by Jess Bryant
“Do it.” She insisted desperately, “Your wolf needs his mate and I need to belong somewhere.”
“You do belong. With me. You’re mine.” He all but snarled as he drove inside her and she screamed his name in pleasure as her body pulsed around him.
Heaven. This man was hers. Being with him was a gift. She didn’t know if it would always be like this between them. If it was the heat waning or the full moon rising or if it was just the bond, that they were mates. But she had never felt like this before, like she was right where she was supposed to be.
“Rafe!” She cried out as he plunged in and out of her, fast and then faster still. “So close, so close, so... Now. Do it now.”
Her climax hit her like a lightning bolt and a moment later she felt the sharp plunge of teeth in her neck. She screamed at the mix of pleasure and pain. She was electrified, everything inside of her felt as if she’d suddenly grabbed hold of a live wire.
Somewhere in the haze, she could hear Rafe say her name. Hear him tell her to hold onto him. That it was all going to be okay. But as the pleasure of her climax ebbed and the full brunt of the bite took control, she realized there was a reason nobody in the pack ever talked about the mating bite.
It was because it wasn’t heaven but pure and absolute hell.
Chapter 13
It felt like fire was burning through her blood. Somewhere deep inside of her, it felt as if something was being ripped apart. Her soul maybe, but that didn’t make sense. The claiming was supposed to bind the two mates together not rip one of them to pieces. It felt like claws digging into her heart, shredding it until nothing was left but the pain.
It hurt. Oh God it hurt. She felt tears well in her eyes and she tried to scream but there wasn’t any air in her lungs. No air. Just fire and heat, scraping at her throat until she was sure flames would erupt from her mouth.
“Rafe!” She squeaked out, panting and convulsing, her vision blurry with tears. She was dying. She knew it. She was dying just when she’d found her other half, her reason for being. She had to tell him, had to, couldn’t leave him like this. He’d blame himself just like he had for the others. “I… I… don’t…”
“Shh. I’m here.” He cut her off with a soothing tone that did nothing to stem her panic because he was holding her down. Her arms were pinned above her. Her legs trapped underneath him. She was trapped and burning alive in her own skin. “I’m here. Hold onto me, Zo. It’s almost over.”
Over? What was almost over? Her life? Had they been wrong? A werewolf bite killed one in ten humans. If she wasn’t truly Rafe’s mate it would kill her. It had killed her.
She was crying. Screaming. Writhing beneath him but he wasn’t panicking at all. Her mind tripped over that fact. Why wasn’t he panicking? Couldn’t he feel her fear through the bond? Couldn’t he sense that she was weakening? That she was dying? It was almost over.
“I... I…” She tried to tell him… But then it happened.
It was as if an explosion had gone off. She was sucked out of the bubble she’d been trapped in. The one full of heat and fire and pain and death. She was dropped back into full consciousness, back into her body, and as she sucked in a gasp of sweet, glorious air for the first time in far too long, she gasped.
She wasn’t alone anymore in her body. She could feel it. Sense it. Her wolf. She had a wolf inside of her. She was there, pacing just beneath the surface. Shaky on her newborn legs but strong.
“Oh, God…” Zoey choked out on a sob of hysteria.
“Shh, it’s okay. You’re okay.” Rafe came back into focus and at the sound of his voice her wolf rubbed up against her skin, wanting to get to him, to touch him, and she practically purred when he stroked her hair, softly petting her, “You’re okay now. You’re more than okay. You’re perfect. Both of you.”
Her wolf rubbed at her insides again and Zoey tried to remember to breathe. All of the times she’d thought about bonding about mating and she’d never, not once, given a thought to what it would feel like to share her body with an animal. A wolf that lived inside of her. That was part of her but also separate. A wolf with her own wants and needs and desires. Her wolf wanted closer to Rafe and since Zoey couldn’t really blame her she snuggled in closer to him and let him pull her against him.
She had no idea how much time had passed. How long did it take to birth a new wolf into existence? She and Rafe were both still naked, still locked together on the bed. Both breathing hard and trying to get their bearings. But she could feel his pride simmering through the current between them and it made her wolf preen with his approval.
“She’s beautiful.” Rafe murmured against her hair, “Just like you.”
Zoey rolled to face him, eyes wide, “Can you read my mind now?”
He chuckled and she stared at him in awe. He’d laughed. Rafe Hudson had just laughed for the first time in God only knew how long and it was because of her. She’d put that look of pleasure and contentedness on his handsome face. She’d made that rusty, ill-used sound come from his chest.
And her heart slipped a little further out of her grasp when he smirked at her with that mischievous, dimpled smile, “Kinda.”
“What do you mean, kinda?”
He chuckled again, “I mean, the bond is even stronger now so I can sense your mood and emotions. I can tell just from the vibes you’re sending out if you’re happy or sad or…”
“Angry that you’re reading my mind?” She sniffed but he surprised her by laughing again and then rolling her over until he had her pinned again. “Hey!”
“I’ll know when you want to fight and I’ll know when you’re just looking for a way to provoke me.” He nipped her lips and settled between her legs again, “I’ll know exactly what my little wolf needs and when she needs it.”
Zoey moaned and her new wolf all but purred, Wh… What does she need?”
“What she needs…” Rafe nipped at her lips before kissing her softly, “Is to rest. She’s strong. I can feel how strong she is. But she’s still a newborn and you both need time to rest and recover from the change.”
“That’s not what she needs.” Zoey argued when her wolf lunged for him.
“It’s exactly what she needs.” Rafe argued with another kiss, “Even if what she wants is to meet her mate. It’s not happening. Not tonight.”
“But…”
“Not tonight, Zo. You’ve already talked me into too much. The mating and the bite and the bond.” He rolled off of her but pulled her into his arms, “I told you I would always give you what you need and right now, what you need is to rest.”
She chewed her bottom lip and contemplated what he was saying. Her wolf didn’t like it. Didn’t like being told what she needed. Especially when it conflicted with what she wanted. But a yawn caught up to her and she supposed that Rafe was right.
It had been a long night. So much had happened. So much had changed. She’d thought she was dying just minutes ago. She had an animal living inside of her now. She was werewolf.
Finally, a small smile spread across her lips.
“We’ll change together? Tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow.” Rafe sighed heavily and she could feel the worry begin to seep in again as he thought of all the things that could go wrong when he let his wolf loose, “When the full moon rises, you’ll shift for the first time and I’ll… I’ll shift with you.”
The way he hesitated didn’t give her a burst of confidence but she fought away the doubt, “Does your wolf… Can he sense her already?”
Rafe stroked his fingers up and down her spine. A caress for her. A pet for her wolf. She shivered and snuggled even closer to him, loving the strength and comfort of being in his arms.
“Oh yeah, he can sense her. He can see her. He’s the one that told me she’s beautiful. He wants her so bad my skin itches with the need to shift. But I’m keeping him under control, Zo. I promise.”
“He’s not going to hurt me, Rafe.”
“I know.” He said
, but there was no conviction in his tone or in the bond.
She sighed and laced her fingers together with his, “Tonight, we’ll rest but tomorrow you have to tell me how all of it works, okay? I may be pack but I wasn’t one of you. Not really. Not until now.”
“I’ll tell you everything you need to know.”
Her wolf harrumphed and circled slowly before laying down. She wasn’t giving up. Like Zoey, she was stubborn, and like Zoey, she didn’t miss that Rafe’s words weren’t what she needed to hear. He hadn’t promised to tell her everything. Only what he thought she needed to know. It was a start but it was by no means the open and honest relationship she needed from him.
She attempted to lighten the mood, “We’ll shift and we’ll run and we’ll play in the woods tomorrow night then? Like hide and seek?”
Rafe snorted with amusement, “Kinda. We’ll shift and run together only, when my wolf catches yours, he’s going to mate her Zoey.”
Her eyebrows rose, “He’s going to… they’re going to… in wolf form?”
“Mmhmm.” He sounded amused again. “How did you think they sealed their bond? The same way we sealed ours. When they mate, the circle will finally be complete and our bond will be cemented in every way and in every form.”
“Oh…” She really hadn’t given that much thought either but she didn’t think now was a good time to point out that whenever she’d thought of mating a wolf in the past she’d thought of Michael and her living happily ever after, not exactly the schematics of how it all worked. “Will I… we… know what’s going on?”
“Yes. You’ll still be in control of your wolf. She has her own spirit but she lives inside you. She’s a part of you. There’s no way to separate one of you from the other now. So just like you can feel her there in the back of your mind like this, when you’re in wolf form, when she’s the one at the forefront, you’ll be in the background, able to whisper to her and guide her.”
Zoey relaxed against him as she contemplated his words. She would still be the one in control. But Rafe wouldn’t be in control of his. He’d told her as much earlier, before she’d agreed to the bite. He’d lost control of his wolf that day in the woods when the hunters attacked and he’d never regained it. She couldn’t help but wonder how it must feel to him, to be pushed to the back of his own mind when his wolf took over, unable to control what the animal did.
“He won’t hurt you.” Rafe’s voice was rough when he spoke and she silently cursed the connection she’d forgotten about for a second there. He didn’t know exactly what she was thinking. But her change in mood must have been enough to give away her train of thought.
“You sound a little more convinced than you did earlier at least.” She squeezed his hand.
Rafe sighed heavily and raised their joined hands to kiss her fingers, “He’s… content. I can’t remember the last time I could’ve said that but he is. Being here with you, like this, your scent on me, mine on you, it calms him.”
She kissed his chest, just over his heart, “That’s a good sign, right?”
“I think… marking you tonight was a good idea. It settled some of his nervousness. He knows you’re ours now and he can sense your wolf. He can feel how strong she is, knows he has to be strong for her too. She’s a good mate for him.”
Zoey smiled softly, “Fate huh?”
“Sometimes she gets it right.” Rafe stroked her hair softly.
A twinge of something she couldn’t quite place ached in her chest. Fate got it right. So why did she feel that flash of irritation, or remorse and sadness? It wasn’t hers, she realized when it began to soften at the edges while Rafe combed her hair.
She was picking up Rafe’s emotions again and she had a pretty good idea what had triggered that one this time.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” She murmured softly.
“Hmm?”
“Don’t play dumb. You know what I’m talking about. Down at the river, everything was happening so fast and I was in shock. Rafe, I didn’t mean it when I said fate chose the wrong wolf for me.”
He stopped stroking her hair, “Yes… you did.”
“Rafe..”
“But it’s okay.” He tilted her head back until he could look her in the eyes, “It’s okay. You were in shock, like you said. You have a history with him. Our bond, our mating, doesn’t wipe away the years you two spent together. I understand why you wish it had been him.”
Zoey’s heart was breaking at the resignation in his tone, “I don’t. Not anymore. Not now that we’re bonded and I…”
“It’s okay.” He cut her off with a soft kiss to the forehead, “I thought it myself you know? That he would have been a better pick. He’s the safe choice. Stable. Solid. But I can be those things for you too, Zo. I can be better for you. I promise.”
She nodded instantly, tears welling in her eyes again, “We’re good together. I know we are. And we’ll be strong together, for each other, okay? We’ll figure it all out but just know… I don’t wish it was him with me here now. Okay?”
Rafe nodded and hugged her close. She wasn’t certain how reassuring her words really were. They both knew it was the bond and the mating that had changed her feelings. The heat had driven them into each other’s arms and now they were locked together forever. Whatever came next, whatever tomorrow brought, they would deal with it together.
“Zo…”
She nuzzled Rafe’s chest when she heard him whisper her name and realized she’d been dozing slightly. Just on the verge of sleep. But he’d pulled her back, just barely, just enough to respond.
“Hmm?”
“I’m glad it was you.”
She fell asleep with a smile on her face and her new wolf content because she was wrapped protectively in the arms of their mate.
Chapter 14
Rafe watched her sleep for a long time before finally convincing himself and his wolf that losing sight of her wouldn’t mean losing her. She belonged to them now. Just as they belonged to her. So despite his overwhelming need to keep her close, to protect her, he kissed her softly on the forehead and then crawled out of bed.
He wasn’t sure how much he’d slept. Not much if the aches and pains were anything to go by. The heat and then his desire for Zoey had managed to conceal the worst of it last night. But in the light of day, his back was sore where he’d been shot by the tranquilizer and he felt groggy as if the drugs were still in his system.
As a shifter, he had enhanced healing abilities. He should have been fine by now. He could only assume that since Michael had upgraded the local jail to hold shifters that he’d also upgraded the weaponry his officers carried. There was little doubt in his mind that tranq had been specifically designed to take down a shifter if he was still feeling the effects hours later.
Typically, the first thing he did when he woke up was go for a run. It helped to work off some of his innate shifter energy. He didn’t let his wolf out enough and it made them both restless. A good solid couple of miles in the morning worked off the worst of the agitation but he couldn’t bring himself to leave the cabin.
Not with Zoey still sound asleep in the other room.
He didn’t want her to wake up alone. That’s what the reasonable side of his brain told him. The reasonable side of him said that she’d been through a lot last night. He’d flipped her entire world upside down. Hell, he’d literally turned her into a different species. The least he could do was be there for her when she woke up.
But the reasonable side of him also knew that wasn’t the full truth.
He couldn’t get too far away from her because if he did, she might get hurt. She might get attacked. She might wander off and get lost. She might leave him and she couldn’t leave him. Not when he’d just found her. Not when he’d finally found his mate. Found his way home. He couldn’t lose her, not like he’d lost Gabe and his parents. So he didn’t dare leave the cabin, instead choosing to shower and dress and then make breakfast for his little mate for when sh
e woke.
Besides, he told himself. He wasn’t being overprotective. Trouble was going to come for them sooner rather than later. They’d had the night together. A gift, really. But it wouldn’t be long now until the forces that had tried to keep them apart showed up to check the damage done.
Michael was coming. It was only a matter of time. And Rafe intended to put himself between his brother and his mate this time. Because she was his and there was no way Michael was taking her from him.
Rafe scrambled the eggs in the frying pan much harder than necessary as he thought about that. She’d said last night that she wasn’t disappointed fate had given her him instead of Michael but how could she not be? He was a mess compared to his brother. He didn’t even have control of his wolf. But he’d heard the truth in her statement when she said she didn’t wish it was Michael with her now. She’d said it and she’d meant it. He could only hope that she still did today, in the bright light of morning, without the heat baring down on them or the power of the mark compelling the bond.
He was just plating the eggs and pulling the bacon off the griddle when he heard the door to the bedroom open. He steeled himself with a deep breath, but all it did was force more of her sweet scent into his lungs. He turned to face her and the simple ease of her smile caused an uncontrollable pain in his chest.
God she was gorgeous.
Fresh from sleep, her hair tied up into a messy ponytail and her face free of makeup she looked even younger than she was. More like the girl he remembered. She’d found some clothes in the dresser, a disappointment since he was a big fan of her naked. Luckily though, the tank top and shorts she’d donned didn’t cover much and he could still see and stroke plenty of her smooth skin. Then his eyes caught on the mark on her neck and his wolf practically howled with approval.