by Dave Hazel
“I don’t think so,” Mykal laughed. He knew their secret tormented the others. Mykal and Larry laughed because of the prank they had planned. The others laughed with them because Mykal and Larry’s laughter was so infectious. “When I went by him this morning, I could smell it a little. I’m surprised he hasn’t found it, unless that’s him that stunk,” Mykal said.
Larry threw his head back and gave a loud belly laugh. Everyone in the hall stopped to look at Larry’s disruption. “I can’t wait,” Larry whispered and giggled quietly.
Boris looked frustrated, but continued to laugh. “What the hell’s going on?”
“Don’t worry about it.” Larry stopped him. “Myk, did you get a chance to talk to Jake?” He asked secretly, though the others could hear him.
“Yeah, he’s gonna do it. No problem there.”
“Come on guys, what’s so funny,” Sam demanded. “I wanna know what I’m laughing at.”
“We ain’t sayin’ nuttin’,” Larry said. His large body rocked with amusement. He raised his hand for Mykal to high five him. His increased laughter brought tears to his eyes.
“Come on Myk,” Boris pleaded. “Tell us what’s going on.”
“Yeah, I wanna know why I’m laughing,” Kurt added.
“I can’t, but I’ll say this. During the inspection, keep your eyes on ‘Shit Eater’ Putman.”
“Putman? Why? What’s gonna happen?” Kurt laughed.
“That’s all I’m saying.” Mykal held up his hand to stop the questions.
Larry wiped his eyes. “Just watch. You’ll see. It’s gonna be hilarious. Trust us.”
“Everyone fall in for guard mount!” Jake’s voice boomed through the hall way as the squad leaders and ranking NCOs filed out of the conference room. Jake stood 6’6” and weighs 165 pounds soaking wet. He struggled to keep weight on his thin frame, but he always ate like a horse. His black hair had touches of grey at his temples and sideburns earning him the title of “old man” amongst his younger friends. Jake was at least a decade older than them, but “age is just a number,” he spouted regularly. He used to run Denny’s squad until he got promoted to Assistant Supervisor.
“Remember, keep your eyes on Shit Eater,” Larry whispered as they filed into the open room adjoining the armory.
“We gotta stop laughing, or they’ll know we had something to do with it,” Mykal chuckled his warning to Larry.
“Whadda they gonna do? Make me a cop and send me to Minot?” Larry’s Boston accent rang with joy. “That’s like telling a man on death row that they’re gonna kill him twice.”
“I’m still laughing, but I don’t know what the hell I’m laughing at,” Kurt complained.
7.
“Alright, what the hell did you guys do now?” Denny tried to sound angry while he, Mykal, Larry, Boris and Kurt walked away from Building 631. He fought to suppress the laughter that got the best of him. “The damn lieutenant is pissed off at me and I wasn’t even in there during the inspection. What the hell did you guys do?”
“What makes you think we did anything?” Larry toyed with him.
“Because when I was coming back from filing some paperwork, the LT stormed out of the guard mount room, and as soon as he saw me he got his finger in my face and said, ‘I’ll deal with you out in the field.’ When I tried to ask him what was wrong, he was pissed and he said, ‘It’s that damn bunch of animals you have under you.’ Then he took off like a bat outta hell and went straight for the commander’s office. Tell me, what did you guys do, so I can get ready for the ass chewing I don’t deserve.”
“We didn’t do anything,” Mykal lied causing a new round of laughter.
“Did you guys do something to disrupt the inspection? Cuz you know what a perfectionist he is about inspections. Please tell me you guys didn’t do anything during the inspection,” he moaned as they reached the rear of the vehicle. “At least tell me so I can be prepared.”
“Okay, okay.” Mykal playfully broke down. “You’re bringing tears to my eyes with that silly puppy dog look. We’ll tell ya what happened,” he said and knew they could trust Denny. “Me and Larry told Jake that Boris has been having a hard time getting his gas mask on in the required nine seconds for gas alert exercises.”
“So Myk asked Jake to pull a gas exercise before the inspection,” Larry said and wiped tears from his eyes again. “But this wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. Jake was supposed to do it before the LT came into the room or after the inspection when Edwards left the room.”
“But Jake musta told the LT about it,” Mykal continued. “Cuz Jake called us all to attention like normal, but he didn’t call the gas exercise. So I thought he might have forgotten about it. All of a sudden the LT jumps into the room trying to take everyone by surprise, and he’s got this stop watch in his hands, and he yells, “Gas! Gas! Gas! Get those gas masks on now!” Mykal stopped to let his laughter out.
“Everyone is bustin’ their asses to get their gas masks on.” Boris puffed on his cigarette.
“Except for our squad,” Kurt said. “We were all watching Shit Eater Putman.”
“When Putman puts his gas mask on,” Larry continued through his laughter. “He yells, ‘Oh no, no, no,’ and then he rips his mask off and starts gagging and pukes all over the place.”
“It was nasty,” Boris said and shook his head with a distasteful expression. “He was spewing all over, just like in that ‘Exorcist’ movie,” he exaggerated. “It was disgusting.”
“Our whole squad is standing there laughing our asses off,” Mykal doubled over at the picture in his mind. “Then Putman drops to the floor, puking and heaving his guts out. He got it all over his uniform and boots, and for some strange reason it looked like there was some blood and fur on his face,” he paused. “But the smell, oh my--” Mykal faked gagging.
“What? What happened?” Denny asked and looked confused.
“First, Jake’s face was white as a ghost,” Larry continued. “He’s standing there looking like he’s lost. Edwards starts yelling, ‘What the hell is going on?’ Then he screams at Jake, ‘What is this?’ Then the LT yelled for someone to help Shit Eater up. Sgt Black and Doc helped him to the latrine and he got puke on their boots.”
“Everyone else takes their masks off to see what was going on, and Putman stunk up the room,” Boris said and shook his head again. “I thought I was gonna puke too.”
“Not only did it smell like puke, it also smelled like something dead,” Kurt interjected.
“I don’t understand.” Denny said.
“Denny, you remember two tours ago when you woke up and came on duty and there was that muskrat head in the desk drawer?”
“How the hell could I forget?” Denny giggled. “It scared me so bad that I fell backwards off the chair. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. That scared me as bad as that time when you guys put the live rabbit in the classified material cabinet. When I opened it to inventory the material it jumped out at me. I thought I was gonna shit myself over that,” he laughed with them, now that it was behind them.
“Well, now you know where the rest of the muskrat body went to,” Larry’s Boston accent was magnified by his loud laughter. “We cut it up into a hundred pieces and stuck it into Putman’s gasmask. It’s been dead for a couple of weeks now, so you know that stuff that got all over his face was ripe.”
“He had decaying guts, blood and fur and the smell of a dead animal all over his face from inside that gasmask,” Mykal roared.
Denny sighed. “That’s why the damned LT was so ticked off.”
“I didn’t even get to do my thing.”
“What thing was that Kurt?” Denny asked as if he couldn’t believe his ears.
“If the LT would have finished the inspection, I was going to do this,” he stepped closer and breathed into Denny’s face.
“Oh crap!” Denny gagged and backed away. “What the hell is that?”
“Garlic and onions, for when he gets nos
e to nose,” Kurt laughed.
“You better never do that,” Denny gasped and he waived his hands in front of his face to make the odor disappear. “That reeks. It smells like you drank from a dirty toilet?”
“You ain’t kidding. I had to stand beside the big goof and I could smell it as if he was breathing on me,” Boris said. “Now we gotta ride out in the field with this smelly bastard.”
“You better get some gum or something,” Denny ordered.
“Denny, you shoulda been there,” Larry continued laughing.
“I’m glad I wasn’t. I’m already gonna catch hell from the LT. And the worst part about it is, the little meeting we had this morning, was a gripe session about how the squad leaders don’t show enough supervision and control over their squads. That’s why they wanna babysit us.”
“Who’s driving out?” Larry asked
“I am,” Kurt answered quickly shaking the keys.
“Oh no,” Denny sighed. “This day is gonna be the life of me. No screwing around Kurt, and I mean it. No speeding or anything. The LT and all the others are going to be leaving the same time we are and he’ll know if you’re going just a little too fast. After all that happened today, I wouldn’t be surprised if he comes out to watch our changeover to see if we’re doing everything by the book. So, cross every T, and dot every I. Do everything by the book.”
“And since Mansfield didn’t get this last tour off, you know he’s gonna be a prick to deal with this tour,” Larry chimed in.
“So who are the new guys that are coming out with us?” Boris asked.
“We’re not getting any new guys. Kim Nelson and Franklin Perry are coming out with us,” Denny explained. “Edwards was so pissed off, and he was sure that you guys had something to do with Putman, that he said he never wants a new airman to come near us. His exact words were, ‘I’ll never allow green troops to have such a negative influence destroy their morale.’”
“Screw him,” Larry shot back as they all passed their M-16 rifles and web belts with ammunition to the rear of the nine passenger vehicle.
“We’d be the best thing for new guys,” Kurt laughed.
“Drive over to the other side of the parking lot so we can pick up Nelson and Franklin.”
“Man, I can’t stand either Franklin or Nelson,” Boris sighed.
“Yeah, Franklin is just a big baby,” Kurt grunted.
“Nelson is alright,” Mykal said. “But I just don’t wanna work with him.”
“I don’t like the guy,” Larry said. “He only seems alright cuz he’s two-faced. He changes to act like those he’s around. When he’s around Ski, and those other religious fanatics, he acts all religious. When he’s around the LT he acts all ‘G.I. Joe’ and that gung ho military shit. When he’s around the black dudes he tries to act just like them and when he’s around us he tries to act all wild and crazy, like we do. I just don’t trust the guy. Know what I mean?”
“Yeah, but he’s still okay,” Mykal replied. “He’s a chameleon.”
Once Nelson had his belongings loaded into the rear of the vehicle, a heavy tension could be felt inside the nine passenger Suburban. Mykal thought Nelson remained silent either because he knew he was the outsider or he sensed the group didn’t like him.
“Kurt, we have to go to the main gate and wait there to leave,” Denny said while Franklin Perry loaded his equipment into the vehicle.
“Why, what the hell’s going on now? I wanna get on the road.”
“Two reasons. Like I said earlier, we have to wait for Edwards and the rest of the Crew, because that idiot wants us all to leave base together like one big happy family,” Denny answered. “But the main reason, while I was filing the paperwork, we all got briefed on a convoy going out to the Golf flight area, and for some unknown reason, Wing Security and Transportation Control doesn’t want anyone getting in their way. No one is allowed to move till they say so. All military traffic is on hold. Not just us.”
Boris peaked over his Guns and Ammo magazine. “That’s odd. Never heard that before.”
Kurt shook his head. “It’s always something. That’s the damned Air Force, hurry up and wait. I oughta get myself kicked outta this stupid military stuff.”
“Do it Kurt, cuz you’d be doing me a favor,” Denny kidded.
After sitting at the main gate for approximately twenty minutes Larry complained. “Why the hell didn’t the convoy leave at the regular time? They’re always scheduled to leave early. Damn it, I wanna get out there and get to sleep. Me, Myk and Boris gotta stay up all night.”
“I don’t really know what was going on,” Denny answered. “But I did over hear some back office pukes, and they said something about an ‘emergency convoy’, but who the hell knows what that could be? I’m just glad they’re going to Golf site and not our site.”
“They probably figured they got a dud out there and they’re going to replace it,” Franklin Perry suggested but the others ignored him.
Franklin was going to be twenty-one in three months, but to look at his acne covered face, and to watch his actions one would find it hard to believe he was older than fifteen. He sickens those around him when he habitually picks at his pimples until he draws blood from his face or neck. Usually, without washing his hands, he unconsciously bites his finger nails.
Franklin dislikes Kurt Jones the most. He outranks Kurt by six months, but it was always Kurt telling Franklin what to do. Franklin never resisted because he knew Mykal, Larry, Boris and even Denny will all side with Kurt. Franklin was also intimidated by Kurt’s size.
“Make sure you pay attention to the radio,” Denny turned to Kurt after looking at his watch. “That was another thing the LT brought up in our meeting. He said he doesn’t want anyone turning the radios off anymore cuz he can never get in touch with anyone. He said he might start doing radio checks and whoever doesn’t respond is going to pay for it.”
“Man, that guy’s a real friggin jerk,” Boris moaned.
“He pisses me off,” Larry hissed his anger. “He’s really getting on my nerves.”
“Who does he think he is?” Boris laughed playfully. “He ain’t nothing but a second lieutenant. Bottom of the barrel as far as officers go.”
“He’s bottom of the barrel as far as people go too,” Kurt chuckled.
“Yeah, he’s not too cool,” Nelson said, obviously trying to fit in.
8.
“No speeding Kurt,” Denny warned him once the Crew departed the main gate of the base. “Edwards and the other idiots are gonna be right behind us.”
“Okay, okay. No problem Sarge,” Kurt said and suddenly squealed the tires as he turned onto the highway.
“Damn it Kurt, what the hell did I just say,” he barked and pulled his beret over his face. “I’m going to sleep. I don’t know nuttin’.”
The others wanted to sleep as well but the constant static and complaining over the radio prevented the routine nap.
“Kurt, turn that damn radio off,” Larry snapped. “I have to stay up all night.”
“No,” Denny stirred from his light sleep, keeping Kurt’s hand from the off button.
“At least turn it down some,” Mykal suggested.
“Alright, turn it down a little,” Denny agreed.
Kurt kept turning the volume down by small increments until the static could no longer be heard. When they reached the city of Minot, Kurt managed to put some distance between the others by running through a yellow light. The rest of the Crew had been stopped by the red light.
Sitting by the door on the passenger side in the second seat, Mykal watched out the window taking in the flat North Dakota farmland. He saw farm houses, barns, farming machinery and equipment scattered about. The only trees were those planted around the houses to help block snow in the winter months.
His thoughts were on his wife and two sons for most of the ride to “the middle of nowhere.” His family changed his life and kept him from going down a path of destruction that would h
ave involved drugs and alcohol. They were all he really cared about. Thoughts of them made him smile as he dozed off.
Kurt took the turn onto Highway 23 rather hastily. He caused sleeping bodies to bounce and slide against one another. Kurt laughed when they all stirred in their sleep. Mykal’s eyes opened and he knew where they were without looking. This was the only turn in their route of travel. He knew they were traveling west on North Dakota Highway 23. He looked out his window to the north and he saw Minot Air Station, the old abandoned radar base about a mile away.
Ahead of them still lay a long boring drive over small rolling hills. Compared to the flatland they had just drove through this was considered a “big” change in scenery. With nearly an hour to go he closed his eyes and he started to doze off again.
Moments later he thought he was dreaming, though conscious of what he felt. His head filled with an odd tingling dizziness, real dizziness. Then it felt like slick roads under them.
“Oh shit,” Kurt yelled, but it sounded muffled.
‘Yes, it’s gotta be a dream. The vehicle feels like it’s spinning on ice...’
≈≈≈∞≈∞≈∞ BACK TO REALITY ∞≈∞≈∞≈≈≈
‘Damn, there’s nothing there to explain being lost,’ Mykal thought after rethinking the events of the day. ‘Unless it had something to do with Ski saying he is supposed to support me. But support me in what? And why? Why would his God want him to support me when I’m not a church going, religious, guy?
‘And to top it off,’ he continued his monologue of thought. ‘I knew something was gonna go wrong. I had another one of my gut feelings,’ he sighed. He was still flummoxed by the bizarre turn of events. ‘And Ski musta thoughts something was gonna happen too cuz of his dream and God stuff. Damn, I shoulda called in sick. I gotta start reacting to my gut feelings more.’
9.
Kurt drove a steady speed of 40 mph. The flat, smooth ground permitted faster speeds. The closer they came to the Finger Mountains the more evident it became what a great natural barrier for Towbar’s people. Only expert rock climbers with the best modern equipment would have any chance of reaching the top.