I can’t control the tears. I couldn’t save Liam. Why couldn’t he just let me go? He would be alive and looking after my babies. Now we are both dead. Tyler stands does up his pants and spits on me before leaving.
I have to get to Liam. If I am going to die, I want to die next to him. I’m so weak. I can hardly move. Once I make it to Liam, I crawl onto his chest. I place my hand on his face.
“I’m so sorry, Liam. I love you, you are my hear…….”
Rains words die as the life leaves her body, holding the only man she ever loved.
Chapter?
Liam
I hear Rainy, telling me she loves me. I want to tell her I love her, too. I want to yell at her and tell her to leave to get out. But nothing works. My body feels heavy. I need to get my eyes open or my mouth working or something. I have to make sure she is ok.
It sounds like the door was kicked open. I hear Storm yell, “Rainy, oh god no.”
What’s wrong with Rain? Dammit, body, work. Another voice adds in I know that voice too. That’s Man. My chest feels lighter, but Man yelling and crying doesn’t do anything to help me.
“Mom, come on, wake up. Don’t you give up. You fight, dammit. Mom, wake up. Uncle Storm, help, please. I can’t get her to wake up.”
I can feel hands moving over me. I want to scream at them to leave me alone and go to Rainy. But I can’t. My body is still working against me. I try one more time to move or speak anything but it doesn’t work and my world goes black.
Storm
I know something is wrong. I can feel it in my gut. I don’t know what is wrong or with who but I know something isn’t right. Man and I have been driving around looking for Liam and Rain because neither one of them are answering their phones. I just left Liam’s apartment where Rainy has been staying the last few weeks since she left Tyler for good after what he did to Gen. As I walk back to the car where Man is calling everyone we know, I pray the whole way, please let them be ok, lord please. When I reach the car I get in, lean back in the seat, and lay my head back.
“Did you have any luck, Man? Did you get in touch with anyone who knows where your mom and Liam are?” I wait a few minutes then look over at him. He has his phone in his hand and is just staring at it with his mouth open.
“Man, what the fuck dude, what is it? Is it Rain? Did you find her? Why are you sitting there like that? Fucking speak already,” I almost yell. Man jumps in his seat. I can tell by his eyes whatever is about to be said is in no way good. “Find your words and fucking use them, Man, right now.”
“That was Tyler’s boss. He said he didn’t know who else to call, he doesn’t know what is going on but that Tyler just showed up at the shop covered in blood. I don’t know, Uncle Storm, it doesn’t sound good.”
My heart stops at his words and his eyes meet mine.
“That mother fucker! Man, call 911 and send them to Tyler’s apartment.” I get my phone from my pocket dial Falls and start the car. When he picks up, I don’t give him time for a greeting I just start barking orders.
“Get to Tyler’s shop. His boss called Man said his ass just showed up covered in blood. Rain and Liam are MIA we have been looking for them all day. I’m heading to the apartment. You get to the shop. If that fucker did anything to my sister or Liam, he will die. And he will die by my hand alone. Do you fucking get me?” I don’t give him time to answer, I just hang up. I could hear him getting in his car while I was talking so I know he is doing what I said. Tyler Childs is finished.
As I pull up to the apartment building the feeling I have in my gut gets worse. Lord please let me be wrong. I need you to let me be wrong. Once I reach Tyler’s apartment I don’t bother knocking, I just kick the fucking door open. What I walk into is my worst nightmare. Rain is laying draped over the top half of Liam’s body, her eyes are open and lifeless and she has her hand resting on Liam’s face. There is blood everywhere.
“NO,” I yell and rush to my sister and drop to my knees. “Rain, oh my god, Rain, come on, baby sister, breathe.” I hear footsteps coming up behind me. I turn and see Man. He has stopped in his tracks, looking at his mom lying motionless in my arms and the tears hit his eyes. He runs to me and grabs his mom.
“Come on, Mom, wake up. Don’t give up, please. Don’t give up. Fight. Uncle Storm, help me please, don’t let her die. Come on, Mom. Fight this shit. Where the fuck is the ambulance?”
I check Liam, he has a pulse but it’s weak. Man is right, the bus needs to get here now. I grab my phone and call Falls.
“Speak to me,” he answers as a greeting.
“Rain and Liam are both down, Liam has a pulse but it’s weak as fuck.” I stop because I’m not sure I’m ready to speak out loud that Rain is gone.
“What about Rain?”
“I can’t. I just can’t say it.” But Falls has to hear it. HE loved Rain, too. He yells. “Damn you, Tobias Carmichael, u answer me right fucking now. What about Rain?”
“She’s gone. She is dead, she has no pulse and no heartbeat. The bastard killed her.” Before I can say more, Man starts yelling. He is holding her face against his neck. He is yelling and sobbing at the same time, his face in his Mom’s hair.
“No, she isn’t dead, Storm. Tell him you’re fucking wrong. You have to be wrong. She can’t be dead, she can’t be. She is strong. She will hold on, she has to. She has to.”
He starts rocking her again, pulling her tighter and closer to him while keeping her face in his neck. Whispering to her, “Just come back, Mom, please come back.”
“Get everyone here now, Falls. Liam’s pulse is there but its weak. I don’t think he will last long.” I hang up my phone and throw it to the floor. I fall on my ass, put my head in my hands and cry. For the first time in my adult life, I cry, I just let it all out. And all I can think is, that bastard took my sister. He took her life. I’ll be the one to take his.
Man wouldn’t let anyone touch his mom. They checked for a pulse and heartbeat all while he held her in his arms. They tried to get him to place her on the stretcher, but he refused. He carried her all the way to the ambulance and climbed in with her, keeping her in his arms the whole time. When I rounded the side, they were telling Man he had to let her go and lay her down. He just sat there brushing her hair from her face.
Falls tells them that they are to leave him alone and let him have his last moments with his mom and if they had anything to say about it to say it to him but to leave the kid alone.
They shut the doors of the ambulance, with my sister and my nephew sitting in the back. I could see Man thru the window, he was just looking down at Rain like he was hoping she would wake up at any min.
Falls walks over to me where I’m sitting on the hood of my car. I need to be heading to the hospital. The family is already on their way there, but I need to talk to Falls first. Falls throws down two sheets of papers. One is the adoption papers and the other are divorce papers. The mother fucker signed them before he killed my sister. When he sits, he doesn’t say anything. I don’t either. I sit there and watch the ambulance drive away with my sister. Knowing that I’ll never be able to see her smile or chew my ass for letting the boys cuss.
As soon as the ambulance is out of sight, Falls says, “You know the paramedics said that Liam is alive because of what Rainy did. She saved his life, Storm.”
I just nod my head. I’m glad that Liam is alive, but I would be happier if they had both lived. I don’t think Liam is going to think it’s a good thing once he wakes up. He loved Rain for more than half his life. I don’t know how I should feel right now. But I do know that I need Falls help right now. I don’t care how he does it, but I need him to make it happen. There is no room for excuses.
“I don’t want him doing a lot of time, Falls. I know that sounds fucked up, but that son of a bitch killed my baby sister. Him spending the rest of his life in jail lets him off easy. I want him to pay for what he did to Gen and Liam but more importantly I want to feel him take his last breath. I wa
nna see the life leave his eyes just to bring his ass back and start all over again. That is how he will pay for what he did to Rain. Do you understand what I’m saying, Falls? He will fucking suffer by my hand. He will die by my fucking hand. I know you are of the law well so am I, but I will not let him get away with what he has done.”
“I’ll see what I can do Storm but Tyler has made this a sealed tight case. He is going.”
I cut his ass off. He isn’t hearing me.
“I don’t want to hear that shit, Falls. He doesn’t get the easy fucking way out. The bastard dies by my hand. He doesn’t get to rot in a jail cell. Rape and beatings are not enough, they aren’t good enough. I want his fucking pain. You do what the fuck you have to in order to make this happen, Falls.”
I don’t give him time to reply, I stand and walk to the cop car they have Tyler in. I stand at the car and just look at him. This is the man that took my sister, this man beat her everyday they were together. This man is poison.
Tyler meets my eyes and smiles, then he blows me a kiss. “Her pussy felt so fucking good around my cock as she died. I can almost still feel it. It kinda sucks that she is gone. I would love a fucking replay of that shit.”
“You sick son of a bitch. I will fucking kill you.” I then put my fist through the window, hit his stupid ass right in the nose, then I make a grab for him and slam his head into the car door. I feel hands on me pulling me. I let Tyler go. His face is covered in blood but he is still fucking smiling. He has pieces of glass sticking out of his face. It still doesn’t make me feel any better, I need more.
“That all you got you fucking pussy? Your sister used to hit harder.”
I get ready to jump at him again but Falls is in my face.
“You want me to help, fine. Now you help me. Walk away, Storm. Go to the hospital and be with your family. You know they are going to need you. I’ll be right behind you.”
“Ok, ok, I’m going.” With one last look at Tyler I say, “We will have our time, Tyler, best believe that.” I spit in his face and then walk away.
Walking back over to my car, I hear Falls telling the other officers to “get this piece of shit outta here.” I look down at my hand and I have glass covering my hand, and I hope that Tyler has glass in his face. I get in my car and sit there for a second. Deep breaths, I need to get control over myself before I’m faced with my mother and the boys and Gen.
I watch the car that has Tyler in it drive away.
I will have my revenge.
Man
Sitting in this white room with my dead mom in my arms and it still hasn’t hit me that it’s real. My mother is dead. Dead. The word doesn’t even feel right coming from my mouth. You never really know what weight the word carries until it’s in your face. You know dead means gone, no life, no breaths, no smiles, no laughing, no nothing. I’ll never see my mother smile at me again. Never feel her arms wrapped around me, I’ll never hear her voice. I’ll never hear her tell me she loves me, ever. How am I supposed to live with that? Smiling down at mom I say, if you’re gone, who is going to smack me in the back of the head for cussing mom? I need you here with me, you can’t be gone. Wake up, Mom, and we can just walk out of here like none of this ever happened.”
There is no movement. I knew there wouldn’t be but dammit, I just want her to wake up. But she is gone and never coming back. She was taken away from us by the man that helped create me. My own father took what I loved most in the world away.
“He will not get away with this, Mom,” I say as I kiss her forehead and smooth her hair back.
Right then the curtain that separates us from the door is pulled back, I look up and pull mom closer to me. I don’t really know why. People have been trying to get me to let her go since we got here and I’m just not ready to let her go just yet.
Storm, Falls, my Grams, Callum, Malachi, and Genesis are all standing in the door. Gen is the last one in and softly closes the door like she doesn’t want to wake mom up.
Grams is the first to come to me. She brings her hand to my face and wipes tears I didn’t even know were falling from my face. Shit I’m crying, when did I start crying again? Hell, maybe I never stopped crying. Who knows?
I look up at my Grams. She has tears in her eyes but they haven’t fallen. “She is gone, Grams.” My voice sounds weak and it cracks with my words.
“I know, baby, you have to let her go now. Let the doctors look her over. Come on baby, come with me.”
I pull mom even tighter and lean away from Grams. I’m not ready to let her go.
“I’m sorry, Grams, I’m sorry I didn’t protect her better.” I look out at my family. “I failed her. I let Tyler kill her. I wasn’t there when she needed me the most. I’m so sorry y’all.” I say it to them first then I look back down at my beautiful mother and say, “I’m so sorry, Mom. I never meant for this to happen. I was supposed to keep you safe. You weren’t supposed die like this. I’m so sorry.” I bury my face in her hair and cry while my family stands around feeling the same regret I feel.
My face is grabbed by a strong hand and pulled not so gently to face my Grams.
“Now you listen to me, boy. You all listen to me, this is not your fault. None of it is. You all did the best you could. You kept her safe. Rain left Tyler. The five of you and Liam gave her the strength she needed to finally leave him. We don’t know how or why she ended up back over there, and until Liam wakes up, we won’t. So you all hear me and hear me damn good, this is in no way anyone’s fault. The only one that can hold any blame is Tyler Childs. Rain would have left him years ago if it wouldn’t have been for him threating y’all.
Now, boy, lay ya mama down, let her rest now. You know good and damn well if she was here, and saw you acting like this, she would kick your ass all over this hospital.”
Grams puts her hand on one of my arms and looks in my eyes.
“Let her go, baby, it’s her time to rest.”
“I’m not sure I can, Grams.”
Grams nods her head to Storm and he comes to my other side.
“It’s ok, son, I have her now,” Storms says while he takes my mom from my arms.
“Now get up and let me lay her down.”
When I get up, Grams, my brothers, and Gen put their arms around me as well as each other. I need to remember that this isn’t just about me. I’m not the only one that lost someone. They all lost their mom, Grams lost her daughter, Storm lost his sister, and Liam lost the only woman he has ever loved.
I look back over at Storm and my mom. He lays her down, kisses her forehead, whispers something in her ear. “I’m sorry, baby sister. I won’t fail you again.” When he stands, a tear falls down his face. He pushes her hair back, then turns to us.
He won’t fail her again? What does that mean? Before I can ask, he goes to Falls. Falls leans into him and says, “I did what I could”.
It’s now that I know that Storm has something planned. If it has anything to do with Tyler, come hell or high water I will be a part of it.
Facing my mom again, I see Grams is bent over saying goodbye to her only daughter. My heart drops. I feel like I should have been better. Kept a closer eye on her. Maybe I should have killed Tyler years ago. Mom would still be alive now.
“You rest now, baby. I love you and I’ll see you again one day.” That’s the last thing Grams says to mom before standing up and taking in the room with tears pouring that she is trying to get control of.
I take in my brothers and sister. Callum’s face has gone hard. You can see no emotion in his face. Malachi is pissed and hurt. He has angry tears falling from his eyes. You can tell from the way his jaw is set. Genesis is hanging onto Malachi for dear life. Her face is soaked with tears. They are all saying goodbye to our mom.
Everyone is about to leave but my voice stops them.
“When I was little, and shit would get bad at home and I got scared, mom would always tell me to say the Lord’s Prayer. That no matter what was going on, I could say it
and it would make me feel better. She taught it to me when I was four. I never forgot it. A few weeks ago, I asked mom if she still said it when things got bad. She said she said it every day, and that when things got bad that was what she would say over and over until it was over. I think we should say it before we go. All of us together.”
I look around at everyone and they have their heads down. I know we all know it. Mom taught all us kids and I know Grams taught it to mom and Storm. I hold out my hands and wait for my family to grab hold. We all bow our heads and say it out loud.
Our Father, who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass
Against us
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom
The power and the glory
For ever and ever
Amen
When I say Amen, I take one more look at my mom, then turn and walk out of the room, leaving my mom behind and alone.
Once I make it out of the room, I press my back against the wall next to her room. I slide to floor, my knees up, elbows on my knees and my head in my hands and I cry. Again I fucking cry. I feel lost. I feel empty. I feel mad as hell.
Uncle Storm comes out of the room some time while I was crying. I don’t want to look weak in front of him, but it feels like my heart was just ripped clean out of my chest. Storm puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close to him. I know he is trying to make me feel better but I don’t want his words. I want some payback. I want to make Tyler bleed.
“Grams is right, son. Rain wouldn’t want you to feel like this. She would want you to remember that she loves you. It’s her time to rest, son. Let her rest knowing that you know that.”
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