Beginning to Breathe, Again (Feral Steel MC Book 2)

by Vera Quinn

  “Are you sure Tara is going to be on board with that? You have such a winning personality when it comes to the women.” Hacksaw is trying to be funny but he is right. I don’t know how to interact with women. My voice is too sharp and I don’t think of how things sound before I say them. I am brash most of the time but Tara and I have had some good conversations. Maybe she can overlook my harsh personality so I can keep her safe.

  “I’m not giving her a choice. She needs my protection.” I answer Hacksaw.

  “Well shit, this should be fun to watch. We haven’t had a good show since Callie came to Oklahoma.” Tito is laughing.

  “Fuck you, Tito.” Devil tells him. I have heard the stories of when Devil and Callie were first together. Callie gave Devil hell. “Everyone has heard Rome. Tara is now part of the Feral Steel. Since she is Rome’s she has our complete protection just like Callie and Gertie. Good luck with getting Tara on board with that, Rome. Now, let’s get on with the rest of it. Do I have a motion?”

  “I motion we find out exactly how THC and this Brothers Bonded is linked. Call in some markers to get the dirt. We take care of the men that hit the gym with club justice. If we get the evidence on any other crimes, turn it over to the authorities to take care of. Put extra security on all our businesses and family, and since Tara is family now, we deal with the asshole who hurt her.” Hacksaw covers each point.

  “If the councilman’s son is involved do you think we can count on the local police?” Tex raises a good question. “We might better check with our friend inside the PD and see what the politics are like. I second the motion with the amendment.”

  “I accept the amendment.” Hacksaw agrees.

  “Anyone for? I agree, so my vote is yes.” Everyone has the same answer for Devil. “Anyone against?” There are no replies. “Alright then, Tito you are on the THC and Brothers Bonded connection. I also want you to follow up with any connection from this town to THC. We don’t have many markers left out there but use whatever we have. Contact Chief, Krill, and even Sarge to find out anything they may know. I want you to give this your full attention.”

  “I will be on it as soon as we finish.” Tito

  “I have something else I want a vote on. I know we voted to take care of our business first but I think we should help the local business people by putting up security cameras. We could donate the cameras but charge them for maintaining and observing the feed. I think this could turn into a lucrative business since there is a need. The initial purchase of equipment can be a tax deduction. We install, maintain, and watch the feed for any security breaches but at a reasonable price. It’s a win-win, situation. I think we can come up with the funds. If we need more capital we can find investors. I have been thinking about this since Bud told Hacksaw that no one in town had security cameras plus the men doing these break-ins may not be as careful on businesses that are not linked to the club so it may help us.” Devil has a good point. This could help the small businesses in town.

  “Won’t that bring the town troubles right back on our laps and do we even have the manpower for something like that?” Tex ask.

  “Security companies only observe the feed from the cameras and contact the authorities. If we find it is a job that is too big for us, then after this situation is taken care of we can contact another security business and either partner with them or let them buy us out at a profit or partially buy us out and we get a percentage. I can run it past our attorney. I think this is an opportunity that dropped into our laps and if we don’t take advantage of it someone else will. We have to keep branching out if we are going to grow.” Devil has a Midas touch when it comes to business. “I think this is something Rome would be good at with his military background.” That surprises the hell out of me. Devil must have really been thinking about this if he has already thought of me in the position. I think this might be something I can do.

  “I’d like to run some numbers on it. I can price the cameras and equipment we will need. Where would the monitoring room be set up?” Tex is warming to the idea.

  “I think it would be better to have one set of monitors and the office in town and then set up another monitor room here at the clubhouse. That way if we decide to sell, an office will already be established. I’m sure we will need to be bonded so the paperwork will take a few weeks but we could get it started.” Devil has thought this through. “Tex, run the numbers. We need the best equipment we can get for the best price. We can start recruiting for prospects to grow our numbers. Rix is ready to be voted in. He left us for a little over a year but he’s been back and showed us he is dedicated this time. Cricket is ready, too.” Even though we have had setbacks this week Devil never stops pushing us forward. He’s a damn good president. He has gained the confidence of all the brothers and from some of the stories I have heard this was not always the case. “Is there anything else we need to go over before we close and get some damn beer to drink?”

  “Sounds like we have gone over everything or at least we have a plan to start. We just need to know what the rest of us are going to be responsible for.” Hacksaw puts in.

  “Hacksaw, you and Bowie are to take a couple of prospects and keep an eye on our businesses. Since Tito and Oz just finished putting in cameras it shouldn’t be too hard. Our companies will be the first ones to get the security camera linked if we go that direction. Oz, I want you on this Bonded Brothers group. I want to know all the members and I mean everything on them, even what they eat for breakfast. We get new prospects then you will be doing background checks. Don’t let our security slide. Crockett, you take the rest of the prospects except the one that works in the clubhouse and do security for the family. That means Callie, the kids, her trio of friends, and Gertie. The prospect left at the clubhouse will watch over the club girls and make sure they keep the clubhouse in order. That means Terrance and Honey Girl are going to need to pull their weight. Rome, I want you to go to the diner and nose around. Find out when the last time Bud was inspected by the city. You also need to get Tara with the program. She’s yours so make sure she knows what is expected of her when she gets out of the hospital. I’m guessing until you find a place to live you’ll be staying at the clubhouse. She’s not used to club life so give her a heads up on the ins and out of it. If you need help get with Gertie or Callie and get your property patch on her, in case we need to call other clubs in to help with anything. Everyone else fill in where you are needed. We’ll meet again as soon as Tex gets us our numbers and I want a vote on Rix and Cricket then. Anyone have recruit ideas then be ready to give them. Anything else? Damn, I’m tired of talking.” Devil looks around and no one says anything. I think everyone is ready to get to the bar and get a drink.

  “I’m going back to the hospital and as soon as Tara remembers more I will let you know.” I tell the table of brothers.

  “Alright. Let’s get a drink.” Devil no more gets that out of his mouth than Creole is at the door. “Rome, I need a word.” Everyone leaves so it is just Devil and myself. I walk over by where Devil is sitting. “Are you sure about claiming Tara?” He is smiling that shit eating grin again but I am not in a playing mood. This is a serious situation for me.

  “If I told you I didn’t have my reservation about claiming a woman, any woman, I’d be lying. I am still having the dreams and I don’t think anyone should have to deal with that kind of situation but Tara needs protecting. I will not let Hacksaw use her up and then throw her aside. Tara is better than that. I can’t give her the life she deserves but I will give her the protection she needs until she is safe and then I will set her free.” I am making peace with this idea. This I can do for Tara.

  “Rome, I have never seen you react to any woman the way you do Tara. Oz says she watches you, too. Maybe you should let Tara decide for herself what kind of life she wants. When I tried making decisions for Callie it never worked.” I can hear the truth in what Devil is saying.

  “I can’t even have a drink of alcohol with her. What kind
of man can’t have a drink with their woman?” I know that isn’t the most important thing in the world but I don’t like having to restrict myself and I would never want to keep Tara from doing something.

  “There are some women who would say that is a blessing not a hindrance. That way they always have a designated driver. Rome, do you really think a woman would choose her man over the fact if he can drink or not? I would bet you are not that big of a drinker even if you weren’t on medicine.” Devil is right.

  “You are right but the nightmares. No one should witness me waking up in a cold sweat. I wouldn’t even know how to explain it to Tara.” I don’t even like discussing this with Devil.

  “If you care about Tara the way I think you do then you are selling her short not sharing and giving her the choice. Just think about it. You never know what you might get if you don’t try. Now, we need to get the fuck out of here before we turn into crying tit whines.” I smile at that. Devil isn’t any more at ease talking about feelings and relationships than I am. He’s just being a good brother.

  “I’ll think about it and thank you. You tell Hacksaw about this and I will deny the hell out of it.” We both laugh at that and I back up and Devil stands up. We walk out together. He goes towards the bar and I go to my room to grab a quick shower so I can get back to the hospital.

  Chapter 17

  Tara

  I wake up and open my eyes carefully. My head is still pounding but not as bad as it was earlier. I do feel the staples in my head now. I carefully put my hand to my head and I feel where they shaved my head to put the staples in. It’s a good thing I am not one that cares what others think of my looks. I would be out of luck.

  What is today? I see Mildred laying back in the recliner with a blanket over her. She doesn’t look very comfortable. I try to focus on what day it is. If it is the same day as when I came in it is Monday. I missed class tonight. I hope there was no test. I can’t remember if there should have been. I don’t think so but I need to get a phone to call as soon as I can. I can’t afford to miss another class. My head throbs. I can’t tell what time it is, there’s no windows I can see out of and I am not about to move my head. I feel for my pain pump button and I press it. A little more sleep, just a little relief. I watch Mildred sleep until my head feels fuzzy again. I still feel the throb but it I has lessened. I let my eyes drift shut. Just for a few minutes.

  It seems like I have only had my eyes shut for a few minutes when I open them again. Everything looks brighter. I look over at Mildred and I see Rome sitting there staring at me. He gives me a slow smile. He is one beautiful man when he smiles and apparently my mouth thinks he needs to know this. “You are beautiful when you smile.” Rome is shocked by my words but smiles bigger.

  “When that nurse comes back we may need to get her to set you up for a psych exam.” He stops smiling and his face goes back to the stoic look I have come to expect from Rome. “How are you feeling, Tara?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe like the back of my head has been beat in. I would kill for some water, though.” Rome stands up and walks over to me.

  “I’ll go and ask the nurse. I don’t see one of those pitchers they usually have in hospital rooms.” Rome walks out to the nurse’s station. He leaves the door open and I can see him. The nurse says something to him and then leaves him standing there. He returns to my room. “The nurse is getting you some water.”

  “Thank goodness. The last time I asked for water they swabbed my mouth with something, it was nasty.” I think about it. I wonder how long ago that was. I have an IV in and I feel a tube somewhere else. Uh, I have a catheter. I try not to move so maybe Rome won’t notice. Why is Rome here? “The last time I woke up Mildred was here. Is she still here?”

  “I sent her home a couple of hours ago.” That doesn’t make sense to me. Mildred must have work. I don’t expect anyone to sit with me. This is my situation. I need to get out of here. I can’t afford time off work, time out of school, and the hospital room cost. I don’t even want to think about it.

  “Do you have a phone I can borrow? I’ll keep it short. I promise. I need to call my professors and I need to tell Bud that I don’t know when I will be able to work. I guess I should find out when they will let me out first. Why are you here?” I know that was a rude question. It sounded rude. I didn’t mean for it to but my filter between my brain and mouth seems to be busted.

  “We’ll take care of everything in time, Tara. The doctor will be here later when he does his rounds this afternoon and you can ask when you might get released. I am here because I want to be. We need to discuss a few things.” I think about what Rome said. It’s hard for me to concentrate.

  “What do you mean we? I need to get out of here and get home. I can rest there better. I can’t afford this hospital bill. I don’t have insurance.” The nurse walks in and brings a water pitcher and a cup and sets it on my bed table. She fills the glass and puts a straw in it.

  “Ms. Blount, I am Kitty and I am your nurse today. The doctor was in earlier this morning and checked your staples. Do you remember talking to the doctor?” I try to remember but I can’t recall seeing a doctor.

  “No, I don’t remember. Did he say when I am getting released? I have classes and a job to get back to.” Kitty smiles at me.

  “It is way too early to be talking about that but you can speak to the doctor this afternoon. I am going to be back in a little while to remove your catheter. They are still working on getting you a room upstairs. It shouldn’t be long now and then the floor nurse will get you up so you can start moving around.” The nurse keeps talking.

  “When can she eat something?” Rome asks the nurse.

  “She’s on a clear liquid diet for lunch and then a bland diet for dinner. The doctor will upgrade when he sees how her stomach reacts to food.” The nurse only has eyes for Rome. I don’t know why that pisses me off but it does. “Can I get you anything else?” I know Kitty is asking me but she is staring at Rome.

  “That’ll be it for now.” Kitty gives Rome another glance and walks out the sliding door. She’s no more gone then another nurse in scrubs walks in pushing a blood pressure stand. At least this one is a man. I won’t be forced to watch this one eye fuck Rome.

  “Good morning. I am going to be helping Kitty today. I am here to take your stats. Oh, I am Ned.” He shows me his security badge and smiles. He has a nice smile. He scoots the stand up close to my bed. I put out my arm and he wraps the cup around my arm and hits the on button and the cup starts tightening around my arm. “Open, please.” I open my mouth and he sticks a thermometer in my mouth and then clips something on my finger. The cup is tight but it loosens soon enough. He takes the thermometer out of my mouth and the clip off my finger. He’s writing in everything on some type of computer tablet.

  “Is everything alright?” I ask him.

  “All in normal ranges. Can I get anything for you? If you are still here in two hours, I will be back.” Something confuses me. Surely, I am not still in the emergency room.

  “Where are they moving me? Am I still in the ER?” Ned stops and looks at me.

  “They are moving you to the third floor. You are on the second floor right now which is critical care on this end. The other end is surgery. We are small town so the floors are split. You don’t worry yourself. You are in good hands.” Ned tells me. “Now, can I get either of you anything?” Rome doesn’t answer.

  “No. We’re fine.” Ned pushes his stand through the sliding door and Rome walks over and makes sure it closes and pulls the curtain closed over the door. I wait until Rome is seated and take a drink of my water and I think it is the best tasting water I have ever had. I keep drinking. Rome gets up and walks to me.

  “You need to slow down. It’ll make you sick if you’re not careful.” He puts his hand out to me and I hand him the cup. He puts it on the stand and fills it up. Then sits beside me on the bed. I try scooting over without moving my head. I feel the throbbing intensifying. “You
might want to push that button again so your headache doesn’t get out of hand.” I do what he says but wonder how he knows. “You’re squinting your eyes like they are hurting you. I figured the pain was coming back.”

  “You’re right, it was. You didn’t answer my question, why are you here?” Rome surprises me by moving closer to me and running his hand down my face.

  “I am here because you need me. That’s the only reason why I can figure out I have done the things I have. You need me and I think, maybe, I need you.” Rome is talking in riddles and I don’t understand. “Do you remember anything else that Liam said to you when he was attacking you?” I think about it.

  “All I can remember is Liam pulling me out of the diner and then throwing up against the side of the building while choking me. He said he was coming after Devil, my protector, and the Feral Steel club. He also insinuated that Sheila and mom were working for him but I think he meant Sheila sleeping with him. He said she was his piece on the side. He was insulted I called her his girlfriend. I wish I hadn’t blacked out so soon because he was yelling the whole time but that is all I heard. That and he said he would have me on my knees before long.” That freaks me out. Liam gives me all sorts of bad feelings.

  “It’s alright, Tara. Don’t get all worked up.” I didn’t realize I was raising my voice.

  “He called you my protector. That’s crazy. We barely know each other.” Rome smiles again.

  “Liam is right. I am your protector. You are under my protection now.” Rome says it but it makes no sense.

  “No one is my protector. I stand on my own. Sometimes I wish I had a protector.” Rome takes my hand in his.

  “I’m going to let you in on a little secret, Tara. You have a protector now. A bunch of them. I claimed you.” I start to ask what in the hell that means but Rome puts a single finger on my lips to silence me. “I know you don’t understand what that means so I am going to put it in a nutshell for you.” I wait and he continues. “That means you are mine to take care of. All the Feral Steel motorcycle club will protect you like you are family. You just need to do what I tell you and we will keep you safe. The rest will come with time. Just trust me. Can you do that?” Rome looks sincere but I’m not sure.