But he didn’t know if that shift was a good thing or if it would only lead to trouble. Trouble for him and, more important, for his children.
Cole closed his eyes; he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Morning would come too soon, and with morning would come his usual hectic pace. But tomorrow would be different from every other hectic day, he knew it to the pit of his soul. Even if he only had a couple hours of sleep to go on, even if he didn’t have a moment of the day to himself…his life had just taken a sharp turn. No matter what happened, there would be no turning back.
Talk about an effective ungrumpy potion…
Chapter Nine
Lauren found herself humming as she cleaned the kitchen after preparing and eating her poached egg and whole-wheat toast. She’d never felt so good after a very short night’s sleep.
Even more than—okay, perhaps as much as—the physical satisfaction that still hummed through her body, she found herself surprisingly content. She’d tried to convince herself what she and Cole had was nothing deeper than sex, but her mind wasn’t behaving this morning. Maybe Cole Donovan would turn out to be the one, maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe his visits would become a regular thing. Maybe not. Lauren was a woman with a plan. Always. She didn’t like anyone or anything to throw a monkey wrench into her schedule. But Cole was such a nice monkey wrench, she decided she should adjust accordingly.
Go with the flow had sounded great in the heat of the moment, but it was so not her style.
One night together, and she was already wondering where they would go next. Just sex sounded great, in theory; it was such a clean, simple plan. But could she stick to it?
Everything else was very much on track. The book would be out in a few months. Her career was certainly headed in the right direction. Fall was right around the corner, and with it would come cooler weather, college football and pumpkin recipes. Her mind took a turn, veering away from career. She wondered if Cole could dance, if he would attend The Gardens’ Labor Day event as her—wait for it—date.
It wasn’t long before she heard the now-familiar sounds of the Donovan children at play. Instead of being annoyed, she found herself smiling. There was joy in those screams. Children playing outside on a beautiful summer day was a happy part of life. She’d been so closeted in her own little world, so isolated, that she’d forgotten that. As a child she’d been known to romp herself, after all. On a morning where her body hummed in contentment, all was right with the world.
There had been a short-lived but hard rain around dawn that morning, so the ground in her garden would be soft. Perfect for pulling weeds.
After changing into proper gardening clothes—an old pair of shorts, older tennis shoes, thick gloves and a soft T-shirt—Lauren stepped through the kitchen door and into her backyard to pull a few of those weeds and maybe pick some bell peppers and tomatoes, if she deemed them ready upon closer inspection. She couldn’t help but glance into the Donovan yard. Just the boys were out this morning. The water hose had already been put to use. Since the ground had been soaked to begin with, their play left puddles and muddy patches here and there. Hank took a running jump at one of those puddles, landed on his backside and slid. Justin copied his older brother, and they both laughed. The kids were so caught up in their games they didn’t even see her. Meredith wasn’t playing with her brothers this morning. Of course, she was a little old to be jumping into mud puddles for the hell of it. Cole was nowhere to be found. Maybe he was sleeping late. The man really should be completely exhausted. And wasn’t that lovely.
Lauren sat down beside her bell pepper plants and started to gently but firmly pull the few weeds there out by the root. The ground was so soft, the sometimes difficult chore was easy. Her house was always immaculately clean, she took great care with her own hygiene and clothing…but she loved digging in her garden. She loved the feel of her fingers in the dirt, even if she did wear gloves to keep the dirt from getting packed under her fingernails. As she weeded the garden she cast occasional glances toward the house next door. Checking on the kids, she told herself, even though her gaze very often cut to the back door and she wondered if Cole would appear there.
She had the strangest urge to walk to that back door, knock, and ask if Cole could come out to play….
It wasn’t long before Justin saw her. He elbowed his brother in the side and they both ran toward her. The way they ran was unexpectedly beautiful, their little legs pumping, their heads held high. And they smiled. At her.
“Good morning,” she said.
“Whatcha doin’?” Justin asked as he skidded to a stop just a couple of feet away.
“Pulling weeds.” Lauren demonstrated, grabbing a pesky weed at the base and pulling so it came up smoothly, root and all.
Hank looked at the small pile of weeds Lauren had already pulled. “Hey, are any of those poisonous?”
Surprised, Lauren looked him in the eye. “No, but they’re not meant for eating, either. Why do you ask?”
“Just wondering,” he said.
It was Justin who explained. “Hank makes magic potions. Sometimes they even work.”
“Magic potions,” Lauren responded, hiding her amusement. Judging by the expression on Hank’s face, the potions were serious business, not something to be made light of. “You know, that’s very much like cooking. You have to have a recipe and all the right ingredients, and it takes just the right touch to produce the desired results. Maybe one day you’ll be a great chef.”
Hank looked horrified. “Uh-uh. Cooking is only for girls.”
“No, cooking is not only for girls. Some of the best chefs in the world are men.”
“Not in our family,” Justin said, his voice sounding strangely grown-up, at the moment.
Lauren smiled. It sounded like Cole could use some help in the kitchen.
When the back door to the Donovan house opened the movement caught her eye. Cole stepped outside. He was looking for the boys and had found her. Man, had he ever found her. He looked straight at her, unsmiling, big and strong and sexy as she’d ever imagined a man could be. In blue jeans and a very plain shirt, he looked…delicious. How could she not look at him and think about last night?
She was thinking, quite vividly, about last night when something cool and sticky smacked her in the jaw and neck.
Justin stood at the other end of one of her bell pepper plants, one of the younger ones she’d planted so she’d have a continuous crop of peppers until the first freeze. The cool and sticky sensation was a muddy root ball. Mud ran down her neck, under her shirt, into her bra. She had a little bit of it on her lower lip. She tried to dislodge the mud on her lip, but ended up tasting it.
Justin smiled. “I’m helping, see? I didn’t mean to hit you in the face, but it’s a really big weed.”
Hank—realizing exactly what his brother had done—laughed so hard he fell to the ground. Cole was running in her direction at full speed, and for the first time since she’d gotten out of bed this morning, Lauren wondered what the hell she might be getting herself into.
Great. Just great. He begins to think that maybe he can actually have a life of his own, and then he’s reminded why that’s not nearly as easy as it sounds.
“I’m so sorry,” Cole said. Sorry wasn’t enough, but it was all he had at the moment. One cheek, one side of Lauren’s neck and a good portion of her shirt were splattered with mud. Justin was at the one end of a plant. The other end was still dripping mud on Lauren—though the worst of the damage had already been done. “Justin, put that down.” He glared at his middle child. “Hank, stop laughing.” When Hank didn’t immediately do as he’d been told, Cole added, “Now.”
Hank pressed his lips together and fought the laughter. Justin finally dropped the plant to the ground.
“Y’all go get cleaned up. Hose off before you go inside.” They were both muddy from head to toe.
As they ran off, Hank started laughing again.
Cole dropped to his haunches and
reached out to wipe his fingers across Lauren’s face, scraping mud away from her mouth. “I’m sorry.”
Lauren had been so calm last night, when milk had run across her table, when Meredith had been purposely unfriendly. She’d handled the kids so well. Now, however, she was apparently at a loss for words. She sputtered, trying to dislodge the last bit of mud from her lip. Being whacked in the face with a root ball wasn’t quite the same as cleaning up spilled milk.
Opposites attracted, he’d heard. But realistically, did he and Lauren have even a ghost of a chance? Her life was so well-ordered; his was constant chaos. Mud stains weren’t an everyday part of her life; he lived with them daily.
She had only herself to consider; he came with a ready-made family. Any woman who took him on would get the kids as part of the package. Looking at Lauren now, he figured she’d just realized she’d be getting the short end of the stick in that deal.
He wouldn’t be doing her any favors if he tried to make her a part of his life.
“Hey, Dad, get out of the way!”
Cole turned. Hank and Justin stood a few feet away—as far as the hose from the back of the house would reach. Justin still held the nozzle in his hand. They were both dripping wet, but most of the mud had been washed away. “That’s good enough,” he said. “Y’all head in…”
Before he could finish, Justin lifted the nozzle and pulled the trigger, sending a stream of water directly into Lauren’s face. She was unprepared as water went up her nose and into her mouth and down her T-shirt. Cole threw himself into the path of the stream of water, taking the burst to the chest. He was grateful that the kids hadn’t been able to get any closer. If the water pressure had been any stronger, they might’ve knocked Lauren to the ground.
“Stop it!” he shouted.
The spray of water died to a trickle. Justin said, “I was just trying to wash the mud off Miss Lauren.” Hank laughed. Meredith opened the back door and stood there for a moment before she figured out what had happened, and then she started laughing, too.
Last night he’d thought he and Lauren were at the beginning of something potentially big. It had just been washed away in a sea of mud and water from the hose. She wouldn’t ever want to see him again, he figured. No matter how great the sex was…no matter how great she looked even now, sitting on the ground with her T-shirt soaked and her hair plastered to her head.
The boys ran for the house, realizing they needed to escape while they still could.
Lauren looked shell-shocked. She sat there on the ground, soaked to the skin, eyes wide. And then she looked at him and he saw the terror. No, terror was too strong a word. What he saw there, in those warm hazel eyes, was the sad acceptance of the truth.
“This is my life,” he said. “Not every day, and it’s not always mud and water. Sometimes it’s gum and spaghetti. Apple juice and permanent marker. If you’re looking for neat and orderly, that’s not me.”
“I know,” she said, her first words since he’d come out here to rescue her.
“Do you still want to give it a try?” he asked. “I won’t blame you if you run for the hills, tell me never to darken your door again, kick my ass to the curb….” It wasn’t what he wanted, but why should he expect anything more?
Cole really, really wanted Lauren to tell him to quit overthinking, like she had last night. He wanted her to shake off the mud, laugh, tell him it was no big deal. She didn’t.
“I can’t make a decision right now,” she said. “I just…can’t.”
He was tempted to make the decision for her, to tell her they were finished. Finished before they’d even started. But he couldn’t make himself say the words. He wasn’t what she needed, the odds that they could make it work were slim, but he didn’t want to let her go. Not so soon, not after last night.
Last night she’d helped him to discover that even though he’d dedicated himself to his children, he was still a man—still a person—and he wanted more from life. He’d walked away from her with so much hope in his heart. He’d left her house looking at the future as more than being Dad, coach, teacher. Was all that gone now? So soon?
She stood slowly, shaking off water and mud and maybe even her anger. Cole tried to help, but she waved him off. Not a good sign. He watched as she stalked to the back door of her immaculate house. As bad as things were, he enjoyed watching her stalk away. Those hips, the way she held her head, those legs…
At the back door Lauren turned to face him. He half expected her to tell him that she never wanted to see him or any of his offspring again. Instead she said, “Lunch. Noon. Be here on time and come alone.”
Lauren wasn’t sure exactly what she’d say to Cole when he arrived for lunch, so after she’d showered and washed her hair and thrown away her muddy clothes—there was no saving them, she was certain—she directed her attention to the meal. Chicken salad on a bed of lettuce, assorted crackers, fresh fruit and homemade rolls. The rolls were a concession for Cole, since crackers would’ve been enough for her. Since the rest of the meal was pretty much chick food, she decided the least she could do was throw him a roll or two. For dessert there was key lime pie. A pitcher of fresh tea was cooling in the fridge.
She’d put on a cool sundress, and had spent a good five minutes trying to decide between a pair of high heels she hadn’t worn in years and flat sandals. In the end the sandals won. The heels might send the wrong message. To her, if not to Cole.
She liked him so much. More than she’d liked any man for a very long time. Last night had been wonderful from beginning to end. But she wasn’t sure she was ready to take on those kids! Yes, they were occasionally adorable, but they were also occasionally hellacious. She wanted children of her own, one day, but judging by what she’d seen of the Donovan children, did she really want her kids to have Cole’s DNA?
Lauren set the table, using dark green luncheon plates and her green-plaid cotton napkins, which were perfect for a casual lunch. She was really getting ahead of herself, thinking about babies and DNA when she didn’t even know if she and Cole would ever have a normal date, much less a lasting relationship.
He arrived right on time. Like her he’d showered—he smelled of soap and coffee—and had changed into clean khakis and a button-up shirt. He was on his best behavior, but what about his children? The question before her was simple, she realized as she watched him closely.
Was he worth it?
“I grounded the kids,” he said.
Lauren found herself smiling. “Hello to you, too.”
He smiled, and when he did her heart leaped. No, wait, that was not her heart. What leaped inside her was a good bit lower.
“Hello. I grounded the kids,” he said again. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I don’t suppose a little mud ever hurt anyone.” And as she said the words, she believed them to be true. She was making a mountain out of a molehill.
Maybe. When they were alone it was so easy to relegate all their potential future problems to the back of her mind. Didn’t she need to know that they had a future before she let the problems that might come their way eclipse everything else?
Lauren walked to Cole, wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up. She loved his eyes, so blue and intense they took her breath away. She loved the feel of her body against his, in a way she’d never known was possible. He was solid and warm and even though he was a mile taller than she was, somehow they were just right for one another.
“I’ve been thinking about this situation,” she said.
“Me, too. If you’re going to dump me, do it fast and get it over with.” He looked a little worried about that possibility.
“Are you mine to dump?”
“Like it or not, I believe I am.” He didn’t sound as happy about that as she might’ve liked, but at the same time she understood.
“I’m not going to dump you,” she said.
“But? I hear a but there.”
“But we need a list. We need some rules, Co
le.”
Was that a growl from deep in his throat? “I’m not very good with rules.”
“I’ve noticed that.”
“But for you, I’m willing to try.”
She smiled at him, let the frustration of her encounter with a mud ball slip away. Rules. A list. This was her comfort zone. “Okay, first of all…”
“But not yet.”
Cole leaned down and placed his mouth against hers. The sensation, the power of that kiss took her breath away. Every cell of her body responded, and they stood in her kitchen and kissed, rules unset, list unwritten. In the back of her mind a little voice whispered, This isn’t settled, and you know it. But her body and his were more forceful in insisting that, for now, that little detail didn’t matter.
The Husband Recipe Page 12