Brushing by several shopping bags, I rush out of my apartment in a pair of skinny jeans, ankle boots, and an oversized sweater—nothing he’s purchased. I’m wearing makeup, but only because I had a study date with a few girlfriends earlier in the day. I wouldn’t agree to dinner, so we’re having night-time coffee. He also wanted to pick me up. That’s not happening either. When I arrive at the café my nerves get the better of me and my steps slow as the dimly lit glow from the door gets closer.
Pausing at the corner, the same corner I was at with Tim, I sense Dominic’s presence. My skin prickles. The cool breeze that usually messes my hair carries a trace of the familiar cologne. I can’t decide if I want to run for the door—the safety of the café bustling with people who will hold me accountable for my reactions, or if I want to turn to face him in the dark. Dark is what I know with him, so I turn.
“Kayla,” Dominic says. He’s walking at a fast pace across the deserted road. I see his white shirt glowing underneath his jacket. He says my name like a goddamn praise—like I alone hung the stars that light his world.
I shiver. “Hey, you’re early,” I say. I never doubted his beauty, but time away has faded it. It’s not fair. It all comes crashing back over me. His hands on my body, his full lips telling me he loves me, the way he smiles widely as he leans in to kiss me. Hidden by night, he’s still everything. The decision to see him was foolish. “I’m not sure I can do this,” I say. Shaking my head, I look away from his face cloaked by shadows, closing my eyes.
“Coffee. Please, just coffee. Thank you for agreeing. I want to talk to you. Please. I miss you. Give me thirty minutes. Please.” Three times he said please. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard him use that word before. It’s odd that he’s staying arm’s distance away. “Let’s grab a coffee and get out of the wind.”
Tucking my hair behind my ears, I try to get my hammering heart under control.
“This is hard for me. Thirty minutes. I can do that.”
He rolls his arm in front of him. “After you.”
I do as he says, because that’s how it works in our world. I walk into the café, find a secluded booth, and sit down. Dominic sits down in front of me. I suck in a breath when I finally see him in the light.
There’s no comparison. It confuses me even more. “I feel like I owe you more than thirty minutes. My studio is brimming with unnecessary gifts, Dominic.”
He smiles, and I have to look away.
With a long sigh, he says, “You forgot about me so easily. I felt like you needed a constant reminder of me. I miss you, Kayla. I only have a small time, and I have a lot to say, and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to because looking at you puts me into a fog. You’re so beautiful. I see you and everything changes. The world shifts under the weight of your beauty. I miss you. I miss you so much it’s sickening.”
Swallowing down the huge lump in my throat, I meet his beautiful gaze. “I miss you, too. I thought enough time had passed that you wouldn’t affect me like this.” My hands are shaking in my lap and feel jittery. “I should have known better. At the end of this you’ll still be a magnate, billionaire who likes to spank bitches, and I’ll just be me. Me is good enough, don’t get me wrong. I’m happy and proud, but we don’t go together. Sometimes opposites aren’t a good thing. Sometimes opposites represent what isn’t obtainable.”
He cuts me off with his hand. “No one goes together better than we do. I spent some time back home after I left Cambridge after the finale, to think, and I realized how well you blended into my world. It’s effortless. You’re dating now. I can’t let that happen. I’m throwing my name into the hat. Date me instead.” He shakes his head when I open my mouth to speak. “Just date me. Nothing more. I want to start over with you. Yes, I’ll still be the same person—the one I am with you, not the dark man the world knows me as. Vanilla dating, Kayla. On your terms. No more gifts if you don’t want them.” Maybe the handbags. Wait? What am I thinking?
I shake my head. “Isn’t that counterintuitive after everything we’ve already done? I can’t possibly sit here looking at you and not envision you fucking me five ways until Sunday.” He smirks, but it falls away quickly. “If I forget I can play a re-run and watch it.”
“You shouldn’t swear.”
I fold my arms across my chest. “You shouldn’t be confusing.”
“I can’t sit here looking at you and pretend I’m not hopelessly and endlessly in love with you,” he says, breathing out. His lashes lower as he waits for me to respond to his confession. “What’s confusing about that?” He shifts in his seat and his foot bumps mine.
Everything he says is right. How can I compete with this? “You expect me to believe you’re leaving your old lifestyle behind? That easily? The control. The thrill. The…spanking,” I say, lowering my voice. “How did you know I was dating anyways?”
He leans in. “Only if you want to leave it behind.” He clears his throat. “Tim called me. Said you were confused and if I didn’t get back into your good graces as soon as possible you were liable to switch teams.” He laughs. I don’t. “He’s a good friend to you.”
More than a friend, I feel like saying. “I can’t believe he called you. I am not a lesbian.”
Dominic squints his eyes. “You aren’t.”
“Have you been dating?” I ask.
He looks away. Uh-oh. “I’ve been dabbling in my usual ways in an effort to get over you. I won’t lie to you. I don’t want that, though. I want you. I gave you time. Please give me yours now.”
I feel sick. “You’ve been in underground dungeons with chains and orgies and I don’t even know what else, and you tell me you want a college girlfriend who wants vanilla sex? How is this plausible? You created The Dom Games, for crying out loud.” My voice is louder than it should be, and a couple glances our way. I turn my face quickly. Dominic never stops staring at me. Shaking his head, he smiles. “You want to date. Fine.” I don’t see how it will progress from that. I love this man. I know it won’t be enough. I’ll guard myself this time, though.
“Yes, then?” he asks. His brows rise in question. It makes him even more unbearably attractive. I sigh. Our coffees arrive. Mine decaf so I can sleep, and his straight up black caffeine. “I don’t want anything except you. However you’re willing to give yourself to me. It’s completely plausible because I’m in love with you. There aren’t any dungeons. And the studio and the games are my job. That’s it at this point. I promise. Start your future with me.”
“Yes,” I mutter and then realize something. “This is the first date, right? So, what happens when we end up having sex in your car the second we walk out of the door? Does that make me your whore again?” How would I explain this relationship to my parents? My brother? Oh, God. The paparazzi will come back. My heart rate picks up. This is part of what comes with his life. Can I deal with it? He’s not asking me to change at all. He wants me just like this—knowing full well my flaws won’t disappear. “I don’t see how starting over with you is likely.”
“Do you want to make love in my car, Kayla?” My core clenches. The look in his eyes is dead serious. All of my hesitations and questions make room for my desire. “It’s a rental, so we can go make a right fine mess if that’s what you want. I won’t pretend I’m not attracted to you because it’s our first date.” He air-quotes the word first. “You are the only woman on the face of the planet I have eyes for. Everything about your body and mind is beautiful, stunning—arranged in this perfect mix that brings me to my knees. Your perfection haunts me, Kayla. Whatever you want. Say the word.”
Game. Set. Match. “I thought I was falling for Tim.” Ignoring his sentiments for a few more minutes won’t hurt anything.
He pauses for a few moments. “He told me.” That’s a surprise. Dominic laughs when he sees the look on my face. “I was angry, but he’s convinced you were confused, so he’s alive.” I was confused. Obviously so.
I shake my head. “It was some cavewoman response to him
protecting me, I think, because looking at you, simply looking, changes everything. I don’t want to be the woman who haunts you, Dominic. I’m far from perfect, but if you’re willing to be patient I’m willing to try.” The clinks of silverware and light murmurs from the other patrons disappear as I weigh the weight of my decision. “Because I love you.”
His smile is beatific. I can’t help but stare and shine back at him. “I love you,” I whisper again, taking his hand from the center of the table. This won’t be easy. This will be more difficult than any scene on The Dom Games. This is real life, but filtered.
Dominic is a man looking at his sun, not anything else. It’s as simple and as complicated as that. He squeezes my hand. “Thank you,” he says. Then, when our fingers are interlaced he whispers, “I love you, too.” And the heartbreak that resides in every corner of my body chips away. A little. “So much.”
Chapter Twenty-One
“Going back to Cali”
Kayla
Three dates in and we can’t keep our hands off each other. From the car to my studio took twice as long because he stopped every couple feet to push me against the hallway wall and kiss me senseless. Senseless isn’t the right word. He’s obliterating every nerve ending inside and outside my body. I can’t think straight. Why did I ever stay away from him?
“You taste so good. I want to taste you everywhere,” Dominic whispers, his mouth lightly brushing my ear lobe. Dating him has been enlightening. It’s also been sexually frustrating. He’s answered all of my questions about everything. His first girlfriend. She was a freaky blonde named Molly. He admitted he likes makeup and hair at the studio, to which I responded by teasing him unmercifully. I asked about his childhood, and he answered candidly—telling me a funny story he remembers about his brother Aden.
Somehow our conversations always wind their way back to sex. He talks with his hands and looking at his strong, skilled fingers makes me crazy with want. Wrapping my arms around his neck, clutching him to me, I pull him nearer. I want to be like this with him always—where I can see the flecks of green in his eyes and have his hands in my proximity. “Yes. Yes. I missed you so much,” I reply. He can taste me anywhere he wants.
Mostly our relationship has consisted of sexually charged lunches when he flies to this coast for business in the city. Dominic will be here in Cambridge for a full twenty-four hours this trip. When he’s gone, I think about him. I try not to dwell on the past. We agreed that this truly needs to be a fresh start if we’re going to make it work. It’s difficult when the world knows how your relationship began.
The thought of missing him makes me want him. Right now. “Why don’t we go to your penthouse?” I ask. Tim won’t barge in there. I haven’t told him of the extent of my dates with Dominic. I’m not sure why. I’ve definitely come to the conclusion that he’s nothing more than a friend. A great friend. In my twisted fucked up state, my brain concocted a fairy tale where the best friend saves the day. Thank God I didn’t sleep with him. It would have ruined everything.
Dominic waggles his eyebrows, grabs my hand, and jogs to the elevator to insert his key card to gain access. “That’s an awesome idea. I’m not sure how Van left it, though. Forgive me if it’s untidy?” The eyebrow reminded me of horrible-date-Nicholas. Dating anyone other than Dom now seems ridiculous.
I sigh, draping myself even further over his shoulder. “I’m thinking we probably won’t need much, darling.”
He laughs. “Did you just call me darling?”
“What of it?” I smile. He watches my face in the reflection of the elevator wall. I can see his face, too. It’s the combination of carefree and sheer testosterone driven lust. I lick my lips. He presses his into a firm line. I smile. He doesn’t. The possessive desire in so visibly blatant. I can’t help but feel devastatingly lucky. Picking me up, he captures me in a hug.
He squeezes my ass in his large hands. “I like it. That’s all. Say it again.” I do. And then again, because it makes his cock harden even further. I feel his girth pressing against me. He lets me slide down his body until my lips are even with his. His dick is pressed against my jeans, my legs wrapped around his waist.
The elevator opens, and he walks into the threshold and sets me on my feet, very lightly. “Darling. My darling Kayla.” His hands cradle my face. “How badly I want you in every way.” I can’t imagine he wants me any more than I want him. I’ve thrown all of my rules and morals out of the window at this point. “I need to tell you something…ask you something, rather.” Today has consisted of lots of talking, and he didn’t once preface it with such an ominous phrase.
Swallowing hard, I step away from him. Why am I so nervous? “Of course. It must be pretty important if you’re asking now. We should be rounding second base.” I take a deep breath and tuck my mussed hair behind my ears. He smiles when he sees the earrings I’m wearing. A gift from him. They are tiny pearl studs—very yuppie, perfect for my atmosphere. I roll one of the pearls between my fingertips as I focus on his face—his wet, full lips.
“Will you film the reunion episode with the other nine women? It’s in your contract, of course, but I want to ask you personally. Before a producer calls and blindsides you.” He looks away. “I don’t see that going swimmingly.” Fuck no, it wouldn’t.
No. No. No. “What? Well, you’re blindsiding me now. It will be good for ratings? Is that what this is about, Dominic? Are you pretending to be interested in whatever this is between us to keep up good pretenses for ratings gold? My God, I knew it was important to you, but now I feel like an idiot for assuming this was more.” My breaths come faster. The whole “dating” was a way to get me back to the sub house surrounded by cameras and the other women. Of course I can handle it. I’m Kayla Parchet. I deal with any curve ball. I’ve struggled in life. I know what it feels like to be desperate. I also know what it feels like to be on top of the world.
He grabs my arm—his touch light. “We are real. Don’t doubt that for a second. This is about finishing what you started. I want you to appear on the show for continuity. It’s not scripted. You’ve seen other reunion episodes, I’m sure. Gage will ask questions, and you’ll answer pre-screened questions from viewers on Twitter, Facebook, The Dom Games website. It’s simple. Harmless. The world will love it, Kayla. You’re the favorite. I think it may give this whole thing closure for the both of us. We can start over after. You can speak your peace, which I’m sure will be interesting. I’ll be there, too. You won’t be alone.”
I consider this. The scenarios flit through my mind. Coco. I’ll have to deal with that bitch again. I beat her. I beat every single one of them. They don’t know that. “Will we be together? Like announcing that we’re seeing each other? What does that mean for the two actual winners then? It’s not honoring their contracts. Couldn’t that create problems?” I find it odd that this is even a consideration, but I met this beautiful man and fell in love with him under contract pretenses. This is the aftermath of such a predicament.
He laughs, running his fingers through my long hair. “You assume everyone doesn’t know already. You really do stay off the Internet, don’t you?” I do. I use my laptop for research and anything school related. I haven’t been active on social media for months and months. I deleted all of my accounts. You’d never believe how liberating it is to not answer to anyone. My real friends have my email and my cell number, and it’s exactly how I like it. Van told me there are several fake profiles with my name, using pictures of me pulled straight from Google image search. He put the tech team on having them removed for me, but they always pop back up. I find it funny and creepy. Who are these people? Why would they want to be me?
I back out of Dominic’s grasp to clear my head. “Everyone knows we’re together then? I won’t have to fight for my position on your arm? This doesn’t seem so bad, after all. Answer me this, though,” I say.
Dominic bites his lip. It distracts me. “Go on,” he prods.
“What would happen if I d
idn’t show up? Would I be forced to?”
He turns. The profile of his face is silhouetted against the dark glass of the window overlooking the shadowy night. “Yes. It would be out of my control, of course. I would persuade them to favor your decision if that’s what you wish, but it won’t be awful. I promise. Pre-filmed so I can edit it how I see fit. I’ll let you help me in the cutting room if that helps sway your decision.”
Agreeing should be easy. “This is a step back in our relationship, Dominic. I’ll do it because I was always taught to finish what I started. I left once, but that was your fault. I’ll go back. I have conditions.”
I walk back into his arms and trace his square jaw with my pointer finger. “I stay with you. Not with the other girls in the house. I get to choose what I wear, and you don’t look at any of the other women.” I laugh. I know the last request is ludicrous.
He shakes his head. “I only have eyes for you. It’s never been like this for me before. Never once in my entire life has this been an option.” He motions between us with one hand. “I’m serious about us. We’ll make this work while you’re in school, but as soon as you’re finished. You’re all mine.” He respects me enough to let me follow my dreams. Hell, he funded them.
“Thank you,” I say, bringing my finger to his mouth. He takes it between his teeth playfully. “I’m okay with that. You’re all mine?” Dominic nods and then furrows his brow. “What?” I ask, rubbing the worry line on his forehead.
The Dom Games Page 18