Violet yanked open the fridge door and took out the makings of a salad. She had the return of a headache with all the questions and scenarios that swirled in her mind. Why did everything have to be so difficult?
And while she was on the subject of difficult, what the hell was up with Celine? There was something about her that didn’t add up. She seemed to have an undercurrent of tension or maybe even desperation about her. That, and the obvious fact that she hated Violet’s guts.
She’d met people like Celine before, back when she was working in the Red String restaurant. It had been a pretty good place to work, except for one odious manager. He’d had a roving eye when it came to the waitresses and he acted as if they were part of his own personal smorgasbord. Eventually, Violet felt she had to leave because of him. The restaurant, which had been very swanky, had been on Exhibition Street up towards Parliament. Most of her customers there had been really nice but there’d been a small group, a particular type that Violet could pick a mile away.
They were young professionals with high-powered jobs, a trust fund and something to prove. Violet had nothing against rich people, but this lot were self-absorbed, condescending and treated Violet and the other staff as if they were totally beneath them.
Yeah, Violet knew Celine’s type well enough. It was disappointing that Jason would want to be with someone like that. Not that Violet wanted him back. There were too many years and hurts between them to ever want to revisit their relationship. Seeing him today had cemented that. But still it was sad to think that he would be part of that shallow, money-driven world when he could have been so much more.
‘Hey, Mummy, look, I’m all clean,’ Holly called out from the doorway as she held up her hands for inspection.
‘Well done you,’ said Violet. ‘So do you want to help me make the salad?’
‘Sure thing,’ Holly said and skipped over to the table. ‘Can we put pineapple in it?’
‘Whatever you want, sweetie,’ said Violet. ‘Whatever you want.’
‘You went to Violet’s, didn’t you?’ Mac demanded in an undertone as Jason walked in the kitchen. He didn’t want to disturb the others who were all out in the garden looking at the various places where the ceremony could take place. Jason gave him a dirty look. ‘What, are you my mother?’
‘Just answer the question. I saw that weird look you gave Violet and then you hustled out of here as soon as she left. It was pretty obvious where you were going.’
‘So what? It’s none of your business,’ snapped Jason. ‘What’s between Violet and me was never any of your business. So just back off.’
‘I knew it. Son of a—’
‘Fuck off, Mac. Just leave it.’
‘What are you playing at, you bastard?’ demanded Mac, putting his arm across the doorway.
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about!’ said Jason, trying to push past Mac, who didn’t budge. ‘Look, this isn’t the time to get into this. I’ve got more important things on my mind than Violet and your jealousy. Work’s crazy, money’s tight, the wedding’s coming up. Jesus.’
‘Just tell me. Why did you go to Violet’s?’
Jason let out an exasperated sigh. ‘I just dropped in to see an old friend for a few minutes. Nothing more.’
‘Just leave her the hell alone,’ said Mac, anger rising inside of him despite his attempt to rein it in. There was no use creating even more tension for Violet ahead of the wedding.
‘Why? What’s it to you?’ asked Jason.
‘Everything.’
‘I knew it. I knew you had something for her the moment I walked in the kitchen.’
‘Shut up, Jason. I mean it. Stay away from Violet. You’ve messed with her enough.’
‘Or what? If I want to see—’
‘You made your choice all those years ago, and now you’ve got Celine,’ said Mac, his arms folded across his chest.
Jason was silent as he turned and stalked away.
Chapter 14
Violet had just sunk into the couch and closed her eyes as her phone rang. With a sigh she dug into her jeans pocket and pulled it out. She checked the screen and saw Mac’s name flash up.
‘Hi, Mac.’
‘Hey, Violet. I just wanted to check that everything was alright.’
‘Thanks. All good. I’ve been sitting here thinking that underneath all that bluster of Celine’s there’s fear and anxiety,’ she said, not wanting to mention Jason’s visit.
He was silent for a moment. ‘Well, she’s got no right to take it out on you, whatever it is she feels.’
Relief flooded through Violet. ‘Well, anyway, I feel like the worst is over now.’
‘Would you like me to come over?’
Damn, kissing him had made everything more complicated, thought Violet. ‘I was planning to have an early night.’
‘Okay.’
Even from that single word she sensed his whole tone had changed. She was so confused. One minute she convinced herself that staying away from Mac was the best course of action for her and Holly. But then she couldn’t deny the way he made her feel. The way Mac had kissed her made her quiver with long-forgotten passion. It was as if he was waking her up from a long, cold and lonely sleep. Part of her didn’t want to let go. Her head told her to be sensible, but her heart was a whole other matter.
‘I’m sorry, Mac. I’ll see you tomorrow?’
‘Yeah, have a good night and get some sleep,’ he replied in a lighter tone and Violet smiled in relief. No matter what she decided to do about this growing thing between them, she never wanted to hurt Mac. He was a good friend and she never wanted to jeopardise that.
‘Thanks for understanding.’
‘No worries. Um, Violet, nothing else happened to upset you today did it?’
‘Nothing I couldn’t handle.’
‘Alright then, I’ll see you tomorrow,’ said Mac.
‘Night, Mac, and thanks for checking up on me.’
Violet flicked off her phone and stared unseeing ahead. She was confused and yes, even scared of the feeling Mac stirred within her. For years after Jason broke it off with her and she had Holly, she’d closed herself off from the whole dating/couple’s world and concentrated on being the best mother, sister and party planner there was. It had been simple and uncomplicated. She never let any other man get too close so she’d never had to worry about getting her heart broken and trampled on again.
Was she frightened? You betcha. Terrified was a better word because deep down she was certain she couldn’t survive again the sort of heartache she’d experienced with Jason.
Jason had turned her into a hollowed-out shell of the girl she once was. Whereas Mac, well, he was so gentle and kind and gorgeous and the thought of him tantalised her with ideas of love and a shared future; which were things Violet had decided long ago were not for her anymore.
He made her think dangerous thoughts and he made her body burn.
Damn it! This was all her fault. She should never have kissed him!
Jason walked up the narrow stairs of the cottage and slipped quietly into the loft. Celine was flipping through a bridal magazine by the window and glanced up as he appeared in the doorway.
‘Hey, I’ve been wondering where you’d got to,’ said Celine, smiling. ‘Your mum gave me a lift back. We had a cup of tea and a chat, I think we’re getting on alright together. Which is just as well as I didn’t think she liked me when we first met.’
‘Mum’s always liked you, Celine. I don’t know where you got that other crazy idea from. Um, listen we have to talk,’ he said quietly. ‘I’ve discovered something and I think you should know because it affects both of us.’
‘God, that sounds ominous!’ said Celine, putting the magazine down and staring at Jason. ‘Well, go on, what’s the problem?’
‘I’ve just found out that Violet’s daughter, Holly . . . Well, she’s mine.’
‘What do you mean?’ said Celine, a look of shock and disbelief on her face.
‘Just that. It turns out I’m her father,’ said Jason, looking down at his hands. ‘Violet got pregnant the year after she finished school and I was in my last year at uni. She’d been saving up to come to Melbourne but after I got that clerkship in my final year of law school I just realised it wasn’t going to work. I’d been meaning to break it off with her for months when she told me she was pregnant. I asked her to have an abortion and I thought she had. She cut off all contact after that last time we saw each other, and even when I got in touch with her grandfather’s solicitor to try and get some money to her—after I’d heard she and her younger sister, Lily, had left home—there was still no response.’
‘And what, you’re only deciding to tell me this now?’
‘Like I said, I’ve only just found out,’ said Jason, crossing the room and taking Celine in his arms.
‘Seriously, you expect me to believe that?’ she said, brushing his arms away.
‘It’s the truth, Celine,’ said Jason walking away from her and leaning against the window. ‘I suppose I should have put it together, I mean . . .’
‘What do you mean?’ demanded Celine. ‘So now I bet she’s trying to get money out of you. Well, we aren’t going to let her get away with that.’
‘Oh for fuck’s sake, Celine. Violet’s not after money. She’s not like that,’ said Jason, running a hand through his hair and looking at Celine with frustration. ‘Some people just aren’t that money-hungry.’
‘Don’t you dare lecture me,’ said Celine. ‘You know I do everything to support Dad and the family business.’
‘Sorry,’ said Jason. ‘I’m just shocked I guess, though maybe I just subconsciously blocked out the possibility she’d gone ahead with the pregnancy. I was working my butt off trying to get ahead in the firm, you know what it’s like. All the young mergers and acquisitions lawyers were doing eighteen-hour days. But still, looking back, I could have looked harder for her if I’d really wanted to.’
Celine sat down on the edge of the bed. ‘So if it’s not money, what does she want?’
‘Nothing. That’s it. She doesn’t want a damn thing.’
‘Right . . .’ said Celine, though she sounded like she didn’t really believe it.
‘She doesn’t,’ Jason insisted. ‘And she doesn’t want me to have a relationship with Holly either. She said I made my decision years ago and that’s fine, I’m not obligated in any way. She basically said that it was her who chose to continue with the pregnancy and Holly has got nothing to do with me.’
‘God, Jase, you’re so naive,’ said Celine, her voice taut as she thought about what her father had said. ‘She’s playing you. Of course she wants something! It’s either got to be money or you. Why else would she have agreed to get involved with planning our wedding?’
Jason shook his head. ‘She genuinely doesn’t expect anything from me. I ended it, remember? She told me she was pregnant and I turned her away and asked if she’d have an abortion. No, Violet wouldn’t expect it. She really isn’t that kind of person. She must have been as strong as hell to be able to support Lily and Holly when Holly was only a baby.’
‘Oh my God! You’re still in love with her!’ said Celine, sounding panicky.
‘Don’t be ridiculous, Celine. I haven’t thought about Violet in years. It’s just now, with hindsight, I can see I should have handled the whole thing better, and at least checked she was okay. If I had, I’d have known about Holly.’
‘And you would have married her because it was the honourable thing to do,’ Celine bit back.
‘No, I wouldn’t have. I told you, even before she told me she was pregnant I knew we didn’t have a future together. Still, if I’d known she’d gone ahead and had the baby I’d have helped out and at least seen to it that Holly had everything she needed,’ said Jason.
For the next hour or so they fell into an uncomfortable silence, both caught up in their own thoughts and fears. Jason finally tried to make peace with Celine, who was jittery about the wedding and uneasy about Violet. He could understand her feelings about Violet, given that the news of her daughter had just been sprung on her.
Unfortunately Celine felt very nervous about spending the night in the cottage. She disliked the idea of going outside to the bathroom and had insisted that Jason waited for her near the door with a torch. She screamed when a huntsman spider scuttled its way over the bedroom ceiling and jumped at every sound—from a branch scratching against the kitchen window, to a log popping in the fire, to the possum on the roof. The upshot was that Celine hardly slept at all and neither did he. So when she pleaded that they not stay in the cabin before the wedding he’d reluctantly agreed and promised to ring Mac and ask if they could stay at the main house.
Violet and Sarah sat in the corner booth of the Hummingbird Café. The busy lunchtime crowd had come and gone. Violet had noticed that her presence there with Sarah had drawn a few curious looks, but she was used to people’s curiosity by now.
If gossip was an Olympic sport, she was sure several residents of Violet Falls would take the gold and silver. Hell, probably the bronze as well. No doubt by the end of the day there would be some interesting stories about her circulating the town.
‘Okay, so now we’ve had a nice lunch and most of the logistics of the wedding are out of the way,’ said Sarah, ‘what do you really think of Celine?’
‘She’s exactly the right type of girl for Jason,’ Violet said carefully.
‘That’s what I always liked about you, darling. You were always so sweet.’
‘I’m not sweet. I can be as nasty and mean-spirited as the next person,’ said Violet, adding, ‘Celine is materialistic, difficult, demanding and blunt.’
Sarah sank back against the chair. ‘Unfortunately, you’re right. I’ve tried to get to know her but it’s as if there’s a brick wall in the way. I used to think it was my fault, but I’ve really tried to make her welcome.’
‘Don’t blame yourself. Maybe Celine just needs some more time before she fits in.’
‘Hmmm, perhaps. I’m sorry she’s been so difficult with you.’
‘Ah well, weddings can send some brides a little crazy.’
‘Yes, but Celine has been very demanding.’
‘She has great taste in shoes, you have to give her that,’ said Violet, sipping from her coffee.
‘I suppose she does,’ said Sarah.
‘And I suppose what really matters is that Jason is happy.’
‘Yes, but that’s just it, Violet. Maybe I’m going to turn into the mother-in-law from hell, but I can’t shake the feeling there’s something not quite right.’
‘Like what?’
‘I’m not sure but there doesn’t seem to be a spark between them. They’re meant to be happy and in love but it all seems a bit forced, or at least on Jason’s part anyway. I don’t know. Maybe I’m imagining it. I know he’s always busy at work, and he has all the pressure of being a partner and keeping the big clients coming in. And even though he earns such crazy money, I know his mortgage is enormous. But still, he just doesn’t act like someone who’s desperately in love and totally mad about his fiancée,’ said Sarah.
‘All couples are different,’ said Violet.
‘Maybe,’ Sarah said with a shrug. ‘All I know is that from the time I met Mac’s father, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. I just hope Jason isn’t making a mistake.’
Chapter 15
Violet was tempted to let her imagination wander. It was all too easy for her to imagine what a life with Mac could be like. It was silly and she knew she shouldn’t do it. To give into daydreaming was carving out a chink in the defences she’d created around her. Some say that to dream is to aspire to how you want your life to be. For Violet, it was setting yourself up to be disappointed and fail.
She hadn’t allowed herself to daydream about loving another man in years, not since Holly was born.
She needed to keep her mind from tripping away and heading dow
n the forbidden path which was paved with all her hidden hopes and dreams. How good it felt when Mac had held her, kissed her. How her heart lifted like a balloon when she saw Holly and Mac laughing together. Thinking about what it would be like to wake up next to Mac every morning for the rest of her life.
It was just stupid to let herself be carried away. It was time to face the realities. Like how exactly would Mac respond when he found out Holly was actually Jason’s daughter? How could they move past that? Surely, Holly would be a constant reminder to Mac that Violet had once been in love with his brother. Wouldn’t it hurt him? Wouldn’t that be a blow to his pride?
Yet something deep inside her knew she was selling Mac short. Hadn’t he proved to her he was dependable—someone she could count on, if only she allowed herself to do so? If Mac made up his mind to pursue or promise something, he’d follow through. It was in his DNA, it was just who he was. But still, raising your niece as your daughter, wouldn’t that be too much to ask?
Violet frowned and ran her hand through her hair.
Of course there was another side to this whole damn thing and one that could be even more problematic. Holly was already attached to Mac. Violet hoped that one day she, Mac and Holly could have a life together. But what happened if it all went pear-shaped? What would happen if even after giving it their best shot, they couldn’t make a go of it? There was a very real chance that not only could Violet get her heart broken again but that her daughter would be affected, and that terrified her most of all.
She needed to sit down with him and have a talk. She needed to know exactly how he felt about her, and what he’d think about Holly being in his life. At the moment they appeared to get on well but Violet needed to be sure.
She walked over to the window and looked out at the garden. The sun was beginning to set and cast a pinkish glow over the trees and shrubs. She knew Mac was finding her responses difficult to read. She’d pulled him close and then backed off and that wasn’t fair to him. She had to make up her mind. If there was any chance of building a solid relationship with him, she had to get this stuff all sorted out.
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