The table was still nicely set as she’d left it, with cloth napkins and her good china and crystal and silver, but the food sitting in the middle of the table was not hers. A burned tuna casserole; an equally burned apple cobbler; a pan of blackened peas, still in the dented pot, the odor wafting into the air and fighting with the scent of roses. She only knew what was in the casserole and cobbler because Meredith had told her as they’d hidden the dishes in the oven in the Donovan kitchen. It took her a moment to recognize the fourth dish. All the cheese and veggies she’d sculpted into attractive shapes had been scraped into a large bowl, stirred well, and then, apparently, it had all been lightly microwaved.
Mandel sighed. “You’re cute, you say y’all, you haven’t said you won’t dye your hair red and strap on some fake boobs, but honey, you have to be able to actually cook to be in this competition.”
“I can cook.” Lauren followed the two men to the front door. “This is…this is… I can explain.”
Ben was already walking toward the rental car, but Mandel turned to look Lauren in the eye. “Don’t feel bad, honey. Some people don’t perform well under pressure. Reality TV isn’t for you.” With that he turned and walked away.
Lauren sputtered for a minute, and then she yelled after the obnoxious man. “Don’t call me honey, Eddie!” She slammed the door, clenched her fists, and then pounded on the closed door once. And again.
Why would they do this to her? Obviously Justin had been a distraction while Meredith and Hank did the damage. And she’d thought he was being so sweet! She’d been suckered in by a hug and a wide grin. She should’ve known. Again she wondered, why? She’d done all she could to help Meredith, and this was the thanks she got.
As much as she didn’t want to face Cole ever again, she wasn’t about to stand here and let this infraction go.
The kids were up to something. True, the boys were busy packing and making plans for the week, and they were excited about seeing their friends. But there was something else going on. They’d been in and out of the house while he and Janet had made plans for the week. They’d been whispering, sneaking around.
They were in cahoots.
They were all back inside now, the boys gathering together their favorite video games and their bathing suits while Janet tried to convince Meredith to come along, too. Cole wasn’t sure what he’d do with himself if they all decided to go with Janet. With Lauren out of the picture and all the kids gone, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.
Maybe he didn’t know how to be alone anymore. That was a scary thought.
When the doorbell rang, he jumped. What now? When he found Lauren on the front porch he was momentarily blindsided. She could do that to him with a glance, steal his breath, his brain, everything he had left of a soul. She wasn’t holding a muddy baseball or an offering of food, but judging by the expression on her face the coming conversation was more along the lines of “baseball” than “lasagna.”
His eyes met hers, and he saw her hesitation. Some of the wind went out of her sails; some of the heat there cooled. Her voice was definitely cool when she said, “May I speak to your children?”
The whispering. The cahoots. “What have they done?”
“I’d really prefer to take this up with them, if you don’t mind.”
Cole turned and yelled, calling the kids to the front door. They came, along with Janet. When they saw Lauren standing there, they were chagrined—but not surprised. Three heads dropped; they all stared at the carpet.
Lauren walked into the house. She ignored him; she ignored Janet. Her attention was entirely on the children. “Why?” she asked softly. It was the kind of why that could break a man’s heart, if he listened closely for the pain within it.
Meredith’s shoulders rounded, as if she were trying to shrink into herself. Hank shuffled his feet and continued to stare at the carpet. It was Justin who bravely lifted his head and stepped forward. “We’re not going to let some stinky old television man take you away.”
“Yeah,” Hank said softly. “You don’t belong in New York, you belong here. We figured if they thought you’d made the tuna casserole and burned the peas they wouldn’t want you for their stupid show.”
“Oh, no,” Cole whispered. “What have you three done?”
Meredith, the oldest, the one who really should’ve known better, hadn’t said a word. Cole stepped closer, took her chin in his hand and forced her to look at him. He was angry, he was curious, but the tears and the sorrow in his daughter’s eyes softened it all.
“I know what I did was wrong, but I don’t want her to go. None of us do. You don’t want her to leave, do you, Dad?” A couple of fat tears ran down her cheeks.
Janet stepped forward. “Cole, leave the girl alone. Can’t you see she’s upset?”
Cole raised a stilling finger in Janet’s direction. She didn’t like it, but she understood and she backed away.
Meredith spoke to her aunt. “It was Miss Lauren who made lunch today, not me. I tried to cook, but I messed it all up. I burned everything because I was trying to do too much at once.”
Janet raised a hand to her heart. “Oh, thank God.”
Cole’s eyebrows shot up.
“She’s twelve!” Janet explained. “She shouldn’t be a better cook than me. Not yet, anyway.”
Meredith looked at Cole again. “You didn’t answer, Dad. Don’t you want Lauren to stay?”
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” he snapped. “You can’t meddle in people’s lives this way.” He turned to Lauren, who no longer looked spitting mad. She looked as confused as he felt. “I’m so sorry. I’ll call the producer, I’ll explain what happened…”
“Don’t bother,” Lauren said. “The jerk asked me to dye my hair red and play up my Southern accent.” She twisted her lips a little. “Among other things. And he kept calling me honey. I had almost decided to turn down his offer, anyway. Life’s too short to work with jerks who want you to deny who you are.”
“But it’s such a great opportunity…”
“Life is full of great opportunities. The trick is knowing which one to grab and which one to wave at as it passes by.” She gave the kids a smile. “Don’t think you three won’t have to make this up to me. When you get home from your visit to Birmingham I’ll expect you all to help me weed my garden.”
“I can do that!” Justin said enthusiastically.
“Yes, well, we’ll have instructions on how to do the job properly. And you’ll be raking leaves, also, when the time comes,” Lauren added.
“I can make a potion and mail it to the man who was mean to you,” Hank said. “Do you want me to turn him into a frog or just make all his hair fall out?”
“Someone beat you to the punch on that one,” Lauren said. “And you’d still have to help me in the yard, anyway.”
“I’m sorry,” Meredith said. “I just…really didn’t want you to leave. I’ve been so mean to you and you were just nice to me and…and…if you leave I won’t have a chance to make it up to you, not ever, and…” She sniffled, started to cry, and Lauren pushed her way past Cole and wrapped her arms around Meredith.
“It’s all right,” she said. “I’m not mad at you. How could I be mad at you? Yes, what you did was wrong, but you’ve apologized and I can’t ask for anything else. Your heart was in the right place. It always has been. We’ll talk about it later, when you’re not so upset.” She wiped away a tear with her thumb.
Cole didn’t miss the little squeeze Meredith gave Lauren, or, as she moved away, the enthusiasm of Hank’s hug, or the way Lauren braced herself for Justin’s hug, which came complete with his feet flying off the floor while his little arms held on for dear life.
Then she said goodbye and left the house without saying a word to him, or to Janet.
Cole turned to his sister-in-law, half-expecting a ton of sharp, unpleasant questions about this woman who had obviously wormed her way into the family in a very short time. How much did she see?
“Well, that was odd,” Janet said, and then she smiled. “Very interesting. I have a feeling that woman’s a keeper.”
“She’s just a neighbor, Janet,” Cole said halfheartedly.
“Yeah, right,” she said dryly, “that’s why she worked so hard not to so much as glance in your direction.” She turned to the kids. “Let’s finish packing and get on the road!”
Cole was surprised when, not half an hour later, Meredith came out of her bedroom carrying her pink suitcase. The one she used for sleepovers.
“Mer,” he said, “I’m not mad. You don’t have to run off with Aunt Janet.”
“I know,” Meredith said. “But I emailed Hayley and she said we could spend some time together this week, so if you don’t mind…”
“Of course I don’t mind.”
“Besides, while we’re gone you can ask Lauren out on a date.”
“Not a good idea.”
“Why not? You won’t have to worry about a babysitter while we’re gone, and she said she’s not going to New York.”
He missed them already. Not that he would ruin Meredith’s week with her friends because he’d be lonely. “I’ll sleep late and plan my classes and watch movies. Who needs a date?” He winked at Meredith as Janet walked by and answered.
“You do. In the worst way.”
Cole had always thought that Janet had made herself a big part of their lives because she was controlling. He’d always imagined she’d have a fit if he ever started dating again. No woman could ever take the place of her sister, could ever be mother to their children. And a woman he was serious about? Forget it. Talk about full-out war.
“I don’t need…” he began.
Janet smiled at Meredith and asked her if she’d go pack up a piece of leftover chocolate cake for Uncle Fred, and as soon as Meredith was gone Janet’s smile vanished. She hissed at him. “Do you really think you’re doing these kids a favor by not having a life of your own? Do you really think it’s healthy for them to watch you bury yourself in being a parent until there’s nothing left for you?”
Cole felt his insides coil. Even though he’d had similar thoughts lately, this was his problem. His life. “Janet, this is none of your…”
“None of my business, yeah, I know,” she snapped. “But the children are my business because they’re Mary’s kids, her babies. I realize that I sometimes get too involved, and I also know you tried to get a teaching job in Birmingham and it just didn’t work out. If I’ve been difficult, it’s because I miss the kids. Darn it, Cole, I even miss you now and then. In the end we want the same thing. We want the kids to be all right, we want them to be happy.” She wrinkled her nose. “They’re going to grow up with a very warped sense of what an adult’s life is supposed to be like if you don’t get off the stick and start living again. Now, I don’t know this Lauren at all. She’s pretty, she’s a good cook, the kids obviously adore her…but that’s not enough. But if you really like her…”
“The timing is wrong. The kids need me full-time.”
Janet sighed; she did that a lot. “I knew a guy once, a friend of Fred’s. He was in sorta the same situation, only his wife ran away with some other man, leaving him with a couple of children who were very young at the time. He did exactly what you’re doing. He devoted his life to his children, turning down a couple of interesting romantic opportunities. There was one woman, I’m certain he loved her, but he let her go. The kids grew up, the guy grew old alone, the woman he loved moved on…and he died of a broken heart. Alone. No one came to his funeral but the kids, because he didn’t have a life beyond being a father.”
Janet stared beyond Cole’s shoulder. She was such a bad liar.
“Next you’ll tell me the woman he loved danced on his grave wearing a red dress.”
Her lips pursed and she blushed. “Okay, so I made it up. But it could happen. That man could be you, Cole. Mary would not have wanted this for you, any more than you would’ve wanted it for her if the situation was reversed.”
The conversation was cut short when Meredith returned, Hank and Justin on her heels. They were ready to go.
Cole got kisses and hugs all around, then stood on the porch and watched as the kids threw their suitcases into the trunk. Janet opened the door to the backseat, but the kids skirted around her and ran to Cole. More hugs, he figured. They hadn’t been apart for this long in…well, forever.
But they stopped short of hugging distance. It was Hank who spoke, Hank who lifted his chin, stared into Cole’s eyes and said in a very serious voice, “We did our part, now it’s your turn.”
“My turn to do what?”
“Make her like you,” Justin said.
Meredith looked toward Lauren’s house. “Take her to a movie that’s not a cartoon. No talking animals, either.” She pinned dark eyes on Cole’s face. “And if you take her out to eat, don’t go anywhere that has a happy meal.”
Cole smiled; dating advice from his twelve-year-old daughter.
Hank leaned in close and revealed the secret location of his magic wand and the supersecret ingredients for his ungrumpy potion. Just in case. And then he whispered, with the weight of the world in his young voice, “Go get her, Dad.”
Chapter Fourteen
Lauren went home, closed and locked the door behind her, and went straight to her office. There was a huge mess in the kitchen to take care of, and it wasn’t something she could let sit for very long. It would take days to get the stench of burned food out of her house! She didn’t bother to turn on her computer; she just sat in the chair at her desk, took a deep breath and cried.
She didn’t cry about some stupid show she’d never been sure she wanted, anyway, and she certainly wasn’t crying about the mess in her kitchen and dining room. No, she cried because her heart was broken for what had been lost. Cole, yes, but it was more than that. She’d been studiously avoiding falling in love for years, after her disastrous engagement had ended, because she didn’t want to deal with a broken heart. She didn’t want to give any man that power over her, not ever again. And now here she was, her heart broken not by one man but by an entire family.
They weren’t hers; they had never been hers.
She didn’t cry for very long. What was the point? Lauren wiped away her tears, blew her nose and lost herself in disposing of the inedible food the Donovan children had placed on her table, as well as the burned food from her own oven. Meredith had probably been the one to turn on the broiler. The child, learning to cook, had probably made that mistake at some point and knew what the result would be. The veggies and cheese in the microwave…that was Hank, she just knew it. It hadn’t taken them a full two minutes to destroy the meal she’d planned for Mandel and the cameraman, Ben, he with the long hair and no last name.
Lauren knew she should eat something, but even though she hadn’t eaten for hours she wasn’t hungry. The thought of eating made her stomach turn. She tried to blame her lack of appetite on the disgusting food she had to dispose of, but she knew in her heart that her inability to eat went much deeper.
It didn’t take very long to get the kitchen and dining room in order. She should be furious with the kids, but knowing why they’d done what they’d done she couldn’t manage to rouse any real anger. Maybe she didn’t belong in that family, maybe she and Cole had nothing left…but they’d come so close to something special, it broke her heart to know it was over.
While Lauren was taking out the garbage, she heard car doors slamming. Sounded like it was coming from the Donovan house. Aunt Janet, she supposed, heading home to Birmingham. Were the boys really going with her? For all she knew that had been a tale from beginning to end, something to give Justin an excuse to come to her front door and distract her. Then again, that was a lot of slamming doors for one woman.
After that all was quiet. Lauren half expected the ring of the doorbell, or a knock on the door, or a ball bouncing against the side of her house or rolling off the roof. But everything was perfectly quiet, just the
way she liked it.
Go get her, Dad. Good advice. Too bad Cole didn’t have a clue how to get that done.
Looking back, Cole could see that he had panicked when he’d told Lauren they couldn’t see each other anymore. He’d convinced himself it was for her own good, that they didn’t want the same things, that she would be better off without him. But what two people did want exactly the same things from life?
The truth was he loved her, and it terrified him. With love there was also pain that came out of left field and smacked you to the ground. With love came loss. One minute everything was fine and the next someone had yanked the rug out from under you and you were facedown, stunned, heartbroken. That kind of pain could really knock the wind out of you. He couldn’t allow himself to fall in love again, to take the chance that he’d lose…
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