“Nick also has a big house…” Amelia added.
“Hell, we even have extra rooms at our house…” Will interjected.
Dex felt the parents look in Cayla’s direction but didn’t dare bring up the elephant in the room.
“I want to be alone,” he cut in.
“Which hotel?” His mom wanted to know.
“I don’t know yet,” Dex skirted his mom’s question with a lie. He knew exactly where he was staying. He didn’t want any unwanted visitors. “Where is Nick?”
“In the room,” his dad responded while his mother continued to stare daggers at him. He didn’t care; he wasn’t changing his position. “She started to have real contractions and dilated a few more centimeters. It’s not enough to start pushing just yet.”
“Am I allowed to pop in and see them?”
“At your own risk,” Akila said. “She refused painkillers.”
Will laughed, “Her mouth is terrible right now. You gotta have thick skin, or your feelings will get hurt.”
The rest of the parents murmured their agreement with small laughs. “I’ll be fine; I’ve had extensive training. What’s the room number?”
Chapter 36
Cayla had heard of pleasure and pain existing at the same time but hadn’t experienced it until Dex had entered the waiting room two days ago looking like everything she wanted and nothing she could have. Previously, there used to be a moment or some sort of indication that he still cared when she’d pissed him off, but this freeze was the boss level. His whole persona said, I’m not fucking with Cayla today. His closed-off expression, all black clothing, lack of acknowledgement, and the parting jab when he’d left to find Nick and Kalilah and never came back were all indicators that he still wasn’t willing to talk to her.
She was too hurt and supremely focused on not crying to be embarrassed when each of the four parents would randomly give her a sympathetic smile. They’d ignored the event; all showing that they were not intervening. It was pointless. In the spirit of Nick’s advice, she was taking ownership, and this was one-hundred percent her fault.
The hard part was apologizing. Not because she thought she was above apologizing; it was being able to convince him to listen to her. Cowering in her house for the last two days wasn’t working. She took a deep sigh and pulled out her phone.
Cayla: Can we talk?
Read 11:00 AM
Cayla: It’s important.
Read 11:10 AM
Cayla: Will you please hear me out?
Read 11:22 AM
Cayla blew out a frustrated breath. This was not going to be easy. He’d proven that in a little over twenty minutes.
Cayla: I miss you, Dex.
Read 1:45 PM
She threw her phone down next to her on the bed. A fresh wave of tears prickled her eyes and flowed down her cheeks. She would have jumped in her car and hunted him down, but she had no idea where to find him. Their parents may not have caught it, but Cayla knew him well enough to know he knew damn well where he was staying. He was a professional traveler; certain arrangements were second nature. He didn’t want her to know where he was staying. She’d received his message loud and clear.
Cayla swiped at her tears and hit dial. She was not surprised when her call was declined. She tried the exact same thing three days in a row and got the same results. She was left on “Read” and sent to voicemail.
Then, she started with the gifts for the next three days. Each time she’d sent him something to The Food Lab, it would come back to her via courier. No note, no text, no phone call. Cayla dug deep. What did he want from her? To figure out who she was and what she wanted. Hope buzzed for the first time in months. Cayla had a new plan.
Dex stared at the clock on his nightstand. Fuck it. He was not doing anything. He was taking the day off to think about life. He’d been crowding Nick and Kalilah and getting all the love he could get from his sweet little nephew. Holding him was the only time he didn’t feel completely empty. Cayla’s attempts to reconcile left him hopeful and hostile at the same time. Can we talk? Hell nawl! Why? So she could apologize and expect to move on? Again? The gifts were as out of touch as her attempts to text. The fruit, cookies, and flowers all went back as quickly as they came. Her notes were nothing but attempts to meet.
Meeting was his weakness. He’d likely to crack face-to-face. His body still craved her and being near her and her scent would have him reverting to the crazy man who kept going back to a woman who hadn’t changed. His phone pinged again right on time.
Cayla: Hot chocolate is my favorite drink of all time. Hands down. After trying an obscene amount, I’ve crowned Land O Lakes as my favorite brand because of their creativity and variety. Plus, the amaretto hot cocoa is great for spiked hot chocolate. I highly doubt you could beat them.
Dex lips twitched for the first time since the party. Better, but not worthy of a response. He was positive he could beat them in his sleep. He received another text an hour later.
Cayla: Wine still makes me cringe, but I did give it a chance. I’ tried so many types I’d accidentally gotten drunk and had fallen asleep on my living room floor. Kalilah stopped by the next morning. I woke up to her tapping me with her foot because she wasn’t sure if I’d somehow died.
Dex cracked a full smile. He could imagine the scene. A horrified and very pregnant Kalilah kicking Cayla to make sure she’s still alive.
Cayla: I still like the one you served me best. However, I don’t know if I like it or if I was just full of despair. What was it? Beer is still ‘a no from me’ BTW.
Dex moved his fingers over the keys then retreated. Nice try. Food preferences and a Simon Cowell reference were not worthy of a response. He was in the middle of watching a movie in his hotel room when his phone pinged again. He started to see a pattern.
Cayla: I do believe my favorite Italian inspired dish ever is shrimp scampi. Although, I haven’t done an Italian restaurant tour to determine who does it best.
If he was talking to her, he would tell her that he makes a mean shrimp scampi. He was eating dinner when the next text came through.
Cayla: Knitting is not for the faint of heart. My fingers hurt for days. I will not be returning to the knitting circle no matter how good the senior home gossip is on Thursdays.
Dex laughed at the thought of Cayla doing a terrible job while being fully engrossed in pudding theft scandals. Dex found himself automatically looking at his phone on the hour.
Cayla: Spin class is not for me. My ass hurt so bad I left 20 minutes into the class. I was able to catch the yoga class, and I do like that. CrossFit can suck it. Water aerobics was my way of getting back into the Senior Citizen gossip circle. I will definitely do that again. Tomorrow, I get to find out how Charles and Stella’s date went. Hot details to follow, I’m sure.
Dex smiled through the next hour despite his failure to respond. Because they were getting somewhere. The next text was not as cute or light-hearted as the others, but it was still illuminating.
Cayla: This is the last text for today. With TODAY being the operative word. I think compassion is a wonderful trait. In my opinion, it says a lot about a person’s heart. There are few people willing to put aside their own stuff to help another person in need no matter how shitty they have been to them. You showed me compassion more times than I can count, but the two instances that stand out the most were when you saved me from that hell hole and helped me when I was on the verge of fucking up Kalilah’s baby shower desserts.
The phone fell when Dex’s hand shook from the sudden surge of emotion. He shook it off; she’d told him the sweetest thing in Austin, only to break his heart almost two weeks later. It’s still not enough, but it was one hell of a start.
Chapter 37
Cayla followed the same routine for the next few days. He wasn’t responding, but he’d seen them, and he hadn’t blocked her again either. She only hoped she was wearing him down. So far, she’d given him compassion, honesty, and chivalry
as the things she loved about him. She hadn’t used the word love, but she was working up to it. She was using patience. Realistically, she couldn’t undo the damage she’d done with a few texts, but she hoped he would be willing to talk to her soon. She was on her way to get some baby love from her perfect little nephew. After donning her raincoat and running to the car, she typed out her last text for the day and sent it.
Cayla: Forgiveness is a gracious quality you have bestowed upon me more times than I’ve deserved. And, while I understand you are well within your rights to never speak to me again, I’m still begging you for mercy.
Cayla navigated her way to the Sinclair home, but her mind was on Dex. She’d confessed to him that she’d realized that she didn’t like her car. There wasn’t anything wrong with her Audi, it just wasn’t her dream car. Cayla had gotten it because she thought it was what she was supposed to do since she had a well-paying job. She’d test driven a few vehicles before realizing she’d prefer a SUV and it didn’t need to be a luxury brand. The trade-in value of her quickly paid-off Audi was almost enough for her to get her Toyota Highlander damn near free. She loved being higher up, and it made her feel more secure.
Cayla pulled into the driveway and jumped out. The rain pelted her. The sideways downpour made an umbrella useless; she was getting wet regardless. Luckily, she was a raincoat and boots kind of girl – another thing she’d figured out lately. She was mentally adding it to her list of things to tell Dex as she entered and started shedding her rain gear.
“Kalilah?” she called.
“In the living room,” Kalilah answered.
“That rain is crazy as hell. I had to leap over a giant puddle and …”
The rest of the words died on her lips when she locked eyes with Dex’s indifferent ones. He reverted his gaze to the baby sleeping in his arms. His demeanor softened, and he smiled sweetly at his nephew and placed a kiss on his head. He looked so good with a baby, her ovaries ached. Cayla was stuck. She wanted to rush to him and tell him everything on her mind. She also wanted to give him his space and not upset him while he held her nephew.
“Kalilah, I told you to stop underestimating my power of persuasion,” he continued like she didn’t just enter the room.
“Oh, get off the gas. His name is Graham. Nick wanted a junior – but not really – which is why we used Nick’s middle name.”
Dex shook his head at Kalilah like she was delusional. “His name is Graham Benjamin Sinclair. I won. My Bananas Foster gets them every time,” he said with a smile only for Kalilah and the baby.
“Did you stick the landing?” Nick asked Cayla.
“Huh?” Cayla’s head was spinning. She’d imagined that she’d somehow softened Dex with all her confessions, but he still was not willing to tell her hello.
“You jumped over a huge puddle…” he prompted with his hands.
“No. I almost broke my ass.” She smiled at Nick. “Those two days of ballet I took when I was five failed me miserably.”
Nick laughed at the unexpected joke. “Because after your two classes twenty-one years ago, you were sooooo ready to star in the nutcracker.”
“Exactly!” Cayla joked. “I can practically move to New York to be a principal dancer.”
They laughed again. Dex kissed Graham and deposited him in Kalilah’s arms. He kissed Kalilah on the forehead and walked around and patted Nick on the shoulder on his way to the door. Dex’s rejection hurt every cell in her body. He’d rather leave than tell her…anything. The sound of the front door opening and closing served up her rejection in a to-go box, allowing her to enjoy it anywhere. Nick and Kalilah faded behind the cloud of tears in her eyes. Fuck it. She went for broke. She ran after him – shoes be damned.
He was on the porch looking out at the rain, but her appearance had him walking toward the downpour. It was the closest she’d been to him since their fight, and she wanted more. She needed to be near him as much as she needed her heartbeat. He stepped in the rain, and she followed.
“Dex,” she called inches away from him. “Dex!” she cried again, her tears falling in cadence with the rain. “Please! I know you can hear me.”
Dex turned abruptly while pushing away hair the rain was plastering to his face. “What is it, Cayla?”
The pain she’d seen in California burned in his eyes, and she felt the full brunt of it. The pain radiating off him was put there by her, because of her. She would go back and erase it all if she could.
“I’m sorry!” she lamented ignoring the punishing rain.
“You’ve said that before. A lot,” he spat before turning.
“It’s different. I get it now! I wasn’t sure of who I was and deflected a lot. I understand your points.” She followed him down the walkway towards the driveway. “Relationships require give and take from both sides, compromise, if necessary. You did all the giving, and I kept taking without fully acknowledging the sacrifice. Not money or possessions. But the things a person cannot take back or replace: compassion, time, concern…love.”
Dex steps slowed, and she pushed on quickly. “You are a world-class chef because you placed your heart and soul into learning your craft, your passion. People around the world have to pay to experience your creations, but you were willing to share it with me.”
She took a deep breath to steady her voice then continued. “A labor of love, but instead of seeing it for what it really was, being gracious and accepting it, I’d minimize or cheapen it by brushing it off as just the thing you liked to do, not realizing you don’t have to do shit for me; you did because it is one of the ways you show you care.”
Dex stopped abruptly, giving Cayla the courage to continue. “I know I lost sight of what was in front of me and hurt you publicly. While it was not my intention, it doesn’t negate the outcome. I know I left you hanging at that moment because Nathan looked like my list had just walked off the paper. It confused me for ten seconds, but in that eleventh second it was clear that you were right. You aren’t competition for him.” Dex turned giving her his full attention. “You aren’t in competition because there’s nothing for him to win.”
“What do you want from me, Cayla.”
“You!” she cried. “He may be the perfect guy for someone else, but you are the perfect guy for me. My brain and heart weren’t on speaking terms, but the lines of communication are now open. You’d already had and still have my whole, once confused heart.”
Chapter 38
Dex blinked a few times trying to verify he wasn’t hallucinating. Cayla had just acknowledged and understood every fucking thing that’d been bothering him. A moment he’d only dreamed about. Is this real? The palpitations of his heart said it was, but his brain couldn’t reconcile that Cayla and the thoughtful woman following him in the rain were the same person. It was only one way to find out for sure.
He grabbed her before he could change his mind and crushed his lips on hers. His whole body moaned, and his blood flooded with desire. Cayla fell into the kisses returning every punishing press of his lips. Oh, how he’d missed kissing her. Her arms flew around his neck. Her wet body pressed up against his, the heat of her skin beckoned him. Her scent mixing with the heavy rain made his dormant cock spring to life for the first time since she’d left. He needed her with an urgency he’d never known. It was irrational and reckless.
He pushed her against his rented SUV while fighting with the ridiculously rain-soaked hem of her dress. They managed to hastily remove her panties and unzip his pants, but he needed to be clear.
“It’s not over.” She wrapped her legs around him.
“I know,” she agreed.
“You still have to prove…” He pushed into her, instantly feeling what only Cayla could provide. They both growled their satisfaction. The heat of her surrounding him set his soul on fire. He could pretend for a second that they were blissfully happy.
“I know,” she moaned grinding against him, just as hungry for him as he was her.
“We’re not
back together,” he said against her lips before he deepened the kiss, tasting her whole mouth. He wasn’t sure how he’d lived so long without having her. Their pace was just as torrent as the rain. Both taking what they needed from each other. “Words are one thing…” he started before nibbling on her neck, trying to get all he could in the moment.
“Actions,” she whimpered. His erection strengthened inside of her, having her agree with him was the hottest thing ever.
“So good, Dex,” she moaned nearing her release, her legs squeezing him tighter. He palmed her breasts, teasing them through her soaked clothes. He arched his back and drove deeper into her, pressing her harder against his SUV.
“So damn good,” he agreed as they both shuttered their release. Their yells were swallowed by the thunder.
Cayla: I took your advice.
Dex smiled at the attached photo of a cognac brown Dotson puppy with big eyes staring up at the camera. The things she’d told him, and the rain sex had earned her responses to her texts. They talked on the phone sporadically, but he was busy with the show. However, the five weeks apart had strengthened their relationship far beyond the shaky ground they were on prior.
He no longer had to worry about which version of Cayla he was going to encounter. Dex could say they were real friends. He also could say that he loved her without the pain he’d felt previously. He hadn’t told her again, and she hadn’t told him, but he felt it.
Dex: You made Kalilah a fur auntie, I see.
Cayla: For now. I want children one day. I’m thinking two or four. It must be an even number. Don’t want any middle child drama.
Dex: DD was the perfect middle child. She was sandwiched between her brothers. She hates and loves us equally. I can send her a text and I’ll either get a middle finger emoji or a heart. It’s a toss-up.
Cayla: Something tells me that her responses are based on what YOU send her.
Admit It Page 23