by Sheila Kell
She reached under his sweater and slid her hands over his chest. “We already know that you being on your back doesn’t limit us.”
Which was what he needed to hear.
* * * * *
Naked, lying in bed, AJ kissed Megan, feasting on her mouth with his lips and tongue as a heated passion flowed between them. Her sweet taste made him lose focus of everything but her. He could kiss her like this forever. But, he wanted more.
From the beginning, there had been something about Megan that told him things would not be easy, but they’d be worth it. Now, shaking with lust, he needed her more than ever, needed everything she could give.
She moaned, sexy and throaty, and arched into his hand, hurling heat to his heavy erection that painfully throbbed with the need to be inside her, to fill her, to feel her come around him.
Raising his mouth from hers, he gazed into her darkening eyes. He brought his slightly trembling hand to her face and lightly stroked her cheek with the back of it. She was beautiful, inside and outside. He’d been lucky she had been thrown in his path.
Having her beside him, her lips wet and swollen, her hair splayed over the pillows, and her eyes clouded with lust would be a snapshot he’d never forget. “I can’t get enough of you, Megan.”
What had she done to him? They were in a dangerous situation, and he’d willingly turned their protection over to his brothers so he could be inside her. And this wasn’t the first time. If it had been the olden days, he’d think she’d bewitched him.
“I feel the same.” Her voice was breathless, and her body trembled. She pulled him down for a hot, demanding kiss, her tongue invading his mouth, her nails cutting into his back. He groaned. His little dove wasn’t shy and knew how to push him to the edge.
AJ slid his lips from hers, kissing across her cheek, teasing the sensitive skin along her jaw, grazing her earlobe and then his lips explored, ever so slowly, along the silky expanse of her neck, pausing at a rapidly beating pulse that matched his own.
She whimpered softly as he continued his path toward her breast.
He took the puckered bud into his mouth, sucking, teasing, nipping, until she moaned and writhed beneath him. Her body’s passionate response urged him forward. Moving his hand down, his fingers crossed the beginning of hair growth on her mound. Maybe she would let him shave her? That erotic vision flitted through his mind. He tamped it and the other dozen fantasies down. Later.
AJ slid his fingers across her slick folds, nudging a finger inside her core, finding her hot, drenched…ready. Her hips strained to meet his touch. Groaning, he gave her clitoris an idle flick before slipping two fingers inside her. He loved the small, erotic sounds she made.
Sounds that made his cock throb painfully, needing release.
Megan glided her hand down his chest, teasing along the way, playing with the curly hair, tweaking the nipples before slipping to grasp his rock-hard cock. His breath caught, and every muscle in his body clenched. Her touch left a trail of fire in its wake that only she could extinguish.
Grasping him tight, she stroked his length from shaft to tip, her thumb teasing the crown when she reached it, wiping away his pre-cum. After several minutes of torture, she clasped his testicles and gave a light squeeze.
His body jerked, and his groan sounded animalistic. Her touch set his body on the edge of the flood gate, ready for the dam to break. There was only so much he could take.
Maneuvering above her, their bodies aligned, he rested on his forearms, unsure if he could string any words together. “Minx,” he rasped.
“What about your leg?”
“What leg?” He tamped down the pain. He needed to be in control.
A slow, sexual smile grew on her face. “Hmm.” She wrapped her legs around his back and guided him to her entrance.
AJ looked down at Megan, the heat in her eyes seemed to mirror the hunger raging inside him. With sweat forming on his forehead, he gritted his teeth and nudged his way inside her until he fully seated himself. A look of pleasure reflected on her face.
She lifted her hips off of the bed and rocked against him until he could move and they fell into a rhythm they had perfected. Their bodies were in exquisite harmony with each other.
He leaned down, his demanding lips caressed hers, nipped at her bottom lip, sucked on her tongue. Her kisses filled him with sunshine, happiness and pleasure making him feel alive and exhilarated.
Megan’s breathing changed, and she wiggled beneath him, arching closer. He knew her, knew her body. She was close to orgasm.
Sweating, his heart thundering, he balanced himself on his left forearm, reached down with his right hand to cup her ass, and buried himself into her as deep as he could go, pulled out and plunged into her again, ensuring every thrust made the root of his cock graze her swollen clit.
She responded immediately. Her body tensed, her inner muscles drew tighter around him and her moans became frantic. She came with a cry, ecstasy on her face.
With a long drawn out groan, he surrendered, pleasure tore through as he exploded hot, fast and strong inside her.
He had no idea how much time had passed as he lay on top of her waiting for his floating body to return to Earth. Slowly he rolled off of her, pulling her with him so her head lay on his chest.
Megan snuggled into him. “I love you,” she whispered.
Her declaration slammed into his midsection harder than the force of the shots at his chest. AJ tensed and then went into flight mode. He pulled from under her, jumped from the bed and raced into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.
He cleaned himself, wiped off the small bit of blood leaking from his wound and then leaned over the sink, his head down. A deep sigh escaped. A sigh of despair.
She loved him.
How the hell did he deal with that? He didn’t deserve her love. He didn’t deserve anyone’s love.
Where did he go from here? Pretend he didn’t hear it? No. He expected she’d say it again.
Why the hell had he let himself get involved? He was supposed to protect her, not steal her heart and then rip it apart. They’d have no other option. They would end when this was over. Maybe he should tell her that so she could get used to the idea before she falls deeper in love.
No. He couldn’t tell her now. She’d beg him to stay with her and he couldn’t.
He looked up at his reflection in the mirror. He couldn’t stay in here forever.
What sucked was that he still desired her. He wanted her under him and beside him. He loved her.
He wet one of the rags in the bathroom and steeled himself for her reaction to his running off like a chicken.
He had no plan. There was no playbook for how to handle this. He’d figure out what to do as he went along.
AJ carried the damp rag with him from the bathroom and reached out to clean Megan.
“Tell me about Jake.”
His body stilled. Why not fuck up what had been great sex with her admission of love and his sharing what he’d done to Jake? AJ had come to expect all good things must come to an end. He’d just hoped for more time.
Reaching forward he handed her the cloth instead of cleaning her himself and then stepped back. “Are you sure you wish to know?”
She tilted her head and drew her brows in. “It seems to be something important to you, so yes, I’d like to know.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. The hands twisting his heart in two ripped it open. His soul dove deeper into the darkness. He’d held on to this for a long time. He’d held in the pain, the heartache, the inability to be happy. She’d been his last chance. And it would be over shortly. Why the hell not?
He sat on the edge of the bed but couldn’t bring himself to look at her. He forced breath into his constricted lungs. “Jake was brought into our family when he was ten. We’re the same age and quickly became best friends. I had someone else to help me stand up to my big brothers who picked on me and left me behind
.” Envisioning the fun he and his foster brother had brought out a smile which immediately disappeared.
“We’d just graduated from college. We’d left one party and were headed to another. Jake decided he’d rather go home. Since he’d had too much to drink, we dropped him off and continued on with our sober, designated driver.”
He didn’t want her to think he’d been irresponsible enough to drink and drive or let Jake do the same. Not that it mattered with the whole of it. He’d just needed to tell her.
“I arrived home early in the morning and had something to tell Jake.” He waved his hand as if to brush something away. “I went to his room and, as usual, opened the door without knocking.”
He stood, let his head fall back and took a deep breath. God how he’d fucked up. He dropped his head and turned back to her. “I found Jake and Emily in bed together. She’d just turned eighteen that night, at midnight. We were due to celebrate her birthday the next day.
“As you can imagine, in my inebriated state, I went ballistic. I pulled him from the bed and began pummeling him. He didn’t fight back, just attempted to protect himself, like he knew he deserved the beating. At the time, I hadn’t realized he’d never thrown a punch.
“Emily’s screaming finally broke me out of the red-haze that had engulfed me. Tears streamed down her face and she kept crying out that she loved him and it was none of my business.” He heaved a heavy sigh. “She was right, of course. But I wouldn’t listen. All I knew was that someone had bedded my sister and it had been my best friend. He’d betrayed my friendship and the love my family had for him.
“He and I had been packed to move into our own place closer to the FBI office we’d be assigned to after training. For some reason I remembered that and gave him one hour to be out of the house and never return, or I’d tell our father what had happened. That didn’t seem to bother him so I lied and told him that I’d tell them it happened before she’d turned eighteen. Dad happened to be on a campaign tour at the time, so he’d have no idea when things happened.
“I don’t know what made me say I’d tell the lie. I knew I’d never actually do it but it shot out of my mouth. I grabbed a naked Emily by the arm and dragged her out of the room. She kept screaming for Jake, but I brought her to her room and blocked the door until I knew he’d left. I never gave him a chance to explain or say his peace. Or worse, say goodbye to the family.”
He and Emily had kept quiet in the beginning about why Jake had disappeared. Then his guilt became too heavy. Plus he wasn’t having any luck in his search for him. He’d needed his brothers’ help.
“After dealing with a broken-hearted Emily for a few weeks, I felt like an ass and knew I had to do something. I arrived at the FBI office, assuming he’d have done the same. He hadn’t. He never showed up at the apartment we’d rented. His cell had been disconnected.
“I pushed Devon, who was CIA at the time, to do whatever it took to help me find him doing what he did best. I even checked John Does to see if…” he turned as a tear slid down his face, “if we’d find him there.” AJ swiped a hand over his face, turned and sat down, his back to her. He wouldn’t let her see him cry. He was the monster here not the victim.
“It’s like Jake disappeared off the face of the earth. I’ve spent every free moment searching for him. I’ve used every resource I have, and I can’t find him. It’s tearing me up inside.”
AJ had dealt with almost four years of pain and grief about what he’d done. But during that time, anger at Jake for not fighting for his family raged within him. It had torn holes in his soul, left him lost, adrift only to surface for short periods of time before vanishing again.
“You haven’t had a chance to meet my sister and niece. Amber is Jake’s daughter. He has no idea she exists or that my sister still pines for him. She says she’s fine but I can see the light that has left her eyes. She and the family say they don’t blame me, but I know deep down they do. They said that Jake knew he could’ve contacted one of them if he’d wanted, but chose not to. My dad took it hard that he’d just walked away without a thank you or goodbye. To this day, he doesn’t know what happened. I can’t bring myself to tell him.”
A soft hand slid up and down AJ’s back, the warmth filled him, soothed him.
“Is that why the tattoo? I looked up the translation. It’s Latin.”
He looked down at his chest and nodded. “Never give up. I can’t give up, Megan. I’ve failed my family in the worst way. I won’t be whole again until he’s back with us.”
She spoke softly. “I’ve seen how much your family loves you. They don’t blame you. If anything, they seem to want to help you. I’ve heard the worry in their voices. I’ve seen them try to drag you closer to them. But you refuse. You allow yourself to be like this. To bear this entire burden. AJ, Jake has just as much blame here as you do. You have to release this guilt and live your life.”
He finally took a chance and looked into her eyes. His heart jumped. Her love lit them. How could what he’d done not dim it? Not make it disappear? He’d ruined two people’s lives. Not to mention left a hole in plenty of others. He slowly reached up. With the pad of his thumb he outlined her lips. She was just too good for him.
“Now can you say you still love me?” Dread filled his belly at what her answer would be. He shouldn’t care but he did.
He felt her words on his thumb. “Yes I still love you, AJ Hamilton.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Megan’s editor must have forgiven her for not sharing the details of her article before submitting it, because it had been printed front and center in the newspaper. The DEA had confiscated ten kilograms of cocaine, twelve kilograms of heroin, two kilograms of crack, and two pounds of methamphetamine. Not a large buy for Magic Shop to lose, but it would be enough to piss off the Magician.
AJ smiled at the thought. He’d love to have seen the man’s face when he learned of it.
AJ hobbled to the bed and dropped a kiss on Megan’s lips. The pain in his leg had turned to an ache. He bit through it since he’d caused most of the ache from his bedroom activities. He had to be ready when the time came.
“Good morning, my little dove. You’re so damn sexy in the morning. I’d love nothing more than to climb back in bed with you, but you need to get up and dress. Devon will be here shortly.”
She smiled. “Good morning. What’s different about Devon coming here? One of your brothers is here all of the time.”
“He’s helping us today. Now, get up. I don’t want him to see you like this.”
He watched her climb from the bed. If Devon wasn’t always so damn punctual, AJ would have taken her back to bed, and immersed himself in her heat and love. A place he would never tire of being.
* * * * *
Megan emerged from the bathroom to find a newspaper and cup of coffee on the small desk. She smiled. Just like old times. She loved this man more every day.
“Good morning, Devon.” She pressed a quick kiss to AJ’s lips and sat at the desk.
Devon chuckled. “Good morning, Megan. Great article.”
She turned to AJ. “Do you think this will do the job?”
He nodded. “It’s perfect. Carl will be blamed for losing the product, and Damian will still be in the shithouse since you’re alive.”
Just a few more days and, if their plan worked, this would be over. They’d have the Magician. Unfortunately, it meant her time with AJ would end. She’d told him she loved him, and he gave her nothing in return. Not even hope. Maybe if she helped him find Jake, AJ would reconsider a life with her. But maybe he was too broken to fix. She had to get her own life back on track first and then figure out what to do about him.
No more running. No more cheap hotels. She would finally be home, and she’d return to the newsroom. Hmm. She couldn’t return home just yet. Her house was covered in bullet holes. Hopefully the insurance company would cover the expense of the repairs. She didn’t recall bullet holes mentioned in her policy. Maybe
she would sell. There were too many memories, good and bad, that she wouldn’t be able to deal with every morning when she woke, and every evening when she went to sleep. They all revolved around AJ.
“What’s the plan for today?” she asked.
“We’ll be keeping an eye on Paul. We need something from him.”
“What? And how will we get it? I’m guessing he’s not just going to open the door and hand over what you want.”
A mischievous look covered AJ’s face and a twinkle appeared in his eyes. “We’ll break in when he leaves, and Devon will collect the information we need.”
“Don’t you need a warrant for that?” Now that she knew he was FBI, she was aghast that he’d break into someone’s house, especially without a warrant. Even she knew that the evidence would never stand up in court.
“Trust me, my little dove.”
She studied him for a moment then went back to reading the newspaper.
* * * * *
AJ, Devon, Megan, and their trusted bodyguard and driver Brad had been parked near Paul’s house for three hours. “We’re moving again tonight,” AJ informed her.
“How many more times will we move?”
She liked the current place. She’d become comfortable there. He hated snatching it away but he had to. They’d have a separate room again for privacy so he hoped that would settle her since it would be another dive.
He threw his arm around her and pulled her close. “As many as it takes to keep you safe.” He kissed her temple.
She wrapped an arm around his waist and his heart pounded. He wanted her now. Good grief. He had to control his lust for her.
He and Brad exchanged piercing looks in the rear view mirror. His brothers best not say one Goddamn word. AJ had heard enough. He would not push her away because they said it would be the only way to keep her safe, to keep his focus. Fuck them. He’d done a good job of keeping her safe thus far. Besides, he had his brothers protecting them now.