by K A Sands
No point in denying it, he wasn’t telling me something I didn’t already know.
This was the beginning of the end and the start of the beginning. The next chapter in our lives. Whether happy endings ensued or not, time would only tell.
Laura
The Boardwalk cafe was always busy, always crowded, it seemed it was the unofficial meeting place for the residents of Beaufort. The best chocolate cake for miles only helped its cause. The relaxed atmosphere and muted décor of the coffee house made for an enjoyable experience. I loved coming here.
I waited for Taylor. I’d hear my sister before I saw her, such was Taylor’s way, even above the din and chatter around me. Sometimes I wondered how we were related, her exuberant personality far outweighed mine, she had confidence enough for both of us put together. Even more so of late. Taylor had been a bubbly ball of happiness the last few days and I was anxious as to the cause. Or more likely – who was the cause. I was certain she’d met someone. Nothing had changed for either of us except perhaps a deeper contentment at having settled in Beaufort. I could only pin the change in mood to one thing – a man. Which man, I had no clue. Taylor had said diddly squat. Today, I was going to pry it out of her, come hell or high water.
Jenny, my favourite waitress, sauntered over and plonked herself into the seat opposite me.
“Hey there, how you doing today?” she asked.
The young woman looked great, as always; a slouchy cowl necked, off the shoulder jumper highlighted slender shoulders and a freckled collarbone. I craved to be her age again, to be free from life’s burdens, to be able to go back and do it all over.
“I’m great, Jenny. Waiting for Taylor. You know how it goes.” I chuckled.
Taylor was late for everything, except when it mattered. Meeting at the café every few days to catch up was not considered important. She was always tardy for our coffee dates.
“Can we get the usual please, honey?” I liked Jenny, always polite and chatty, giving fantastic service.
“Yeah, sure.” She didn’t scribble it down on her pad, she knew what we liked. “How’s the house coming on?”
Beaufort residents thought I was mad, it was no great secret I’d taken on the mammoth project of trying to renovate my own house. Myself. I refused help. The property was my pride and joy and to say I had done all the work would be an amazing achievement. The house I’d fallen in love with was mine and I was stamping ‘me’ all over it. If it meant a blonde patch on the floor where I’d over sanded it...well, so be it.
“Ha! I might get it finished sometime before I’m old and grey, who knows?” I rolled my eyes in affection at Jenny. “Oh, there’s Taylor now.” I pointed to the front window where I could see her talking with another woman. “Aw, she has little Sebastian with her.”
Taylor ruffled the boy’s hair with one hand while clasping his chubby fingers in her other. She was speaking to Irene, his mother. Sebastian was a cute boy, still a young child although he had no problem reminding everyone he was the ‘man of the house.’ At six years old he was the apple of his mother’s eye, she loved him fiercely. Their father had jumped ship a couple of years ago, leaving them to fend for themselves. I was fond of the young boy but kept him at arm's length, the reminder of what was stolen from me too raw when I looked at his innocent face. Taylor had no such hesitations, she was wrapped firmly around Sebastian’s pinkie finger. As if on cue, the bell rattled, and she popped her head around the door searching for Jenny.
“Cake for Sebastian?” she mouthed finding the waitress seated across from me.
Jenny jumped up and made her way to the back of the café, off to package up some cake for him and his mother to take home.
Another few minutes and Taylor slid into the seat next to me. “Lord, it’s bitter out there today.” She pulled her gloves off and threw them onto the table.
My attention returned to Sebastian as he eagerly took the cake box from Jenny’s hand when she slid it through the open door, his young voice high pitched when he sang his thanks. He and his mother jaunted off down the pier, happy for now. I faced Taylor, her ruddy cheeks testament to the weather outside.
“So...” Taylor said.
“So...” I mocked back, a cheeky grin on my face. I loved seeing my sister. Jenny re-appeared and placed our order in front of us. “Thank you,” I said absently as she wandered off again.
“Wanna go to the pub tonight?” Taylor eyed her plate like a prized piece of real estate before digging the fork into the gooey frosting. “Just for a change, you know?”
A change for me perhaps, not Taylor. She loved the local bar and was there so frequently it was like her second home. It had been about four months since I’d set foot in the place. It’s not that I didn’t like the pub, it was the propensity to get drunk and make an idiot of myself that was all too real. And honestly, curling up in bed with a book at home after a long day bent over the sewing machine or hemming and pinning, was like heaven. I rarely made the effort to do anything but read and sleep. Getting butted up against by people, or having to make polite conversations with strangers, held no appeal for me whatsoever. Rubbing shoulders mostly made my skin crawl which is why I surprised myself and agreed to go.
“What’s going on with you?”
I polished off about ten tonnes of carbs in the form of sponge and ganache before asking the question. Taylor's eyes flitted around the room, if I didn’t know better I’d say she was nervous. Placing her mug in front of her, she wrung her hands together. Her revelation was coming, and I couldn’t help the brief sway of sadness that clouded my expression.
We were changing.
“I met someone,” Taylor whispered, like it was a closely guarded secret.
My heart thumped wildly for a few beats, ridiculously happy for her. The confession was a big deal, she’d never mentioned a single guy in the last few years, for her to admit she was dating was colossal. The gloom I’d felt a moment ago morphed into excitement and a warmth engulfed me. I beamed across the table, Taylor look anxiously back at me.
“It’s sort of new...but, oh my god...”
Her gaze wandered to the side again. I followed her line of sight coming face to face with the most gorgeous pair of chocolate coloured eyes I’d ever seen. Warm, brown, and...staring. A subtle shiver rolled over me and for some undiscernible reason I tipped my head at the guy, casting a quick glance at his friend before turning away.
Both men were gorgeous, could have been brothers, their features similar - dark hair, dark eyes. I’d never seen them in Beaufort before, didn’t have a clue who they were. My sister clearly did. I panicked. What if the guy she met was the one with the eyes? Heat crept up my neck from embarrassment. I wasn’t one to stare, not openly anyway, and I’d been caught. Taylor was grinning at me like she knew my secret. I gave a short laugh because she probably did.
“Like what you see?” she asked, cheekily.
“Which one?”
Taylor mouthed ‘left’ to me and I breathed a sigh of relief. Not the guy staring, then.
“That’s good, right?”
She beamed at me. It was bizarre, she’d never been known to moon over anything, much less a guy.
“We met a few months ago.” She was clearly reminiscing, with that far-away look on her face. “Well, it was a reconnection of sorts. That’s another story for another time, yeah?”
I was puzzled yet it sort of made sense now. How had I never noticed before? How had I never figured it out?
“Ryder and his friend are looking to buy the old Lewis place at the end of the pier.”
“He lives down here?” I asked, trying to squeeze information from her, to at least give me an inkling of how far in she was with this guy.
“Not yet...”
I snuck another peek at their table. Both men were hunkered down, concentrating on pieces of paper spread out in front of them. Neither took any notice of my less than subtle ogling, giving me a chance to check out the one Taylor had called Ryder
. A stocky guy, big, not Taylor's style in any way, she wasn’t into muscled guys as far as I was aware, yet he had muscles. And maybe muscles on top of those, too. He was a good-looking guy; mousy dark hair that was a little long around the ears and neck, a slight wave keeping it from looking unkempt. A tease of black inched above his collared shirt and I saw it was a tattoo. I scrunched my nose, not being a fan of inked men.
“His body is covered, Laura.” The hushed schoolgirl giggle had me wondering who this person was sitting in front of me.
I moved onto brown eyes and noted although they appeared similar, they were entirely different looking. His hair was short and dark, slight smatters of grey shone in the light when he moved his head. Smaller in stature than Ryder, less muscled, softer - no less commanding. With his darker skin tone, I guessed the man maybe had Mediterranean blood running through him. He looked older than me, maybe 40’s, and wore it extremely well. I blushed, finding him attractive. Insanely so.
“I think I’m in love, Laura.”
I reached over for Taylor’s hand and gave it a squeeze, there was uncertainty swirling in her eyes. She shook her head as if to scold herself for being a fool. I got her, I did. The last time one of us fell in love, it didn’t end so well. She was scared.
“Oh, Taylor,” I said, “it’ll be okay. This will be different, I’m sure.”
“Maybe.” She straightened in her chair, removing her hand from mine and picking up her mug again.
A shadow cut across the table we were seated at, the two men standing off to the side. Ryder leaned down to whisper in Taylor’s ear, her whole demeanour picking up at his murmured words. She rested her hand on his arm when he kissed her gently on the cheek before rising up. Smiling at me, he left as quick as he’d arrived, no introductions.
Taylor’s face had reddened, and I couldn’t help expressing amusement at the demure, shy woman she portrayed right then. Where had my boisterous sister gone? I’d never seen her act this way around anyone. But oh, how beautiful she looked. I prayed to all the Gods in the world, despite my cynicism, that Taylor would get her happy ever after. The woman deserved it more than any other person I’d ever known in my life. I had tears in my eyes as I studied her, so full of love for a woman who was about my everything.
This time Taylor reached for my hand and held it in hers, her other hand cupping around my cheek, her thumb swiping at a stray tear. She inched closer and kissed me softly on the nose.
“We’re okay, baby girl. We’re okay.”
The truth of her words struck a chord deep inside. The air around us swirled with an expectant hum, like the world knew something we didn’t. Indefinable glory and terror, all at the same time, neither of us would have the volition to stop when it arrived.
* * *
The bar idea was thrown out the window, instead we opted for a movie night on a comfy sofa, with far too many snacks than were healthy for a woman’s hips. Carb overload was the game of the night. After gorging on four cheese, deep pan pizza and eating more than our weight in ice cream, both Taylor and I settled in to watch ‘Meet Joe Black,’ a favourite movie of ours. Well, who could resist Brad Pitt and the way he looked at Claire Forlani? I loved the peanut butter scene - oh, to be that spoon!
“So, how’d you meet this Ryder guy?” I asked, taking my eyes from the television screen to search around for a chocolate bar.
We were tucked up together on my couch, in comfortable pyjamas, snuggled under a cosy blanket. I’d put the lamps on around the room, so the light wasn’t harsh. Perfect for a lazy evening. Far better than the pub, if you asked me. Taylor stared ahead at the screen in front of her, I sensed her unease, didn’t understand it entirely.
“I know you’ve been seeing him a while.” I nudged her leg. “I’m not mad, Taylor. Spill!”
“I met him years ago,” she said.
“And?” I didn’t see the big deal.
She looked at me then. “We were fucking around, having a bit of fun at first, then it started getting serious, and well...things happened, you know. I left.”
“What things?”
I wasn’t catching her drift, couldn’t even remember her mentioning seeing someone called Ryder. We were close before, not quite living in each other’s pockets like we did these last years. Boy talk never really cropped up.
“When we had to leave,” she said quietly.
I stared at the side of her head, her words laying heavy on me. “Eight years ago, you mean?” She didn’t answer me, I knew I was right on the money. “So, what? You just left?”
“Yes, I just left.”
I grabbed her hand under the blanket, realising far too late leaving him had hurt her. “For me?”
“I’d do anything for you, Laura. It was a small price to pay, believe me.”
“You met him again, recently?”
She squeezed my hand. “I did.”
No more prying, I didn’t want to know how much I’d let my sister down. I couldn’t understand why she’d kept this from me for all these years, why she’d never said anything. Not a single word. She’d not wanted to hurt me, I got that in spades, I did. But to sacrifice her own happiness? I’d known she’d given up parts of her life for me, but never a relationship. If I felt awful before, it was nothing compared to how it ripped at my gut now.
“I’m sorry,” I hadn’t ever apologised to her. “And thank you. You’ve done so much for me.”
“Hey.” She twisted to face me, moving closer. “There’s nothing I’d have done differently, Laura. This isn’t on you.”
Really - it was. My ruined life didn’t have to mean my sister’s life too. I would have done the same thing for her, yet I didn’t like the way I felt about her wallowing and losing right along with me.
“And you met up again?”
“Yeah, so, it’s all good.” She grinned, trying to convince me. “Get out of your head, Laura. It’s good.”
“You see a future with him?”
She took her time to answer, when she finally did, I heard the confidence in her voice as she spoke. “Yes. I think there is. You’d like him, Laura.”
“It would be a sin if I didn’t. He’s dating my sister and best friend,” I laughed, hopefully diffusing the air of tension the conversation had brought. “He best be treating you right.” I eyed Taylor.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way. We’re not sleeping together either, not yet anyway. That’s a big deal, right?”
“What?” I hadn’t seen that one coming.
“I know. He doesn’t seem to be in any hurry, says he’s not going anywhere, wants to prove it.”
“You believe that?” I liked the guy already.
She looked up at the ceiling, blowing out a big breath. “Yeah, yeah, I do.” She giggled like a school girl and my heart thudded harder for her. “I’m so going to jump his bones soon. My girly parts scream whenever he gets into bed. You know he’s not sleeping with his clothes on.”
“TMI, Taylor, TMI!!” I didn’t need the mental image of her boyfriend naked in my head. She socked me playfully on the arm.
“His best friend is fit as fuck too, Laura.”
“Oh, my god! Is Ryder not enough for you, woman?”
“Of course, he is! He’s some nice eye candy though.”
“Well, whatever. Ryder needs to pass the sister test.”
“Don’t you go scaring him away, Laura Hamilton.” Taylor rolled her eyes at me.
“Hey, if he’s treating you like a princess and isn’t a douchebag, then he’ll pass with flying colours.” I assured her.
“I think this is it,” she said seriously, “I love the man.”
I pulled Taylor into a hug and squeezed her tight, cheerful on the outside, feeling cosy warm on the inside. My sister was in love. I hoped Ryder’s feelings were mutual. Otherwise a woman might have to kick a man’s junk.
Lucca
With Christmas came the realisation it would be the last spent with Stella and Ayden together. There was no lon
ger any doubt my marriage was over; we hadn’t been a family in years.
I was catapulted into some weird funk I couldn’t quite shake. Not depression exactly, more a despondency of some sort. Maybe it was uncertainty - not knowing what was coming, what my future held, where I’d be this time next year. I was nervous about the new restaurant Ryder and I had bought, nervous about being away from Ayden. Nervous about being on my own for the first time in over twenty years. I’d been lonely most of that time, true, but never on my own. So yes, a pervading sadness stole over me. The atmosphere in the house was frosty at best, matching the weather outside. The chill sank into me further as each day passed. I was ready to get on with the rest of my life.
Since telling Stella our divorce was imminent, she’d never uttered another word about it, just breezed around like she normally did. Ignoring me like I didn’t exist and barely managing to remember she was a mother. Ayden was home for the holidays, yet he spent most of his time in his room, not knowing where to put himself. His best friend, Jake, hardly made an appearance for those few weeks. I craved a better life for my son, for myself.
Instead of wallowing, I made plans. Ones that included Ayden and my future, if that’s what he wanted. I called the realtor we’d bought the old Lewis place from and made appointments to view three properties after New Year from the dossier he’d provided. I had my heart set on one but wasn’t going to jinx it by ruminating on how perfect the property was. Ryder wasn’t fussy, which had always been his way. Having no real roots, he owned his own apartment in our home city of York, rarely frequented it, and could pick up and leave when he saw fit. I’d promised to call him to update on the properties, like I said - he wasn’t fussy.
“Hey, bro. You found somewhere?”
“Three.” I tapped my finger on the favourite at the top of the pile.
“The big one in that three?”
He knew me so well. I didn’t do flats, cottages, bungalows or lofts. I wasn’t a snob, but I liked bigger, more upmarket, was used to the space.