I was caught off-guard.
“What?” I asked, turning back to my small group of friends.
Olivia had a habit of starting a conversation about something that had nothing to do with the present situation. Sometimes she did it to kick-start a dull moment, but today she did it because she didn’t know what to say. None of us did.
“Lu thinks there’s something strange about the dogs,” Rona said. When I looked at her, she blushed at the foolishness of her statement and fell silent.
“Algae seems normal,” Jorge said absently.
“What are the three of you talking about?” I asked.
“We can’t find one male fish,” Olivia said, as if I cared. “Yesterday afternoon, we started collecting fish. I have no idea how they reproduce.
“On Earth, there’s a blue female fish. When two meet, one turns orange and becomes male. After they mate, they change sexes and colors and mate again. When they part, they’re both blue, female, and both pregnant.” She sighed heavily before she continued. “On Earth there are some 52 different kinds of fish that can change sexes. We think Akiane fish can also change sexes.” She paused.
She must have known no one cared. Yet she kept going. “When a female changes to a male, it’s called protogyny.”
I’d had enough. If I didn’t stop her, she wouldn’t stop until she’d told us everything she knew about fish. Was she trying to start an argument during my last moments here? It was just like her.
“Who cares?” I said a little too loudly.
“Olivia, now’s not the time,” Rona said.
“I’m sorry,” Olivia said, but with really emotion. “I just don’t know what to say.”
Jorg looked around as if he’d just awakened and wasn’t sure where he was.
“I’m leaving,” I harshly reminded her. “Have you forgotten? I’m going to freeze to death. Can’t you talk about fish after I’m gone?”
“I’m sorry, Jessica,” Olivia said. She gave the impression of being genuinely sorry. She looked as sad as I felt.
My friends dropped their heads and shuffled their feet. I looked at each one in turn.
Rona was still on the verge of tears.
Jorg looked as if his best friend had died.
When Olivia first heard I was leaving, she’d thrown her arms around my neck and held on as if I was her sister.
Tears trickled down her cheeks. How could she have so many tears? Why did she care? I thought she disliked me––immensely. I certainly didn’t like her. At least I didn’t used to. But her reaction made me stop and think. Maybe she wasn’t so bad after all.
She’d been so irritating on the ship, yet helpful.
I just couldn’t bring myself to read the reports Captain Norris had ordered me to read about Akiane.
Olivia would often sit with Rona and me at lunch and ask me questions about the planet. She knew the answers. She just wanted to show how stupid I was. One day I got so fed up and angry with her that I read every report and memorized the information.
The next time she sat with us and preceded to interrogate me, I had the answers.
She smirked. At least, at the time, I thought she’d smirked. I had wanted to slap that smile off her face.
But now, thinking back on it, it might have been a smile of pride that I finally had the answers. I’d read the reports because of her.
Olivia was not the type to pamper or sympathize with anyone. Instead she aggravated people to the point of doing something about their problem.
I realized, to my utter surprise, I was going to miss our bickering. I was going to miss a lot of things. Rona and I had spent hours talking about our lives back on Earth and our future plans. Then there was Jorg.
At least fish wouldn’t make me cry.
“So all the fish are female,” I said.
Olivia’s head bobbed. “Yes,” she said, snuffling.
“And the dogs, Rona? Find any males yet?” I asked.
“Not so far, but Lu is determined.” She pulled her hand out of her glove and wiped at her eyes and attempted a smile.
“Maybe, by the time I get back, you’ll both have something to show me.” I tried to sound encouraging.
“Jessie,” Jorg said. His face flushed, as if he were about to say something embarrassing.
“What?” I asked. I was going to miss the sound of his voice, his smile, his jokes—him.
I wanted to take a step closer to him, gently press against him and lean my head on his shoulder. I wanted him to wrap his arms around me and hold me close. I wanted him to tell me not to leave, that he’d protect me from Cameron and Admiral Grossman. But what if I did take that step and he took a step away?
I didn’t move. Why make a scene now?
The expression on his face changed. He had something to say, but didn’t know how to say it. If there was something important to say, now was the time, even if Olivia and Rona were listening.
He looked me in the eye. His head dropped. His shoulders slumped. He seemed smaller. It was just like a man to wait until the last possible moment.
I held my breath. Was he going to . . . to tell me not to go, that he couldn’t live without me? I braced myself for what was coming. I was scared of what he was about to say. I had no idea what I would say or what I was supposed to do. I never thought this moment would come. Did I really want this?
My heart did a happy flip-flop. Yes, I did.
Finally, he stopped fidgeting. His head slowly rose. Resolve appeared in his eyes. He asked, “Will you bring back samples of any algae you might find?”
My heart stopped beating. A sigh escaped my lips. I’d let my imagination run away. Profoundly disappointed, I heard myself say, “Yes. The admiral made sure I have plenty of containers to bring samples of all kinds of things back with me.” I didn’t tell them about the aliens.
We stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. He wasn’t going to say it. Why should he? I was leaving and might never come back. Why start something now?
Or maybe it was just my imagination and there was nothing to say after all.
I turned to Olivia. “You want any fish?”
“Only if you find one that’s male.”
“How about you, Rona? Any requests?” I asked.
“Just you.” She burst into tears.
Chapter 33
Lieutenant Jessica Hewitt
Love at First Sight
WE’D COME outside at dawn, but it was midmorning before the sleds were finally packed. The dogs were harnessed in place and were mostly quiet waiting for us to be on our way. Cameron was making his final check. Nu Venia stood to one side staring at nothing.
One squirrelly white dog with a single red ear hopped in place as if the snow was burning his paws. He seemed anxious to be on his way and unwilling to wait any longer. Out of boredom, he attacked the flopping tail of the dog in front of him. That one, with a half-apricot, half-white face, turned to defend her rear.
Playful dogs make a lot of noise, growling as if angry or whining as if they are victims. They come at each other with mouths wide open, but seem to gum each other as if they are toothless.
Squirrelly’s running mate, a white dog with a red back and one large black spot on the side of his pink nose, joined in, but Red-back was serious. He bared his teeth. He snarled and snapped as if he meant to tear into Apricot-face.
Red-ear looked at his running mate in surprise.
Apricot-face hunched her back, preparing for battle.
I didn’t actually know which were male or female. I guessed by their mannerisms.
The all-white, lead dog moved as far from the fight as she could. Even Squirrelly backed off.
The harness prevented Red-back and Apricot-face from circling each other. They shifted from left to right, sizing the other up while planning their attack.
Just as they were about to leap at each other, Cameron jumped in between them. He held Red-back by the scuff of his neck in one hand and Apricot-face in the other. He kicked
at Squirrelly, but didn’t actually hit him. The squirrelly, Red-ear dog jumped out of the way.
“Enough. You will settle or you will stay behind,” he said.
The dogs settled down as Cameron placed each in their proper place and returned to the other sled.
Then Squirrelly saw me. That dog actually looked as though he recognized me. In an effort to greet me, he walked toward me. He pulled on the harness. Five of the dogs moved with him. The wheel dogs hitched in front of the sled rolled over on their sides as if they were going to sleep. The two lead dogs got up and moved toward the other team. Three dogs from that sled came over to greet them. They nuzzled noses as if they were old friends who hadn’t seen each other for quite awhile.
Squirrelly’s partner, Red-back, snapped at one lead dogs from the other team. That dog jumped him. They rolled, entangling their harnesses. Cameron grabbed each of the dogs.
They yelped in pain.
“Arechit, Addle!” he yelled at Red-back, “Or I’ll leave you here! This is your last warning.” The dog whined as if he understood.
Nu Venia ran to untangle their straps. Cameron held onto the dogs until she was finished.
“And you, Essal!”
Squirrelly dropped his head as if ashamed of the trouble he’d caused.
“Return,” Cameron yelled at him.
Red-eared Essal crawled back to his place and lay down.
The five other dogs also quickly returned to their proper place.
The wheel dogs stood at a attention.
Cameron dropped the dogs he was holding in their places. “Stay, Addle!” he yelled, at the red-backed dog.
“Huth, you know better,” he said to the all-white lead dog that had gone to visit with the other team. She and her running mate also returned to their stations.
“One must stand here,” he said to Nu Venia.
Immediately, she obeyed. She would watch over the other team and keep them from fighting and tangling the harnesses.
“One must stand here,” he said to me, pointing to Essal’s team.
Essal’s head popped up. I swear that dog looked as if he were smiling. I wasn’t going near him.
Who did Cameron think he was, anyway, ordering me around? Just because he was a priest, did he expect the world to obey him? I had no intention of helping him or obeying him. It didn’t matter to me if the dogs got tangled and delayed our departure.
“No,” I said.
“I do not understand,” Cameron said. I guess he wasn’t used to anyone defying him.
Too bad. He wasn’t my commander.
“I don’t like dogs,” I said. “I’m not standing by them.”
“To keep untangling them will delay our leaving,” he said.
And the problem with that was . . .?
Essal’s tail wagged excitedly. It was all he could do to lie there. Again, he moved to get up.
“Essal,” Cameron warned him. He dropped back down, but his tail kept wagging while he watched me. “If you stand with Essal, he will be better able to stay in place,” Cameron told me.
Nu Venia was standing between the lead dogs from the other team. Each rested its head against one of her thighs while she scratched their ears. They seemed content and wouldn’t be any more trouble.
“Cameron,” Nu Venia said, “I will watch over all of them.”
Ignoring her, he said to me, “It is best to keep the teams separated.”
She said, “I am able to keep both teams calm.”
She was an appeaser.
I noticed the priests made no move to help.
A fisherman came to Cameron. “I will do as you request.”
With a disciplinary look at me, Cameron handed the team over to the fisherman.
Cameron did his final check of the sleds. He pulled on straps to see if they were secured and pushed on the pack to make sure it wouldn’t shift position.
Essal’s eyes were bright with expectation that I would give him attention.
“Not on your life,” I told him.
Disappointed, he dropped his head on his paws and stayed put.
And then it was time, just like that.
“We go,” Cameron announced. He and the dog at his side started the journey. There were no last good-byes, last hugs or the shake of the hand. He turned and walked off as if he and his dog were going by themselves.
My stomach lurched. This was it. I couldn’t look at my friends. If I did, I’d never be able to leave them.
Nu Venia turned from the lead dogs she’d been watching and followed. The team immediately followed her.
The fisherman stepped to one side of the team he’d been watching. That team fell in line.
All of them—Cameron, Nu Venia, and the two dog teams traveled in one long straight line.
I hesitated. How long before Cameron knew I wasn’t with them? I could go back inside and hide, like a coward. My feet began to move, but not toward the habitat. I stepped in behind the second sled. With head down, my spirit crushed, one slow step after another, I followed.
As I reached the first small rise, I stopped before I crested it and turned to see if anyone was still watching.
Two shadowed figures stood at the edge of the habitat’s roof. I couldn’t see who they were, but I knew one of them was Adumie. Why did he hate me? What had I ever done to him? I should survive just to spite him.
But I hadn’t turned around looking for spite. I was looking for that last memory to take with me, someone who might miss me and remember me while I was gone. I wanted that last look that would comfort me.
The priests were already gone. The fishermen were headed south to open water, surrounded by their dogs. You’d think we were going for a casual walk and would be back in time for dinner. I watched as Jorg and Rona walked away. He draped a consoling arm around her shoulders. She rested her head on his shoulder as they re-entered the habitat.
It wouldn’t take long for him to forget me. It wasn’t as if we were committed. Rona was beautiful. Raven black hair, large doe-like eyes, beautifully full lips, and skin the color of polished mahogany.
She was brilliant, easy to talk to with those cute little southern sayings of hers.
Jorg would be a fool not to fall madly in love with her.
I wasn’t good enough for him anyway. Not like Rona was.
She’d have him all to herself. It wouldn’t take long for him to realize that she was perfect for him. We had never walked with his arm around me like that. We’d never even kissed. Now we never would.
Only Olivia stood watching. She was the last person I would see. She waved. I gave her a half-hearted wave back.
A sick feeling swept over me as I realized the real reason I’d resigned myself to my fate. I deserved this. It was my Karma for being such a horrible person, friend and daughter, not just to Mom, but also to Dad. I deserved every bit of what I was about to get.
I turned from Olivia.
With a complete sense of isolation, I descended the little hill and began my journey over snow-covered land toward a melting ice-covered ocean, to the North Pole of this planet where there were no answers, no hope, no destiny—just nothing.
Last Log entry
Endurance
Faris Assetti
Eleven Years
Akiane tried to beat us, but we have persevered.
We have survived another gravitational storm. The dome stands. There is a volcano in the mountains. It appears to be dormant until the gas planet returns, but it is far from us.
Poisonous gas flowed down the mountain like fog. Those outside didn’t make it back inside. The gas seeped into Endurance through the tunnels. Those in the gardens barely made it to the main buildings and safety.
After the gravitational storm was over, it only took hours for the winds to clear the air outside. But it took weeks for the air in our habitat to clear. Now we will install movable doors over the tunnel entrances to keep the poisonous gas outside.
The giant gas planet will co
me every 11 years. I doubt any of us will ever get used to it. Unfortunately it is something we will have to endure. We have named the event The Storm. Someone has named the gas planet after the Scandinavian God Loki, who brings devastation, which The Storm does.
This world shook as if it might come apart. It literally changed the landscape. Some mountains are taller while others crumbled. The hot springs moved several meters.
In all this time, we’d had no communications from Earth. Besides the one robotic ship, no other ships have come. We have been abandoned and are on our own.
Of the 2,038 that began this journey only 852 survived the landing, more died afterwards. 453 people officially began the colony. As of this morning, with the two new births, we are now 511. We are growing.
This is my last entry. I am resigning my post. I’m not sure what I will do with myself. I can’t go to the beach, put my feet up, and soak in the sun.
But it will no longer be my responsibility to fix problems regarding the building complex. I will no longer arbitrate between disagreeing individuals. My days will be spent wandering the native gardens in the habitat and caring for my children.
I can’t complain; it was my idea to retire and let another lead. It is the right thing to do. I have accomplished far more than I would have ever thought possible. Not only have I been a part of the start of a new world, I have gained friends who are closer than any I knew back on Earth. I have married the most wonderful and loving man in our entire galaxy. My greatest accomplishments have been to give birth to two magnificent girls and a son, and another is soon to arrive.
Life on Earth would never have been so sweet.
New Beginnings
She felt his presence before he spoke.
“I like your braids,” Joe said.
Faris passed a hand over her hair. Cornrows ran from her forehead to the back of her head then dangled freely down her back. “Fatimah did it.”
“I approve,” he said with good-humor.
“So glad you do.” Faris saved her last entry. “I’m ready.” She sighed. She’d been captain for twelve years and leader of Endurance for eleven years. She had accomplished far more than she ever could if she’d remained as captain of Falcon.
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