“You have your hot tub for tonight,” I reminded her. “You know the rules. We need to check out a new environment before we do anything … supernatural. We don’t want the residents to get spooked because we accidentally put on a power display. I can guarantee that Utah residents won’t welcome paranormal monster hunters with open arms.”
Naida made an exaggerated grimace. “I won’t go swimming until after dark. No one will even see me. I know what I’m doing.”
“You need to wait until tomorrow.”
Naida defiantly crossed her arms over her chest. “And what if I say no?”
I didn’t miss the rumble of thunder – even though the sky was completely clear. I extended a warning finger. “Don’t do that,” I warned. “It’s sunny. People will notice if a thunderstorm pops up in the middle of the day.”
Naida relaxed her stance, if only marginally. “You’re not keeping me out of that lake. Don’t even try it.”
“I have no intention of keeping you out of the lake.” I meant that. “I simply want to make sure it’s safe before letting you loose to swim to your heart’s content. It’s my job to keep you safe. Don’t forget that.”
“I thought that was the head of security’s job. Perhaps I should go to him with my demands. Hey, maybe I’ll even be able to talk him into a swim. There’s nothing safer than swimming with the security studmuffin, right? Maybe we can even do it naked.”
I balked at the overt challenge. “You wait just a second … .”
As if sensing she’d gone a step too far, Naida held up her hands in a placating manner. “I’m sorry. That was mean and uncalled for.”
My cheeks flushed with anger as I worked overtime to tamp down my agitation.
“That was mean. I didn’t mean it.” Naida adopted an apologetic tone. “I see the way you’ve been struggling since you broke up with Kade. I’m not going to pretend to understand how it happened … or why … but that was mean.”
I chewed the inside of my cheek as I tried to control my emotions. “No harm done,” I gritted out. “It doesn’t matter. If you want to go swimming with Kade … .”
“Oh, I would love to go swimming with Kade,” Naida said breathily. “He doesn’t want to swim with me, though. He still wants to swim with you, which is weird, because he’ll only look at you when he thinks no one else is watching. What’s up with that?”
“Does he really look at me when he thinks no one is looking?” The ridiculous question was out of my mouth before I had a chance to think better of it. My maturity level appeared to be sinking to a new level with each passing day.
Naida either didn’t notice my distress or chose to ignore it. She’s mildly oblivious sometimes, so I was fairly certain it was the former. “He stares at you all of the time, and then he seems angry when he realizes he’s doing it,” she replied. “Nixie and I took turns watching him when we were packing to leave yesterday and we considered turning his stares into a drinking game. You know, every time he stares at you we take a drink. Every time he shakes his head after he stares at you we take two drinks. Every time he punches the side of his trailer after staring at you we take five drinks. And so on … .”
I jolted, surprised. “He punches the side of his trailer?”
“To be fair, I’ve only seen him do that once,” Naida said. “It was when he caught sight of you crying while Luke hugged you.”
I stilled, horrified realization washing over me. “You saw that? But … I went behind the trailer. I didn’t cry in front of anyone.” I knew exactly what instance she referring to. I had a brief break with reality a few days ago and couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. Because I refuse to cry in front of others I hid behind my trailer until the sobs subsided. It took almost a full hour.
“I’m sensitive to water,” Naida teased. “You cried enough to fill an ocean.” Upon realizing that her words didn’t have the desired effect and instead of laughing I was frowning, she sobered. “No one saw but Nixie and me. We were cleaning out the storage compartment under our trailer. Your secret is safe.”
“Apparently not,” I muttered, absentmindedly scratching my cheek. “Kade knows I was crying. I didn’t want him to see that. Him most of all.”
“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” Naida asked, her expression serious. “There are a lot of rumors, but the only people who seem to know the truth – you, Kade, Luke and Max – aren’t talking. That makes me believe it’s something serious, because Luke always talks.”
That was true. “Luke hasn’t said anything?”
“He has a huge mouth, but his heart is even bigger,” Naida replied. “He loves you beyond reason. He would never betray you. By the way, he’s worried, too. He watches you as often as Kade does. Those two boys are keeping their distance from one another as well. Is that what the fight was about? Is Kade jealous of Luke? If so, I can set him straight.”
“Kade has no reason to be jealous of Luke,” I answered, letting my eyes drift until they landed on Kade. He stood next to the grill as Dolph, our strongman, worked to get it running. “Luke is gay, for crying out loud.”
“Then what is it?” Naida’s eyes were keen as they locked with mine. “What happened to make you fall apart?”
“I … .” I opened my mouth to answer, the truth on the tip of my tongue. Then I remembered it wasn’t my secret to tell. If Max and Kade wanted their business spread to the other Mystic Caravan workers, they would handle it themselves. I made up my mind on the spot, which was probably a bad idea because being impulsive often backfires on me in spectacular fashion. “I’ll be right back.”
I set off in Kade’s direction with a purpose, my shoulders squared. He appeared lost in thought as I approached, Dolph keeping up a steady stream of conversation as he discussed the best way to grill a steak. I was almost upon the duo when Kade seemingly sensed my presence and jerked his head in my direction.
All of the bravado I’d felt only seconds before fled at the naked emotion on his face. He looked … lost. I did that to him. Well, technically Max and I did it to him. The fact that I shared responsibility for crushing his spirit didn’t make me feel any better. “Can we talk?”
Kade wet his lips as he regarded me. This was the closest we’d been to one another since it happened. I’d tried to talk to him a few times, but he always turned on his heel and stalked in the opposite direction when he saw me coming. The interactions hurt so much I stopped trying to approach him because my heart couldn’t take the pain.
“Is this about the security setup in this location?” Kade asked.
I couldn’t help but be relieved that he didn’t dismiss me outright, but the iciness invading his tone told me that he had no intention of making things easy on me. I couldn’t blame him.
“It’s about … something else.”
“Then we have nothing to discuss.”
I pressed my lips together as tears burned the back of my eyes. I blinked rapidly to hold them off, earning a startled look from Kade when he realized what was happening. He opened his mouth to say something – what that was I’ll never know – but I didn’t give him the chance.
“Okay, well … I’m sorry for bothering you.”
I heard Dolph offer a wan chuckle as I scurried away. “She seems upset. What did you do to her?”
“I didn’t do anything to her,” Kade barked. “Why does everyone think that?”
“Because I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen her cry before,” Dolph replied. “You make her weak.”
He did make me weak. I didn’t bother listening to the rest of the conversation, instead escaping to the relative privacy of my trailer and covering my head with a pillow as I sank to the couch.
I needed to shut out the world.
I needed to forget Kade.
I needed to … stop freaking crying.
What is wrong with me? How did I let this happen?
3
Three
“This looks like a good edge for the eastern boundary.”
As the sun set my thoughts turned from Kade’s angry dismissal to matters of practicality. In truth, Mystic Caravan is more than just a circus. We’re a mishmash of paranormal beings with a few normal humans sprinkled throughout. We work together to draw evil beings to us … and then we eradicate them. Part of that plan involves a magical dreamcatcher. I designed the barrier, which alerts us when a threat is near while simultaneously calling to dark supernatural beings, but I can’t erect it myself.
My lines run bright with Romani blood, even though I know next to nothing about my heritage. I’ve been capable of reading people’s minds – as well as boasting a few other interesting magical abnormalities – since I was a small child. I kept my abilities to myself for a very long time because my parents seemed wary about discussing them. I always thought I would have more time to figure out who I am, my place in this world. I thought they would share more information when I was an adult.
That never happened. They died when I was a teenager and I was placed in the system. The foster child system and I didn’t work out, and we had a parting of ways before my eighteenth birthday. That’s when I learned how to use my abilities to scam other people. I survived by lifting wallets and running a variety of different cons, not enough to get rich but plenty to eke out a sad existence. Then one day, I tried to con the wrong person.
Maxwell “Max” Anderson was walking down Woodward Avenue in Detroit when I tried to lift his wallet. He caught me in the act and I attempted to use my powers to make him believe I was doing something entirely different. Because he’s a mage – and far more powerful than I am – he recognized my attempt for what it was.
Another person in Max’s position might’ve tried to punish me. He might’ve tried to hurt me or use my abilities for his personal gain. Instead, Max bought me lunch, explained about Mystic Caravan Circus and offered me a job. I was leery about his intentions from the beginning – my short tenure on the streets taught me that suspicion was my friend – but I agreed. I had nowhere else to go.
Max started small when building trust. He allowed me to run a game booth, and I thrived when dealing with people. Over the years he gave me more tasks and was always proud when I finished each and every one. He finally promoted me to his second in command. We had a warm relationship – he was more of a second father than a boss – and we grew incredibly tight.
All of that changed when Kade Denton rolled into the middle of my well-oiled circus setting a few weeks before. He was all brash swagger and questions. He said Max was a family friend and visited regularly. That was news to me, because I never knew Max to visit anyone. He never told me about this family in which he took such a personal interest.
At first I was hurt because I thought Max didn’t trust me. Then I realized the secret he kept was much larger than the one I initially envisioned. Max was Kade’s father. I should’ve realized it at first glance – they share many facial features, after all – but I was too confused by my attraction to Kade to figure out what was happening. Once I did, it was already too late.
I like to think of myself as loyal. Max gave me everything. He saved me from a life on the street. I owed him. However I felt about Kade, I knew Max deserved loyalty. That didn’t stop me from giving him an ultimatum, a deadline of sorts – which he missed, of course. He eventually told Kade the truth, though. By then I was so deeply entrenched in my web of lies that I could do nothing but stand by helplessly as Max dismantled Kade’s life … and ultimately my own. Kade walked away and never looked back. Er, well, apparently he looked back when I didn’t realize it. For some reason, that knowledge bolstered me, although I couldn’t figure out why.
“Yeah, this is a good spot,” I said, clearing my throat as I stared at the trees. A high ridge of mountains stared back at me from the west and I couldn’t help but smile at the pretty picture in the sky. “This place feels somehow magical. Can you feel it?”
Luke arched an eyebrow, surprised by the observation. “I like the parcel, but I hardly think the land feels magical. What makes you say that?”
I shrugged, unsure. “I don’t know,” I said after a beat. “It’s as if I can hear a low humming – as if the mountains are singing. The woods on the east side feel dark and the mountains to the west feel light. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Oh, that’s very … silly.” Luke made a face that would’ve been comical under different circumstances. “Mountains don’t sing.”
“Sure they do.” Nellie appeared at my elbow, his yellow summer dress simpler than the ornate frocks he prefers to wear on show nights. He’s a dwarf. No, I’m not kidding. He’s not a Lord of the Rings dwarf (and don’t ever make the mistake of asking him about dragons and treasure). He’s a different sort of fellow – one who prefers evening gowns to jeans – but he’s a valued asset. He loves a good fight and is handy when a supernatural menace sets its sites on us. The dresses never get in the way of him wielding his ax.
Everyone who works for the Mystic Caravan Circus clings to a certain shtick. I tell fortunes and read tarot cards while hunting monsters and murderers. Oh, yeah, we don’t limit our actions to evil monsters. We handle the diabolical humans, too. There are more of them than most people would be comfortable believing. That’s why we don’t draw lines when it comes to levels of evil. We smite all of it.
In addition to serving as backup ringmaster, Luke is also a shifter. He serves as a trained wolf in some of our shows. Mystic Caravan doesn’t utilize real animals. No one knows that, of course, but all of our animals are really shifters in fancy fur. We have a tiger, two bears, a wolf and a lion that occasionally sleeps on the job.
Nelson “Nellie” Adler serves as the bearded lady for our big show, and he has a great time entertaining our guests. He also has great taste in evening gowns. Shoes are another story.
“Mountains sing?” I asked, arching a dubious eyebrow as I focused on Nellie. “How does that work?”
Instead of taking umbrage with my question, Nellie merely shrugged. “How does anything work? All living things are tied together. That mountain is living. It’s breathing. Blood doesn’t pump through its veins, but water and oxygen do. Who’s to say that mountains can’t sing?”
It was a fairly poetic question, one that that didn’t go with Nellie’s often rough and tumble attitude. “I guess you’re right. Let’s move toward the east side and see what Naida and Nixie have come up with for a boundary. As soon as the sun sets I want to drop the dreamcatcher. This is a new area, so I’m not sure what to expect.”
“Is Utah known for a specific paranormal population?” Luke asked, falling into step with me. “Other than sister wives, I mean. Wait … maybe sister wives are their own paranormal population. Maybe they’re a certain branch of witches or something. Wouldn’t that be entertaining?”
I rolled my eyes. “You need to let go of the sister wives thing. I’m guessing that the people living in this area will find that offensive. I know I would if I was in their position.”
“Why?” Luke was unruffled by my tone. “It’s a part of their history. You’ve got bad things in your heritage, too. Most people think the Romani are superstitious thieves. We know that’s not true. You don’t take offense at those stereotypes.”
That wasn’t entirely true. I’d killed more than one evil entity because it attacked my Romani birthright, referred to me as a gypsy or a thief, and then tried to rip my head off so he could drink my magically laced blood. I wasn’t even sure what my heritage entailed – mostly because my mother died before she could tell me – but I knew I didn’t like people casting aspersions on it.
“I think Luke might be on to something,” Nellie offered, swinging his arms as he worked overtime to keep up. He had shorter legs, and I had to remind myself to slow my pace to accommodate him. He would never complain about anything physical, so we had to go out of our way to remember his … um … shortcomings. Crap. That’s a rude way to think about his stature, right?
“What do you think Luke i
s right about?” I asked, slowing so I could focus on Nellie. “You rarely think he’s right.”
“Hey! I take offense to that.” Luke feigned outrage. I knew he was doing it for my benefit – trying to elicit a smile – so I did my best to give him what he wanted. “I am always right. Nellie knows it.”
Nellie snorted, amused. “You’re wrong more than you are right. You’re always funny, though, so I look the other way when you’re being ignorant. As for what he’s right about this time, though, I’m talking about polygamy.”
I wrinkled my nose as I scuffed my foot against the uneven ground. “You think polygamy is a good thing?”
“I think it’s a great thing,” Nellie enthused. “I would love to have twelve wives. They could all service me in different ways.”
I scalded him with a hateful look and shook my head, my long dark hair brushing against my shoulders and making a slight scraping sound due to my vehemence. “That’s a steaming pile of crap,” I snapped. “Women aren’t put here to wait on you!”
“That’s not what polygamy teaches.” Nellie was clearly enjoying himself. He gets a kick out of irritating people, and he’s become quite good at it over the years. “Polygamy teaches us that men rule their kingdoms with an iron fist and women are there to prop up the man.
“I mean, think about it,” he continued. “I could have one wife for laundry, one for cooking, one for … you know.” He waggled his eyebrows for emphasis. “She would be the young one and easily switched out when I need a change of pace. I would never get bored, because when one wife irritated me I could hop to the next.”
“I’m appalled on the behalf of my gender that any one woman would ever show any interest in you, let alone enough to make up a harem.”
Nellie shrugged, unbothered. “I think it’s a great way to go. From your perspective it’s not, of course. You can’t share with others. You like being the alpha female, the one and only, if you will. For me it sounds like a great idea.”
Freaky Hearts Page 3