I brushed her hair back so that I could see her face. “Did you have a nice time tonight?”
“Yes, Master.”
“What did you think of Logan?”
She hesitated before answering. “He seems nice.”
“But?”
“Nothing, Master.”
“Brianna,” I said in a voice that brooked no argument.
“He’s your friend,” she said. Brianna clamped her lips together but said no more.
“Yes?”
“You said you don’t share,” she whispered.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think that would be what was on her mind.
“Have I ever lied to you?” She shook her head. “Answer me, Brianna.”
“No, Master. You’ve never lied to me.”
“So why do you think I would do so now? Logan is a friend. He is also with Lily. But even if that wasn’t the case, I told you I don’t share, and I meant it. You are my submissive, Brianna. You serve me, no one else.”
My voice was harsh. This was the first time she had truly angered me. I couldn’t believe she was thinking this.
“Please forgive me, Master. I didn’t mean to make you upset. I just . . .” She paused and then said, “I was scared.” She cringed as the words left her mouth.
Suddenly all my anger left me, and I pulled her close, bringing our noses together so she had to look directly into my eyes. She admitted she was scared. This was a huge step.
“You are mine, Brianna. You do not have to fear me or anyone else. Tell me you understand.”
“I understand.”
“Good,” I said. “Now give me a goodnight kiss. I have a long day tomorrow, and I need to get to bed.”
She didn’t hesitate before her mouth covered mine. Her lips moved with more confidence each time as she pressed against me.
When she pulled back, I cupped the back of her head and placed one more soft kiss on her lips before we both got up. I walked her to her bedroom door and pushed her hair back over her shoulders. “Goodnight, Brianna.”
“Goodnight, Master.”
Brianna
Before Master left for work Friday morning, he told me not to worry about dinner that night. He said that he would order a pizza and told me to select a movie for us to watch.
The morning seemed to drag after breakfast. I went upstairs to work out as instructed, and I managed to go through his DVD collection and pick out a movie for later. I drew out making the selection just to have something to do. I’d never been a big television person, and that hadn’t changed. In the end I’d settled on an action film from a few years ago.
At noon, I made myself some lunch in Master’s kitchen. I loved it in there.
After eating, I had nothing left to do with myself, so I sat down and turned on the television. I flipped through the one hundred and two channels, but came up empty. You’d think after ten months of not being allowed to watch television at all that I’d be able to find something that would hold my interest, but that just wasn’t the case. All I wanted was my books. The one thing I couldn’t have.
Sighing, I started again from the beginning, hoping that this time something would catch my eye. But less than halfway through, my cell phone rang. I’d left it on the counter earlier, so I rushed over to answer it thinking it might be Master. It had already rung four times before I picked it up. “Hello?”
“Hey, Brianna,” Lily said in an excited voice.
“Hi, Lily.” My voice was much more subdued.
“Are you busy?”
“No.” I walked back into the living room.
“Great!” she nearly screamed through the phone. “I wanted to ask you what you thought of Logan.”
I felt my nerves beginning to take over, and I tried to stay calm. Did I do something wrong last night? Did Master say something to her? Or did she say something to him?
He seemed all right last night. Well, except for my stupid question. And in a way, it had been stupid. Master was right; he’d never lied to me.
Obviously I’d been quiet for too long, because Lily’s voice came through the line again. “Did you not like him?”
“No,” I said quickly. I pressed my lips together as I considered what to say. Finally I decided to stay consistent. “He was nice.”
“He is nice,” she declared adamantly. “He’s wonderful.” She sighed and then went in a totally different direction. “Stephan said you were going to go back to school.”
“Yeah,” I said, sheepishly. I hadn’t been a big talker before, and now . . .
“So tell me, when do you start?”
She sounded so excited, and it was rubbing off on me a little. “This fall. September.”
“Are you excited? The first two years of college for me were kind of boring, but once I got into the classes for my major it was so much fun.”
“Yes, I’m excited.”
Then she sighed. “You can talk to me, you know. I know things are strange for you right now, but you can trust me, and you can trust Stephan.”
When she said Stephan’s name, my entire body reacted with a weird mixture of fear and something else I really couldn’t name.
“I . . .” I didn’t know what to say. There was no way I could tell her what I was feeling and why. She knew my Master. Worked for him, even. No. I couldn’t share those things with her. I trusted her, but I didn’t trust her, if that made sense. And there I was again, in the state that I seemed to constantly live in: confusion.
Finally, I heard her sigh on the other end. “Okay. I won’t push. Stephan would have my head if I did. But will you promise to call me if you want to talk?”
I heard the pleading in her voice and couldn’t say no. “Yes.”
“Good.” She paused. “Okay, well I’d better get back to work. I’ll see you later, Brianna.”
Lily didn’t wait for me to say goodbye; she just ended the call. I was really glad she hadn’t pushed me. I didn’t think I could say no to her indefinitely, but I didn’t want to either lie to her or anger Master.
I spent the rest of my afternoon watching some home improvement shows. They really held no interest for me, but at least it was neat to see the before and after.
Usually I’d start dinner around four or four thirty, depending on what I was cooking, but tonight I just remained where I was. Master would be home soon. At least once he was here I’d have something to do.
At five twenty-five, I took my position on the floor. Less than five minutes later, Master walked through the door. I waited with my head down for him to approach me and took a deep breath when his fingers found my hair.
His hand fell away, and he reached out, helping me to stand. “Good evening, Brianna.”
It was the same greeting every evening, and I answered with the same response. “Good evening, Master.”
He stepped back from me and slipped off his suit jacket. “What would you like on your pizza?”
I knew from experience that giving him a whatever-you-wish-Master was not what he wanted. If he asked me a specific question, he expected a specific answer. “Anything but peppers and onions.”
“Very good.” The smile in his voice was clear, although I was not looking at him. It made me happy that my answer pleased him
, and a small smile tugged on my own lips.
He walked away from me then, leaving me standing where I was. I heard his voice behind me ordering our pizza. It was soft and calming tonight; he was in a good mood.
Master didn’t acknowledge me as he hung up the phone, walked across the room and into his bedroom. I stood in my spot, not sure what to do but knowing he wouldn’t leave me here for long, or at least hoping he wouldn’t. I wasn’t too worried, though, given his mood. He’d give me instructions soon. So I relaxed and waited.
Several minutes later, I heard him re-enter the main room. He didn’t come toward me, though. Instead, I heard the sound of him sitting. And somehow I knew what would come next.
“Come here,” he instructed. I went to him.
He opened his arms, and I knew he wanted me to sit in his lap. We did this every night, but usually it was after dinner.
I sat demurely with my head down while he wrapped his arms around my waist.
“How are you today, Brianna?” he asked.
“I’m fine, Master.”
“What did you do while I was gone?”
And so I cataloged my day for him. He listened intently. When I’d pause, he’d prompt me to continue. These talks of ours were getting easier, but it was still strange to me. Master seemed to want to know my answers, but I didn’t know why it would matter to him. This crossed my mind every night, and I’d decided that again it didn’t matter. I would give him whatever he wanted from me.
After I was finished, he said, “Lily told me she called you. She also told me you seemed afraid to talk to her.”
I clamped my lips together. Was he angry that I hadn’t talked to her, or that she could tell I was afraid to?
His next words answered my question. “Brianna, I’m not upset with you,” he said, rubbing his right hand up and down my arm. “But I want you to know that you can talk to Lily about anything you wish. I promise that I will not be upset.” Master paused. It was obvious that he was expecting an answer from me.