Admit It

by Francesca Penn

  She’d sunk down, slowly letting him stretch her, both moaning as she went. He’d whispered encouragingly, guiding her through riding him the way he liked. She’d loved how deep he’d felt, and it somehow dug up her deep feelings enough for her to share them. She loved when he was inside her, she’d said. She craved him when he’s not around, she’d said. She’d doubted anyone could be a better lover, she’d said. She would miss him so much when he moved to California, she’d said. If she wasn’t in the middle of chasing a big orgasm, she would have probably done them both a favor and jumped in the lake.

  That part, however, was not the part that had her on edge. No, it was the part when Dex cupped her face with something powerful shining in his gray eyes as he told her he’d felt the exact same way right before he’d succumbed to his own release.

  In the week and half since they’d been back, each time their bodies collided, the experience had been intense. Emotional. Raw. It had been unchecked longing and naked lust and Cayla wasn’t ready. Dex insisted she tag along to a network party meet and greet in California. Apparently, money conservation is a moot point for the reason not to go anywhere when you are talking to a multi-millionaire. She was torn into two people. The person she was wanted time to think and the person she was becoming wants to cling on to Dex and never let go.

  Only time would tell which one would win.

  Dex checked himself out in the full-length mirror and smiled. He cleaned up quite nicely. His custom tux fit with a James Bond precision that he was loving. All he needed was for his extra quiet date to appear. Cayla had been reserved the whole trip. Granted, it was only day two of seven in California, but they’d only spent two and a half days in Austin with far more interaction.

  Dex didn’t tell her, but he had an itinerary of his own that would begin after the party. His goal was to get her to love it. He wanted her there with him and planned to spend the week showing her just that. He had plans to take her to the San Diego Zoo, Disneyland, LEGOLAND, Knott’s Berry Farm, and shopping on Rodeo Drive. Excitement for the possibilities pinged in his body.

  He didn’t know if it was Izzie or some of the meetings that kept Cayla at bay or something deeper. She was unsarcastically emotional in Austin. He enjoyed her softer side, but now she was somewhere between the candid and frigid versions of herself.

  Dex had a bad feeling in his gut. He knew something would go wrong but had no knowledge how to stop it. He silently prayed his gut was wrong this time. He’d booked a room at the same hotel of the event to save time and travel. Cayla opted to have the salon on the premises to do her hair and make-up. She emerged from the restroom looking flawless although he didn’t think she needed professional help. Her soft hair was swept up in a partial up-do with a few curls hanging to her shoulders. Her makeup remained soft and neutral, giving her a dewy glow with slightly dramatic eye makeup.

  She did a modest spin for him showing off the sleeveless dress with the bejeweled bodice in the front and sheer back with a light slathering of jewels at the top that became a more dramatic ensemble of jewels towards the bottom before it flowed out into a soft pink chiffon skirt. Cayla looked like she floated towards him in her new Valentino Metallic Cage Rockstud pumps.

  She’d fought him on the purchase arguing about the eleven hundred-dollar price tag. Her scowl deepened when he had the salesman to ring up the matching blush Rockstud clutch. Once she touched it, he could tell she loved it. Dex reached for the velvet box.

  “Don’t panic,” he warned. “I got you a bracelet and earrings to wear tonight.” He opened the box showing her the pink diamonds inside. “I would have purchased them for you to keep, but since you fought me on everything else I’d purchased, these are just rented for the event.”

  Some of the tension eased out of her shoulders. Dex knew not to take her too fast, but that knowledge didn’t stop him from purchasing a pink diamond ring set in a rose gold band. He had no intention of proposing during their trip, but he was happy to have it just in case. He loved her. He did plan to tell her at some point during the week. He’d just wait for the perfect moment to present itself.

  “These are beautiful,” she gushed as he clasped the bracelet around her wrist. She moved to the mirror to add the earrings.

  “You are beautiful.” She blushed and moved away from the mirror. “Cayla, if something is bothering you, now would be time to tell me before we go down to the party.” He turned her to him. “You can tell me anything and I will listen.”

  Cayla shook her head and smile. “I’m just amazed; it’s so much to take in at one time. You’re really about to be a celebrity.”

  Dex smiled knowing that was only part of it. “Trust me; you can’t possibly be more nervous than me.”

  “I bet,” she agreed.

  They arrived at the party eight minutes later. It was in full swing with all the behind the camera important people. Network heads, directors, and investors mingled while they snacked on fancy hors d'oeuvre and drank expensive wines.

  Izzie flanked him. Her classic black dress contrasted highly with her Icelandic features. She was stunning.

  “Dex, darling! You look fabulous. Cayla, you look lovely! Stay close to Dex; someone will try to take you for their own.”

  Dex watched Izzie closely. No crazy expressions, body language is relaxed, a genuine smile was on her face. Izzie wasn’t pulling a mean girl act. He eliminated her from the possible reason for Cayla’s distance. Not having a discord between his agent and his woman was a good thing, yet it did nothing to loosen the knot in his stomach.

  An hour in, they’d made rounds and met new people. Cayla was becoming friendlier, and some of the tensions started to ease in his shoulders. He’d even introduced her as his girlfriend on the last interaction, and she didn’t correct him. Maybe he was paranoid. Cayla had told him in Austin that he was all she thought about, maybe part of him was trying to be Nick-like and self-sabotage.

  Then he saw him. The culmination of his worst fears. Nathan Brooks. He’d met Nathan several times at one mixer or another and liked him. But this was the absolute worst time to run into each other again. Nathan Brooks caused women to stop and stare at him at every event he attended. His impeccable taste was born from being one of the best friends of Cody Powers, the men’s magazine juggernaut.

  Nathan had smooth dark skin, thick lashes, a toned body, and perfect white teeth. He’d disarmed plenty of women with his movie star smile. In other words, he was a physical manifestation of Cayla’s list: black, well-educated, successful, and very easy on the eyes. His hair was cut low, and Dex could see his waves from where they were standing. Visually, he fell somewhere between Lance Gross and Kofi Siriboe, but his body was a little thicker than Lance’s.

  Dex remembered that the last time they’d crossed paths was on his Lake Tahoe getaway; Nathan and his friends had the same idea for a little R & R getaway. They’d run into each other in the sauna where his friends ribbed him about gaining extra muscle to keep up with Adriel’s addiction to black women. Dex had given them a brief, shallow run down about Cayla. Nathan had smiled good naturedly and complained about now having to compete with all the white men for a good black woman.

  Nathan caught his eye and sent him a genuine smile. Dex smiled back and prayed like hell he’d stay away. He tapped Cody and pointed in his direction. Shit. Worse, Dex felt the exact moment Cayla noticed him. She did a double take and emitted a soft gasp. Dex pushed back his jealousy. He’d noticed several attractive women since knowing Cayla; it didn’t mean he was going to act on it.

  “Dex, my man. It’s good to see you while we’re not sweating our asses off,” Nathan joked.

  Dex returned the handshake with a chuckle. Cody went into work mode.

  “Let me have a look at your outfit, Dex. Black Berluti custom tux and cuff links, Piaget Emperador Cushion watch with black crocodile band. Berluti black Chelsea boot. Beautiful woman. I approve. You’re Powers Magazine approved, Dex. Not that I doubted it.”

  Cody w
aved a photographer over for pictures. He took one with Cayla and another with Cody and Nathan.

  “Let me make introductions. Cayla, this is Nathan and Cody. Cody is the owner, founder, and CEO of Powers Men’s Magazine, and Nathan is the CFO.” She shook their hands, lingering with Nathan a little longer than necessary. “Guys, this is my girlfriend, Cayla.”

  Her hand slipped out of his. “Girlfriend? We didn’t discuss that, Dex.” There it was; his bad feeling now had a name and an occurrence. If there is a feeling midrange between embarrassment and mortification, he was there. She wasn’t finished. “You can’t give titles without the other’s consent.”

  She didn’t say it as a sidebar; she didn’t whisper it. No, she went a level above a conversational tone. Not only did Cody, the young male version of Anna Wintour of the men’s fashion world, hear her, but so did a few nearby people, including his future director.

  He could deal with the embarrassment had she looked apologetic for realizing what she’d just done. As usual, hot-headed Cayla didn’t see the issue she caused. She challenged him with a look that dared him to argue with her. This is how the term backstabbing originated. The pain was sharp as if he had actually been cut. Here he was, ready to propose, and she was trying to deny him in front to a prospective black male suitor.

  “Well, let me get the hell out of your way, Cayla. You were wrong in the sauna, Nathan. I am no competition at all. Cody, let’s grab a drink, so they can get acquainted.”

  Cody’s eyebrow shot up, but he followed. “What was that about?” he whispered.

  Dex bottled his hurt and anger. He must charm the people at the party. He could not let personal shit get in the way. He responded to Cody just to get it off his chest since he and Nathan were the closest things to a friend at the party.

  “I told y’all some of the drama in the sauna already. The main point is she is stuck on the idea that she is supposed to be with a black man. I’d thought she’d moved past that in the last month, Nathan’s appearance just proved me terribly wrong.”

  Cody looked at him apologetically. At 35, he was nine years Dex’s senior. “I saw you two earlier. I think she really does care about you. Sometimes, people need time to grow mentally.”

  Dex ordered a drink and scoffed. “She has a messed-up way of showing it. Plus, this isn’t her first infraction.”

  “Nathan wouldn’t really take her from you.”

  “I know. His good guy-ness radiates off him, which is what makes him perfect in her eyes.”

  “They’re approaching. What are you going to do?”

  Dex pushed away the dark thoughts forming in his mind. He couldn’t succumb to the hurt of rejection and his breaking heart. Later, in the dark, he’d confront his feelings. He must keep moving forward.

  Dex kicked back his shot and let it burn on its way down. “Focus on my career. I’m done.”

  Chapter 33

  Cayla balled her fists and released them. Did he really just pass her off to Nathan like his personal whore he shared with his friends? She called him out on one thing, and he’d abandoned her. Now he’s at the bar drinking and talking to Cody as if she were nothing to him. Why was she there? She shifted her embarrassed eyes over to a grinning Nathan. He wasn’t a grin that displayed interest in her; it was an amused grin.

  “Well, you make quite an entrance.” He laughed, displaying his gorgeous smile.

  Cayla had to shelf her irritation at Dex to concentrate on what he was saying. “What do you mean?” Nathan was damn hot, but her anger didn’t let her appreciate it.

  “How old are you?” he countered.

  “Twenty-six. Why?”

  “I remember being twenty-six. Is this your first event of this caliber?”

  “Yes...” Was it that obvious?

  “The way he left may have been harsh, but Dex is a good guy. He will have to attend a lot of these events. You don’t seem prepared for that.” He was speaking to her like a well-meaning big brother.

  “What?” She looked down at her outfit.

  “Mentally,” he corrected. His smile deepened when she frowned at him. “I’m not being mean. I’m just trying to help. You’re obviously mad at him for the way he just left so you may not receive this information from him.”

  “What am I supposed to receive?” Cayla’s question was curt.

  “You are the date of the guest of honor. Your job as his date is to make him look good, not challenge or embarrass him.”

  “I’m supposed to be silent, you mean?” Cayla didn’t like how Nathan was coming off all chauvinistic in his advice.

  “No. I mean, if he says your name wrong or mess up what you do for a living, you politely correct it by saying your own name or title. You two are obviously in some sort of relationship. If you thought he overshot his position in your life, you smile during the introductions and have a quiet sidebar when the guests move on. You don’t challenge the guest of honor in front of one of the biggest sponsors for the event in earshot of the host. And you certainly don’t act like being his girlfriend is the most abhorrent thing you’ve ever heard.”

  “I did not.”

  “You did. Why do you think we’re currently getting strange looks? Why did you think Dex assumed you preferred my company?” Cayla glanced around and found several people averting their eyes when she met theirs.

  Cayla flushed. She was far from disgusted or embarrassed at the thought of being Dex’s girlfriend. She was just briefly blinded by Nathan’s magnetism.

  “Nathan, you are extremely attractive but…”

  “You have feelings for Dex. The only two people at the party that didn’t know that are you two, dear.”

  Cayla nodded understandingly and moved in Dex’s direction. She could salvage the night if he let her, but after they talked. He may not like the way she said it or when, but he couldn’t go around throwing out assumptions or making command decisions on her life. Cody said something to him; he glanced in her direction then took a shot. He stood and smiled tersely at a few people then motioned for her to follow him before walking out of the ballroom.

  When they stepped on the elevator, he stared ahead with his jaw clenched. Cayla could feel the anger radiating off him.

  “Dex.”

  He held his hand up silencing her. He stepped out when the elevator delivered them to their floor. Dex stalked to the door, unlocked it, and pushed it open. Cayla walked in a turned to him.

  “The trip is over.”

  “Dex…” she tried again.

  “Just pack, change, and put the jewelry back inside the box.”

  “We can go back and…” He cut her off again.

  “We aren’t going anywhere. You’re going to change and pack. While I go back to party.”

  “You can’t just send me home!” Cayla’s tone was incredulous.

  “That’s exactly what I’m doing. You’re too unpredictable, and I’m tired.”

  Cayla felt her anger flare. “You’re sending me home because I said I wasn’t your girlfriend.”

  “That’s not how it happened. Don’t minimize it. And what’s so fucking wrong with being my girlfriend?” Dex face flushed with anger and embarrassment. “You’d rather call me out and embarrass me in front of important people than just take the title for a moment and talk to me later. Had I introduced you as woman I’m fucking, you would have passed out!”

  “Why did you give me a title without consulting with me?”

  “Oh, stop. You’re weren’t worried about a title until you met Nathan, the possible perfect black man you’d been seeking.”

  “Who you left me with like I’m some kind of whore.”

  “Then, don’t act like one. I introduced you the same exact fucking way to someone else and you didn’t flinch. You started salivating the moment he approached. Then – and only then – were you concerned about the title I gave you. You acted like you wanted to be passed off.”

  “And just told me you were a good guy…” Cayla said as she shook her
head. Dex was overreacting.

  “And you decided to return because I was endorsed by a black guy?”

  “There’s no need to be rude.”

  Dex eyebrows shot up again. “Try telling your fucking self that! I’m the one who’s constantly on the receiving end of your rudeness and lack of consideration. Yet, I continue to come back and do things for you. Did you forget you’re wearing at least six-thousand dollars’ worth of clothing as we speak? Ten, if you count the jewelry.”

  “Ugh. It always comes back to money. I didn’t ask you for this stuff. Return it.”

  Dex rubbed his face, annoyed. “Wow. Did you take a class? Or is it an art uniquely crafted by you?”

  “Take a class for what?” Cayla was confused by his question.

  “Missing the damn point. That is what you mastered in, isn’t it?”

  Cayla didn’t like Dex’s tone or how he seemingly assaulted her intelligence. She stormed to the dresser took the earrings and the bracelet off. The shoes followed, and she started taking off the dress. She refused to cry. She would not let him see how his insults cut her deep.

  “You don’t have to worry about me missing any more of your points.”

  “Good. Because it’s over, whatever you’d prefer to call it, is over. I don’t want you here when I come back. I will send a driver to take you to LAX. Go figure out what you want out of life. I have to go back downstairs and focus on my career.”

  Hearing his words and the caustic way he delivered them hurt more than anything she’d ever experienced.

  “You’re choosing your career over me.” It wasn’t a question. She busied herself with picking out an outfit to wear to the airport.

  “A thousand times, yes. My career is consistent, a constant. You…” He shook his head and sighed heavily. “You don’t want to be chosen. I am done trying to chase you.”

  Dex moved closer to the door. “That’s it. Are you telling me to pack my shit and go away forever.”

  Dex grabbed the doorknob. “That’s the textbook definition of being done. Keep the clothes and the purse. I’ll return the ring.”