Elysium

  Her fingers glided over one thigh and covered the hand gripping my dick. I remembered I still wore khakis and tried not to appear too eager when I wrested them off along with the boxers. She lay down, curling up on her side with her head on the pillow, and gazed up at me with her striking gray eyes.

  It was all the invitation I needed. I stretched over to the nightstand to grab the condom and snap off the lamp. The room’s sole window let in enough dusky moonlight to illuminate her face. She tracked every movement as I unrolled the latex sheath down my shaft. Her trembling knees fell apart, and I positioned myself between them.

  She glanced away from me. “I haven’t…since….”

  “It’s been a while for me, too.” A light kiss punctuated the admission.

  I pressed against her, and she tensed. Her breath hitched in her chest and she bit her lower lip.

  “Do you want me to stop?” I asked, praying she’d give the answer I wanted to hear.

  She shook her head and reached between us to guide me forward. “Keep going.”

  My tip pushed into her. She exhaled, her muscles slackening beneath me. I took time advancing, gradually filling her. She was so tight and so hot, submersing myself inside her gave me the most thrilling sensation I’d felt in a long time. Her slick heat surrounded me, drawing me farther in, and a dizzying rush flooded my head.

  April’s head lolled to the side, her eyes closed. A single tear rolled down to the pillow, but she smiled. I traced the contour of her jaw, silently imploring her to look up at me. When she did, I believed she stared into my soul.

  “You feel incredible,” she whispered.

  Primal, carnal instincts took over. She met every thrust of mine with an equal reaction, her hips bucking up in the rhythm I set. The soft little sighs and moans escaping her lips sounded like the sweetest melody to me, driving me insane with the desire to hear more. In that one moment, we were made for each other, a perfect fit.

  The first twinges of my ecstasy coiled in each limb. I wasn’t ready for our encounter to end, still terrified of waking up from a wonderful dream. Slowing down, I let my head drop and tried to fight back the urge to succumb to our pleasure.

  She caressed the side of my face, the imprint of her fingertips feathery and ethereal. “Drew?”

  I let out a halfhearted chuckle. “I don’t want to come yet.”

  She pulled my head down for a brief kiss. “I do.”

  Her legs tightened around my waist, and she reversed our positions. A cascade of copper hair swept down, forming a shimmering curtain around us as she grinned at me. Bracing herself with both hands, she clenched her knees and started rocking back and forth.

  Eyes closed, lips parted, April rode me hard. She tossed her head back and arched. Her blissful expression while she impaled herself on me affected me more than any lewd fantasy or selfish craving. I may have dealt in fabricated scenarios and altered realities day after day, but she was real.

  My palms skimmed over her sweaty flesh. From her silky thighs to her bouncing breasts, I was compelled to touch her all over, to immerse myself in that tactile, tangible experience. I heard her, tasted her, felt her. All the stimuli blurred together in a sublime haze, making me ready to burst.

  Draping my hands over the tops of her legs, I grazed her clit with one thumb. She seized, and her fingertips dug into me. My grasp on her strengthened, holding her in place, and I rubbed along the sensitive flesh. A series of quick gasps permeated the room with their crescendo.

  One last nudge from me sent her over the edge. April pitched forward, her inner walls spasming around me as the climax overtook her. Fire streaked through my blood, searing across every nerve I had, and I joined her in an explosive release. Hips jerking and thrashing, I erupted inside her, surrendering to the white-hot orgasm. Her tremors synchronized with mine, taking me to another world where only the two of us existed.

  April

  Tick…tick…tick….

  Who still used an analog alarm clock?

  I’d have been lying if I claimed only the constant movement of the second hand kept me awake. When I’d left Bridgeport that afternoon, I hadn’t expected to wind up in the bed of a man I’d known for mere hours. I couldn’t imagine what kind of woman he must have thought I was.

  Which was fair, because I didn’t know what kind of woman I was, either.

  Chaotic thoughts jumbled in my head, like they belonged to so many different people trapped inside one body. I wanted to be the doting, faithful wife, yet I no longer had a husband to be faithful to. Playing the role of the grieving widow for two years had trapped me in that character. Part of me wanted to feel sexy and confident. Had I ever been those things, or was I simply idealizing the past again?

  Tick…tick…tick….

  I wondered about the late hour. So many opportunities for me to get back in the car and drive home had passed, and the possibility continued to loom. Instead, I’d chosen to stay in that strange bed with the blankets pulled up to my chin and clothing scattered around the room. A respectable distance of about a foot stretched between my body and Drew’s. As if that somehow downplayed the fact that we’d had sex.

  Tick…tick….

  Enough moonlight trickled in through the window to let me see the clock on the nightstand. I snuck a peek in that direction. Surprisingly, Drew stared up at the ceiling, also awake. He caught me looking and swiveled his face toward me. “Can’t sleep?”

  I shook my head.

  “Me neither.” He started to say something else, but closed his mouth. Glancing away, he picked at the edge of the sheet, twisting the ivory fabric in his fingers. “I hope you don’t think I do this with every client,” he eventually said. “I assure you, you’re the first one to ever come back here.”

  I smiled in the darkness. “Don’t worry, I wasn’t thinking poorly of you.”

  He turned big puppy-dog eyes back to me and returned the smile. “Good, I’m glad.”

  “And here I was concerned about what you thought of me.”

  His brow furrowed and then returned to its relaxed state. “I knew you were special from the very beginning. That hasn’t changed.”

  From any other guy I might have written it off as a cheap line with ulterior motives, but from him, I believed it. In a way, he did know me, though we’d only met face-to-face that day. While I hadn’t learned all the details of his life, I liked what I’d seen and heard so far.

  Despite a burgeoning fondness for Drew, shreds of guilt lingered over me. I’d made a vow to my husband on our wedding day. Logic told me nothing I’d ever done had broken that vow. I wish I trusted in logic.

  A lengthy silence passed. “I’m sorry.” I sighed. “I know I’m being kind of weird, and I shouldn’t be. I’m simply trying to sort things out.”

  “It’s okay.” He rolled onto his side, tucking one arm beneath his pillow. Beneath the wisps of his mussed blond hair, his chocolate-brown eyes shone in the wan moonlight. “Today was full of surprises for both of us.”

  “Yeah.” I reached across the gap I’d created and trailed my fingertips over the back of his hand. “I guess I forgot what it’s like to really be with someone.”

  He averted his gaze again. “I don’t think I ever knew….”

  I curled my fingers around his. Another thing I hadn’t remembered until then was the comforting weight of someone else on the mattress, to not be alone in a bed. Pushing aside any reservations, I inched nearer to him. “You can’t tell me I’m your first,” I joked, trying to lighten the mood. “Based on all we did, I refuse to believe you haven’t been with other women before.”

  “True. But nothing too serious.” Drew shifted onto his back. He circled an arm around me, pulling me close, and I nestled into his shoulder. “I’ve had a few relationships here and there, but truth be told, I was probably too involved with conducting research and then starting Elysium to be a very good partner.”

  His bare skin warmed me, and the steady rise and fall of his chest lulled me int
o tranquility. “Well, at least you had a pretty solid reason,” I murmured.

  “Perhaps.” He stroked my hair, running his fingers up and down its length. “It’s not so bad. I’ll admit I often feel like I’m on the outside looking in when people come to me with their stories of how much they’ve lost. But even amidst the heartache, I can see all the love they have. It gives me enough hope to keep me going.”

  I pressed against his side and closed my eyes. “I wish I could be more like you.”

  His hand stopped moving. “You don’t want to be like me.”

  “You believe in what you do, and you can still find the bright spots.” I wanted to convince him I believed in him. “The faith I’ve tried to find in those slivers of hope hasn’t been as strong as yours.”

  “It’s not as easy as I make it sound.” Drew’s grasp on me tightened and he rested his chin on top of my head. “As much as I love Elysium, some days I consider giving it up before it destroys me.” I almost missed his next muffled words. “I needed you today more than you needed me.”

  We deserved a little bit of happiness in our lives, even if it was only for one night. I tilted back to see him better. Brushing the hair away from his eyes, I grazed the side of his face, caressing his jaw. He unlocked something in me, kindled flames I thought had gone dormant. I’d gotten a taste of what I’d been denying myself and I wanted more.

  Our lips met in a tender kiss. When I opened my mouth for him, his tongue probed mine with gentle pulses. We breathed together at an identical, luxurious tempo. Where our first kiss had been sudden and frantic, time froze for us to enjoy the simple experience of each other.

  Drew rolled onto his side, facing me. The sweet velvet of his lips never left me as his hand traveled up my spine. My breasts flattened against his chest and I curved into his stomach, creating a long line of unbroken contact. Heat rose between us, heightening the longing of our kiss.

  His swelling erection pressed into me and he pulled away. “Unless Janie stashed the whole box of condoms in your bag, we’d better slow down.” He offered me a sheepish grin.

  I didn’t want to slow down. I wanted to feel that magic again. “No, but I have some other ideas.” Propping myself up on one elbow, I nudged his shoulder until he lay flat on his back. I delivered a swift kiss to his full lips, yet I chose not to linger there for very long.

  I licked a path down his neck, dragging my teeth across his skin. Downy hair sprinkled across his chest and I ran my fingers through the golden tufts. Firm planes and sinewy muscle defined his lean physique. Determination inspired me to examine every inch, every angle.

  Roaming both hands over his sides, I peppered his pecs with feathery kisses. He was like a museum exhibit, a piece of fine artwork, and I played the curious spectator to study him in detail and show appreciation. My tongue darted out to flick across his nipple and he sucked in a sharp breath.

  I teased the flat disc a little more before continuing onward. Working down his body, I flung the blankets back to grant uninhibited access. Skimming my breasts over him, I marked a trail down the center of his torso. With both my fingers and lips, I traced every contour of delicious definition in his abs.

  Drew stirred beneath me and a low groan rumbled in his chest. Lower and lower I ventured, arriving at the ultimate destination at long last. His thick, engorged cock begged for attention. I hadn’t done this in quite some time, but only one way to get back in action, right?

  I started at the base and used the tip of my tongue to paint a line along his entire length. He groaned again, louder than before. I laved the bulbous head with broad strokes, swirling in wide spirals. His fingers knotted the sheets and his lashes fluttered.

  I paused in the ministrations. He was ready for me, yet I wanted to see his hunger. Not only did I need to know how badly he craved that intimate touch, how much he coveted me, but I sought satisfaction for more personal wishes, reassurance that I was desirable.

  He opened his eyes when I whispered his name. Sweeping my hair over one shoulder, I turned back to his bulging cock. He watched me ease the tip into my mouth and a gasp left his parted lips. With our gazes locked together, I took more and more of him inside.

  I swallowed as much of him as I could and then withdrew. The satin shaft rubbed against my tongue, back and forth, up and down. Drew’s hand found my hair and glided over it, but he didn’t try to steer or control my movements. He trusted me to take care of him.

  Lust darkened his stare as I devoured his cock. I sucked out the first few salty beads, and a jolt shot through his narrow hips. Never relenting the motions of my mouth, I slipped a hand between his tensed thighs to fondle his balls. They were warm and heavy, and I massaged them with the mildest pressure.

  “Oh…oh, April….” Drew wrenched his head to the side, panting for air. My other hand wrapped around the base of his steely shaft and gave it a firm squeeze. His muscles trembled below me and his fist clenched in my hair. Bobbing my head, I lapped, pumping with my fingers…anything and everything to give him that heavenly climax.

  His orgasm burst inside me, flooding my mouth with streams of sizzling cum. I drank it all down, and his release warmed both throat and spirit. I didn’t stop manipulating his cock until I was positive I’d coaxed out the last drop and he stopped convulsing. When I glanced up to see his reaction, his affectionate gaze bathed me in its glow.

  I slid back up his body, pulling the covers with me. He resumed his soft petting of my hair, and I leaned on his chest. My eyelids drooped as I listened to the perpetual rhythm of his beating heart.

  Only when I opened my eyes and found the moonbeams replaced by the golden gray haze of dawn did I realize I’d fallen asleep. The hands of the clock indicated 6:45. The cocoon of blankets tempted me to burrow back inside, but I should have been back in Bridgeport many hours earlier.

  Though I tried to climb out of the bed without making any noise, Drew awoke with me. I circled the room, collecting clothes and shrugging back into them. He slipped on his undershirt and khakis.

  The time for farewells had come. I needed to go home and start piecing my life back together. It seemed neither of us knew what to say, so I picked up my purse and slung it over a shoulder. “I guess I should get going.”

  He nodded. We shuffled down the hallway together, lost in a fog of drowsiness and uncertainty. Once we reached the lobby, he stopped walking. “Wait, I forgot something.” He disappeared through another door.

  I stood in front of the empty chairs, kicking at the tile floor with one sneaker. When Drew came back, he carried a large cardboard box with Patterson printed on the side in black marker. “A compilation of everything you sent me is in here. Do you want it back?”

  I thought of all the photographs, the notes, the video clips, the birthday cards. Despite all that had happened since the previous day, I wasn’t ready to give them up. “Yes, please.”

  I held the front door open for him and we headed to the parking lot. After fishing out the keys, I popped the trunk and he set the box inside. I slammed the lid and leaned against it, turning the key chain over and over. “Um….” I started, trying to decide on words that were appropriate and genuine. I opted for simplicity. “Thank you,” I said. “For…I mean…thanks.”

  Drew gave me a quick hug, which I accepted. “Be well, April,” he whispered when he pulled back. “I mean that.”

  I knew he did. I opened the door and climbed behind the wheel, turning the key in the ignition. He stepped out of the way while I maneuvered the car in the small lot so I could drive straight out onto the road. Rolling down the window, I waved one last time before I took off.

  I left the radio off on the journey through the quiet side streets to the highway. Elysium was a surreal realm of many surprises, some upsetting, some astonishing. In a way, I’d found exactly what I’d been searching for. As I made my departure, however, I wondered what I’d left behind.

  Chapter Four

  Drew

  The time spent with April gave
me a hint of the world outside Elysium and all that had been absent from daily routines. If I devoted my entire life to the business of death, those two forces would cancel each other out and I’d be left with nothing. I had no plans to abandon the company, but I needed to institute some changes.

  First, I scheduled time for myself. No matter how engrossing the project or how close I was to completion, I tore myself away from the computer and left the building no later than seven o’clock in the evening. Although I now associated that bed in the back room with fond memories, I established a rule of no more overnights.

  To keep with the idea of setting realistic goals, I attempted to go out for a run at least four days a week. Some days I ran in the morning, others I waited until I got home, and every now and then I had to squeeze in a jog during a lunch break. The effort was worth it, though. I loved the breeze whipping over my skin, the adrenaline coursing through muscles as my pulse pounded in my ears, and the sweaty sense of satisfaction from pushing myself an extra mile. Running let me feel aware and alive, almost as much as that one night I spent with her.

  The next step: escape the rut of keeping to myself. I enjoyed getting away from the apartment and meeting up for drinks with old friends a couple times a month or so. Even when the others vented about their jobs, I tended not to discuss work too often, but it was nice to sit and listen and interact with other people.

  Thanks to some well-intentioned friends, I even went out on a few dates with women they knew. They were all pleasant enough and made me grateful for another diversion from work. None of them made a lasting impression on me, and I didn’t see any of them a second time. I believed I kept an open mind, as I craved some romance in my life. I anticipated feeling that same electricity I felt with April, that spark of a connection. It may not have seemed fair, but somewhere in my subconscious, I compared everyone I met to her.