by Vicki Cody
On the morning of August 1, 2008, I woke up feeling almost as nervous as I had been on my wedding day. And if I was nervous, I could only imagine what Dick was feeling. The ceremony itself was a big deal, carefully orchestrated and rehearsed, not to mention that he had to keep his emotions in check and give what was probably the most important speech of his career to a huge crowd. He was out of bed long before I was, working on it.
It was a picture-perfect day—not a cloud in the sky, eighties and low humidity—and for that, I was thankful. I had been worrying about our older relatives and the soldiers out on the parade field suffering in the heat.
After a quick breakfast, everyone began congregating at our house. Shuttle buses would take us to Summerall Field, just a few blocks away. I was upstairs getting ready and, as usual, was down to the last minute.
Dick called upstairs, “Vicki, it’s time to go! Everyone is here; the bus is waiting.”
“I can’t find my new lipstick! I’ll be down as soon as I find it.”
“Come on, Vick—never mind the lipstick. We’ve got to go!”
“But I bought it to go with my outfit!”
“Everyone is waiting!”
I finally found my lipstick, applied it quickly, took one last look in the mirror, and started down the stairs. Then I stopped on the landing and took in the sight below. In that moment, my life with Dick flashed before me. I looked down and saw the foyer and living room packed with people. I scanned the crowd, and in a second I took it all in: my mom, my sister, my brother, and their spouses; my cousins; Brooke and Austin; Dick’s mom and dad; his sisters and brother and their spouses; his aunts and uncles and nephews; Wynonna and her son. And then, in the middle of all the faces, I saw the three loves of my life: Dick, Clint, and Tyler in their dress blues. It was the last time the three of them would all be in uniform together.
My breath caught, and I felt as if my heart would burst. Where did the time go? It’s been thirty-nine years since that June night when I bounded down the stairs in my cutoffs and T-shirt to meet the boy of my dreams. For my entire adult life, there has not been one day when I have not felt Dick’s love for me. Whether he was in Korea or Kuwait, the deserts of California or Saudi Arabia, Iraq, or Afghanistan, even when we had nothing but written letters to connect us, I always felt it. No matter where he was, he was always in my heart.
It was like herding cattle, getting everyone on the shuttle bus to Summerall Field. On the way to the parade field, I turned to Wynonna, who was sitting behind me. She had been wearing her sunglasses the entire time. She lowered them and revealed her red, puffy eyes.
“I’ve been crying since I woke up. I’m not ready for this, Vicki. I can’t imagine him not in the Army. The entire time I’ve known him, he’s been in uniform.”
“I know, Wy—me too. It’s hard for me to imagine life after the Army.”
“What if it changes things? What if it changes our relationship?”
“Wynonna, I can tell you without a doubt that this will not change your relationship with Dick. He will still be the same man we all love; he just won’t be in uniform.”
The parade field looked beautiful, filled with the Third US Infantry Regiment (the Old Guard), the United States Army Band (Pershing’s Own), and the Fife and Drum Corps. Flags from all fifty states lined the perimeter. It was so spectacular, I almost forgot why we were there; I kept thinking, Maybe this is someone else’s ceremony.
At the ceremony, Dick and I were recognized for our years of service and our contributions. We were each given awards and medals. Standing before the huge crowd, listening to someone talk about me that way, made me want to fidget; it was so humbling that I felt almost embarrassed. But I also thought about how great it was that the Army recognizes its spouses’ contributions as well. Standing there next to Dick, I knew he was thinking the same thing I was: It’s not about the awards, it’s about the rewards, and we’ve been given enough of those—every step of the way, at every duty assignment—to last a lifetime. They weren’t always tangible, but they’re memories that we’ll always carry in our hearts. How lucky we are.
I watched Dick and imagined how heavy his heart was as he made his final salutes and “trooped the line.” After the other speeches, it was his turn to talk. After he acknowledged me, the boys, our families and friends, and all the dignitaries, he got down to business. The GIs’ General did what he did best: he talked about soldiers and soldiering. “Being a soldier is a privilege and honor few will ever know,” he shared. “I have been trained by, led by, and inspired by soldiers my entire adult life. There is no end to being a soldier. I will take off the uniform, but I will always be a soldier.”
He put into perspective his thirty-six years of service to our country without taking credit for himself; instead, he gave all the credit to the soldiers he had served with. I was never more proud of Dick Cody than I was that day.
As the sun beat down on us in the front row and the ceremony wound down, I looked at my husband and thought, He did something few could ever do: he touched the soul of the Army. Through tireless, endless days at the Pentagon, as he fought for anything and everything that would make a difference in the lives of the soldiers, they all knew how much he cared. I watched him work until he was bone tired and had nothing left to give but a salute, a hug, or a coin. This man is my hero.
Clint and Tyler were up on the podium with Dick for the Pass in Review, the final act of a military ceremony or parade, when all the units pass by and render honors (a salute) to the reviewing officer—in this case, Dick. For this particular occasion, the ceremony was performed by the Old Guard at Fort Myer, Virginia, where those units and other soldiers carried the flags of all fifty states. After that, the band played the Army song, signaling the end of the ceremony, and everyone stood and sang along, just as we had done at every Army ceremony and parade for Dick’s entire career.
When we stood up, I turned to Brooke and said, “Let’s go up there and stand with our guys.”
“Can we do that? Are we allowed?”
“Of course we can.” I took Austin’s hand, and the three of us walked over to the podium and up the steps, stood next to Dick, Clint, and Tyler, and sang the Army song together, one last time. What a moment; what a day.
And then it was over. Dick and I walked off the parade field together, hand in hand, just as we had begun our journey back in August 1975. We looked at each other, and without a word, our eyes said it all: no regrets.
PS: I read somewhere that one of the keys to a strong marriage is sharing new adventures and discovering new things together as a couple. Dick and I didn’t have to pay to go off on expensive and exotic adventures; we got those courtesy of the good old US Army! Every time we packed up, loaded up, and set out on the highway or the airways for a new location, it was us against the world. We discovered new places together and made a new life, first as a couple and, later, as a family. Knowing we had each other comforted us and bonded us eternally, no matter whether we were in Hawaii, lower Alabama, or Korea. It was all part of the greatest journey we would ever go on.
Epilogue
McLean, Virginia, 2015
It sure is quiet here in suburbia. We live just fifteen minutes from Fort Myer, fifteen minutes from our former life, and yet at times it feels surreal that Dick’s career in the Army has come and gone. We still go to Sunday Mass at the Fort Myer Chapel; I go to the Fort Myer fitness center; and sometimes when I drive by our old house, I feel almost as if that was someone else’s life. Each of us misses Army life off and on; the nostalgia comes over me or Dick at the strangest times, not always when we expect it.
Obviously, both of us went through an adjustment period after Dick’s retirement. Dick’s transition to civilian life was far greater and more traumatic than mine. There were times in the beginning when we had no one but each other. Together we sorted through, downsized, reminisced and grieved, and eventually we let go of the past. In doing so, we discovered new aspects of our relationship, as
we had more time for just the two of us than we’d had in years. The first time we went on a trip and Dick didn’t have to sign out on leave, we felt like kids skipping school. We realized we could go skiing for ten days if we wanted to, we could go on date night any night of the week, we could visit our kids and grandkids or go up to Vermont as often as we wished. I could actually accompany Dick on business trips to places like Paris, or ride the train to New York City for a night out. All these things may sound trivial to many in our age group, but to us, it was as if a whole new set of freedoms and a new world of adventures had opened up.
After six weeks of “quiet time,” Dick began a second career in the corporate world. His job is the perfect fit for him, and his mentors played an important role in helping him find just the right position. Dick needs to work, not for the money but for a sense of purpose. He is not one to sit around the house, hanging out with me all day.
I, on the other hand, was perfectly content to decorate and set up our new home, and I frequently reminded Dick, “This is the last time I intend to move!” And once everything was in order, I was able to begin my newest journey: writing my memoir.
Our family has grown in the past few years. Clint finally met his soul mate at Fort Campbell, Kentucky. Kimberly, a West Pointer, had deployed twice to Iraq with the 101st Airborne, but in all that time, their paths had never crossed. When they met, at a mutual friend’s party, they both agreed it would probably never amount to anything, as Clint was on his way to Afghanistan for yet another deployment and Kim was in the process of getting out of the Army. But isn’t that how it usually works—when you least expect it? For them, it was just meant to be. Two years later, they married at West Point, and in 2012, they blessed us with another grandson, Connor. Clint deployed again to Afghanistan and returned safely. They had a second son, Dillon, in November 2014.
Tyler and Brooke had another son, Zachary, in 2009. When they got stationed in DC, we were able to watch Austin and Zac grow, and to enjoy their company for a blessed three-year period.
Our lives have come full circle, as we are now on the sidelines. We have watched with pride as our sons have commanded aviation companies and completed military and civilian schooling; they continue to honor our country with their service. We agonize and worry when they leave their wives and young children to deploy, but we cherish our time with our grandchildren and continue to wonder how we got so lucky. Above all, we understand the joys, the challenges, the ups and the downs of their Army lives.
We have stayed connected to the Army and have had plenty of opportunities to attend ceremonies, black-tie events, and galas. At first it was strange for me to see Dick in a tuxedo, rather than in his dress blues. But so many of his friends are in tuxedos now, I don’t give it a second thought.
We love living in the DC area for a number of reasons. We have a network of old Army friends who retired here, too, as well as a continual flow of friends who are still serving and are always coming back to our city. Dick’s office overlooks the Pentagon, and he is a frequent visitor there for meetings. We attend promotions and all the usual events that include retired four-star generals, and we watch with pride as this generation of officers and soldiers, men and women who were young when they served for and with Dick, become the leaders of our Army. I think we would have missed too much of this if we had packed up and moved back to Vermont.
Clint recently got stationed at the Pentagon, so we now have the joy of spending time with him and Kimberly and watching their young boys grow, too. Tyler is back in the 101st Airborne Division and deployed to Afghanistan.
And the circle of Army life continues.
Acknowledgments
Writing this memoir has been one of the most gratifying things I have ever done. It was therapeutic, and at times very emotional, to go back in time and examine every aspect of my marriage and motherhood. I relived every move, every joy and sadness, every challenge and triumph. In the end, I still wouldn’t change a thing about my life.
Thank you to Brooke Warner, Chrystal Patriarche, and their wonderful teams at She Writes Press and Spark Point Studio for taking me on. You make it easy for brand-new authors.
I would like to thank A.J. (Tony) Tata who was my first mentor and believed I had a story worth telling. A great big thank-you to my editor, Annie Tucker, who read my manuscript and, through the too many words and too many pages, saw the potential. You “got it” from the beginning, and with your gentle guidance and prodding, you brought out the best in me. I can’t thank you enough!
I want to thank my family, Dick’s family, and my friends, who have been so understanding and supportive for these last eight years while I plodded along on this project. I’m sure many of you didn’t think I would ever finish. Sometimes, I didn’t think I would finish. A special thank-you to Nancy, who read my drafts repeatedly, listened to me complain, procrastinate, and continued to encourage me.
Thanks to my mom and dad for their unconditional love, always believing in me, and being my biggest fans; I would not be who I am today without you. To my sister and closest confidante, and to my brother, thank you for always being there for me, even as I came in and out of your lives all these years.
To all my fellow Army spouses, past and present, thank you for showing me the way when I was a brand-new Army wife and for passing on to me all of the wonderful traditions of Army life. To this generation of Army spouses, including my daughters-in-law, thank you for teaching me even more about resiliency and strength during a very difficult time for our military. You have shouldered far more burdens than my generation ever had to. You all inspire me each and every day.
To Clint and Tyler, thank you for being the best sons a mother could ask for. It has been nothing but joy to raise you and watch you grow into such fine officers, leaders, and pilots—and, most important, wonderful husbands and fathers. Thank you for your service and all the sacrifices you continue to make for all of us. I couldn’t be more proud. You and your wives and beautiful sons are such a blessing to our family.
Thank you to the most important person in my life, Dick. I have never once regretted the journey we have taken. You were the inspiration for me to write this story. It is to you, our sons, and all the men and women who wear the uniform, that I dedicate this book. Thank you for being my biggest cheerleader all these years, especially during the writing of our story. I could not have done this without your guidance and unfailing support. The fact that we are still in love, still rockin’ the slopes at A-Basin, doing date night, laughing at each other’s jokes, and enjoying life together, is a miracle that few people know.
About the Author
Vicki Cody grew up in Burlington, Vermont and graduated from the University of Vermont with a BS degree in education in 1975. For the next thirty-three years she was an Army wife, supporting her husband in his career. While raising their two sons and moving all over the United States and overseas, she served as a coach and mentor for other Army spouses, and as an advocate for Army families.
Her first book, Your Soldier, Your Army: A Parents’ Guide was published by the Association of the United States Army in 2005. Her articles have appeared in numerous military magazines and publications. This is her first memoir.
She and her husband of forty years live in the Washington, DC area.
SELECTED TITLES FROM SHE WRITES PRESS
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Visit us at www.shewritespress.com.
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