Hale didn’t miss her as much as miss the idea of her. Perhaps the man he was now could love her better. At the time, he never opened himself up, never really gave himself to her. He’d simply taken what she’d offered. He was a real prick for doing it too.
Now, Hale only loved two people in his life. One was the brother he’d seen a couple hours earlier.
He picked up his phone. Dialed the number. It only rang three times.
“Hale.” Her voice sounded a little desperate but not upset that he had called.
“Morning, Jess.”
She sighed loudly. Maybe he didn’t love this woman, but as Benz’s wife and Eddie’s stand-in mother, he would take a bullet for her. He owed it to Janie too. All right, maybe Jess made it three people he loved, but he wasn’t about to admit it. “How are you?” she asked.
He almost smiled. “A lot better now that I know you actually care.”
“God, Hale. Don’t be an asshole. Of course I care.”
“She must not be up yet if you’re cussing.”
“She’s just getting up now.”
“Can I talk to her?”
“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” It was like she added that last bit to talk herself into it. “She’ll be a few minutes. How are you holding up?”
“I’ve been better, but I could be worse. You watch it?”
“No. I don’t usually watch that stuff, not much anyway.”
“The numbers are unbelievable. You must be the only one who doesn’t want to see me get punched in the face and get my ass handed to me for once.”
She laughed softly. “Well, I didn’t say I wouldn’t watch it. I said I don’t usually. Benz told me everything, though. That bad, huh?”
“Afraid so.”
He heard her sigh again and breathe in like she was going to say something. Part of him wanted to make her say it first, but he caved.
“I guess it’ll be a while before I can see Eddie.” He could feel his swollen face tightening up and hear the gruffness in his voice. “Can’t really have her see me like this.”
Her slight nod and pursed lips would make no sound, yet he knew that’s what she was doing.
In the uncomfortable silence that followed, Hale considered not telling her the next part, but he kept going.
“Look,” he began, “I’m sure you heard the fight last night had… irregularities. Benz and I talked, and he’s gonna make a few subtle inquiries.”
Silence.
He kept going. “We need to know more about what’s going on. He’s concerned if he asks for any favors, he’s gonna have to… that he’s gonna get sucked back in. They’re gonna want him to take up some of his old duties.”
“I’d say that’s a damn valid concern for him to have.”
“Yeah.” Hale had a moment of panic that Benz had already talked to his wife about this. Had he told her that Hale had a weird fascination with the kid? Did she figure Hale may have manipulated Benz into this situation? Could she see that this wasn’t about Shadow Fray at all?
“Why are you telling me this?”
“I want you to know what’s what, and I want you to hear it from me, since I’m the one who asked him to do it.”
“Consider me informed.”
“And Jess… I don’t want anything bad to happen. Tell him to be careful. If he can’t do it without going in deeper, tell him not to do it.”
“You think he’ll listen to me?”
“He always listens to you.”
The breathy grunt he heard over the phone let Hale know clearly that she didn’t agree. “Not where you’re concerned, Hale. He doesn’t listen to me then.”
Silence.
This time it was Jess who continued. “If you don’t want him in any danger, you need to call him off. Don’t put this on me.” He could hear the anger building in her voice. “How in the world you managed to get your hooks so far into everyone I love, I have no idea.”
“If I wasn’t in Shadow Fray, who knows what Benz would be doing right now? He could still be offing people in dark alleys, if he didn’t get a bullet to the head himself.”
“Don’t, Hale. You don’t know that.”
“Don’t know nothin’. All I’m saying is that I’d rather be on your team than against you. We’re all in this together, like it or not.” Why did things always go to hell when he talked to this woman?
“All right.” He could tell the “all right” didn’t necessarily mean agreement. “Here’s Edna.”
He took in a big breath while Eddie accepted the phone. He could hear Jess indistinctly in the background saying something. He wanted to be in the moment with Eddie, and he needed to put all those other emotions with Jess aside. Transition.
“Hi, Hale!”
“Hey there, Baby Doll.”
“Mama says you’re sick.”
“Yeah. Yeah, that’s right. I’m real sick.”
“Why? What’s wrong?” He could hear the fear in her voice and realized sick could mean a lot worse than sick. Even at her young age, the Thinning had apparently been ingrained in her. Puzzling, because Benz or Jess wouldn’t have talked to her about the epidemics that had a hand in wiping out so many people so long ago, not yet, and he knew for damned sure he didn’t talk to her about so dark a topic. She was too young. Must be that fucking Chixago Building school. What other horrors had they taught her? Theories on the poisoned ground? The coastal flooding? Jesus, she was only six….
He swallowed his anger, making sure his voice was calm. “Oh no, no, no. I’m not sick like that. Nothing serious. I got body aches is all. I’m sore. Can’t move around real good. I suppose I’ll have to stay in bed for a while.”
“Can you come over tomorrow?”
“No, I’m afraid not,” he said sadly. “I just love you so much that I can’t get you sick, and I don’t wanna get your mama or daddy sick either. So I better stay away for a while until I feel better, but I’d sure like to talk to you every day.”
“Mama says I can play online with you after school. We can video too.”
“Oh, I’d really like to play games with you. That’s a great idea. I don’t think I can video yet, though. This new place I got, they’re real strict about that.”
“That’s so silly. Everyone can video, you know. Just use your phone!”
His kid was too damn smart for her own good.
“It’s not that I can’t do it; it’s that they don’t like it here. But you know what? I’ll ask ’em. Maybe they can bend the rules for me a little bit when I tell them how pretty you are and that I just can’t not look at my beautiful Baby Doll.” Parenting Strategy 101, there. When you don’t have an answer, put it off.
“Okay. Mama says I gotta eat breakfast.”
“I sure will miss my breakfast with you.”
“Me too. Breakfast is no fun. It’s so boring.” In that moment he could picture her expression. She’d open her mouth and get this look and sigh. She hadn’t picked up the eye roll yet that would one day replace it, so it was still cute.
“Tell you what. I haven’t been sleeping so good, so you’d be doing me a real favor if you let me call and read you a story at night before you go to bed.” He immediately felt guilty for mentioning his troubles. She didn’t need to know about his problems. He should be protecting her from that, not making her a part of it. “Maybe you’re too big for stories, though.”
“Mmmmm… well I could read you a story.”
“Could you? Wow, I sure am gonna look forward to that.” He was certain she could hear the joy in his voice. He was smiling as big as he could with hurt lips and a sore jaw. It felt like the biggest smile he’d ever had. “You have a good day at school, Baby Doll. I sure do love you lots and lots.”
“Love you too. Take lots of naps.”
“I’ll do that. Bye-bye now.”
“Bye.”
He put aside the phone and closed his eyes. At least for a little while, he’d be able to sleep.
JUSTIN, GIN, and Char
lie sat waiting in their small car as the dim light of dawn turned into the full light of day. They were parked next to the semi in the garage. Other workers were beginning to show up, but the only one who would notice their car was Ray. He’d go right by as he went into the adjacent manager’s office.
As exhausted as Justin was, his nerves kept him semialert. He needed this job. Badly.
The complex not only manufactured condoms but also handled sales and distribution for lube and other accessories. Most of Justin’s deliveries were to retailers along the 90/94 freeway corridors, but he occasionally made special deliveries to large rises in Chicago and rarely trips to the north or farther south around Lake Michigan. Now it would be a while before he could do that, and Ray would have to cover for him.
Gin worked with Ray in the office handling sales and shipments, although she was quite capable of working the factory line as well. While they owned their condo and it had been in the family for generations, ever-expanding fees ate up the majority of both of their paychecks. It was a good job. It was just enough to maintain their level of comfort. They were very lucky in that regard, but they hadn’t always been so.
Barely maintaining was fine, but Justin and Gin both wanted a future for Charlie. With his disability it might be difficult, but they wanted Charlie to have options. Ideally he’d go to Chicago and train with the big scientists. If money was to be made, that’s how it was made. With brains. Otherwise the Uppers kept circulating the money amongst themselves. Unless you had something they wanted, like treatments in genetics, fertility, or medicine, you were continually looking up at them from the street level.
That’s why Justin needed this job. Gin should be okay—Ray was more than a boss to her; he was a friend. Justin, however, knew him only as a boss. A decent enough man, sure, but if Justin couldn’t do his job, why wouldn’t Ray throw him out on his ass?
That’s why this face-to-face meeting would be their best hope.
He’d spent the last hour sitting in the car trying not to think about the other possibilities. Those darker outcomes began with the words, “Reward leading to the arrest and conviction of….”
Ray could report him. The weird thing was, Justin was pretty sure the police didn’t care. It was the people who controlled the police and controlled the money—perhaps the mayor or the same people running Shadow Fray—that’s who cared. The Shadow Masters. Information was their safety net. If someone was careless enough to be reported, it was a sign that the rotten fruit needed to be cut off the tree. Disposed of.
Justin did not want to be disposed of. It was common knowledge that people disappeared all the time. Running across a corpse was a regular occurrence, and no one would think twice about finding one wearing his shoes and hoodie out in the wastelands of the city, even if it was a little fresher than most.
Such cheery thoughts. Justin’s eyes were heavy, but he was unable to doze. In the distance he saw a drone on the skyline, like a bird that flew in an unbelievably straight line.
“He’s here,” Gin said. Suddenly alert, Justin looked to see Ray coming toward them. Finally.
Ray was generally a friendly looking guy. He was slightly overweight, a dark-skinned black man with a round belly, black beard, and kind eyes, solidly middle-aged. Justin tensed as he saw that his boss looked troubled, his brow creased. Uh-oh. But of course he was troubled. Seeing them all here was a little out of the ordinary.
Ray came walking up to the car in jeans and a red jacket, always casual. Ray was a casual kind of guy. Justin had never seen him look upset.
This was it. The moment of truth.
He opened the passenger door where Justin was sitting.
“What the hell are you all doing here?” Shit.
“Hi, Ray. Nice to see you too.” Gin waved. “I take it those just look like jeans, but they’re really your cranky pants.”
Ray glared at her. “I’m not cranky. I just have a violent reaction to stupid people.”
Ray looked angry, but not exactly surprised. In fact, Justin was pretty taken aback that Ray didn’t look at all shocked, despite Justin’s bruised and battered state. It was Justin who was suddenly feeling surprised.
“You all are gonna have to get in the truck and let me drive you home. Leave your car here. I don’t want you driving around in broad daylight with this one looking like my mama caught his dumb bum broke ass with his hand in her cookie jar.”
“Cookie Jar. Is that your sister’s name?” Gin asked.
“You shut up. I ain’t in the mood for your jokes. Now move before anyone else sees you.”
“You’re always in the mood for me, Ray,” Gin said with a smile.
Justin sat with his mouth open for a moment. “I don’t….”
“We can talk in the truck,” Ray said. “Now c’mon.”
Charlie opened the back door and hopped out. He went up to Ray and gave him a fierce hug, wrapping his arms around the thick waist.
Ray’s expression immediately softened, a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes. “This one’s my favorite out of all of you. You gotta keep a tighter leash on these two, Charlie. If only your brother had your brains and your sister knew how to keep her mouth shut. You work on that for me.” Charlie nodded into his belly enthusiastically, Ray patting him on the back.
Even the usually quick-witted Gin only gave Ray a smirk as she got out of the car. They piled into the truck, Justin and Charlie in the back, Gin and Ray up front with Ray driving. He started up the engine. It gave off quite a racket in the enclosed garage, but he didn’t go anywhere.
Time for Justin to explain, then. He took a deep breath. “Ray—”
“Whoa now,” Ray said, holding up his hand. “I don’t want you sayin’ too much. There ain’t no need. I got a call from the boss man this morning sayin’ you’d be out for a while.”
“Boss man?” Justin asked.
“Yeah, that’s right,” Ray said. “He’s an old friend of yours. Bought the place sometime after Gin started working here, then put me in charge. You didn’t think this was my operation, did you?”
Justin felt stupid for not putting two and two together. That’s how he’d gotten the job there, then. “Did you know about this?” he asked Gin. “Why didn’t Griz say anything?”
Gin shrugged. “The old man was asleep when I got Charlie.”
“No, not just today,” Justin insisted. “Ever. He never said anything, ever.”
“One thing you two oughta have down by now: sometimes saying less is better.” Ray’s tone was scolding. “Isn’t that right, Charlie?”
Charlie nodded with a thumbs-up.
“Damn, but you guys got yourselves mixed up in some shit, though. That old man leaving town was one of the worst things that could’ve happened. Seems he came back at exactly the right time.”
“I’m starting to think that was a lot more than coincidence,” Justin said. “It’s not just him wanting to die at home.”
“Best not to think too deeply about stuff,” Ray warned.
“Tell that to his brain,” said Gin. “I have a feeling Justin doesn’t talk much only because too many thoughts are trying to escape at once. He suffers from mental traffic jams.”
“Surprised he can do much thinking at all with the knockabout he’s had.”
“I thought we weren’t supposed to talk about that,” Justin said sourly. All these attempts at humor were making his head hurt.
“Nah. I said that to you. I can say stuff, especially when it’s as plain as the bloody nose on your face.”
Justin needed this conversation to take a detour. “I’m really sorry about the job.”
“Justin, boy—you deliver condoms, not antibiotics. It’ll be fine.”
“I don’t mean to make more work for you, though.”
Ray shrugged. “Work is work. I put in the same amount of time regardless. It’s just a little less time I’ll be sittin’ on my ass in the office. Bein’ up and moving around’ll be good for me. Maybe I’ll even lo
se a few pounds, make your sister take notice. Hell, if I’d known lifting boxes of rubbers would give you muscles like that, I’d’a switched places with you long ago.”
Gin gave Ray a coy smile. “How long you known about all this, Ray?” Gin asked, tipping her head in Justin’s direction.
“Not long at all, or you better believe I would have tried to talk you out of it.” Ray sighed, his hands on the wheel, still not driving. “Truth is, Gin, you know I been keen on you for a long time. I ain’t got no family of my own, so sometimes in my head, I start thinking of you all as my family. God knows you talk about these two enough. I feel like I know ’em better than I do.” Justin could swear he saw a blush on Ray’s dark cheeks.
“You sure are sweet, Ray.” Gin smiled.
“You all need anything, all you gotta do is ask.” Ray pressed on the gas, and they finally started moving. “Now let’s take you all on home. I can tell none of you got any sleep. You look like the walking dead.”
Gin reached over and put her hand on Ray’s shoulder. “I’ll be comin’ back with you. I’m fine to work.”
Ray looked like he was about to argue, but then he nodded, a smile on his lips.
True exhaustion settled over Justin. He couldn’t possibly keep his eyes open another second. As he drifted off, he thought about how funny it was, the way his mind worked. An hour ago he never would have expected this could go so well.
Sleep overtook him.
Chapter 15
FOR THE first time in five days, Justin’s head didn’t hurt, but he couldn’t imagine feeling shittier. The bruising on his face wasn’t as incriminating as the marks he’d gotten last time, but he wouldn’t be getting out of the truck. Unfortunately this meeting with Scarecrow was for Gin.
She looked so normal sitting in the passenger seat staring out the window. Her face was free of worry lines. Her honey-colored skin was smooth and unmarred, a rarity for someone who got her hands dirty from time to time. Joe hadn’t been her first, not if you counted self-defense.
Mom had taught Gin to shoot at a very young age, and she’d practiced religiously ever since. Any woman walking on the street had at least one gun. Gin never wore hers in the same spot. If he had to guess, from the way her chest was flattened and a little less shapely, today she was carrying in a holster attached at the front of her bra. She liked to call it a bolster.
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