“Haven’t you ever wondered why there are so few Nightmares around? Counting you and your mother, there is only one other living in Chickery.”
“Bethany Grey,” I murmured.
“Yes, Bethany.”
“I … I didn’t know there were only three of us. I mean, I know I’m the only Nightmare in school, but I thought that was just some kind of fluke.”
“I’m afraid not.” Marrow folded his hands in his lap, leaning back. “While there are other Nightmares in the world, their numbers are very small. They were once heavily hunted by other magickind, almost to the point of extinction. Your kind is still recovering.”
I gripped the arms of my chair. “Why?”
“Fear, mostly, and hatred. As I’ve already explained, Nightmares are very powerful because of the nature of their magic. So powerful, in fact, that a Nightmare can drain a person of all the fictus inside them, leaving them in a soulless state, neither alive nor dead but stuck forever in between. It’s a fate far worse than death. The risk of doing this to one of your dream-subjects is why there is a time limit on your sessions. Unfortunately, before The Will, Nightmares got a reputation for destroying their victims so often, it resulted in their persecution.”
I thought I might be sick. “But … are you saying Nightmares are evil?” Was I some kind of monster?
Marrow shook his head. “No. Concepts such as good and evil aren’t so definite as the stories would like you to believe. Your kind simply did what they had to do. Before the Magi came to be, the various kinds were at war, each group trying to gain dominance over the other. The naturekinds hated witchkinds for their desecration of the natural world, and both groups hated darkkinds for their parasitic magic. But all the kinds employed Nightmares for their cause, usually to work as assassins. But the Nightmares didn’t kill their targets. They drained them of fictus. They were so good at this that when the wars finally ended, the newly formed Magi determined they were too dangerous to exist in such numbers and sanctioned the hunting of Nightmares until they no longer proved so great a threat.”
My stomach clenched. The idea of an entire group of magickind being hunted like animals was horrible. But on the other hand, it might’ve been deserved. “Wait.” I paused, my confusion growing. “I thought the Magi have always been made up of representatives from all three kinds.”
Marrow smiled, a pleased glint in his eye. “I’m glad to learn you pay such good attention in my classes. Yes, all three kinds have always been involved in all Magi business.”
I blinked. “But then that means that the darkkind Magi had to agree to it, too. Only, how could they do that when Nightmares are darkkind as well?”
Marrow sighed and ran a hand over his beard. “I’m afraid that’s just another example of the argument that the good of the many outweighs the good of the few. And I doubt if it was a difficult decision for the darkkind Magi of the time. Nightmares have always been regarded as outsiders.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, shivering from something other than the cold air in Marrow’s office. This must be the reason I had such a hard time making friends at Arkwell. What if the fear and hatred of Nightmares had been handed down to my classmates from generations of magickind who still remembered what my kind had done?
Marrow leaned toward me, his voice earnest. “I didn’t tell you about these things to distress you, Dusty, but I believe it’s important you know the truth of what you are, where you come from, and more importantly, what you’re capable of. You must learn to control your abilities.”
“But why?” I knew his answer already, but I thought I would rather avoid all negative situations from here on out instead. Maybe I should become a nun.
“To protect yourself from persecution,” said Marrow. “The Will’s ineffectiveness on Nightmares isn’t common knowledge. You don’t want word to spread that you’re casting illegal spells, and the best way to do that is by learning to control your magic. That way, you don’t accidentally do something you shouldn’t.”
Like suck Eli’s soul out through his dreams? I swallowed. Yeah, the whole nun thing was looking better and better. I couldn’t possibly go full-out evil if I were a nun, could I?
“And also,” said Marrow, his expression deadly serious, “you don’t want the killer finding out that you’ve learned the trick of thwarting The Will.”
I blinked, not understanding. “It’s not like I’m going to start helping the guy.”
“Ah,” Marrow said, wagging a finger at me. “That’s the rub, isn’t it? The killer, whoever it might be, is clever. Clever enough to trick you into helping him”—he paused—“or her, without you even being aware you’re doing it. And a Nightmare’s ability could prove quite useful, no doubt.”
Nausea twisted my belly into knots as I thought about Rosemary. It was likely that she’d been lured into Coleville by the killer. Was it possible the same could happen to me?
Some questions were better left unanswered.
11
Cold Case
By the time I left Mr. Marrow’s office, I realized I was in over my head. How could I have been so stupid? If Culpepper was involved then the killer already knew what I could do. Or would find out soon enough. That was it. No more of this wannabe Nancy Drew sleuthing. Selene was right. I should stick to the dream stuff. That was safe. That was simple.
Coward.
But I was just a teenager. I couldn’t vote or join the army. I didn’t even have my own car. I had no business taking on a killer. Besides, the whole of magickind thought I was evil. Not even vampires had been hunted to near extinction and most of them were evil. Best to keep a low profile.
By the time I reached the dorm, I’d successfully forced my thoughts onto the more pleasant subject of my upcoming date with Paul. In truth, I’d thought about him a lot since last Sunday.
I wondered if I’d missed any calls and pulled out my cell from the front pocket of my jeans only to find it was off. Grrrr. The stupid thing had developed a surly personality from the animation effect, which meant it shut down whenever it wanted to. Usually when I was expecting important phone calls.
I switched it on and was immediately rewarded with twenty text messages, all from Selene. No wonder she’d been so worried. I didn’t have any voice mails though, and disappointment that Paul still hadn’t called struck me like a sudden cramp. He was cutting it a bit close—we were supposed to go out tomorrow night, and I didn’t know when or where.
Naturally, Selene was still up when I came in. She spent ten minutes lecturing me on how I should never do something so stupid again. I didn’t argue with her. She was totally right.
I couldn’t shake the certainty building inside me that Paul wasn’t going to call, and by the time I headed off for my dream-session with Eli, I was ready for this day to be over. But things went from bad to worse when I saw Eli standing out front of Flint Hall with Katarina.
They were kissing.
I ducked behind a tree, going red from head to toe. Could this night get any worse? It was bad enough Eli had already been dreaming about Katarina in skimpy cheerleading outfits. Now that they had progressed to the making-out stage in real life, I could only imagine what the dreams would be like as a result. Naked Katarina, no doubt.
Hot, angry tears stung my eyes. It was too much after the day I’d had—the humiliation in psionics, finding out I was a monster who could kill people in their dreams, the likelihood that I was going to get stood up by the first boy at Arkwell ever to show interest in me, and now this.
I took a deep breath and told myself I didn’t care about Eli kissing somebody. Still, he and I did have a dream-feeding session, which was a perfectly good reason to interrupt them. But then I glanced at my watch and realized I was five minutes early. Of all the luck.
At least Eli said good-bye a few moments later, after one of the werewolf policemen on patrol told them to break it up and gave them a warning for being out after curfew. I waited until Katarina was out of sight before go
ing in.
“Hey,” Eli said as I came through the door. “What happened to you today?” He eyed me up and down.
I crossed my arms over my chest, wishing I’d taken the time to change into my usual dream-feeding outfit. I felt oddly vulnerable in my V-neck tee and low-rise jeans. “What do you mean?” God, I hope he doesn’t smell like her.
Eli closed the space between us, stopping an arm’s length from me. He was so tall I had to look up at him even from that distance. “You disappeared before gym. Everybody’s been out looking for you.”
I took a step back. “So I’ve heard.”
He frowned. “You okay?”
“Never better.” I uncrossed my arms and motioned toward the chair. “Can we get on with this?”
His frown deepened. “Did something happen?”
“No.”
He put his hands on his hips. “You’re lying.”
I glowered at him. “Like you know me well enough to know when I’m lying.”
His expression turned menacing again. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. Just don’t bother acting like you care what happens to me. It’s really not necessary.”
He didn’t say anything, just kept staring at me with that pantherlike expression. After a moment he turned and sat in his usual chair, his mouth opening into a huge yawn.
I sat down across from him, arms folded over my chest again and eyes fixed on the posters on the wall. It was easy to tell which ones belonged to Lance and which were Eli’s. More than a dozen incarnations of the Joker grinned back at me. Eli’s contributions to the décor included several posters of rock bands, Black Noise among them, along with a Cincinnati Bengals decal, and a recruitment poster for the FBI. I guess he hadn’t been kidding about his life’s ambition.
“So where were you?” Eli asked in a much softer tone than before. “I was worried you’d disappeared.”
I sighed, unable to hold on to my bitchy attitude in the face of his concern. “I was doing something stupid.”
A grin teased the edges of his lips. “Like what?”
I focused my gaze on his ear to avoid looking in his eyes. “I thought I had a lead on the killer, but it didn’t pan out.”
He yawned again. “Yeah, I’m not having any luck, either. But just keep using the graph I gave you.” He leaned back in the chair, his eyes already slipping closed.
I moved into position as his breathing deepened. The dream was another one about ice fishing, cold and miserable. When I spotted Katarina, an irrational urge to do her harm came over me. It was as if all the emotions I’d been struggling with on the outside had followed me into the dream—and been intensified by ten.
I scowled at her, resentment for every time she’d mocked me, for that kiss with Eli, burning inside me like wildfire. The dream-Katarina let out a scream. The flesh on her face began to bubble like melting wax. Her hair blackened as if burned, then fell out. A sudden burst of fear inside me loosened the anger’s tight grip over my mind. What was going on?
Eli rushed over to her, a look of utter terror on his face. “What’s happening?” he yelled. He took hold of her arms, but the skin there had started to fester and flake off, revealing the bones beneath. Her face looked like a mummy’s.
What are you doing, Dusty?
Horrified, I realized I was responsible for this. My thoughts, my actions, my magic. Even worse, I knew Eli’s fear was genuine. For the first time he didn’t know this was a dream—a nightmare.
I closed my eyes, disgust at myself leaching away the last of my anger. I pictured being somewhere else. No Katarina, no ice fishing. I imagined the wind soft and warm instead of sharp as razor blades against my skin. The sun hot and low in the sky, like in Hawaii.
I opened my eyes and gasped at the change I’d wrought. Eli and I were alone, standing on the sundeck of a yacht.
He looked at me, dazed. “What happened? I saw Katarina…” He gulped. “Did you do that to her?”
I didn’t answer. Couldn’t. Something huge and dark was flying in the distance over an endless stretch of blue-green water. The black phoenix. Something dead hung from its talons.
* * *
I tried not to think about what I’d done in Eli’s dream as I waited by the phone for Paul to call the next day. But I did think about it. A lot.
And Paul didn’t call. I figured he wouldn’t, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. By six o’clock I gave up.
“Maybe something happened,” Selene said. “He might’ve lost your number.”
“He could’ve looked it up in the directory.”
“Maybe there was an illness in the family.”
I slumped down onto the sofa in our dorm room. “He’s a Kirkwood. We would’ve heard about it on the news.”
Selene sighed. “Well, if he doesn’t have a good explanation then screw him. He doesn’t deserve you anyway. He’s just a mu—” She hesitated. “Loser.”
I stared at her, shocked by what she had been about to say. “He’s a mule?”
Selene frowned. “That’s a nasty word, Dusty.”
“You’re the one who said it.”
“Almost said it.”
“Same difference.” A mule was a derogatory word for someone who couldn’t do magic. The term was normally directed at halfkinds, whose magical sterility was the result of their parents being different kinds, similar to how most real mules couldn’t reproduce because of the whole horse-donkey chromosome thing. “Wait, so Paul’s a halfkind?”
Selene shifted uncomfortably in her seat across from me. “His mother is Eliza Kirkwood, Magistrate Kirkwood’s younger sister. Nobody knows who his dad is, but he definitely wasn’t witchkind. My mom says it was a big scandal when it happened. People still talk about it every now and again.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Selene pulled her ponytail over her shoulder and began finger-combing her hair. “I didn’t think it would matter to you.”
She was wrong. It did matter, but only because I realized he and I had a lot more in common than I thought. Not that it counted much. He’d still blown me off.
And after what I did in Eli’s dream last night, I wasn’t sure I blamed him. Evil, evil, evil, a nasty voice kept whispering inside my head.
“Are you okay?” Selene asked.
I nodded, but tears burned my eyes.
Selene came over and sat beside me on the sofa. She put an arm around my shoulder, hugging me. “Seriously, he’s not worth getting upset about. No boy is.”
I hugged her back and then stood up. I hadn’t told her the horrible things I’d learned from Marrow or what I’d done in Eli’s dream. She was my only true friend, and I didn’t want to risk having her opinion about me change.
“I’m going for a run,” I said, disappearing into the bedroom. I changed into my running clothes, then headed for the door.
“Be careful,” Selene said, worry in her voice.
I didn’t answer and closed the door behind me. I took off at a jog down the hallway and broke into a run as soon as I was outside. I ran as fast and hard as my body would let me, allowing the physical demand of it to siphon away all the bad feelings inside. When tears dampened my cheeks, I told myself it was from the wind.
I didn’t pay attention to where I was going, up one sidewalk and down another, lapping the entire campus as the minutes ticked by. After a while, my legs began to feel like they were made of lead instead of muscle. My lungs ached from exertion, and I knew as soon as I stopped I would have a coughing fit.
But I didn’t stop. I pressed on and on. In the rare moments when I allowed myself to think, I knew that what I really wanted was to go home to my dad. To run back to my old life. To be normal again, an ordinary. Not some kind of monster that could kill you in your sleep.
It was impossible. Even if I woke up tomorrow as magically sterile as most other halfkinds, I couldn’t just step back into my old life as if I was only pulling on a pair of comfortable shoes. It di
dn’t fit anymore. Too many holes, too much damage.
Sometime later, long after the sun had set, I slowed to a walk and made my way back to Riker Hall. I took a long, hot shower, grateful to have the community bath to myself for once. By the time I returned to the dorm room, Selene was asleep. I didn’t bother checking to see if I’d missed any calls. I knew I hadn’t.
I went to bed and fell asleep in minutes, physically and emotionally exhausted. And I, the Nightmare, slept without dreaming.
12
Cop Out
The next two weeks passed with little incident. For the first time in my life I was maintaining a low profile, keeping my head down and my nose out of trouble. Mostly, I didn’t want to risk bumping into Paul or even spotting him from afar. I was avoiding Eli, too. I managed to show up a half hour late to all our dream-sessions, ensuring he was asleep by the time I got there. He tried to talk to me inside the dreams, but I was able to disguise myself more often than not.
Avoiding him during school wasn’t too hard, either. Katarina was taking care of it for me. Every time he tried to talk to me or even when he looked at me, Katarina was there, forcing his attention back to her.
Even Lance had been quiet. I suspected he was waiting for me to pull the next prank, but I wasn’t interested in playing that game anymore. No trouble for me from now on, thanks.
The Friday before the Samhain dance, Selene and I lined up outside the gymnasium with the rest of the student body waiting to be let in for the school assembly about the significance of Samhain. Selene warned me it was dull stuff, but I was looking forward to the early dismissal afterward. Not that I had any reason to be excited about the weekend. The dance was tomorrow night, and I didn’t have a date.
A few feet ahead of us, Katarina stood talking to one of her snooty friends, a witch named Carla Petermeier. Didn’t take long for me to realize they were talking about me. I wanted to ignore them but couldn’t.
“Did she really try to seduce him?” said Carla, flashing me a dirty look.
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