Chapter 12
“I’ll get it,” Jenny said as she got up. Opening the door there was Lal Bahadur Shastri. Jenny gasped in excitement. “You’re from India!”
“I am… were you short one Indian?” Lal asked.
“Yes!” Jenny exclaimed hugging him.
“Come in I’ll grab you a chair,” I said.
I enjoyed Lal’s tender response to the hug. The room was quite full but it was so fun and exciting to have them all there.
“Sorry to barge in, but Tom and I were talking about how we wished we could be at the party. Then he was just gone, and I saw him just walk in here and not get kicked out. So I figured it was sort of an open invite; I did ask permission and was told I could do whatever I wanted, so here I am.”
“Well, the topic right now is on the inscription on the back of the Jenny’s new watch.”
Jenny, who had just pulled up a chair beside Lal handed him the watch. He flipped it over and after he read it…
All eyes were on him, “Ready go!” I encouraged.
“Well the whole writing goes like this:” Lal began.
“Our ability to forgive is a direct measure of our hope;
Our patience is a measure of our humility;
And most importantly: Our ability to listen with patience and understanding is the measure of our love; Because love is the measure of a man… or woman.
The Quote just says man, but it means mankind” Lal said apologetically turning to Jenny.
“I know,” Jenny said not offended in the least bit.
“I should have realized you didn’t need extra explaining after watching the last dinner party. Anyway, well the reason patience is a measure of Humility is because, if my good is your good, and yours mine, I will enjoy yours when it comes just as much as if it were mine.”
There was silence for a few seconds, then thinking out loud Lal continued, “that is funny, bringing it up just now, I just realized the irony of my entrance to the party,” and he chuckled. “I guess then again, sometimes you’re waiting in line for a party and even though you were happy for those that did get in, even when you didn’t, you just crash the party anyways.”
“It was already crashed.” Jefferson added and we all laughed.
“What about hope?” Jenny asked not at all distracted.
“Oh yes, sorry, I’m easy sidetracked. Hope goes right along with humility. All hope is interconnected, because anything one would hope for is good, and all good is interconnected. Hope is the vision of what we can become. God sees the whole picture of our possibilities, which every part is so amazing, that many are temporarily content with just part of the vision. It is impossible however to truly develop any virtue independent of the rest.
There is the temptation to wish for ‘bad things’ but that’s really just pursuing something good in a wrong way, or being content with some very small good intertwined with a bunch of bad.”
“Grandpa says it’s not worth it to find a penny in a pile of dog poop,” Jenny added.
“Very right your grandpa is,” Lal said laughing. “I almost forgot I didn’t finish that though; if you have any hope in good, then you should also have hope in the greatest good which is?”
“Love?” I answered.
“Exactly! But how?” Lal asked directing the question toward me.
“Anyone want to help me out?” I asked.
Tesla answered, “for many reasons forgiveness is important, but most of all, because it is the greatest instrument to inspire.
True forgiveness has no conditions or strings attached. We are not only obligated to forgive, but forgive unconditionally. It is easy to prepare ourselves to forgive someone, with the expectation that they will apologize and somehow make things ‘right’.
We expect the apology immediately, and the longer it takes in coming, the madder we get. That is why we should completely commit to forgive with absolutely no expectation that they will ever apologize or repair anything they might have done. The motivation to forgive in that sort of way, is for the hope that by you forgiving them, especially when they don't feel they deserve it, that might give them the glimpse of true charity they need, to look up, and to see the big picture.”
Lal picked up where Tesla left off, “Love inspires, but love is only manifest in sacrifice, and the two greatest things we can sacrifice are our selfishness and our fear.
The reason forgiveness is a measure of our faith, is because if we really believe that we are all brothers and sisters, and that we all want to be happily together in heaven, then we will do anything and everything to inspire and encourage others to change for the better.”
“Going back a little bit if you don’t mind, I feel like what was said about patience measuring humility is true, but could you elaborate?” I asked.
Tesla answered for Lal, I could tell they were good friends, because one could immediately pick up where the other left off.
“Humility doesn't mean thinking less or low of yourself; in fact it’s thinking more of yourself, just not more about yourself. A humble person shares ownership in not only his own good, but the good of every person.
Humility is realizing we are all in this together, and we all need each other’s help. Humility means also being above reproach, not that we have less to stumble on ourselves, but to not be a stumbling block for anyone else. On the tree of life, we can either be branches bearing fruit, reaching farther and farther out towards those who hunger, or we can be vines with thorns that wrap around and constrict and strangle the fruit bearing branches, and cutting all who come near.” Tesla said pausing because he could tell I had a question.
“I think what is hardest for me, is the distinction relating to humility, between confidence and arrogance; and how does one develop confidence without becoming prideful?”
“Any takers.” Tesla asked looking around at everyone.
“Alright” Booker said cracking his knuckles.
What I noticed that time, was that everyone smiled every time someone else spoke, as if they were excited to see the spin each person would put on each different topic.
It seems in my experience there are people who care about a topic and like to listen to themselves talk, and people who don’t care and are irritated by those who do. It was so refreshing to see the genuine interest in not only the topics being discussed, but in who was discussing them.
Booker started, “It sounds like there's a story that goes a long with the question.”
I sighed, “Well I never really thought about myself as a prideful person. I always felt that it was unnecessary and impossible to have an accurate assessment of my own pride or humility. But, more than a few times Ann would call me out on my pride when it would rear its ugly head.
I realized it most, one time before I met Ann, when a bought of pride with a security officer got me kicked out of somewhere very few if anyone, has ever gotten kicked out of. I found myself saying things that were pretty hurtful, and being happy about it. I usually try not to even entertain thoughts like that, but in the moment there I was actually saying them, just because I felt put out by him.”
“You could say the problem with pride, or maybe part of the antidote against it is: people are pretty understanding of almost all shortcomings, except an overabundance of pride.
Pride is not looked at as a weakness, though it is the epitome of it. You might hear 'oh that poor alcoholic probably had an awful upbringing' but you never hear any sympathy for a prideful person, 'poor thing is probably horribly insecure, maybe we should validate him as a person to help him out.' That's what you should hear, but you won’t. What I will say though, is that the key to curing pride is not so much in loving others more, but actually in loving yourself more. Loving your neighbor as yourself does no good if you don’t love yourself.
If you think back, what helped you the most to eliminate pride, was when you got married; not just that getting married is a humbling experience…” he said with laugh
. “But knowing that someone else knew who you were, and loved you for it, reinforced your self-worth.”
“So pride stems only from insecurity?” I asked; the answer seemed too simple.
“Well it can envelope in habit, but then again with renewed self-worth comes a more refined self-inspection. So in that case it would be more easily caught, and then able to be eliminated.
Don’t think though that insecurity begets only pride. That brings us back to what was said in an earlier party, that the only two real motives are fear and love. Once you start to realize that, in helping yourself and others it makes the diagnosis and the prescription a lot easier.”
It wasn’t something that should have got to me, but the first thing that came to my mind when he said the word diagnosis was my son who’s a doctor, which led me to think about my son Ron who passed away. I must not be good at hiding my emotions because Booker asked, “What’s on your mind Mr. Parker?”
“I was just thinking about my son Ron who passed away.”
“You seem unsettled about it, is there anything you would like to talk about?” Booker asked sincerely.
Though hesitant to open up that box of emotion, I felt an overwhelming trust, one that it would be received with care, but also that they might be able to help me.
“He was twenty when the Second World War broke out. He was drafted into the army. Months later when David turned eighteen, he also was drafted.
Ann and I prayed harder than we had ever prayed in our lives, that they would be protected and come home safely. One day we received a letter telling us that Ron had gone missing in battle.
We were devastated, Ann worried herself sick not only for missing Ron, but for David who was still fighting.
Three months later we received a letter from Ron saying that a bomb had blown up his infantry, and only he and one other were left wounded but alive; taken into captivity and tortured, but that they had led an escape of more than fifty prisoners of war.
He said that he loved us and that he wished he could take the leave they had granted him, but he could not abandon, not only his country, but his brother who was still fighting. That was the last letter we received from him.
Two weeks later he was again wounded in battle and taken captive. David was part of one of the infantries that took that German camp almost half a year later.
David found Ron and saw how the gangrene had filled his leg. ‘I’m not doing well brother, be sure to tell Mom and Dad I love them.’
They made it all the way back to the medical bay which was overwhelmed by soldiers on the brink of death.
It wasn’t until two days later when the operation could be done which he ultimately did not survive; they couldn’t stop the bleeding because the infection had spread too high up his leg. He lost consciousness and that was it.
It might not have been the doctors; his body was weak from not eating and also from the infection. What I can’t seem to let go is one, how could the Germans just watch as a man slowly die and do nothing, and second, was there anything any of us could have done to save him?” I said suddenly realizing my whole body had tensed up and I was shaking.
Booker sighed and said, “Those are two hard questions that I am not going to pretend I have the answer for, but what I can say, is that if before you were born, you had been given the option to go through some great trial and a big sacrifice on your part, to save the soul of someone you loved, would you agree to it?”
The first thought in my head was dying instead of my son, “I would in a heartbeat.”
“Would you then allow your son the same opportunity?” Booker said, his voice cutting off with emotion and his eyes welling up with tears.
Suddenly I felt selfish and cold, and all at once all of the sadness and bad feelings I had bottled up, erupted in my emotion and I began to cry uncontrollably.
Booker waited while I struggled to fight the emotion. Finally after calming down he continued.
“You will see later all of what your son did; not just as one soldier fighting for his country, or even the world, but as one of the elect, inspiring and changing hearts.
Eternity hung in the balance for many, and it was just enough weight that he placed in the favor of love with his life, that made the difference.
Even if he would have single handedly stopped every war and every person from dying, nothing eternally would have changed for the good; in fact if there were no wars or death, there would be many who never would discovered the war that wages in their heart between good and evil, for the eternal possession of their soul.
And as far as the Germans, I know for a fact that Ron would say to just let it go. If you don’t believe me you can ask Abe about the matter.
It wasn’t that I didn’t believe him, but though my mind seemed slightly more settled on the topic, my heart was still racing. I wished that something someone would say would calm my heart. I looked at Abe and I could tell he knew what I was thinking.
“So what are your thoughts Abe about…” Booker asked for me. “About how you were... Um... You know...”
“Assassinated?” Lincoln said and then laughed. "Well yeah obviously not my first choice on leaving this world. But I haven't really thought about it much since. I guess maybe going in my sleep would have been better, also a little weird; be dreaming and then just have the dream get super vivid as I pass to the other side.
I don’t know if I would have thought I were still dreaming; I think I’d think, 'yep, I'm dead.' oh well! As for me I don’t have any hard feelings, it’s kind of an inside joke between John and I now though."
"Not so inside, I'm not even American and I know what he did," I objected.
"Yeah well sometimes we slip up," Lincoln defended.
"And kill the president of a country?" I asked incredulously.
“I've seen worse. That was only a short period of bad thinking, and our countries were at war. I think a man who beats his wife every day is a million times worse off; neglecting a child is terrible or worse.
My situation with John was patched up real quick; I wasn't even expecting an apology or even thinking about it. There was just so much going on after I passed to the other side, there wasn’t enough time for drama.
It was a surprise to see him. But if there was any patching up to do, it was fixed with, 'hey sorry about that man' 'no worries, I shouldn’t have put my face there'. It’s been funny ever since. Like way funny actually; ‘hey Abe, remember when I killed you, and then tripped and fell off the balcony and broke my leg?’ ‘Oh good times’ I always respond.
Most people can’t say stuff like that; what they say is a lot harder to laugh off. ‘Remember when I was drunk, and I broke your arm and your heart; and remember how you couldn't ever sleep at night because you never knew how I was going to come home from the bar at night; and how I would come in late at night and you would pretend you were asleep, with your eyes closed. You’d try not to shake while tears soaked your pillow? Oh yeah and how the only thing that kept you going, despite the fear and depression, was your love for the kids, and how if you weren't there, no one would have been there to protect them from me?”
"That’s the saddest thing." I said horrified.
“That indeed is. It is easy for a stranger or war enemy that offends you, to say that if they really knew you, they wouldn't have tried to hurt you. But when they know all the good that is in you, and valued it as not only nothing, but somehow reason to hurt you, that pain goes much deeper.
You might think that situation only applies to a few, but not only is it exactly the case for more than I would ever wish to count, we are all on a gradient, and many are closer than they would think to a violent drunk who they would easily condemn…
Though this is very sad to think about, it shouldn’t be cause to let the fire of hope in and love for humanity die down. What we should always remember is that God’s plan was never to build a mortal world free of sadness and pain; his plan was to create immo
rtal free souls that would triumph over the cruelty in an imperfect world, and we will… we all eventually will.”
“It’s no wonder everyone who knew anything about you admired you,” I said in awe of the power, but also frank humility there was when he spoke.
“Thank you, but most people don’t really know that much about me… not saying I was terribly bad, but to many, I was easy to like, especially in a historical sense.
Objectively looking at things I actually did, many people who would say they liked me, would probably change their mind. I overwrote habeas corpus and put people in prison without trial that were merely suspected of insurrection. It really was the best option at the time, but in hearing people talk about leadership choices of that kind, most of the time it is in a negative light and rarely if ever am I brought into the conversation, not even as a precedent. Why is that?”
“You're Abraham Lincoln!” I exclaimed.
“It’s not a matter of people, but choices. It doesn't matter who's making the decision, if it’s right it’s right, and if it’s wrong it’s wrong. People are much easier to follow than choices, because choices reach all the way down through every part of you, down to the very central most part of you that really chooses - the helm of your soul.
A person can be accepted or rejected, on a limited outer suspected annoyance or entertainment; ‘He's a funny chap, and hasn't done me any wrong, so why should I hate him?’ He paused making an exasperated look.
Abe continued, “I will love every person, but I will never support bad chooses. I will only use my sphere of influence to enable and encourage anything that is good. An ignorant person will try to judge people, but the lifelong endeavor of the wise, is to continually better their judgment of choices.”
To my utter surprise there was yet another knock at the door. Jenny looked at me, smiled and then got up and went to the door. Standing in the door frame was Winston Churchill and Charles Darwin; I just started to laugh.
“Don’t worry I’m fine sitting on the ground,” Churchill said as he entered the room.
“Well come on in, we’ll find somewhere for you,” I welcomed.
Churchill came in and plopped down on the floor and Charles stood behind the couch leaning on it with his hands.
“I’m sure we can find something for you to sit on,” I offered Darwin.
“No really I’m good here, thank you though,” Darwin replied.
I soon realized one of the reasons he chose to stand there, to mess with Jefferson from behind.
Almost as if it was a joke, there was another knock at the door. I couldn’t believe it. Jenny was about to stand up, but then the door opened as Albert Einstein just walked in.
“I figured I’d save you the trouble of getting up,” Einstein said.
“Sit wherever you’d like,” I told him.
“This will do fine.” He pulled the bench from in front of the piano. “While I’m still up want me to open a window?” Einstein offered.
“That would be great, especially if there are more visitors on their way.”
“There might be, I did hear some talk,” Einstein said shrugging.
I counted, and including Jenny and I there were fifteen of us. I suddenly realized I didn’t know how all of them would have time to speak; if we ran out of time in other parties with half this many, we would most likely not have enough time tonight.
Washington whom seemed very quiet but attentive the whole time must have read my mind because he spoke, “Don’t worry yourself too much Mr. Parker; I would say most of us are just here to enjoy the good company.”
That did settle my nerves quite a bit, but still there were so many different questions I had for each person that I didn’t know where to start. More than a little overwhelmed, I was glad to hear Grant’s voice as he started to speak.
“I think I’ll try and give you some background of some of us that you probably wanted to know, and throw in some insight. Let’s see if I can answer some of the questions you might have.”
“Thank you, I do wish I could hear every one of your stories.”
“For another party I suppose,” Grant began, “A little background I will say now is that of Washington. Few if any really know the circumstances the colonies faced at the time of the war of Independence. The union at that time was in no way a country; they were not all Americans as we might imagine them. The people that composed the differing states were all in America for different reasons: some for religious freedom, some for opportunity, and some to escape authorities. Some were loyal to the crown of England and some were quite the opposite.
Washington was a great soldier which led him to becoming an amazing general, but that was only the raw material; for what he made of it, was something far greater.
Washington was the standard bearer, the only one that everyone could’ve rallied behind as the country was brought together, and established it upon principles of righteousness.
To quote a historian, ‘it was the weight of Washington’s name, more than any other one factor that led to the formation and adoption of the Constitution.’ To also quote Jenny’s good friend Will, ‘What is in a name?’
A name is a title, the title of a cause; a name is what we make of it. Washington’s name was and is freedom, unity, justice and hope. What he made of his name was the foundation, which he built upon with the eternal principles of creation and persuasion. Those two principles are what define a great leader. It is not enough to form good ideas and do nothing with them, or to use flattery to have others blindly follow you into a pit. Part of the plan is how to accomplish the end goal, and the other part is how you plan to help others see the value in following it,” Grant concluded.
“I apparently did something wrong because my name means a lot of weird things,” Darwin said with a laugh.
“Being above reproach doesn’t mean being above slander; anyway, your name does mean many great and insightful things to some,” Lee said turning to Darwin.
“It means a lot to me,” Einstein started. “Divine selection… wow, on so many levels it is so profound. Just as the world seemed to have just come together full of life on its own, to something so beautiful, our seemingly insignificant mortal experience develops inside of us a celestial quality of life.”
“But what about all those who use your name to support the opposite?” I asked feeling a little bad after I said it, because I felt Grant was cut off but I could see he wasn’t in the least bothered.
“I really don’t blame anyone,” Darwin began. “It is really hard to keep searching for the truth, when you’ve already found an answer that you like. Sometimes quartz looks a lot like a diamond, and is much easier to find. I’m not saying that a diamond is better than quartz, but the fact of the matter is quartz isn’t diamond.
A drill with a diamond tip can cut through just about anything, there’s no use pretending quartz can do the job. A lot of people wanted very badly to have something on the other side of the ledger to balance out the argument the universe proposes - that there is a design; that a designer created with a purpose, a purpose with an ultimate and infinite end goal. When I look out at the universe, the overwhelming beauty instills in my soul, the desire to have the designer of it, guide me in what I can do with my little sphere of influence.”
“That is a good point. It does look like he knows what he’s doing,” I admitted.
“Just wait until you get to talk to him about it… Wow! Seriously… Wow!”
“I can only imagine the science is passed understanding,” I commented.
“It is and it isn’t,” Darwin responded. “It’s just overwhelming; it’s one thing to figure out how something works, it is another to figure out how to make something work. Designing proteins… creating life, it’s incredible.
Imagine a blueprint of this house, with every room; every material used to build the house. Now imagine every molecule it is composed of and their locations. Don’t worry you can just imagine the mole
cule as crude abstract entities… even though they are not. Overwhelmed yet?”
“Definitely,” I confessed.
“Now imagine that detailed of a map of the world…”
Everyone just watched as every single wheel and cog in my brain stopped completely.
Darwin smiled and continued. “Not any bias on my behalf, but I think evolution is one of the most beautiful spiritual insights ever.”
Though my brain seemed like Jello from trying to process the map of the world, he had my complete attention.
“Not only are the plans of creation incredibly amazing, the plans for making plans are extensive and unending; but on a closer look they are all just little logical steps.
If I said ‘go organize a universe’ it no doubtedly would seem impossible, but it’s not. Plan it out thoroughly, and then carry it out exactly. The purpose of this world is to take the plans He gave us, which are the plans to create plans, and create a plan with it, then carry it out!
He wasn’t going to spoil the fun and give us His plans, except as model; we get to make our own. You might be wondering why I’m, not the first person to say ‘the purpose of life is… and then say something different.”
“No one has said anything contradictory,” I confessed.
“The seemingly impossible was planned out, and carefully carried out, and it is beautiful. Even though the plan that was made was perfect, the execution was critical.”
Darwin looked over at Jenny feeling worried that she was a little lost, but she didn’t seemed fazed.
“Well I think God did a good job making the world,” Jenny commented sensing attention being directed toward her.
Churchill spoke, “you are such a good sport Jenny, to just absorb as much as you can, and try to enjoy the conversation.”
“Thank you, and I am enjoying it very much,” she replied embarrassed by the attention but also proud of herself.
Churchill continued, “The world tends to make us more rigid. Good nature and compliancy are not appreciated as they should be. Under the name of perfectionism people justify obsessive behavior for having things the way they want, and even worse, act as if in some way it was more refined. That idea is directly counter to the way of happiness. People who are not willing to bend, are just not happy people.
No man can fight every battle, and no man should. There are a few really important battles that will require all we have, and merit the priority; there are also countless other things that are not worth even a second of trouble.”
Lee began speaking, “What usually seems to govern the attention we attribute to each thing, is the attention others attribute to the things we do. There is a struggle between what we feel we should do, and what society pressures us to value. It is a battle that ends in a complete victory of one side or the other.
Myself, I would prefer to navigate my own way to the best of my own judgment, than to be carried by the mainstream, the animal part common to each of us determines. Also streams always go downhill. I will explain a time when I realized the full weight of the influence society had on me.”
I could tell Jenny loved the stories as much as I did, and Lee’s story did not disappoint. “As a young man while I was in the army. While I was stationed in a small town, I saw a young man run as fast as he could from his house, moments later to see the whole family from the house he entered come running back to the house where he had left.
I didn’t know the details, but by the weeping I could tell that one of their children must have passed away. My comrade Johnny and I were not very far off, we moved toward them to see what we could do.
I was standing there watching the two boys cry as they walked out of the house. It was a teary haze with more anguish than I have ever seen; lamenting the loss of their sister. I wanted to help but I didn’t know what I could do. I didn’t know them or their sister, and even if I did, I thought ‘what could I possibly say that would give them any comfort or peace?’ The one boy looked to be about fourteen and the other maybe ten years old.
I wished I could do something or even feel anything; I just felt a hollow desire to feel empathy.
I saw my friend Johnny walk over and pick up the young boy from the chair he was sitting on. He sat down and tightly held the boy in his arms on his lap, crying with him.
All the emotion I could have ever asked for; came rushing as I realized that he truly understood suffering. He had felt real pain and felt loneliness, he knew that it didn’t matter what anyone thought, or that he had never even seen the boy before.
He knew that as he just held that boy weeping in his arms, crying with him, that he was doing as much as anyone ever could in those moments. In real situations only real things matter. The mask of social vanity and insecurity was pulled off him and I saw the face of an angel.
Johnny was not every day the person that he was inside, maybe because he had suffered a lot. It would have been really easy to judge him before, but I am glad that I never had. Until that moment, I had never known what compassion really was.
I wish I could have picked up the older boy and held him, but I couldn’t take the mask of insecurity off myself; I hated myself for it.
I am eternally grateful for that experience as a young man, because it set a direction and precedence for my whole life; to break my worldly shell and take off the mask of insecurity that plagued my existence,” Lee finished and sat back in his chair.
Flavius stood which surprised me, and then spoke, “There really is nothing of greater priority! It is not merely a shell like a coat that can be taken off and put back on whenever desired, but a disease that will eventually consume not only your flesh but all of you. It starts from the outside and seeps in.
In the endeavor to rid yourself of the disease, you should never see yourself starting or ending; in fact, don’t picture yourself as being in or at any part of the journey, but reflect honestly and constantly on what direction you are heading, and how much energy and heart you are trying to move forward with.
Mortality tries to trick us into thinking; that we can graduate from charity or morality once we have built up enough.
‘Enough!’” he said with a scoff. “How much you have, is how much you exert; the down fall of any good man, is thinking the good he has already done is enough to sustain him.
I was reminded when I got to the other side, what I feel I was supposed to have understood on earth, about the seriousness of engaging all of my faculties, to becoming what we were designed to become when God told me:
‘Let this change you. Let this take hold in the very center of your soul. Write it on the walls of your heart. Let this emanate through every part of you, and trickle into every aspect of your life.
You were not designed to be merely a good person, but that through the experience of mortality you could embrace the divinity you were created with. I do not merely want you to get along with others, but for everyone to be one, and one in me. Not for my glory, but that the glory of godliness will exalt you to a higher plane of existence, beyond anything you've ever imagined.
Throw out weakness and fear; rid yourself of those spoiled garments. Adorn yourself with new garments, spotless and pure. Be reborn. Set your hand to the plow and look not back. Take that first step onto the water; do not fear the wind or the waves, for it is I your Lord and Savior who beckon you. Listen o listen to my voice, which is the voice of the Good Sheppard who calls you; for why should ye parish for naught?’
Parker, the bar has been set, for you and for I, and all the rest of humanity should we chose to accept the invitation,” Flavius concluded powerfully.
That was a very compelling way to end the night. The consensus was confirmed as everyone stood. They all one by one gave both Jenny and I hugs, and said goodbye and left.
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