“You’re talking to a fucking psychic,” he said.
“Did you…”
“No,” Gormer said. “Trickier getting into people’s heads than you think. But I do pick stuff up. More now, since this damn tea. It’s not so nice.”
“The more discipline you acquire the easier that will be,” Astrid said.
“Oh, that’s nice, wise one,” Gormer said. “Cheers and go fuck yourself.” He walked away to a second smokeless fire pit where some bandits were preparing food for the early risers.
Astrid laughed and shook her head. “Keep trying,” she called after him. “The dying tiger roars loudest.”
He flipped her off without looking back.
“You take that mouth from him?” George asked.
“Nothing but a little boy lashing out in pain,” she said. “Seen it a thousand times.”
“He needs his ass kicked,” George growled. “Talking to you that way…”
“I can handle myself, thanks,” Astrid said with a smile.
“I mean… I just…” George stammered.
“Where’s Woody?” Astrid inquired.
George turned away gratefully, and they headed over to Woody, who was just getting out of his hammock.
“Hungry,” he rumbled as he rubbed his face. He emptied some water from a skin into a bowl and carried it over to the long table. Astrid and George followed. “God damn it,” Woody growled. “Am I a fucking mother duck or what? Let me fucking wake up!”
“Sorry,” Astrid said. “I want to head to the caves to meet this… Gerty?”
“Gertrude,” Woody said. “Call her Gertrude. If you act too familiar, she’ll shut you right down.”
“We’ll ride out right after we eat,” Astrid said.
He shook his head. “Fuck that. We eat while we ride. I have a feeling she might need some convincing to pack everyone up and go.”
They got two fresh horses from the stables and geared up for a hard ride to the highlands. Astrid found Gormer before she left.
She told him, “You’re going on recon tonight. I need you to be ready.” She placed her hand on his shoulder and moved in close. “I need information. Without it, people are going to die. Not just fighters, but defenseless people. Do you understand?”
The defiance and anger left his face for just a moment. He nodded. Astrid turned away and got on her horse.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Gerty the Grinder at the Caves
The ride through the mountains was as hard on the horses as it was on Astrid. They picked their way over steep, rocky inclines and crossed a low range before they reached anything strongly resembling a trail.
“You are well-hidden up here,” Astrid observed as they neared some jagged peaks.
It appeared that the signs of passage weren’t as well hidden there. She had to look hard to find broken branches and footprints before this point.
The path rose up to a low ridge that was reasonably flat as it lead them to a rock face partially obscured by trees. Bandits came out to meet them with axes and crude maces over their shoulders. Some of them carried bows. All of them had hard eyes.
“What’s this about you wanting us to run away, Woody?” the oldest, largest of the bandits said.
“Shit,” Woody muttered. “It’s starting already.”
“But who is this fine slab of woman?” the man asked with a big smile that was short a few teeth.
“My name is Astrid,” she said with an easy smile. “Who might you be?”
“Might be someone who wishes he was younger,” the man boomed.
The other bandits boomed with laughter, even the women among them. Astrid got off her horse and headed over. She extended her hand for the man to shake.
He squinted at her and shifted his weapon to his left hand. They shook hands and locked eyes for a good long while.
“So, you are the one we heard about,” the man said. “The one who makes Assessors piss themselves—the woman who wants to be the new Protector.”
Astrid registered shock. “I’m just trying to do what’s right.”
“Is it right that you put us in danger by drawing us into your fight?” a high, clear voice rang out.
The bandit man let go of Astrid’s hand and stepped aside. The other bandits made way for a slender old woman in a long, hooded, brown robe that covered her ankles. Her arms were crossed in front and covered by baggy sleeves.
“This has been coming for a while, so far as I can tell,” Astrid answered her firmly. “I just happened to find it.”
The woman shed her hood, revealing silver hair pulled back into a tight, short ponytail. Her face was like a topographical map of the mountains themselves. Her eyes, matching the color of her hair, shone like moonlight on water.
“Now we have to run because of your strategy,” the woman said.
“If you want to live, yes,” Astrid said.
At that, the bandits looked offended. The big man brought his mace back to his fighting hand.
“We can take care of ourselves. We were fine before you came,” Gertrude said.
“You call living in caves ‘fine?’” Astrid asked.
At that moment, the bandits looked ready to fight. Astrid stepped forward. “Since I got here, two villages found peace with the woods people. Those who were dispossessed are finding proper homes again.”
Gertrude spat. “How can you be so arrogant? You say this is not a proper home?” Astrid realized her mistake. Her mind reeled trying to recover.
“What I’m saying is that you don’t have to hide anymore. I’m not asking anyone to fight unless they want to fight. I take full responsibility for my actions. The bottom line is that your people are in danger here, and I aim to kill that danger. Kill it dead.”
“Big talk,” the woman said, removing her arms from her sleeves. “Why should I believe you?”
Astrid saw the outline of some weapon beneath the woman’s robe. She knew what was coming.
“Try me, old woman,” Astrid said, giving Gertrude the perfect opportunity.
Astrid didn’t want to smile as her perception of time slowed. Gertrude moved even faster than expected. Astrid was already spinning when the hatchet came out. The rope dart whipped out as Astrid closed the gap.
Clang! said the dart as it struck the hatchet meant for Astrid’s forehead. She stopped her spin and let the rope wrap around her waist again. She held a section by her side, ready to strike out again.
“I was wondering why you tied yourself up in that rope,” Gertrude said with a tight smile. “Thought maybe you were trying to hide a gut or something.”
The bandits laughed uneasily. “I didn’t see where your hatchet went,” Astrid said. “I was more concerned about you trying to kill me again.”
Gertrude smiled harder. “Come,” she said. “It went into the woods. You can help me find it.”
“Only if Woody comes along to stand between us,” Astrid said.
“Smart girl,” Gertrude replied.
The three formed a group and headed into the trees. The rest of the bandits were already laughing and making a legend out of what they just saw.
Astrid saw exactly where the hatchet flew and both she and Gertrude knew it. The old woman parted her robe and slipped the little axe in a loop of leather around her belt.
“You are a troublemaker,” Gertrude said. “The caves are home to our old and our young and those who need to be cared for. We’re not fighters.”
“Not fighters? Could have fooled me,” Astrid said.
“Don’t flatter me, girl,” Gertrude growled. “You’ve already made your point.”
Astrid was humbled again. “I didn’t—”
“No matter,” Gertrude said. “I’m convinced. We will go along. But know that I’m trusting you not because I want to, but because I have to.”
Astrid hung her head. “For that, I am truly sorry.”
“I know,” Gertrude said. “I can see that. So, promise me you know what you are doing, and I will
feel better.”
Astrid locked eyes with the old woman. “I will not fail you, or Woody, or the villages, or anyone I pledge to protect.”
“You better not,” Gertrude said. As she walked away, she called back. “I’ll do what is necessary. You better head back south. Take care of my grandson. He’s a good man, and I don’t want to lose him.”
Woody stood blinking back tears. “Did you hear what she said about me?” He seemed to be six inches taller.
“She happens to be right,” Astrid said as they headed back to the horses.
The bandits had already slipped away, back to wherever their caves were. It was obvious that Gertrude didn’t want Astrid to know. She knew the general location. That seemed to be too much.
Keep 52, later that afternoon
Clarence and Jank stood over the long table studying the mosaic of map pages compiled from meticulous recon missions.
“My two men were killed here,” Jank said, pointing to the trail where the bodies were found. “They were smart enough to take the map, so we can assume they know we are looking for something.”
“The question is, whether they’ve figured out we’re looking to take out the bandit’s home, or their base of operations,” Clarence said, pinching his chin.
“It’s unclear. We’ve chased some bandits who seem like scouts. They’re always on foot, but they somehow get away,” Jank replied.
“That almost seems like it’s intended,” Clarence replied. “It was all-too-clear that your dead men didn’t see it coming. That leads me to believe that they are far better at hiding than we thought.”
“We have underestimated the enemy, haven’t we?” Jank said, locking eyes with Clarence.
“I hate to admit it, but yes,” Clarence said. “That is why I’m going on the raid to find the bandit stronghold,” Clarence replied.
Just then, the latest scout team appeared with another addition to the map.
The men stood in rigid postures and addressed Jank and Clarence formally. “Sirs, we have a lead. We followed the trails past where our men were killed the other night. We did find evidence of horses.”
“Shit?” Clarence said. The man looked surprised. Clarence glared at him. “Did you find horse shit?” Clarence clarified, putting emphasis on every word.
The man cleared his throat. “No, sir. We found hoofprints on a back trail. It seemed like they covered their tracks.”
“We know they stop to pick up horse shit,” Jank said. “They leave no traces.”
“That’s what bothers me. They leave no traces, but suddenly, when we need to find traces, there they are,” Clarence said.
“So, how do we know if the signs are real or a false clue?” Jank asked.
“If I may, sir, it seemed like a legitimate mistake. We had to look hard for more tracks further up the trail. It appears that they leave a major trail across the backwoods at random. There is a whole system of trails that aren’t even connected to the main arteries.”
“Clever,” Jank said.
“They’ve been doing this for generations,” Clarence said. “It’s been going on too long, and I mean to stop it. That’s our goal here. When we exterminate this vermin, we’ll go after every other bandit camp we can find. We’ll do it quietly and swiftly.”
The two men nodded their heads and smiled. “I can’t wait,” the first one said. The second agreed heartily.
“Good men,” Jank said. “They’ll never know what hit them.”
“I hope their women are pretty,” the second merc said as he left the room.
“What did he say?” Clarence demanded.
“Sometimes, the men—” Jank began.
“He stays behind. This is a mission of extermination, not a brothel tour. I didn’t think your men lacked discipline.”
“They don’t,” Jank said. “I will see that he is corrected. Discipline is harsh and certain in my ranks, I assure you.”
“Have him report to me after he is disciplined along with any other men who share his… predilections. I will have words with them,” Clarence said, adjusting his black leather gloves. He flexed his fingers and the leather creaked ominously.
“I’ll send them to you in proper condition,” Jank said.
Back at Argan, Evening
“Why does it feel like you’re asking for a last meal?” Astrid asked Gormer as they rode the wide trail to Argan side by side.
“Maybe I am,” Gormer said. “I wanted to see Charlie again, if you gotta know.”
She smiled. “I don’t have to know, but I’m glad you shared that with me.”
“Shared that… Don’t get all fucking soppy on me. I didn’t think you were the type,” Gormer said.
She shook her head and rode faster up the trail, leaving him behind with his snark. She saw through it now. She knew there was no going back for Gormer. She wasn’t about to reward his lashing out with attention. She left him with his waning residual adolescence.
The ground began to shake as soon as Gormer got off his horse. Charlie barreled toward them and Astrid got out of the way. He scooped up Gormer in his arms and spun around in circles making one of his enchanting, wordless songs.
Gormer slapped him on the back and laughed. Astrid nearly dropped back on her heels at the sound. The flashes of happiness on his face she had never seen before.
“OK, OK, you can put me down now!” he shouted as he had trouble breathing. Charlie just let him go, and Gormer ended up on his ass in the dirt. “Aaand, he dropped me…”
Charlie laughed and picked Gormer up by the armpits, then nearly knocked him down again trying to dust him off.
Gormer swatted at his hands and laughed harder. “I get it. I’m glad to see you, too. Slow down! I can’t process all those images at once. You love it here. I can see that. Ooh, where is Moxy?”
“What?” Astrid said.
“He says that he’s happy I’m better, and Moxy and Vinnie made some medicine for me. He said something about the burning water…”
“The pepper spray,” Astrid said. She started walking toward the Scribe’s workshop.
“No way. Fuck that. I’m not going near that shit again,” Gormer said.
“I’ll tell him no more tests on you,” Astrid said with unrestrained laughter.
“That shit’s funny to you?” Gormer said with unconvincing anger. He whirled to Charlie. “You think it’s funny, too? You saw the whole thing, didn’t you!” He paused for a moment. “OK, so I was mean to the fat guy. You think I had it coming? Come here!”
Gormer pretended to go after Charlie, who stooped down, reached out his hand, and palmed Gormer’s forehead. Gormer pretended to fight, swinging his arms around below Charlie’s arm.
“Ah, boys,” Astrid said, walking on. “Join us when you’re done.”
The one-sided argument went on for a while. Apparently, Charlie had a wicked sense of humor.
Moxy stood outside the shop, wearing a thick burlap cloth that covered everything but her head.
Astrid cocked her head at the sight. “What the hell…”
“You’re just in time!” Vinnie said, coming out of the shop with that leather bulb in his hand.
“Oh, no,” Astrid said.
Vinnie squirted a syrupy, red fluid in Moxy’s face. She sniffed at it, then rubbed it around on her cheeks, then opened her eyes. She licked some it from her fingers.
“Delicious!” she said. “This will definitely take a normal person right out of the game.”
“What the fuck…” Astrid repeated.
“She’s immune to this stuff,” Vinnie said.
“It’s yummy!” she exclaimed.
“So, she’s your test subject?” Astrid said. Even at fifteen feet away, her eyes itched.
“How are you able to tolerate this stuff?” Astrid said.
“I’m not. That is, until now. I could only work around it for a short time. That’s why it’s taken me so long. I’ve been working at this almost exclusively for days.”
“Sure,” Astrid replied.
“Well, I can make an elixir that will make you normies immune to this pepper stuff for a short time,” Moxy declared.
“Oh, that is fucking brilliant!” Astrid said.
“Yes,” Vinnie said. “I’ll tell you what is also brilliant. I have three forms of this stuff. A sticky liquid, a spray, and a mist.”
“OK, Mr. Modest,” Astrid said. “But I don’t know what that means.”
“If we can lure Jank’s men into the cave, I can set off a mist bomb of this stuff. I can use the super sticky version to hose them down outside. We can use the loose stuff to hit them from a distance.”
“How much of this stuff do you have?” Astrid asked.
“Fifty gallons of each,” Vinnie replied. “Roughly.”
Astrid put her fists to hips and leaned back and laughed. “Holy fucking shit. Yeah, that is brilliant.”
“There is only one problem,” he said.
“Here we go…” Astrid groaned.
“I’ve not yet found a way to deliver it,” Vinnie said.
Moxy took off her apron and tossed it on the ground. She went over to the trough where she washed herself off.
“Any ideas?” Astrid prodded. “We need some kind of edge. Baiting them to go for the caves is risky. We don’t know whether they’ll send all their men up there or if they’ll split the forces.”
“That’s what you need me for,” Gormer said, walking up with Charlie behind him.
The giant suddenly sneezed and backpedaled, shaking his head. He made disapproving noises.
“Sorry,” Vinnie said, looking past Gormer to Charlie. “I should have warned you. I forgot you had such a sensitive nose.”
Charlie shrugged like he learned from the villagers and grinned.
“He forgives you,” Gormer said.
“You are looking a lot better,” Vinnie said. “You seem taller.”
“Yes, you’re not slouching,” Astrid said.
“Fuck,” Gormer whirled to her and snapped. “What are you, my fucking grandmother?”
“He’s still got some vinegar in him, though,” Vinnie said.
Once again, to everyone’s great surprise, Gormer smiled. “Fuck you both,” he said.
Knight's Creed: Age Of Magic - A Kurtherian Gambit Series (Tales of the Wellspring Knight Book 1) Page 23