“Oh, I know exactly what is going on.” Raven’s voice was barely a whisper, yet she managed to hold my attention as if she was screaming to the mountains for the entire circus troupe to hear. “You’re trying to get Kade back. You think I don’t see it, but I do.”
“And how am I doing that?”
“You’re trying to weasel your way back into his life.”
I rolled my eyes as I worked to tamp down my irritation. The last thing I wanted to do was cause a scene. It would only make matters worse, if that was even possible. “Raven, you don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Perhaps you should just let it go because there’s so much confusion floating around. I think that would be best for all concerned.”
“I have no intention of letting it go,” Raven barked, her voice hopping an octave and drawing a few curious stares from the picnic table. Luke owned one of those stares, and I didn’t miss the fact that he said something to Nellie before pushing himself to a standing position. “You had your chance with Kade. You blew it. Now it’s my turn.”
“And how am I standing in your way?”
“You’re moping around,” Raven replied, not missing a beat. “You’re acting as if someone kicked your favorite puppy. You’re doing it to make Kade feel sorry for you. Don’t bother denying it.”
“Is Kade the puppy in that analogy?”
“You know what I’m talking about,” Raven snapped. “I have no idea what went on between you two. I’m dying to know, though. Did he dump you because you’re so bossy? I’ll bet that’s it. Did you try to be his boss in the bedroom, too? Men don’t like that. They prefer being in charge.”
There was no way I would admit that the only thing going on in my bedroom was some heavy petting and sleeping. “Raven, I don’t know what you want.” Frustration bubbled up and threatened to overwhelm me. “I’m not a point on some imaginary triangle that only you can see. You have a straight line. Why not focus on that?”
“Because she doesn’t have a straight line,” Luke answered, smoothly stepping into the space to my right in a show of solidarity. “It’s frustrating for poor Raven, you see. She convinced herself that you were standing in her way when it came to Kade. Then, suddenly, you two were no longer all over each other. She had no idea what happened, but knew she had a limited timeframe, so she had to work fast.
“She’s spent the better part of a week throwing herself at Kade, and it’s gotten her nowhere,” he continued. “She’s tried every trick in the book to seduce him, to get him to her way of thinking. I’m guessing she also tried to paint you as the enemy at every turn and poison Kade’s mind against you to bolster her position.
“Raven isn’t an idiot. She’s not one of the great thinkers of our time, but she’s also not an idiot,” Luke was on a roll now. “She sees the way Kade looks at you and knows it’s only a matter of time before you’re sniffing around one another again. She can’t risk that, because her ego won’t recover from the hit should it come to pass. She can’t control Kade, so she’s trying to control you.”
Raven scalded Luke with a dark look. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I think the problem is that you have no idea what you’re talking about,” Luke challenged. He’d always had something of a tempestuous relationship with Raven. She preferred controlling men by their hormones. Because she couldn’t tempt Luke, he was worth very little to her. “You’re desperate to beat Poet. It’s not even about winning Kade. It’s about beating Poet, because you have to be on top.”
“Oh, shut up.” Raven sneered. “Stop trying to talk as if you’re the smartest guy in the room when you don’t even register on the intelligence meter. Heck, you don’t register on the man meter either. Why are you even involved in this conversation?”
Luke’s eyes flashed, but I lashed out before he had a chance to say something snotty. I balled my hand into a fist and plowed it into Raven’s nose, catching everyone by surprise – including myself – as she tumbled to the ground.
“Omigod!” Raven shrieked as she held her nose, blood gushing between her fingers.
For a moment I felt a rush of regret. I shouldn’t have done it. Things would be worse now. Then Raven opened her mouth, and the only thing I truly regretted was not hitting her harder.
“You’re going to pay for that,” Raven hissed. “I’ll make sure that Kade never looks in your direction again. He’s mine and I’m going to keep him that way.”
“What’s going on here?”
My shoulders stiffened when I recognized Kade’s voice, heat climbing my neck and cheeks as embarrassment flooded through me. My only source of consolation was the fact that Raven looked equally horrified by Kade’s sudden appearance.
“Nothing is going on,” I replied hurriedly, wiping my hands on my cargo pants as I collected myself. “I accidentally bumped into Raven and she fell.”
“You hit me,” Raven snapped. “You didn’t accidentally do anything.”
Kade arched an eyebrow and stared at me a moment, his expression unreadable. Finally he spoke. “You hit her? May I ask why?”
“I … .”
“Raven insulted me and insinuated I wasn’t a man because I’m gay,” Luke answered hurriedly. He was trying to save me further mortification, but I wasn’t sure it was possible. “Poet decked her because she was being … well … Raven.”
“I see.” Kade placed his tongue in his cheek as his gaze bounced between faces. Ultimately he landed on me, which obviously irked Raven to no end because she spared a moment to glare at him. “Is that what happened?”
“Why are you asking her?” Raven challenged. “I’m the one she hit.”
“Because I’m asking Poet,” Kade replied, never tearing his gaze from my face. “Did you hit her because she insulted Luke?”
I opened my mouth to answer. Luke gave me an easy way out, yet I realized this was a test. Kade already knew the answer to the question, so lying wasn’t in my best interest. “Is that why I snapped and hit her? Yes. The argument started over something else, though.”
“What?”
“I … .” I didn’t want to lie, but telling the truth was beyond painful.
“Because of you, you ninny,” Luke snapped. He recognized the situation for what it was, and refused to back down despite the fact that I was working from a point of weakness. “All of this is because of you. You know it. You’re getting off on it. Just for the record, pal, I’ve had it. Suck it up and move on.”
Kade narrowed his eyes as he stared at Luke. Their relationship wasn’t exactly easy before I betrayed Kade and broke his heart. Luke was jealous of the time we spent together and demonstrated it by acting out in unfortunate ways. Still, they made up right before it happened. They were working on a friendship, if only to make things easier for me. That flew out the clown car window when Kade stomped off without a backward glance.
“I don’t believe I asked for your opinion on my personal life,” Kade said, his voice low. “Thank you for your support, though. It means a great deal.”
“Oh, don’t look at me like that.” Luke adopted a whiny tone. “I’ve been supporting you left and right for eight days now. Eight freaking long days. I understand why you’re upset. I get it. I’ve argued that you have a right to your feelings ever since it happened. That doesn’t mean I’m okay with you dragging this out.”
“Wait … you know what happened?” Raven was flustered as she tried to staunch the flow of blood from her nose and focus on Luke at the same time. “Would you like to share with the class?”
“You mean he hasn’t told you?” Luke looked amused at the admission. “Maybe there’s a lesson wrapped up in there somewhere, Raven. He doesn’t trust you enough to confide the deep, dark secret. What do you make of that?”
“Don’t make me come after you,” Raven warned. “I have more important things to deal with. I don’t have time for you.”
“Oh, I’m shaking in my boots,” Lu
ke muttered.
“You’re wearing hideous man sandals,” Raven pointed out. “I said I don’t have time for you. That doesn’t mean I won’t make time.”
Luke swallowed hard, but he never moved his gaze from Raven’s face. Her punishments were often severe, and she enjoyed doling them out. In general, she wasn’t a very good person. She was powerful, though, and she was good at her job. That’s why she remained at the circus even though more than half of the staff couldn’t stand her. “I don’t believe that will be necessary,” he gritted out after a moment’s contemplation. “Just … stay away from Poet. She hasn’t done anything to you.”
“Oh, that’s where we disagree,” Raven said, her voice silky as she flashed a smile at Kade. “Poet knows what line can’t be crossed. If she crosses it, she’ll be sorry.”
Kade blinked rapidly three times, as if deciding how to handle the situation. He sensed the underlying tension, recognized he was at the center of it, and yet seemed lost at how to fix it. “There’s no line,” he said finally. “What happened between Poet and me remains between the two of us. There’s nothing for anyone else to discuss.”
The message was pointed, something Raven clearly didn’t like, because she narrowed her eyes to dangerous slits. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” Kade said, refusing to back down. “This is none of your concern.”
“But … .”
Kade shook his head and focused on me. “Everyone get back to work. It’s been a long day. We were down a few bodies for setup this afternoon because some people decided to go swimming.”
It was a pointed jab. “Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes,” I sneered. “Would you like me to bow when I deliver it to you? I mean … I would hate to put you behind or something.”
Kade’s eyes were dark as they locked with mine. “That sounds delightful. I’ll see you in thirty minutes.”
BY THE END of dinner I had a whopper of a headache. I delivered Kade’s dinner with a bow and a grimace – as I promised – and I could almost see him smiling when he took the plate. Almost. It didn’t quite happen, but I swear he wanted to grin. I took that as a good sign.
I nibbled a slice of chicken and ate all of my potato salad before giving my leftovers to Luke and leaving everyone else to clean up. What? I cooked. They can clean. That seems fair to me.
“Where are you going?” Luke called out, catching me off guard as I shuffled toward my trailer.
“I don’t feel well. I’m going to bed early. We have a lot that needs to be done here tomorrow.”
Kade shifted his eyes to me. “Are you sick?”
“She’s sick in the head,” Raven said, grabbing his arm to direct his attention back to her. “I thought we already covered this.”
Kade made a face as he jerked his arm from Raven, causing me to feel marginally better for a moment. “We definitely covered all of this,” Kade said pointedly. “All of it. That doesn’t stop you from doing … whatever it is you’re doing.”
Raven averted her gaze. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, right.” Kade rolled his eyes until they landed on me. “If you’re sick you should see the medic.” We kept one on hand in case guests sustained an injury. He was a weird guy, though. He kept making jokes about playing doctor. I had no intention of going that route. Besides, my ailment was mental, not physical.
“I’ll be fine. I think I simply got too much sun today.”
“That’s what happens when you loaf about while others do the work,” Raven challenged.
I ignored her. “I’m sure I’ll be fine after a good night’s sleep.”
Kade didn’t look convinced, but merely nodded. “Sleep well.”
“I’ll bring you coffee in the morning,” Luke offered. “I can sleep in there with you if you don’t want to spend the night alone. You need some sleep, and you haven’t been getting any.”
“I’ll be fine. The coffee will definitely be welcome, though.”
I trudged to my trailer, my mind busy even as pain dulled my reasoning skills. It took me two tries to open the door, and instead of changing into comfortable pajamas or washing my face, I tumbled on my bed fully clothed. I was out within seconds, darkness overwhelming me. It was a relief really because the pain was almost unbearable.
I WAS lost in a black dream.
How did I know it was a dream? I always know. I’m always cognizant of what’s real and what’s imagined. For some reason, though, this nightmare felt as if it straddled a very fine line between the two worlds.
I wore a white dress I didn’t recognize. It looked old, as if it was from a different time. The stitches looked small and deliberate, indicating the frock was hand sewn. There was blood on the sleeve and hem. Why I could see these details in the darkness remained a mystery. It had to be a trick of my subconscious mind.
The darkness was so oppressive that I felt smothered, as if I was gasping for breath and finding nothing to sustain me. I opened my mouth as I desperately attempted to suck oxygen into my lungs. The need became dire as I thrashed, my knuckles rapping against the headboard.
I could do nothing, though. I was paralyzed, trapped in a netherworld I couldn’t see or control. That’s when I began to scream … and I couldn’t stop.
“Poet!”
I woke to Kade’s hands on my shoulders. He shook me until consciousness claimed me, beating back the darkness and eradicating the odd dress. I felt sick to my stomach as I rolled to my side, dragging in huge shuddering breaths as tears leaked from my eyes.
“What happened?” Kade’s face was a mask of concern as he brushed my hair from my forehead. “You’re on fire.”
“I … .” What did happen? Was I supposed to know? My mind was jumbled with myriad visions. “How did you get in here? I … why are you here?”
Kade’s eyebrows shot up. That clearly wasn’t the reaction he expected. “I was doing my final walkthrough outside. You were … screaming. I thought you were being attacked.”
“That was real?” I had trouble wrapping my head around the dream as it faded into my subconscious and I became keenly aware of the fact that Kade was sitting on my bed.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Kade rested his hand on my sweaty brow. “You’re really hot.”
“Oh, and I thought you’d stopped noticing.” I had no idea what made me offer the lame flirt, but it earned a short laugh from Kade, which made me feel better. The feeling didn’t last long. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
Kade helped me to my feet and then watched helplessly as I barreled into the bathroom and lost what little I’d eaten for dinner. He kept his wits enough to pull my hair back and secure it with an elastic holder and then simply watched as the dream stalked me into reality.
That’s where the rest of the circus troupe found us sixty seconds later.
7
Seven
“I heard screaming.”
Luke pressed his way into the bathroom, taking a moment to look Kade up and down before kneeling next to me. The bathroom was so small that fitting three bodies inside was something of a stretch. Neither Luke nor Kade would move, though, and I was stuck with my head in the toilet bowl so I was resigned to close quarters.
“I had a weird dream,” I murmured, resting my cheek against the cool porcelain. “I couldn’t breathe.”
“You had enough oxygen in your lungs to scream,” Luke noted. “You frightened me, Poet. I thought you were being attacked.”
“Oh, of course she wasn’t being attacked,” Raven scoffed. “The dreamcatcher would’ve alerted if something evil crossed the boundary. She’s only doing this for attention.” I didn’t miss the dark look she shot in Kade’s direction. “Her little act is clearly working.”
Kade ignored the pointed comment and ran a washcloth under the faucet before pressing it to the back of my neck. “She was on fire when I got here. She was burning up.”
“And you just let yourself in?” Raven chall
enged. “Or perhaps you still have a key. Perhaps … .”
“Shut up, Raven,” Kade barked, shaking his head. “I’m not talking to you right now. If you’re going to make this personal … well … then get out.”
Raven’s mouth dropped open, stunned disbelief flitting through her dangerous eyes. “Did you just tell me to shut up?”
Kade wasn’t in the mood for a childish argument. “Did I stutter?”
“Well, this is just freaking typical.” Raven stomped her foot on the trailer floor before turning on her heel and disappearing from the room. I could hear her muttering as she pushed her way through interested onlookers. “I’ll make all of you pay,” she called out.
“She is a freaking trip, huh?” Nellie looked sympathetic as he moved closer. Instead of his normal evening gown he wore a pink nightie and slippers that looked like monsters. He has weird taste in clothing sometimes. “Can I touch your forehead, kid?”
I mutely nodded as Nellie brushed his knuckles against my skin and frowned. “She’s a little warmer than I would like,” he said after a beat. “A cool bath might do her good.”
“I’m fine,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t need a bath. I just … it was a weird dream.”
“What do you remember?” Luke asked, his eyes lit with concern. “Did you see something coming after you? You’ve been acting strange since right before we left the lake.”
“You noticed that?” I was impressed. I thought I played my part well. “I had this weird feeling that something was watching me from the shoreline. It kind of freaked me out.”
“Did you see anyone?” Kade asked.
I shook my head. “I tried to scan the area. You know how I can do that with my mind.” Kade nodded for me to continue. “I didn’t find anything, but I knew something was there. I don’t know how to explain it. Whatever it was, it scared away the birds.”
Kade arched an eyebrow, surprised. “What do you mean? What birds?”
“Yeah, what birds?” Luke echoed. “I don’t remember seeing a bird all afternoon.”
Freaky Hearts Page 6