“So, that’s him.” Misha folded his arms across his chest and tilted his head as he stared across the patio. He played with his lip stud, poking it with his tongue and wiggling it.
“Him, who?” Jack said, despite knowing exactly who Misha was looking at. He focused on filling the row of shot glasses with apple-flavored vodka.
“I always imagined you with someone… tiny.”
Jack stopped and raised an eyebrow at Misha’s musing. “Tiny?” He shook his head, ignoring Misha for a moment as he placed the shots on a tray and handed it over to the man who had ordered them.
“Yeah. Some petite model-type with devastating cheekbones and a pout to die for.” Misha sucked in his cheeks and took three steps before spinning around and returning to where he started.
Jack laughed. “Is there something you want to tell me?” he teased. “Or rather your girlfriend.”
“As if.” Misha picked up one of the cocktail shakers and turned it over in his hands. “You just come across as this tough, no-nonsense guy. I figured if you did, you’d get together with someone you could go all alpha on and play protector to.” He shrugged. “Maybe it’s the beard.”
“Have you been at the vodka?”
Misha shook his head. “I know I’ve only been at the club for a couple of months, but I’ve seen how you are with Abe and his family. It’s weird. If it wasn’t that you were younger than him, you’d think you were his dad or big, bad older brother or something.”
Straightening up, Jack gave a dismissive laugh. “Shut up.”
“He seems nice.” Misha continued to play with the shaker. He nodded over to where Leo was standing with his work colleagues. “He’s certainly put a smile on your face, anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like I said, you act like a tough guy most of the time. Hard on the outside, soft and cuddly on the inside. I don’t think I’ve seen you smile as much during my trial at the club as I have these last few days.”
Jack looked over at Leo. He had never been drawn to anyone in all his years as a Frost. Of any of the men he had been with in that time, Leo was the first to make Jack stop and dare to dream of what-ifs. Since their first meeting there had been this inexplicable connection between them. He figured Misha was right in a way. He wanted nothing more than to protect Leo. Jack didn’t want Leo to give up on love like he had, to become this cold shell of who he used to be. He wanted to protect Leo from that and from anyone who might ever want to hurt him or break his heart in the future. Leo was sweet and kind and deserved better, better than Mac, better than him. He swallowed uncomfortably. Was it himself he should be protecting Leo from?
The familiar tightening of his chest made Jack look away, though he knew he was too late and Leo had caught him watching. He pressed his hand to his chest and rubbed at the space above his heart. He wanted to be better for Leo. He wanted to be the one who showed Leo he shouldn’t give up on love. Not as easily as Jack had. Could he be better? Could he really give Leo what he needed? Could he ever love him, really love him and be able to feel it?
“Are you all right?” Misha asked. He wore a concerned expression when Jack turned to him. “I didn’t mean to offend you or anything. I mean, you make a good couple.” He looked earnestly at Jack.
Jack shook his head. “No. No, you haven’t offended me.” He glanced back at Leo. Their eyes met, and Leo smiled at him. Returning Leo’s smile, he turned back to Misha, who grinned.
“I’ve changed my mind,” Misha said. “You’re just as soft on the outside.” Putting down the shaker, he patted Jack on the shoulder, then turned his attention to the woman waiting beside the bar. “What can I get you?”
Pressing his fingers to his shoulder, Jack massaged the echo of Misha’s hand. He watched Leo laugh and chat with his work friends. Leo looked happy. A smile teased the corner of Jack’s mouth. He wished he could pluck the moment from the air and file it away forever. Leo looked so comfortable in the world, and Jack wanted to be part of that. He wanted to be the one to make Leo laugh and smile. If nothing else from his years as a Frost and from all the wonders he had seen in the world, he knew one thing was true: anything was possible.
* * * * *
“Who’s the blonde in accounts?” Nathan leaned in as he kept his voice low. “You know, the one with the…” He held his hands out in front of himself.
“Great personality?” Leo raised an eyebrow.
Nathan ignored him and expanded on his description. “She wears those clingy silk blouses and sandals all year round.”
“Oh yeah.” Leo closed his eyes until the name came to him. “Diane.”
“Diane. Thank you.”
Leo waited, expecting Nathan to share some tidbit of information. “What about her?”
“Nothing. I was at the bar with her, and she kept calling me by my name. I couldn’t for the life of me remember hers.”
“Idiot.” Leo glanced around the patio, noting the congregation of managers near the hotel doors. “Guess it’s nearly time for the speeches and to pat ourselves on the back for another good year.” He looked away when Mac turned his head in their direction.
“They should do awards or something. Hand out certificates.” Nathan mused.
“What, like employee of the year?”
Nathan shrugged. “Sure, if the title came with a bonus.” He laughed. “I was thinking more along the lines of alcoholic of the year, office lothario, worst haircut, person most likely to be let go this coming year.”
“My name’s probably in the running for that one.” Mac might want him on the team now, but he could imagine Mac showing himself to be a petty asshole if Leo continued to pull away.
“It won’t come to that.”
“I hope you’re right.”
Nathan rested his hand on Leo’s shoulder. “It won’t. Mac is a lot of things, but I don’t believe he’s that guy.”
Deep down, Leo knew Nathan was right. Mac was forever the professional. He was about appearances and keeping them. He wouldn’t want anything or anyone to cast doubt on the man of integrity he claimed to be—and was, in the workplace at least. Shame he couldn’t have been as loyal outside the job.
“Hey. Here we go.” Nathan nudged him in the ribs.
There was a call for quiet as Rebecca Donovan and her son, Mac’s father, stepped up onto a small raised platform. Even at eighty years old, she had this amazing presence about her. When she talked, you listened.
With her son’s hand supportively on her arm, Rebecca gave the first of the family’s speeches. “Good evening. It’s that time of year again here at Harding’s Toys where we look back at our successes, as well as to what the future holds for you and us.”
Leo sipped at his cocktail as he listened to the various family members as they took their turn. First Rebecca, then her son, and finally, her three grandsons. When Mac took the stage, Leo averted his eyes. He felt antsy. With a sigh, he searched for Jack. A sense of calm washed over him when he spotted Jack away from the crowd. He seemed to be inspecting one of the ice sculptures. Leo watched as Jack ran his hand over the surface of the largest of the teddy bears. Jack was focused as he glided his hand fondly over his work.
“Where are you, Leo?”
Leo blinked as he heard his name. His heart leapt in his chest as Nathan wrapped an arm around his shoulder and shouted up at the stage, confirming his whereabouts.
“Come up here, Leo. Let’s give him a hand.” Mac started clapping.
“What the hell?” Leo whispered urgently when Nathan pushed him forward.
Nathan shrugged and looked as clueless as Leo felt. “Don’t ask me,” he said and joined the others in clapping.
Leo thrust his drink at Nathan and straightened his tie, heading through the crowd to the front. He stepped up onto the small stage. With wide eyes, he looked at Mac, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. He was surprised when Mac pulled him into a hug.
Look happy. Leo resisted the urge to pull away as
Mac pressed a kiss to his cheek. “What are you doing?” he mouthed, faking a smile as Mac turned him to face the front and hugged his shoulder. This hadn’t been part of the speech he had helped Mac prepare earlier. He kept smiling, listening to Mac outline the exciting steps the team led by Mac and Leo—What the hell?—were taking into the market of online gaming and downloadable apps. They were moving Harding’s into the twenty-first century, and Mac had grand plans for the future.
Hurry it up. Mac kept talking, and Leo fought the urge to run off stage. The situation was beyond uncomfortable, and he just wanted to get back to Nathan and down his cocktail. Mac held him close, and as Leo took a deep breath, he could smell the scent of Mac’s aftershave mixed with the smell of one of his occasional sneaked cigarettes and bourbon on his breath. He glanced up at Mac and hoped his smile didn’t slip. He let his gaze drift across the crowd in search of a friendly face. He stopped when he found Nathan. There had to be a way to make this end. Nathan just stared hopelessly back at him. Hell, he looked as embarrassed for Leo as Leo felt. This had to be nearly over, right?
With the feel of Mac tightening his fingers around his shoulder, Leo’s mask slipped for a moment. He turned his head, looking past the stage to where Jack was standing. Jack met his eyes, and a strained expression flitted over his face as he glanced at Mac. Recognition shone in his eyes. He knew who had his arm around Leo, holding him close. Jack straightened, seeming to push away the disappointment that had settled over him, and gave a small smile. Leo’s heart sank as Jack walked away, and he was glad when Mac nudged him in the small of his back and they left the stage together for his grandmother to have the group raise their drinks in a final toast.
“What the hell, Mac?” Leo turned on his ex, lowering his head as he dragged Mac toward the hotel building. With the speeches over, people started to split back into smaller groups, spreading out around the patio or seeking the warmth of inside and the hotel bar.
Mac’s eyes were alight with excitement as he looked at Leo.
“A team led by you and me? Us? When did it become us? When did it suddenly become our team?” If this was some grand plan to get back in with Leo, then Mac was not going to get the outcome he wanted.
“I thought you’d be happy.” He placed his hand on Leo’s arm. “I thought maybe…”
“What?” Leo wasn’t about to let himself be manipulated by Mac. He had backed down and given Mac more second chances than he could remember, but no more. Mac had made his choice, and now Leo had made his. His choice wasn’t Mac.
Lowering his head, Mac gave a shrug. “I don’t know.”
Leo rotated his shoulder and took a step back. He kept his voice low. He needed Mac to understand there was no longer anything between them. “Look. We both know it wasn’t working.” Mac went to argue, but Leo continued, “No. You know it. I know it. Not really. Not in a long time.”
“But everything was fine. We can have that again.” Mac grabbed Leo’s hand and guided him a little farther from people and where they might be heard. “I love you. You love me.”
“It’s not enough.” Leo chewed on his lip as he tried to find the right words. What was he supposed to say? “I loved you. I loved you so much, but it will never be enough. I can’t forgive you anymore.”
“You can turn it off, just like that?” He held Leo by the shoulders and looked desperately at him.
Coldly, Leo reminded him, “Didn’t you?” He met Mac’s eyes. “Or are you really going to tell me that while you were with those other men, it was me you were thinking about?” He rested his hand over Mac’s. “I still care about you. I don’t think that’s going to change, but I don’t have the same feelings for you that I used to have, and I don’t think I ever will again.” He briefly closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “We’re over.” When he opened his eyes, Mac was staring at him. Leo didn’t know what he had expected to see, maybe anger, some fiery determination to keep at Leo, wear him down until he came back to him. All he saw was sadness, defeat, and finally, acceptance.
He rested his hand on Mac’s arm. “What happens next is down to you, I guess. If you want me to keep working with you, then fine. But we’ll never go back to how we were.”
Mac stared into Leo’s eyes, as if searching for a glimmer of doubt, that maybe Leo wasn’t telling him the truth. He wouldn’t find it. Mac could promise Leo the world, but Mac would never really change, and deep down Mac knew that too.
Tension eased from Mac’s body, and his hold on Leo’s shoulders lessened. “So, this is really it?”
It really was. “Yeah.”
Mac rubbed his hands up and down the tops of Leo’s arms. His touch lingered as he seemed to be thinking about something.
“You okay?” Leo asked.
“We had fun, right?” Mac drew his gaze over Leo’s face, seeming to settle on Leo’s mouth.
Leo smiled. They’d had fun, and that was the problem. Mac was ruled by his dick, not his heart. He just wanted to have fun, and Leo had pretty much been his safety net, the one who was always there. With a short nod, Leo agreed. “We did.”
The words had barely escaped his mouth before Mac was leaning in and kissing him. Surprised, Leo froze. Mac had his hands in the back of Leo’s hair, holding him close. Leo closed his eyes, old feelings rising to the surface as he found himself slipping into bad habits. It was like some autopilot took over and he found himself kissing Mac back.
No. “Stop.” He breathed the word harshly against Mac’s mouth as he twisted his head to free himself. He looked angrily at Mac before his eyes caught movement behind his ex. He turned his head, his gaze finding Ruby, and beside her…
“Jack,” Leo uttered. He pushed at Mac’s chest and stepped forward.
Jack didn’t say anything, simply turned on his heel and stalked away.
Recognition sparked in Mac’s eyes. “Is that…?” Mac grabbed Leo by the wrist when he went to follow Jack. “You and him?”
Leo looked back over his shoulder and told Mac, “Yes, him.” Guilt spread through Leo. He needed to find Jack. He needed to explain.
“What’s going on?” Ruby asked. She looked from Mac to Leo. She looked disappointed. He wanted to tell her she had gotten it wrong. This wasn’t what it looked like. Mac had kissed him.
“Nothing,” Leo stated. He turned his arm. “Let go, Mac.”
“You’re running after him? You don’t even know him.”
“I know enough.”
Ruby grabbed Mac’s wrist when he didn’t release Leo. “He said let go.” She stood tall, her eyes steely as she glared at Mac.
“Fine.” Mac let go of Leo. “Fine. You know what? Forget it.” He flung up his hands, then walked away.
Leo rubbed his wrist.
“What the hell were you thinking?” Ruby folded her arms across her chest and looked at him accusingly.
“I wasn’t. He kissed me.” Leo looked beyond Ruby, scanning the space for Jack.
“Hey.” Ruby snapped her fingers in front of him. “You sure about that?”
You kissed him back. Leo briefly closed his eyes. He rubbed at his brow, applying pressure to his temple. “I know what it looked like. But it wasn’t like that. I just…” He had been caught up in the moment. For one second, he had taken his eye off the ball, he’d forgotten himself and had been swept along for the ride. “I need to talk to Jack.”
“Good luck with that.” Ruby pursed her lips in a disapproving pout.
“What do you mean?” It was just some stupid, meaningless kiss. Jack would understand.
She raised her eyebrows and widened her eyes.
“It didn’t mean anything.” He curled his hands into fists. “It was good-bye. You know?”
Ruby’s expression softened a little. “Look, before you go chasing after Jack, you need to be sure of what you want.”
“What I want?”
“I know I’ve gone on and on about walking away from Mac, but if you can’t do that—”
“I don’t want Ma
c.”
She pressed on. “It’s okay. I didn’t want to see you hurt, and yes, I know you and Mac isn’t the same as what I went through. Just because I think it’s wrong and Mac will never change, if you love him and you can live with that hanging over the two of you, then okay.” Her top lip curled. “Or maybe him with other guys, maybe that’s your thing or—”
“Stop.” Leo smiled. He appreciated his friend’s words and support, but he wasn’t about to go back, not when he had come so far. “Stop, okay. There is nothing going on between me and Mac. Not anymore.”
“Really? Because I’d love your stupid face no matter what you decide.”
“Honestly.” He pressed his hand to her cheek. “I think that maybe I…” She would think him a complete fool if he confessed what it was he thought he felt for Jack. She would tell him it was too soon, too sudden, completely insane, but he couldn’t help it. Jack had stolen his heart. “I really like Jack,” he admitted. “Like really like Jack.”
Ruby ran her fingernails up and down over the sleeve of her cardigan. “Okay, then you need to be honest with him. I’ve seen how he looks at you, and I saw the look on his face just now.” She smiled and stood on her tiptoes, pulling Leo’s head down so she could kiss him on the forehead. “Just tell him the truth.”
Chapter 18
“Have you seen Jack?” Leo asked.
The barman hovered beside the ice luge and swallowed uncomfortably. “Erm, he’s around here somewhere. Taking a breather, I’d imagine. It’s been a long night.” The barman pulled awkwardly at the scarf around his neck.
Leo’s gaze fell to the barman’s chest and the pin he wore with his name. “Misha, right?”
The barman nodded.
“I really need to talk to him.”
Misha glanced to the ground behind the bar. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon. Would you like to leave a message?”
Leo narrowed his eyes when Misha lifted his gaze and did his best not to look behind the bar. “Can you just tell him I made a mistake and I really want to explain things to him?”
Unable to resist, Misha looked down again and shrugged. “I should probably… go… this way… Pee break.”
Just Jack Page 14