by Joy Brooks
Ian set the phone down on the table. “I’m sorry.” He strode back to the couch and motioned at her shirt and shoes. “Why did you do that? I mean, I thought we had something going.”
Katie stood and placed her hands on the side of his face. She had to force the words from her throat. Naked desire flashed in Ian’s eyes, and she wanted nothing more than to lie back on the couch and continue what they had started.
“We did, but I think it would be best if we stopped for now.”
“Why?”
“Ian, I just don’t think that we should do this right now.” She ached to take those words back. She wasn’t sure why she was stopping him. After all, she wanted him as much as he did her.
Looking into his eyes, the realization that she cared deeply for him sank in. Her heart was stopping her. She wanted her first time with him to be special. Making love on his couch and then him taking her home didn’t constitute special.
“I don’t understand, Katie. You were just as aroused. What the hell happened? How could the phone ringing turn you cold?”
Katie dropped her hands. “It didn’t turn me cold. I’m not opposed to us being together. I just don’t think tonight is the right time.”
“Again, I ask you why not? What’s the difference between tonight and some other night?”
Katie could easily read the frustration and puzzlement in his stare. She could understand why he thought she turned from hot to cold. The tightening of his lips and the hard glare still in his eyes also told her he was angry. Maybe she should take the plunge and tell him the truth. She would get an answer to how he felt about her. What if he drew away from her? What if he wasn’t ready for a relationship?
Ian suddenly threw up his hands. “I’m not going to beg you, Katie. Let’s go. I’m taking you home.”
“Ian! I’m not asking you to beg me.” He strode away from her to the door. “Please, Ian. You don’t understand.”
He was out the door before she finished speaking. She had to hurry to catch up with his long strides.
She wanted to say something, but his manner didn’t encourage it. Katie followed him down the hall and out the kitchen door to the garage. He opened the door for her and didn’t say a word as she slid into the seat. When Ian slid behind the wheel, he still didn’t say anything.
Katie tried to keep her own temper in check. She didn’t have a right to be angry with him. She’d pulled him to her. The tension built on the drive to her apartment because neither spoke. It was a relief when he finally parked.
Ian walked around to open her door. She knew better than to open it out of spite. Somehow, she needed to get their relationship back on good footing. She didn’t want to end the day on a bad note.
“Ian, I had a wonderful time today. I, ah, I’m sorry about tonight. I know it must seem as if I’m some sort of tease, but please believe me, I didn’t mean it to be so. The truth is,” she dropped her gaze, “I did want you. I do want you still.”
“If that’s so, then tell me why you stopped it.”
She raised her head and looked him in the eye. “I want the first time for us to be more than sex on a couch.”
Katie could visibly see him relax. The tension went out of his shoulders.
“We could have gone to the bedroom.”
“No, I don’t think you understand. I want it to mean something. Ian, I don’t know how you feel about getting involved with someone. I don’t want to be a one-night stand with you. I don’t want to be used in that way.”
Ian nodded. “I see.” He put his hands to her shoulders. “Katie, I don’t know where our relationship will go, but I can tell you, you would never be a one-night stand to me. I would never use you like that.” He dropped his hands. “If it’s okay with you, let’s just see where this goes. I only ask you to stop me before we get into a situation like we did tonight if you have any qualms about not going through with it.”
“Okay, I don’t think we will have a problem though. We’ve cleared the air now.” She took a step closer to him. “Are we still on for tomorrow?”
“Yes. I’ll pick you up at nine.” He took her arm. “I’ll walk you to the door, and then I’m going home to take a very cold shower.”
Chapter 6
Katie waited anxiously the next morning. She told Ian they had cleared the air, but she wondered if they truly had. When she had crawled into bed last night, she ached to feel Ian’s arms around her. She did want their first time to mean something, but her body didn’t agree with her mind. In some respects, she cursed Frank for calling when he had, and in others, she was glad he did.
The doorbell rang, and Katie wiped her palms down the side of her jeans as she opened the door. Ian’s appearance astounded her. His jeans hugged his hips and his dark t-shirt showed his tight abs. She had to fight back the urge to run her hands over him. His cool demeanor stalled her. The opening greeting on Ian’s part was a smile and a quick peck of his lips against hers.
“Are you ready?”
“Ah, yes, I’ll get my purse.”
Katie walked beside Ian to his car, and he didn’t speak. Nervousness rose in her. He wasn’t ignoring her, he remained aloof, and that bothered her. She hoped he would loosen up, but as the day went on, she soon learned he wouldn’t. She hadn’t expected this response from him after they parted last night. It worried her, but she didn’t know what to say to him. Besides, this could have nothing to do with her, maybe it was something about his brother’s visit tonight.
They finished their shopping. The swing set was on its way to Kyle’s little friend. During lunch, they stayed on casual conversation. Ian dropped her off at her apartment early afternoon. Ian walked Katie to her door and when she invited him in, he refused.
“I’m sorry, Katie, but I need to get home. I’m taking Kyle to see Santa at the mall.”
He leaned toward her and at first his kiss was hesitant, but then his arms circled around her and it deepened. Katie clung to him and when he pulled back, she didn’t want to let him go.
Ian released her and left without another word. Katie watched him go, filled with dread. Would she ever see him again? If he was walking away from her because she didn’t go all the way with him, then it was for the best. She shook herself. No, she wouldn’t think like that.
****
Two days passed, and Katie found herself constantly looking at the telephone. Why hadn’t Ian called her? Would he call her? Questions rushed through her mind. What if she called him? What excuse could she use? She had no reason to, not really. Would it be feasible to call and ask if he had everything ready for Christmas? No, she shopped with him, she knew he finished.
Katie flopped down on her couch, dejection settling within her. She jumped when the phone rang. She stared at the phone and let two more rings sound before she reached for it. Please be Ian. A slow smile spread across her face when she saw Ian’s name lighted on the phone.
“Hello.”
“Katie, its Ian.”
“It’s good to hear from you. Are you set for Christmas? How is Kyle?” Katie grimaced. She had to stop rambling.
“Kyle’s fine. He’s asks about you. As a matter of fact, Kyle and I were wondering if you would be interested in coming over to help us decorate our Christmas tree.”
“You bought a tree?”
Katie heard the hesitation in his voice.
“Yes. Kyle asked for one and I didn’t see a reason to deny him. It’s about time we celebrated Christmas as we should.”
“I don’t want to interfere with that, Ian. You should do this together.”
“Katie, you are one of the reasons I felt I could do this. Please, we would love for you to come over.”
Her heart swelled in heady delight. “I would love to help. What time?”
“Now, if you can.”
“Okay, I’m on my way.”
Ian’s voice lowered, and she heard the sensuality in his words. “I look forward to seeing you. Be careful, I’ll see you soon.”
****
Katie turned the key and the engine of her car shut off. Ian had left the garage door open for her. She stepped out of the car and dropped her keys in her purse. Before taking another step, the kitchen door opened and Kyle stood in the doorway.
“She’s here, Daddy!”
Katie smiled. “Hi, Kyle, it’s good to see you.”
“I’m so glad you could come. When I asked Daddy to call you, he said you might not want to come. I told him to call you anyway. I’m sure glad I did.”
Ian appeared behind his son and laughed. “Kyle, do you have to tell everything?”
“Yes, Daddy, you always say to tell the truth.”
Ian pulled his son back so Katie could enter the kitchen. “We have to have a talk, son, about when not speaking is the appropriate thing to do.” Ian’s gaze shifted to her. “I’m glad you came.”
Ian closed the door behind her, and Kyle grasped her hand, pulling her after him. “Come see our tree. It’s so pretty. We got some lights and some other decorations. We even have a beautiful angel to go on top. I told Daddy that it was like having Mommy on top of the tree. She can watch us.”
Katie blinked back the tears threatening to flow at those words. “That’s a wonderful thought, Kyle. I’m sure your Mommy is always looking after you.”
“Daddy says she is.”
Katie followed Kyle into the large living room to view the cedar tree sitting in front of the wide-paned windows. It had to be an eight-foot tree. The scent of the tree invaded the room. She peered at all the decorations spread across the sectional couch. Ian had gone all out. There were more than just tree decorations. Katie dropped Kyle’s hand and picked up a Santa statue holding a huge bag.
Kyle reached up and flipped a switch on it. “Listen to this.”
A loud, “Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas,” belted out of the Santa.
“Daddy got some more too.” Kyle proceeded to show her every decoration they had purchased. After she viewed each item, they found a place for it.
Katie glanced over at Ian, who was placing the lights on the tree. He grinned at her and she couldn’t help but give him a wide smile back.
“Where do you think this should go?” Kyle held up eight tiny reindeer and Santa in his sleigh.
“Well,” Katie put her hands on her hips, “how about on that table by the doorway?”
Kyle ran off to place the treasure on the table. Ian spoke as he placed the last strand. “Anyone interested in some pizza? We could have it delivered.”
“That sounds great! Can we get pepperoni and some wings too?”
“I think we could manage that.” He turned to Katie. “Does that sound all right with you? Would you prefer something else?”
“No, that sounds wonderful. I haven’t had pizza in a while.”
“I’ll call it in.”
Once Ian made the call, all three stood in front of the tree. Ian spoke. “Now, we decorate the tree.” He picked up a red ball. “Well, don’t just stand there, get busy.”
By the time the pizza arrived, they were only half finished.
“I’m having loads of fun, Daddy.” Kyle said as he stuffed another bite in his mouth.
Ian’s gaze shifted to Katie. “So am I, son.”
Was it her imagination, or did she actually see a strange light in his eyes. She almost choked on the soda sliding down her throat. She swallowed hard and said, “I am having a wonderful time, too.”
“Daddy, can we turn on the TV? You said there were some Christmas cartoons on tonight.”
“Sure, but before we sit down to watch it, we have to finish the tree.”
“Okay.”
Kyle shot across the room and grabbed the remote. Soon the room filled with the sounds of Christmas. With this added distraction, it took them some time to finish the job of decorating the tree.
They finally stood back and admired their work. The blinking colored lights sent shadows across the room. Kyle’s eyes were wide with wonder.
“It’s so beautiful, Daddy. I’m so glad we have our own tree this year.”
Ian put his hand on his son’s shoulder. “So am I.” He turned Kyle to the couch. “Let’s watch some TV.”
Kyle dropped on the couch and curled his legs under him. Ian sat down and patted beside him. “Sit down, Katie.”
She snuggled into him when his arm went around her shoulder. Katie never felt so comfortable. She could imagine what it would be like to be Ian’s wife and Kyle’s new mother. Should she dare dream? She never wanted the moment to end.
****
Ian’s hand rubbed Katie’s shoulder. “I had better put Kyle to bed. Don’t move; I’ll be right back.”
Katie waited while Ian picked up his sleeping son to take him to bed. The Christmas tree lights filled the room with such festiveness she couldn’t help but smile. Happiness filled her for Ian and Kyle. This was a big positive step for Ian. Maybe this meant his heart was on the mend.
Ian stepped back into the room. He held a sprig in his hand. Katie’s eyes widened. It was mistletoe.
He strode over to her and took her hand, pulling her to her feet. “I kept this for now.” Ian held the sprig over her head. “I do believe I’m owed a kiss.”
“I do believe you are.”
Ian’s arms wrapped securely around her and drew her against him. His lips met hers, and he didn’t hold back. His mouth devoured hers, and his tongue glided across her lips, demanding entry. She didn’t deny him. Her mouth opened, and his kiss deepened. Katie pressed against him. Her hands slid across his back. One hand entwined in his hair, holding him to her.
He ground his hips against her, revealing his desire. Katie didn’t pull away from him. Love for him swarmed through her. She wanted this. She wanted him and Kyle.
Katie suddenly, without question, knew what her Christmas wish was. She wanted to be a permanent part of this family. She loved Ian with all her heart.
Something was different about him tonight. She didn’t know what it was, but it warmed her heart. She wondered what brought about this change. He was more at ease than she had ever seen him, more carefree and open.
Ian’s mouth left hers and he guided her back onto the couch. He ran his fingers through her dark hair, and they ended up cupping her face.
“Katie, will you spend Christmas with Kyle and me?”
She blinked in surprise, not so much at his words, but at the love she saw in his eyes. Could it be?
“Yes, I would love to.”
“There’s something I want to tell you. I want to explain why I’ve been a little distant to you. I also just need someone to talk to right now. Katie, will you listen to me?”
Katie could tell from his expression how hard this was for him to say. He admitted to needing someone. She didn’t think this was something he would easily admit.
“Yes, you can talk to me. I will listen to anything you have to say.”
Ian nodded. “First off, I want to let you know how much you mean to me. I wanted to ask you out after we first meet, but I was afraid to. I had so many issues to deal with and I let them rule my life. After my wife died, I shut myself away because I couldn’t let it go. I can now. I’ve finally came to realize that my life can’t stop. My wife wouldn’t have wanted that. Besides, Kyle needs his father.”
Tears welled in Ian’s eyes. “Talking to Frank was something I should have done years ago. Katie, Frank was driving the night my wife was killed. I was working late. When she called, I had stepped out of the office for a moment. She called Frank looking for me. He told her he would pick her up. A car pulled out in front of him. He had been drinking. I blamed him even though the police report said he wasn’t legally drunk. The other night, I let him tell me what happened. I think that talk healed us both. I finally forgave him. I will never forget what happened, but I
can move on now.”
His fingers brushed through her hair again. “Katie, once I set my past aside, I realized how much I love you. I couldn’t hide from it anymore. I want you in Kyle’s and my life.”
Katie brushed away the tears that fell down her cheeks. “I want to be with you and Kyle. I love you so much, Ian.”
Ian leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers.
A shout of exhilaration filled the room, causing the pair to jerk apart.
“Yes!”
Katie and Ian stared at Kyle in the doorway. He had a grin spread wide across his face.
“Santa answered my Christmas Wish.”
“What? Why are you up?” Ian asked in bewilderment.
Kyle ran over and hugged his father, and to Katie’s delight, he hugged her too. He hugged his father again.
“I wished for you to be happy again, Daddy.”
Ian crushed his son to him. “Oh, Kyle, I love you so much! Don’t you know you make me happy?”
Kyle stood back from his father. “I know you do, but you need more than just me. You need a wife and I need a new Mommy.” He turned back toward the doorway. As he started from the room, he said over his shoulder, “I picked her for you, Daddy.”
Ian stared at the empty doorway. “I didn’t know he felt like that.”
Katie put her hands to the sides of his face and drew him toward her. She lay back bringing him with her. “It’s getting late. I really hate to drive home tonight.”
Ian’s body covered hers. “I don’t see a problem. Frankly, I hadn’t intended for you to go home tonight anyway. I expect you’ll be spending a lot of time here.” His lips met hers in a lingering kiss. “I don’t believe we’ll be interrupted for the rest of the night. I imagine Kyle is on the phone with my mother right now and she is advising him to go to sleep.” Ian spoke against her lips. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”
“Yes, I’m more than okay with this. I want to be with you, Ian. I love you, body and soul.”