“I give a fuck, while I’m gone, you better get on the Internet and figure out homeschooling because she’s not going back there either.”
“Colton, calm down, where are you going?”
“First, I’m going to have a chat with little Ms. Caitie and then I’m going to get the fucking padlock.”
“Caitie?” I knocked on her door and gave her enough time to get decent if she needed before pushing it open.
“Who’s this boy?” She was lying across the bed with one of her gadgets. Kid has way too much damn crap. I don’t know what the hell half of it is, but her mother is always after me about getting her something or the other.
“He’s just a friend daddy.” She was staring back at me wide-eyed and innocent. Uh huh.
“What kind of friend?” I tried not to fold my arms and spread my legs the way I do when I’m dressing down my crew for some shit fuck thing they’d done.
“You know.”
“Have you ever kissed this friend?” She pinked up just like her mother. Dead give away.
“That’s it, you don’t leave this room again for the rest of the night. What’s this boy’s name?”
“Todd.”
“Todd what, and where does he live?”
“Henderson, he lives just around the corner from grandma Lena’s. What’re you going to do daddy?”
“Nothing for you to worry about. So he doesn’t go to your school, you met him in grandma’s neighborhood?”
“He goes to my school. Daddy please don’t embarrass me.”
What the fuck? Now I’m an embarrassment? I knew this shit would happen as soon as some little fuck came sniffing around my daughter; fuck that. I had another thought before I left the room.
“How old is this Todd?”
“He’s…fifteen.”
“Fif…” I closed her door hard and went in search of her mother.
“Did you know this kid she’s dating is fifteen?”
“Of course I know I’ve…”
“You’ve what? You’ve met him before?”
“Well…”
“What the fuck is going on around here, have you people lost your damn minds?”
“Colton, where are you going?”
“First, I’m going to pay old Todd a visit and then I’m going after that padlock. You better get on the ball with that homeschooling deal, because she’ll be thirty before she leaves this fucking house again.”
“Colt, you’re being ridiculous.”
“I’ll deal with your ass when I’m done with him.” She was getting worse every year with her smart ass mouth. I pulled my phone on my way out the door. I’m going to need reinforcements to get my point across. I gave Jared, Zack, Pete and Tommy a call. That should be enough to get the job done. We met in front of my parents’ house to get our shit together. I knew if anything my guys would understand my point, after all they all had daughters of their own now. It was like an epidemic. Once Kat and I took the plunge, the other single men followed suit a couple years later. Now we were all family men and we took this raising daughters shit seriously. We made a pact, because these little fucks today aren’t like we were. They’re bold as fuck, but I find if you put the fear of thunder in their little punk asses, they learn quick.
“He’s fifteen.”
“Our Caitie’s dating an older dude?”
“Yes Jared, the little shit’s fifteen. I’m going to break his fucking neck.”
“You met him yet?”
“Of course I haven’t met the douche bag, but Kat has the little sneak.”
“I’m telling you, these women are sneaky. You gotta keep your eye on them. Especially when they’re having these little meetings. I told you we should bug the shits.”
“We’d have to bug all our houses Zack, you fuck. Look, let’s just go have a chat with this kid. I gotta get home and straighten out my shit. Who knows what else they’ve been up to behind my back.” I’d got the kid’s number from my wife, who at least had the good sense to get the background info on him. He was expecting me, but I don’t know what exactly he was expecting. Yes, I was about to threaten a minor. I give a fuck, this is my little girl we’re talking about here, all bets are off.
He was skateboarding at the end of his driveway when we rode up. At least I think the spike haired little runt was Todd.
He saw us coming and snatched up his board, backing up almost into the hedges around his family’s place.
Good, a nice healthy dose of fear would get him on the right track quick.
We stopped our bikes in a semi circle around him and took off our helmets.
“You Todd?”
“Yes sir.”
“You know who I am?”
“Yes sir. Everybody knows who you are.” Fuck the kid had stars in his eyes.
“You been messing with my daughter Todd?” He took a big gulp and tried to disappear in the hedge.
“No sir, we just…I like her that’s all.”
“You know how old my baby is, kid?”
“Yes sir, but we don’t do anything. I promise.”
“You better not even think about doing shit with my daughter, kid. Now I don’t know what’s been going on, but it stops now. Caitlin’s thirteen, she’s not allowed to date.”
“But sir, we really like each other.” He stepped forward a step, kid had balls.
“Yeah, well come check back in eight years.”
“Sir…”
“Eight years Todd. You go anywhere near her again, me and my boys here will be back and we won’t be so nice next time.” The guys revved it up a bit and he was back to trying to disappear. Fucking kid looked like he’d lost his best friend. We rode off and went about our business. Our job here was done,
The house was like a tomb when I got back and I was getting the cold shoulder, but I didn’t care.
“Kat, come in here I need to talk to you.” She came into our bedroom full of attitude and flounced down on the bed arms folded, feet tapping.
“What did you do to that little boy Colton Lyon?”
“Forget that. Now here’s the thing, I’ve been letting you and your damn kids get away with murder around here but that all ends today.”
“Oh, so now they’re in trouble they’re mine?” I gave her a look that had her piping down.
“Do you know what I caught your sons doing this morning?”
“Which ones?”
“Aiden and Quint. They were trying to pop wheelies on one of my bikes.” She thought that was funny, of course she would, they got that shit from her.
“How were they doing that with the thing off?”
“That’s just it, it wasn’t off.” Her face turned sheet white.
“I see I’ve got your attention; your eleven year old sons were trying to teach their nine year old brother how to break his damn neck.”
“Uh Colt, you’re the one who made them all special bikes.”
“Yes, kid appropriate bikes, not my Lyon Z 999. Where’d they get the keys Kat, and better yet, where’d they get the idea to do that shit?”
“Umm…”
“If I catch your ass doing that shit you’re gonna get it. Now, I’ve been going through this shit fourteen and a half years with your hard headed ass. Now I have to deal with these bad ass kids. Caleb isn’t too bad yet, but I’m afraid the other two already started working on him. And don’t get me started on the baby. She’s going to be the one to do me the fuck in. Always questioning me and shit.” She was back to grinning.
“Oh Colt, she’s just curious that’s all.”
“She’s nosy like her grandmother. Do you know what she said to me?” Now I think of it, my kids really were some bad asses.
“What did she say?”
“She told me she wanted tattoos like yours and mine. When I told her tattoos were for grownups, you know what the little shit said? She told me that’s stupid daddy, paintings and drawings are for kids, not grownups. Then she proceeded to paint herself with that damn p
aint set you got her last year that she’s been using to redecorate a hundred thousand dollar decorating job that you and Elena talked me into. It’s not funny babe, you gotta do something about this mess. They’re out of control.”
“What would you like me to do?”
“I don’t know. I think we should have a family meeting.” She grumbled something under her breath, which I chose to ignore. They all hate my family meetings because it usually meant they were all gonna get it, from her down to the littlest one.
“I’m going down to my man cave, I gotta think.”
I headed down to the basement where I’d been allowed all these years to keep my little spot. It wasn’t too long before I heard footsteps coming down. Fuck, they’d found me already.
“Hi dad.”
“Hi son.” Aiden was the older of the twins by five minutes, but he liked to run shit just like his old man. Though my boys were identical, I could tell them apart easy, it was their demeanors. Aiden was like me, he likes to boss around his younger siblings, while Caitie bosses all of them. She’s a piece of work too, the way she does it. She has my glare and her mom’s sneakiness, a deadly combination if you ask me. Quint is more laid back than his twin. He kinda reminds me of Daniel, he’s a brainy little fuck too. Looks like he’s going to follow in the pothead’s footsteps and go into medicine, while Aiden is all about bikes and the crew. Anything to do with the crew he wants in. Sometimes there’s a tussle between him and his mother when we’re taking long rides as to which one of them gets to be on the back of my bike. My woman always sits on the back of my ride and Aiden ends up riding in the car with Cy or one of his grandparents, but that doesn’t stop him from trying. Like I said, he’s like me. I’m trying to teach all my sons to be men. To stand firm and say what the fuck they want to say regardless. So it was obvious to me he had something on his mind. Now the strange thing about my kids is that they all look like me, except sometimes they look just like their mother, or they’ll do something that is pure Katarina Lyon. Like now, this one is sitting next to me with his mom’s stare.
“Something on your mind son?”
“I was just thinking.”
“About what?”
“Dad?”
“Yeah son?”
“Did you know that some of the kids at school use to tease Caitie?” The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and my gut tightened.
“What do you mean tease, Aiden?”
“You know, like that bullying thing they teach us about at school.”
The fuck? I don’t care who thinks what. Some little fuck mess with my kids, I will kick their ass, boy or girl. Right before I go beat the shit out of their parents for raising fuck stupid assholes. Calm down Colt, you don’t even know the whole story yet and already you’re fucking up people’s kids.
“How do you know this son, you seen it?”
“Kinda, and sometimes she comes home and cry in her room.”
“What do they tease her about?”
“Well, because she’s taller than most of the kids in her grade, and sometimes the popular girls tease her because she dresses like a boy.”
Fuck that hurt. So what my kid likes to wear a Henley and Jeans with Doc Martin’s. What’s wrong with that?
“Is that why she started wearing dresses?”
“I don’t know, I guess.”
“Does your mom know about this?”
“I don’t know, Caitie said not to say anything. That she could handle it herself, but they just kept getting worse. But guess what dad.”
“What?”
“One day, this kid Todd beat up on this douche named Brian, he’s the ring leader and he’s older too. But Todd wiped the floor with him. He got suspended and everything, but he didn’t care because guess what?”
Fuck me. “What?” Please don’t let me like this kid.
“When he came back, he warned everybody not to mess with her or he doesn’t care if they throw him out of school for good, he’ll kick their butts. Now nobody messes with Caitie anymore and Todd walks with her in the halls on breaks and stuff and they sit together at lunch and guess what else dad?”
“What?” I am so fucked.
“He even got his friends on the football team to watch out for Caitie when he was out. He said that since Quint, Caleb and me are her brothers, that we’re under their protection too. So now, no one in the school dare mess with us.” I didn’t say anything for a long time, it’s not everyday I get humbled by a kid.
“Thanks for telling me son.” I waited until he was gone so I could think about my next move. It was obvious what I had to do, but fuck.
I finally went upstairs and knocked on my little princess’s door.
“You got a minute?”
“Hi daddy.” I know she was pissed at me, but my girl was still sweet to her old man.
“Baby, why didn’t you tell me the kids at school were bothering you?”
She started pulling at her comforter and avoiding my eyes.
“Caitie bear?”
“I don’t know daddy. I thought I could take care of it myself. I didn’t want to make a big deal about it…”
“Did any of them ever put their hands on you?”
“No daddy, I promise. I would’ve told you or mom.”
“Okay then, who did you tell?”
“I told the teacher, but she said it was nothing, that they were just playing around.”
“You want to tell daddy what they were saying to you?” I sat on her bed and hugged her shoulder. It fucked with my head that this had been going on and I knew nothing about it. That shit was scary. It reminded me of all those books I used to read when she was first born. All the shows I used to watch about the fucked up shit people were capable of doing to each other. I promised myself back then that I would have the kind of relationship with my kids where they could always come to me. As far as I could tell, a lot of that shit could’ve been avoided if parents were more approachable and kids had more strength of character. Two things I’d thought I’d been on top of, but I was obviously very wrong.
“They called me names, you know…”
“No I don’t know. I wasn’t there and you didn’t tell me.”
She finally caught on to the tone in my voice, and her eyes flew to mine. Just like her mother, as soon as she thinks I’m mad at her about something, she tears up.
“I’m sorry daddy. I just didn’t want to worry you and the teacher said it was nothing.”
“Caitlin, I’m your father. I was your father before you ever set foot in a school. I’ve raised you to trust me but obviously you don’t, because you didn’t come to me with this and that worries me. How am I supposed to trust you? It’s give and take princess. If I know that you will come to me or your mother with any problem you have, then I have no problem giving you more freedom. But if you’re gonna start keeping things from me, then I can’t trust you. Don’t cry. Come ‘ere.”
“I’m sorry daddy, I didn’t mean to make you mad.”
“I’m not mad, just a little hurt that you didn’t think you could trust me.”
“I won’t do it again, I promise.” I looked down at her wishing I could fight all her battles for her, knowing that I couldn’t. That’s what the books can’t teach you, how to feel.
“I can’t punish you for making what you thought was the right decision but I can’t reward you right now either. I came in here to tell you it was okay to see your little friend after I’ve vetted him. And of course there will be some rules to follow. But I’m going to hold off on that for now until you understand why you were wrong not to come to me with this. We talked about this. Remember the kid last summer that hung herself in the closet because of bullying?” She nodded her head in silence.
“She thought she could handle it too. You messed up baby. I know you weren’t thinking along those lines but that’s not what this is about. You’re supposed to come to me with this stuff no matter how big or small. You’re the child. I’m the parent. It
’s my job, my responsibility to keep you safe. I can’t do that if I don’t know what’s going on.” I didn’t wait to hear what she had to say, if anything. That shit hurt, knowing that some little fuck had messed with my girl. Of course, first thing Monday morning it’s going to be the teacher’s ass.
Kat was in our room waiting for me.
“Did you know?”
“No, the boys just told me.”
“Don’t look like that. I’ll handle it.”
“I want to go kick their asses.”
“Way ahead of you babe.”
She sniffled and wiped her face. “Colt, you can’t go after kids.”
“I give a fuck, they old enough to know words hurt, they old enough to take my foot up their ass for fucking with my kid. I’d burn that fuck to the ground if I find out they hit my kid.”
“I don’t think it got that far. Aiden and Quint said that it was just words. But she was in her room crying Colt, and I didn’t even know. Some mother I am.”
“Don’t start that shit. I didn’t know either, and I’ll be fucked if I’m a bad dad. This one was on your daughter she shoulda come to us. Don’t roll your eyes, that’s some Kat Lyon shit right there she didn’t get it from me.” I was trying to ward off the tears I saw gathering in her eyes. I’ve had enough of that shit for one day.
Kat had hired Carol to work with her at her firm after the twins were born because she’d decided that she preferred to stay home with the kids. Anything happens, she takes it personally. Like she’d failed because she was the one who’d stayed home. I keep telling her that’s a shit fuck way to think, but she never listens. She’s going to stress over this news now for the next couple of weeks, which is only going to fuck with my head.
“Daddy.”
Shit, it’s the spawn. That’s all I need to round this shit out.
“Yes Catalina?”
“How come Caitie can have a boyfriend and I can’t?”
What the fuck?
“Say what now?”
She walked over and sat in her mother’s lap, thumb in her mouth.
“You heard me daddy.” Fucking Elena reincarnated, except the other one was still with us. I don’t know how that shit works.
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