by Wesley Banks
“I’m sorry, but my roommates were driving me absoposilutely crazy.” She walked over to the couch and Casey followed. “Seriously,” she went on. “They never stop studying.”
“It’s med school,” Casey said. “That’s kind of the point.”
Nikki stopped eating and looked Casey up and down. “Umm, why are you all dressed up?”
Casey smiled and bit down on her lip.
Nikki dropped the bag of chips and ran to the window. She spread the blinds apart and looked out. “Was he here?”
“Mayyybeee,” Casey said.
“How could you not tell me?” Nikki yelled.
“I was nervous. I just didn’t want it to be a big deal.”
“And?”
“And it was amazing.”
Casey told Nikki about Aunt Diane and Uncle Jim, and Peanut and Butter, and the corn field, and the breakfast. When she got to the part about the monkey balls Nikki didn’t even question it. She just sat there eating one chip after another like it was popcorn and she was watching a movie. By the time Casey was done it felt like she had been talking for hours.
“So let me get this straight. Not only did you just go on a date with a super hot college athlete. But he’s an engineer and a cowboy?” Nikki looked around the room like she was lost. Then she reached over and pinched Casey on the arm.
“Ow!” Casey yelled. “What was that for?”
“Sorry, I just wanted to make sure this was real life.”
28
Silent
April 13, 2015
Parker jogged alongside Ben as they began their twenty-fourth and final lap for the day. Coach had called for an “easy ten,” which meant 10,000 meters and they weren’t allowed to run it faster than forty minutes. That was just over seven minutes per mile, so it was just a nice jog for most of the guys.
“Seriously, how did it go on Saturday?” Parker asked again.
Ben gave the same answer he had for the last twenty times Parker asked. “It went fine.”
“Fine? Seriously? You were obsessed with taking this girl out, and all I get is an ‘it went fine?’ How fine? Fine as in you probably won’t see her again? Fine as in she’s a bit of a freak and you guys had wild barn sex?”
Ben looked over at Parker, “What the heck is wild barn sex?”
“I don’t know, man, I’m trying to live vicariously through you right now and you won’t let me!”
“Vicariously?”
“Yes, man, I’ve been brushing up on my vocab. Girls like the smart guys these days.”
“Last week you told me girls liked guys majoring in agriculture, and the week before you were convinced it was all about wearing your visor backwards and upside down like you were Karch Kiraly.”
“Girls are fickle, man, you gotta go with the flow,” Parker said.
“You realize you have mental problems, right?”
Parker and Ben jogged across the finish line and pulled up in the grass infield as the rest of the team followed suit. Even though it was an easy pace, everyone was sucking wind. Between breaths, Ben said, “If you must know…I asked her out again for tonight…but …she hasn’t called me yet…so…I don’t even know what the deal is.”
Parker grinned, “Man, this is good.”
“How is this good?”
“Well, not for you. But, I mean, for me. I figure if you’re having problems with girls, then at least I’m not the only one.”
Ben just shook his head.
They stretched out and then hit the showers. With the last meet of the season coming up, Coach cut the practice short.
With a towel wrapped around his waist, Ben opened the door to his locker and pulled out his phone. It was 6:09, and she still hadn’t called. In fact she hadn’t texted or called since their date on Saturday. Of course, he hadn’t either though. What was the protocol these days?
“Yo, Ben!” Parker yelled, throwing a towel at him. Instead of hitting Ben, the towel knocked his phone out of his hand.
“What the hell, man?”
“Dude, calm down. Coach has been yelling your name while you’re lost in your own little world over there.”
Ben pulled on a pair of shorts and shirt, slipped on some flip-flops, and walked out of the locker room towards Coach’s office.
29
Overcome
April 13, 2015
When Ben reached the door to Coach’s office, he walked right in; Coach Melvick couldn’t stand formality. He was probably the only athletic head at UF that didn’t decorate his office with trophies and awards of all the previous years. It definitely wasn’t for a lack of achievements either, UF having been the Division 1 Men’s Track and Field Runner-up in 2004, 2005, 2014, and the Champion 2012 and 2013. Nope, all Coach had were a stack of yellow legal pads with tons of hand-scribbled notes about his runners and an orange and blue betta fish that his wife gave him.
“Shut the door behind you, Ben,” Coach said.
Ben took a seat in one of the blue leather chairs across from his desk. To Ben’s right was a brunette lady sitting against the adjacent wall, wearing a black pantsuit with a white blouse, and clutching a leather bound notebook.
“You wanted to see me, Coach?” Ben said, ignoring the woman in the room for the moment.
Coach didn’t say anything at first, he just leaned back in his chair and folded his hands in his lap. He looked annoyed about something.
“Ben, this is Claire Stewart,” Coach said. He didn’t motion at the woman, or even look at her. He just stared straight ahead at Ben.
Ben looked over at Ms. Stewart. She looked middle aged, maybe late thirties. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail with long bangs cropping her face, and a pair of glasses tucked into her blouse. Ben was unsure if he should cordially introduce himself or half pretend she wasn’t even in the room like Coach. The woman flashed a quick closed lip smile, and he chose to do the same.
“Miss Steward here is a journalist for the local ABC affiliate.” Coach paused again, seemingly forcing his sentences out through gritted teeth. “She plans to run a story in the near future.”
Ben tried to remain expressionless as his hands clamped tightly around his legs, as if he were bracing for impact. It hadn’t been abnormal for reporters to request interviews, but Coach was making this particular one seem like a big deal.
“She is here out of the kindness of her cold, black heart to let us know in advance,” Coach seethed.
It would be an understatement to say Coach definitely did not like this woman, or the reason she was here.
The woman who had been sitting silently in the corner of the room began to speak: “Ben.” Her voice didn’t seem hurtful or mean. In fact it was soft and slow and poured out like a stream of cool water. “I want to tell your story.”
Ben looked over at the woman’s dark brown eyes but didn’t respond.
She continued. “I want to tell the story of the young man who returns to running to shatter several collegiate records, after overcoming the tragic loss of his daughter and wife…”
The woman kept on talking about something, possibly even asking Ben questions. Ben still stared in the woman’s direction, but he didn’t see her. He didn’t hear her. All he heard was Grace’s voice. All he saw was her aquamarine eyes.
30
Story
June 9, 2014
“Will you tell me a story?”
“Sure,” Ben said. Have you ever heard about the tortoise and the hare?”
Grace shook her head no. “I want to hear a story about you running.”
“Well, this is even better. It’s a story about why I used to run.”
A look of excitement spread across Grace’s face. She grabbed Baby Bear and pulled him close to her chest.
“Long ago, in a land not so far away, there was the race of all races when a tortoise challenged a hare.”
“What’s a hare?” Grace asked.
“It’s a larger version of a rabbit. Very, very fast.”
/> “What’s a tortoise?”
“It’s a larger version of a turtle.”
“Is it fast?”
“Well, that’s a question that you’ll have to answer after you hear the story.”
“Okay, keep going.”
“A couple weeks prior to the race not a single person believed the tortoise could win because the hare was known as the fastest animal in all the land. The tortoise wasn’t very happy that no one believed in him, but he didn’t let it bother him.
“On the day of the race the hare offered to give the tortoise a head start, but the tortoise declined. So, when the race started the hare took off so fast that he left the tortoise spinning in his shell.
“The race was long though. It was through miles and miles of forest, and about half way through the hare was getting hungry. So, he stopped under a shade tree and ate a few carrots. He thought that since he was so much faster than the tortoise, he could rest and still have plenty of time to win.”
Grace turned over on her side and pulled the blanket up over Baby Bear.
“But…making his way through the race was the tortoise. He was determined to never stop, to give everything he had until the very end. And after a little while he passed the hare asleep under the shade tree.
“He was hungry too, and carrots sounded delicious, but he didn’t stop. He kept on going.
“About an hour later the hare woke up, thinking he’d only been asleep for a few minutes. But the other animals told him the tortoise had passed by here a long time ago. The hare jumped up frantically and took off, running even faster than before.
“He finally caught the tortoise just a few steps short of the finish line. Thinking he could easily pass the tortoise he slowed down just enough to wave to the crowd. But that was a big mistake because the tortoise stretched out his neck at the last second and crossed the finish line one inch ahead of the hare.”
“The tortoise won?” Grace said.
“He did.”
“But how, if the hare was so much faster?”
“Because the tortoise never gave up, and that is the most important thing of all.”
Grace thought about it for a moment and then asked, “Did you ever give up?”
31
The Past
April 13, 2015
Ben sat there staring at Claire Stewart’s empty seat, even as she walked out of Coach’s office. He still hadn’t said a word since he’d walked into the room.
Coach leaned forward in his chair and rested his elbows over the hard wooden desk. He muttered, “This is complete bullshit. People going around, digging in another person’s past like it’s just scraps of garbage to be tossed about. I’m calling the AD and we’re going to put a stop to this shit.” Coach swiveled in his chair and picked up the phone.
“No,” Ben said.
Coach slowly put the phone down and looked across his desk at his star athlete.
“This is your life, kid. Not theirs.”
Ben lowered his head and let out a deep breath. Then he looked up at Coach. “The past cannot be changed by words. It cannot be made better by sensationalism or worse by simplification. We are all challenged daily to accept our past, and mine shouldn’t be any different.”
Ben stood up and walked towards the door.
“How do you want to handle the team?” Coach asked.
Ben hesitated. Coach and Parker were the only ones who knew about his past. “I want to tell them.”
Ben closed the door behind him, and Coach looked over at the fish just sitting there in his little bowl. “Tough little son of a bitch, isn’t he?”
* * *
Parker was still sitting there, thumbing through his phone when Ben walked back to his locker.
“What did Coach want?”
Ben grabbed his dirty clothes and tossed them in the laundry bin a few feet away. “There was a reporter,” Ben said as he re-folded a shirt that was sitting in the bottom of his locker.
“What did he want?”
“She,” Ben corrected.
“Okay, what did she want?”
“She’s going to run a story about me.”
“Like about your recent records and what not?”
Ben grabbed his phone off the top shelf of his locker and looked over at Parker. “Yeah.” He paused, looking down at his hands and then back up at Parker. “And about Amanda and Grace.”
Parker straightened up and slid his phone in his pocket. “You okay with that? Because I don’t give a flying fuck who it is, I’ll go put a stop to it right now.
For all of Parker’s faults and shortcomings Ben could never say he wasn’t loyal.
“I appreciate it, but it’s okay. I’m gonna tell the guys before practice tomorrow, and then she can run her story.”
“You sure?” Parker asked.
Ben looked back down at his hands, but this time they were clinched. Without warning his right arm went back and his fist exploded towards the locker next to his. The painted blue metal caved in, folding up one of the hinges.
Jimmy walked around the corner. “What the hell man? That’s my locker.”
Ben turned around and started walking towards Jimmy, his right fist clinched and now bleeding. Parker cut him off though and started pushing him towards the door. He looked back at Jimmy. “Jimmy get the fuck out of here.” Jimmy didn’t move. “Now!”
Jimmy walked out of the locker room opposite of where Parker was standing in front of Ben. But before Parker could do anything else Ben stormed out of the locker room.
* * *
Ten minutes later and Ben was about halfway back to his dorm. He didn’t really want to go back to his dorm. His mind was focused on two things. One of them he didn’t have the energy to confront, and the other was Casey Taylor.
As if on cue Ben’s phone started to buzz in his pocket. “Hello?” he said.
“Hey, it’s Casey.”
The second she spoke, Ben knew something was wrong.
“I was beginning to wonder if you were going to call,” he said.
“Sorry, I got held up at work for a few minutes.”
“No problem, you still in the mood to grab a bite to eat?”
“Actually, I’m starving, but…”
There it was. The “but.” Quite possibly the worst word in the entire English language. To date, not a single person has managed to put together a positive comment after saying the word “but.” Tonight wasn’t any different.
“…I can’t tonight,” Casey finished.
“Is everything alright?” Ben asked.
“Everything is fine, and I’ve been looking forward to tonight, but…”
Seriously? I hate that word.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t find a sitter.”
Wait…that’s not a big deal.
“Do you like pizza?” Ben said.
“Umm, yes. Why?”
“Does your daughter like pizza?” Ben said.
“Yes…why?”
Ben knew what he was about to say was risky. He also knew something she didn’t: He was great with kids.
“Do you have any beach chairs?”
“Ummm, I have a few, but why?”
“Okay. I’ve got an idea, if you trust me.”
There was a hesitation on her end. Then she said, “Okay.”
Ben could tell she was nervous. He didn’t know how many guys she’d dated since her daughter was born. He didn’t know how many of them had met her or if it went good or bad. However, he did know she was taking a chance on him, and right now it was something he needed more than anything.
32
Familiar
April 13, 2015
A half hour later Ben pulled into Casey’s driveway, put the truck in park, and looked into the rear-view mirror. He caught sight of the look in his eyes and realized this wasn’t the same type of nervous he got before each race. The excited nervous he had on their first date was gone. This was more of a scared nervous.
His thoug
hts drifted back to Grace for a moment as he sat there silently in the truck. He wondered if Casey’s daughter would be anything like Grace, and what it would feel like to be with Casey around her.
The slight movement of the front door opening pulled him back to the present. Casey stepped through the threshold and leaned against the door jamb. She was wearing a dark navy dress that stopped several inches above her knee, and had a small column of four gold buttons that ran vertically up from her waist. The bottom of the dress fell soft and lose against her legs, but the top seemed to hug every curve and facet of her body. It accentuated her tight waist, and every thought he had for a moment was about wrapping his arms around her.
The scoop neck top was flatteringly modest, while the thin straps on her shoulders revealed her unbelievably sexy arms. That is definitely an underappreciated part of the female body.
Her blonde hair was down and fell just below her shoulders. She looked absolutely stunning except for one thing: she wasn’t smiling.
It probably had to do with the fact that he was still sitting in the truck, looking more hesitant than excited. Maybe she was thinking this was a mistake.
Ben reached over to the passenger side and picked up the pizza from Papa John’s, and two red roses from Flowers By Edie.
Casey smiled the second he stepped out of the car, and for what felt like the first time since he pulled into her driveway, he breathed. He carried the pizza box like a waiter in his left hand, while his right held onto the flowers. Just before he reached Casey he rested one of the flowers on the box so he could hand the other one to her.
She took it with both hands. “Thank you, it’s beautiful.”
“Hopefully the other lady of the house will think so as well,” he said.
Her smile faded at the sound of his words. “Ben,” she said looking up at him. She was going to warn him that meeting Emma isn’t like meeting a friend or a parent. It is so much more. And once he does this, there is no going back. Everything will change.