“I’m sorry.” The words sounded lame, but I wasn’t sure what else I could say. “I didn’t mean to do that. I was only messing around.”
“Before this happened, that was entertaining,” Kade explained. “I don’t know what to feel. My head keeps screaming that I should be angry with you and not let you back in.”
“I don’t blame you. I’m not sure I would forgive me either … if I were in your shoes, I mean.”
“My heart is putting up a massive fight, Poet.” Kade’s voice was strained. “I have a feeling I know which side is going to win, but I need to think.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying that. I know you’re sorry.” Kade groaned as he got to his feet. “I forgot what it felt like to get a good night’s sleep. I actually feel rested, which is a foreign concept now.”
“Me, too.” I rubbed my neck, only glancing to my left when I realized Kade was unnaturally quiet for a long stretch of time. “What?”
“No one tried to get in. I would’ve woken. Did you have a nightmare?”
“No.”
“That’s good.” Kade shuffled toward the door. “I have a lot to do today. I’ll be in contact with you later. We need to touch base before the circus opens. I wouldn’t be surprised if the cops have undercovers on the fairgrounds tonight, so we should stress to everyone that being on their best behavior benefits the group.”
That hadn’t even occurred to me. “Do you think they’re focusing on us?”
“That’s probably their natural instinct, but I’m worried it won’t matter in the long run,” Kade replied. “We can’t exactly explain about paranormal creatures, can we? They’ll think we’re crazy and try to lock us up.”
“We don’t know that we’re dealing with a paranormal entity. We have absolutely nothing but that weird doll to go on.”
“We have three nights left on the property,” Kade said. “The cops can’t move without proof. They can’t get proof because we’re innocent. I’m sure everything will be fine.”
“That’s a nice way of looking at things. We can’t leave a predator to terrorize the city if we can stop it, though. That’s not what we do.”
“Are you willing to risk your life to save people who look down their noses at you?” Kade challenged.
I tilted my head to the side as I considered the question, ultimately nodding. “They don’t know any better. Ignorance isn’t a reason for vengeance.”
Kade exhaled heavily as his lips twisted. “And that right there is why my heart is fighting so hard to be heard. You’re a good person.”
“Not from your perspective.”
“The problem is that you are a good person from my perspective,” Kade argued. “But you made a whopper of a mistake, and it happened to hurt me most of all.”
“I’m … .”
“If you say you’re sorry I’m going to have a meltdown.”
I bit my lip and took a moment to reflect. “Fine. I’m not sorry.”
“Great.”
“I am regretful, though.”
Kade made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat. “You’ll be the death of me before this is all over. I just know it. I need a shower. We’ll talk again in a few hours.”
I grinned as I hopped to my feet, keeping my body close to his as I skirted around him to head toward the bathroom. I stilled long enough to pat his chest. “There’s room in my shower for two. It might be a tight fit, but … .”
Kade caught my chin with one hand and tapped my nose with the other. “Behave.”
“I think I’m done trying to behave,” I argued. “It wasn’t getting me anywhere.”
“Do you think this will get you anywhere?”
I didn’t have to ask what he meant by “this.” I nodded as my lips curled. “I’m starting to think so.”
“Sadly, so am I.” Kade grabbed my shoulders and kept my body at a safe distance as he pivoted, giving himself an unencumbered path to the door. “I’ll see you at breakfast in a half hour. Try not to be late.”
“I’ll do my best.”
Kade’s smile dipped as I stripped in the open doorway. “I so need a cold shower.”
“Have fun,” I called brightly to his back. “It’s going to be hot in here.”
“Ice cold shower,” Kade corrected. “A long, cold shower. Yup, that’s just what the doctor ordered.”
MY HAIR was still damp when I hit the communal dining area, and I was content to let the sun do its job and serve as a dryer as I fell into place between Nixie and Naida to begin preparing breakfast.
The pixie twins exchanged amused glances as they looked me up and down. I tried to ignore the attention, but it didn’t exactly go as planned.
“What?” I practically exploded after five minutes of giggles.
“You have a little color in your cheeks,” Naida noted.
“And a little spring in your step,” Nixie added. “If I didn’t know better – and I don’t know, so you should realize this is me digging for gossip – I’d guess that you had a lucky night.”
“Oh, mind your own business,” I grumbled, furiously whipping the eggs in a bowl with the whisk.
“Oh, she did have a good night,” Naida sang out, amused. “You must tell us all about it. We live to hear sexy gossip.”
“Who has sexy gossip?” Luke asked, appearing at the edge of the food preparation area. He looked intrigued when Nixie and Naida pointed at me in unison. “Well, well, well. Is it true? Did you and Kade finally add the banana to the fruit salad?”
It took me a moment to get that one – which proved I was still a bit slow on the uptake this morning – and when I did I playfully slapped Luke’s arm and offered him a scowl. “Was that necessary?”
“Oh, I’ve been stocking them up during your depression,” Luke replied, his grin mischievous. “You do look a little lighter, Poet. How does it feel to snag your man?”
Despite my enjoyment of the past ten hours, I couldn’t stop myself from sobering. “Nothing happened.”
“Still?” Luke was outraged. “Does he need me to buy one of those Joy of Sex coloring books? There can be no other explanation. This is freaking painful.”
“What’s painful?” Kade asked, moving behind Luke and curiously glancing between faces. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” I answered hurriedly, my cheeks burning. “I … nothing.”
“Uh-huh.” Kade didn’t look convinced. “Spill, fairies. What are you guys talking about?”
“We assumed that you and Poet had a nice night because she was in such a good mood,” Nixie answered, not missing a beat. “We thought it was odd because she’s been so depressed. It seems the reason for her smile wasn’t what we initially thought, so then the teasing began.”
“I see.” Kade flicked his eyes to me. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make everyone happy this morning. I’ll see if I can work on it when I have more time.”
Nixie obviously missed the sarcasm, because she beamed in Kade’s direction. “That would be great. We have a pool going, and I want to win.”
“Just text me when you have in the pool and I’ll make it happen,” Kade said dryly.
“That’s cheating,” Luke barked, annoyed. “As for the other thing, if you need help rooting for vegetables in the cellar because the carrot has gone limp and cold I’m sure there’s a pharmacy we can jet to. A lot of the people in this area have multiple wives. I’m sure they hand out Viagra by the handfuls.”
Kade stood blankly, taking a moment to register Luke’s dig. When he did, his face contorted as his cheeks flushed with color. “That is not why!”
Luke made a dubious face. “If that’s your story,” he muttered. “Seriously, Poet, he must have a problem. There can be no other explanation for why he hasn’t skinned that particular cat.”
I slapped his arm, the sound echoing through the small area. “That will be enough of that.”
“I wholeheartedly agree,” Kade muttered. “You people need to mi
nd your own business.”
“Poet is my business,” Luke challenged. “We’ve already been over this. In fact … oh, geez. Here comes the middle school squad. Could my morning get any worse?”
I glanced over my shoulder as Luke’s expression darkened, smirking when I saw Melissa approach. She was young and enthusiastic, and because this was only her second venue with the circus she couldn’t rein in her excitement. She drove Luke batty because she demanded so much of my time – time he insisted was earmarked for him.
“Leave her alone,” I warned. “She’s excited. It’s cute.”
“It’s not cute,” Luke grumbled. “It’s freaking annoying.”
I ignored him and focused on Melissa as she approached. She carried a book and looked beyond excited. “You’re up early,” I noted. “You usually sleep in until the last possible second, skip breakfast and then complain until lunch. What’s up?”
Melissa held the book in my direction. “I haven’t been to sleep yet.”
Ah, youth. “Why? Were you out partying?”
“If so, she was doing it wrong, because she was in her trailer all night. I ran two security sweeps and saw her reading in front of the window both times I passed,” Nellie offered, shooting me a pointed look. “Where are the eggs? I’m starving?”
“Give us a minute,” I shot back, annoyed. “You were up reading all night?”
“Researching,” Melissa clarified, tapping the edge of the book. “I went to the library yesterday after the boy showed up. I thought his disappearance and what happened to you was simply too weird to ignore, so I checked out a book on local legends. I figured an area like this – with the mountains and Great Salt Lake – had to boast a rich mythological background.”
“Huh. That was a good idea. I should’ve thought of that. What did you find?” I glanced at the book, frowning at the drawing on the open page. It showed a dark shadow staring out at a large body of water that suspiciously looked like the Great Salt Lake.
“Well, believe it or not, this area has a lot of myths,” Melissa replied. “For example, some dude in the mid-1900s got it in his head to populate the lake with whales. He actually put some in the lake. Some people think all of the whales died because the water was too salty, but others think that they survived and spawned because people saw them.”
“I’m not sure what that has to do with us,” I hedged.
“Maybe nothing,” Melissa conceded. “A lot of locals believe that because no whale carcasses were ever found – that’s the story anyway – that the whales mutated and grew feet and became something else.”
“What?” Kade challenged. “Did they supposedly turn into essence-sucking creatures that steal small boys from their bedrooms in the middle of the night?”
“No, but there are a lot of monster legends regarding the lake,” Melissa answered. “There are dolphin and alligator monsters rumored to attack in the shallows, for example.”
I glanced at Naida. “Wouldn’t you have sensed a monster in the water?”
“A predator certainly,” Naida confirmed. “The truth is that the Great Salt Lake is far too salty for a purely water animal to survive very long. I mean, the majority of them, at least. I’m sure some brine shrimp could survive, but they usually don’t attack and bite people’s necks to suck them dry.
“I had a great time in the water, but I wouldn’t want it to be my main source of hydration,” she continued. “It was fun and buoyant, but it would shrivel most water creatures from the inside.”
“We don’t know if it’s necessarily a water creature,” Melissa pointed out. “There’s also a legend about a ghost named Brother Brehem. Supposedly this ghost belonged to one of the first Mormon settlers, and he died a horrible death – something about his wives turning into a coven of witches and cursing him before killing him – and he’s rumored to go after children in the area.”
“That’s an interesting tidbit, but it doesn’t really solve our problem,” I pointed out. “Ghosts don’t shackle children to bed frames in the woods. You need corporeal form for that.”
“Oh.” Melissa’s face fell. “Well, that’s just one possibility. There are loads of stories to sift through.” She grabbed the book back from me. “I’ll keep at it.”
I watched her go, shaking my head at her rampant energy and enthusiasm. “You do that.”
“Where is my breakfast?” Nellie snapped, drawing my attention back to reality. “Do you want me to die from hunger?”
“I’m considering it,” I replied, glaring. “If you’re so hungry, you can cook your own breakfast.”
“Don’t tempt me,” Nellie warned, shaking a finger. “If you’re not careful, I’ll strike you from my list of potential wives. You’ll be sad if that happens. How many husbands can share formal evening gowns with their wives?”
“I’m guessing that’s a low number.”
“You should revere me,” Nellie suggested. “I’m a catch. You could do much worse.”
I didn’t bother hiding my snort. “Somehow I have my doubts.”
16
Sixteen
After double-checking my tent to make sure everything was ready for the big opening at noon, I did one final pass around the circus before climbing into my sparkly skirt and peasant blouse. Everyone at Mystic Caravan has a role to play, and we all know how to do it in the proper manner. I don’t really mind my costume. It’s comfortable, and the purple skirt in question jingles when I walk. It makes a happy sound, and because the depression had lifted I wanted to wear a happy skirt.
Kade found me twirling in front of my trailer shortly after eleven, mirth flitting across his features as he watched me cavort. I considered stopping when I saw his shadow, but I was in too good of a mood. Instead I spun faster, so, of course, I almost tripped over my beaded shoes.
Kade grabbed my arm to catch me, snapping my body into his and causing us both to flush as I tilted up my chin. Our mouths were inches apart.
“I … um … .”
“If you say you’re sorry I’ll have to shut you up,” Kade warned. He didn’t move to shift his mouth away from mine. He didn’t lean forward either.
“I might like that.” My voice was breathy. “You might, too.”
“That’s what worries me.”
I took another moment to bask in the proximity of his body before taking a purposeful step back. Kade looked reluctant to release me, but ultimately gave in, clenching his hands into fists before stretching his fingers and letting his arms drop to his sides.
“The skirt jingles,” I explained, searching for something to say. “I … was just listening to myself jingle.”
The admission was enough to elicit a smile. “I know it jingles. That’s my favorite of your skirts. The color suits you.”
“That’s why I wore it.”
Kade arched an eyebrow. “Because it suits you?”
“Because you like it.” Being honest is often painful, but it’s also freeing. Now I don’t think about what I have to say, I just open my mouth and let it spill out, like a bubbly teenager meeting her boy band crush after downing a case of energy drinks.
“You’re not making this easy.”
“I’ve decided that I’m not interested in making it easy for you. I want what I want and I’m determined to get it.”
“What do you want?”
“A second chance.”
“Didn’t I already give you that after I found out you were lying about all of the paranormal stuff?” Kade challenged. “This would technically be a third chance, right?”
Crud. He had a point. “I didn’t know you when we hid the paranormal secret,” I pointed out. “That’s not fair. You said you weren’t going to hold that against me.”
“And I don’t. You were protecting the people you love. I get that. We weren’t anything to each other at the time. I don’t blame you for being cautious.”
“Then why bring it up?”
“Because it’s part of a systematic problem,” K
ade answered. “You promised not to lie to me when we worked all of that out. You were already lying to me when you made the promise.”
“No, I wasn’t. I figured out the Max situation after that.”
“You still lied.”
“I did.” I bobbed my head and fought to ignore the burning sensation causing my eyes to mist. “I told Max he had to tell you and then I gave him an ultimatum. I thought it should come from him because … well … he’s your father.”
“Would you have told me if he didn’t?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“I … don’t know,” I admitted, holding my hands palms up. “I would like to think I would’ve been brave enough to do it right away, but I was terrified. I knew how you would react. I knew I was betraying you. The real problem was that the longer it went on the more attached I got. I knew you would walk away. I was selfish because I didn’t want it to happen.”
Kade pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead and shook his head. “The sad thing is that I can almost understand that.”
“It doesn’t change anything, though, does it?”
Kade shrugged. “I don’t know. Can we get through tonight and talk again later? I need to think and we have a lot going on.”
I immediately started nodding. “We have to focus on the big show. I get that. You can have all of the time you need. I’m not trying to pressure you.”
“Really?”
“No, I totally want to pressure you. I don’t know why I said that.”
Kade snickered. “You’re so freaking cute sometimes I can’t stand it.” He tucked a stray strand of hair into the scarf covering my head. “We need to be careful tonight. Remember what I told you about undercover police? My guess is they’ll have at least three teams walking through the area tonight.”
“That means we need to keep our shifters in animal form for the duration,” I mused. “We need to keep someone at both entrances to the animal tent at all times, too, just to be on the safe side. We don’t want any undercover cops walking in there and freaking out because they think we have dangerous animals on the loose.”
Freaky Hearts Page 14