"That's a step in the right direction." I sense that she's staring right at me. "Did he invite you to New York to meet with him?"
"Technically, no," I answer truthfully. "He actually picked up something of mine off the counter and I'm going to get it back."
"What did he pick up?"
I pull the zipper on my overstuffed, overnight bag closed. "It's an envelope. It had his name on it."
"Was it one of those letters with your ideas about what you can do for him?" She steps right into the pool of her own assumption. "Do you think what you wrote inside caught his attention?"
The irony of the question isn't lost on me. "I'm sure it did."
"So why are you going all the way to New York to get it back?"
"I wasn't ready to show it to him yet." Yes, I'm referring to the picture of my breasts, but Roni is none the wiser. "I need to explain it more to him so he understands exactly what I can offer him."
If she had any clue about what I'd shoved into that envelope, she'd realize all the hidden innuendo woven into my calculated responses to her questions. Fortunately, she's too focused on her impending date tonight to care what I'm doing or why I'm really going to New York.
***
"You can't just walk in here and expect Mr. Parker to see you," she says rapidly before her index finger darts into the air. It's a silent command for me to be quiet. It's the third time in the past ten minutes that she's used it on me.
I lean forward on the steel counter trying to divert her attention from her call. I had rehearsed what I wanted to say to Clive over and over again last night before I crawled into bed and closed my eyes in a small hotel room near Penn Station. The incessant noise from the room next to mine had kept me from finding sleep. I'm tired, I'm nervous and I'm trying to ignore the fact that this may well be my last chance to get the dream job that I've been pining for most of my adult life.
"Mr. Parker's assistant will call you on Tuesday at ten." She doesn't wait for a response from the person on the other end of the line before she taps a long, bright red fingernail on the phone's base. "I told you to go. Mr. Parker is not in the office today. I'll take your name and give the message to him."
I've played that game for months. I've never had a call returned. Clive has never answered even one of the dozens of email messages I've sent to him. "I saw Mr. Parker when he was in Boston last week. If you tell him Lilly is here, I think he'll see me."
It's more wishful thinking than actual concrete belief. I'm gambling by throwing my name at her. I debated whether or not to do it at length last night. Considering how often Clive Parker is in the gossip pages with a new woman wrapped around his arm, he'd either mistake me for another Lilly or he'd struggle to place the name. I'm betting my entire future on either of those.
"I told you, he's not here." She doesn’t shift her eyes from the computer monitor in front of her. "He's out of the office at meetings today."
She wants me to believe her because that's what's expected. I know better though. Three months ago, I had just gotten into a taxi that was pulling into traffic when I saw Clive exit the building. The receptionist then had given me the same song and dance routine. The only difference was that, she, at least, tried to make eye contact with me.
"As I said, I met with Mr. Parker when he was in Boston last week," I pause while I try to search for what I need to say next to get me into his office. "I'm sure he would…"
"You saw Clive when he was in Boston?" The sound of a woman's voice behind me startles me. I turn to look at her. She's tall, brunette, slim and elegant. The smile on her lips radiates into her eyes. This is the first friendly face I've seen since I started my bi-monthly pilgrimage to New York City and the lobby of this building in lower Manhattan.
"I did." I take a step forward. "I'm Lilly Randall."
"Lilly Randall," she repeats my name back as her hand darts into the air between us. "I know who you are, Lilly Randall."
My hand stalls briefly before I clasp hers tightly. I run my free hand over my forehead trying to chase away all the self-doubt. There's no way she can know about the envelope I sent Parker. It's not a possibility. "You do?"
She nods slowly before her arms cross over her chest. "Come with me. We have a lot to talk about."
Chapter 3
"I don't know what I was thinking." She hands me a tall glass of water. "I should have introduced myself in the lobby. My name is Rowan Bell. I work closely with Clive."
I take a small drink. In my haste to get down here by nine o'clock sharp I'd neglected my body's need for food and coffee. I feel parched and the cool water is helping to chase that away. Unfortunately, it's doing nothing for my growing anxiety about how Rowan knows my name. "Thank you for this," I offer before I take another large swallow.
She nods sharply as she lowers herself into the chair next to me in front of her desk. "So you saw Clive when he was in Boston?"
I reach forward to place the glass on the desk before I realize that holding it will occupy my hands so that she won't notice how they're shaking. "We met briefly at the coffee shop I work at."
Her eyes scan me from head-to-toe, taking in the plain navy heels I've paired with a pencil skirt of the same shade and a white blouse. I feel underdressed next to her. I'm not a designer label aficionado by any means, but there's no mistaking an expensive woman's suit when it's sitting across from me, with two very long, perfectly toned legs jutting down to a pair of Louboutin heels.
"You're working at a coffee shop?" She leans back slightly in her chair, her back relaxing. "You haven't pursued something else?"
She's not the first person to ask me that question. It's expected given my drive to get my degree. Software development is my passion but settling for an entry level job where I'm tucked into a cubicle to handle coding errors for the foreseeable future is about as appealing as making lattes. I want one job and one job only and until I know with absolute certainty that I'm not getting it, I'm going to keep my eye on that prize. Crafting beverages and serving sandwiches for a living is only a means to an end. The end is within the walls of this office tower.
I take another mouthful of the water before I look directly at her. "My goal is to work in this organization."
She smiles broadly. "I like your determination, Lilly."
I heave a sigh that I try to hold in. I don't want her to see how incredibly tangled up I am inside. I came here with the fleeting hope that I'd get into the office of the illustrious Clive Parker long enough to not only convince him that I'd be an invaluable asset to his business but also to explain away the package I sent his half-brother. In my scattered thoughts this past week, the panties and Polaroid picture would be my excuse to see him. Once that happened, I'd dazzle him with all my ideas for growth in the app division of his company. It's a convoluted plan at best, but when you're working with the mess that I've made of my life, you can't be choosy.
"I'd really like to discuss some of the ideas I have for…" I start before I abruptly stop. "I mean, I'd like to discuss the possibility of a position here. I know I can bring a lot of knowledge and drive."
She runs her index finger over her cheekbone before resting it against her lips. "You don't have to convince me, Lilly. I'm the one who has been reading all your emails and letters. I can see the potential you have. It's just that we're not hiring right now."
I close my eyes as I hold tight to the almost empty glass that is resting between my palms in my lap. It's what I expected. Corteck has been hovering near the top of the list of the fifty best places to work in North America for the past five years. If a person is lucky enough to land a job here, they aren't going anywhere. I know logically that the chances of me getting hired are slim, but this is the only opportunity I'm going to get to sell myself to someone who has the authority to actually consider me for a position.
"I've had your file in my office for more than a year, Lilly." She leans forward in her seat so she can tap the edge of my knee. "I'll keep it handy. If somethin
g opens up, I'll give you a call."
She's expecting me to get up, thank her for the hospitality and exit her office with a smile at the promise of a position that will never materialize. "Is there any chance I can see Mr. Parker?"
"Clive?" She throws me a hard smile. "He's very busy, Lilly. He doesn’t handle things like this."
I have absolutely nothing to lose at this point. I can follow the rules and graciously disappear into the crowds of people milling about the streets of Manhattan on this Monday morning, or I can push my luck to its limits. "It's not about this. I need to talk to him about his brother."
Her breathing stalls just as her brow furrows slightly. I can tell that she's trying to regain her composure. "You know Parker?"
I know what Parker's penis looks like. Does that count? "Yes," I offer because it's much easier than trying to explain the sordid details of my unflattering online activity the past few weeks.
"When did you meet Parker?" She runs her index finger over the lapel of her jacket. "You two are close to the same age, aren't you?"
I've always believed that when a person tosses two questions at you back-to-back that you can ignore the first one. It's as simple rule that's always served me well, including right at this moment. "Parker is two years older than me."
"You never mentioned knowing him in any of your emails." Skepticism edges the words.
"I didn't want…" I stammer. "It's just that I didn’t want any special consideration because of that."
A faint smile pulls at the edges of her lips. "I understand completely," she whispers as she leans forward. "You want to make it on your own."
Sure. That's it. I'm so far into this hole at this point that I'll grasp at anything.
"As I said, I'd like to talk to Mr. Parker about his brother," I repeat to push the point. "It's important."
She nods before reaching towards her desk to pick up her smartphone. "Clive's not in today. I can relay the message to him when I see him tomorrow."
I sigh heavily. By this time tomorrow, I'll be back at the bistro making some ungrateful customer an overpriced, calorie laden drink with a name that most people can't pronounce correctly. I know that once I walk out of this building, I'll be starting again at square one. "Is there any way I can reach him? I came all the way from Boston."
"Parker's important to you, isn't he?"
No, absolutely not. Parker Jarvis is nothing to me.
I swallow hard. Lying has never come easy to me but this isn't exactly a lie. I shrug my shoulders for exaggerated measure before I answer, "I've shared a lot with Parker."
She stands without warning. Her heels move quickly over the carpeted floor as she rounds her desk. "I didn't realize you knew Parker that well. I know that Clive has been trying hard to build a bond with him. I'm sure he'd want me to give you extra consideration given that you're a close friend of his brother."
I nod. This meeting has careened into something way more personal than it should be at breakneck speed. I should correct her. I need to tell her that I barely know Parker and virtually every interaction I ever had with him was from the comfort of my bedroom, while I typed out messages to him on my laptop. I don't know anything about Parker other than the fact that he probably has a collection or Polaroid pictures of naked women he's never met and that his dick curves a little too much to the left for my taste.
I lick my lips before I open my mouth knowing that I need to say something. I have to stop this before she assumes that Parker and I are hot and heavy. Who am I kidding? I can tell from the overly wide grin on her face that she's already jumped head first into that theory. "I'd like to talk…"
Her finger jolts up into the air in a gesture that mimics the woman at the front reception desk. It has to be part of the employee training. Her thumb scrolls across her smartphone's screen before she brings it to her ear. "Hi, it's Rowan. I need you to put together an employment package for me." She pauses as her fingers tap the edge of desk. "Do it as an entry level two. Lilly Randall is the name."
I sit silently as I listen to her spell out my name letter-by-letter. This can't be real. I didn't just land a position at the company of my dreams because I sent a random guy a picture of my tits. It may not be my first choice for getting my foot in the door, but I'm in and once I prove I have what it takes to Rowan and Clive, everything in that envelope will cease to matter. It has to. The alternative will mean I'll be making mocha lattes until I retire.
Chapter 4
"Everything is signed." She runs her hand over the edge of the papers. "You can start whenever you want."
Today wouldn't be soon enough. After a woman had knocked on the door fifteen minutes ago with my employment contracts in her hand, I'd fallen into a pit of pure joy. The small details about where I'll live and how much notice I need to give my boss at Star Bistro seem inconsequential right now. Rowan had offered me a temporary position filling in for an employee who was set to start her maternity leave in a few days. I read the fine print and I know logically that the position will only last for three months. I also know that I'm going to make the most of every single hour I'm here. I'll impress them to the point that they won't have a choice but to offer me something permanent. I won't waste this opportunity. I can't.
"I know you have to make some arrangements back in Boston, Lilly." She tucks the papers I just signed into a file folder. "Why don't you give me a call tomorrow and let me know if next Monday works for you."
"Next Monday will be perfect," I shoot back gleefully. "I can't thank you enough for this opportunity."
"You'll fit in well here." She takes a step back signaling for me to stand. "I'm excited to share the news with Clive."
I'm on my feet before his name leaves her lips. In my giddy state I'd forgotten the not-so-small detail of Clive Parker and the fact that he owns the company. My only hope is that he won't put the pieces of the puzzle together and realize that the Lilly that was hired to work on the fifth floor in strategic development is the same Lilly who wrote the detailed manifesto about the best way to suck a man off. By the time he connects those unfortunate dots, I'll have secured my place as a valuable member of the Corteck team.
I volley back and forth on my heels trying to lasso all the nervous energy I feel pumping through me. "I can't thank you enough for giving me this opportunity, Ms. Bell. I promise I'll work as hard as I can."
She races her hand along the sleeve of my blouse, stopping to rest her fingers against my shoulder. "My name is Rowan. You'll call me Rowan and I know you'll do good things here."
I have to. Before the papers arrived, she confessed that she'd have to work some human resources magic to push the person who was supposed to be getting my position into another division. I realize the lengths she's going to help me and I know that it's based primarily on her miscalculating my connection to Clive's brother. With the number of employees that walk through the turnstile in the lobby each day, I doubt that I'll even pass her in the hallway during my time here. I'll quickly become just another payroll number.
"Do your parents live in Boston?" she asks, catching me off guard. "Is this going to be your first time away from home?"
I reach for the edge of her desk to steady my knees. There's no possible way she can understand the tidal wave of emotion that races through me whenever anyone asks about my parents. It's something that I should be accustomed to by now. Friends and classmates asked the same thing on graduation day when I crossed the stage to accept my degree. "I've lived in an apartment near campus for a few years."
She nods and I instantly recognize that the answer matters little to her. She was asking merely as a courtesy. "I'll be in touch tomorrow. I have your cell number."
I take the hint and move towards the open door of her office. "You can reach me at any time. I work tomorrow but I always have my phone in my apron."
"It's been great meeting you, Lilly." She reaches towards me with her hand outstretched. "You're a very welcome addition to our family."
I
turn to leave after shaking her hand briskly. I freeze in place, my eyes stuck on the buttons of a crisp, white dress shirt that is covering the chest of a man. I breathe in deeply inhaling the intoxicating scent of expensive cologne. My gaze follows the path of the buttons to his neck, before it rests on his neatly trimmed beard and a pair of blue eyes that I'll never forget.
"Lilly," he says my name in a low rasp. "I'd like a moment."
***
"Would you like something to drink?" Clive asks me from where he's sitting in a leather chair behind his massive wooden desk." I can have my assistant bring you another glass of water or maybe something stronger is in order?"
The glint in his eye suggests that he's testing me. My racing pulse suggests that I'm on the brink of having a heart attack. When he'd asked Rowan for the papers I'd just signed, I saw all my aspirations being handed over to him. I'd silently followed him down the corridor to the bank of elevators and rode helplessly up to the thirty-seventh floor with him knowing that my brief moment of jubilant celebration had crashed into a million non-repairable pieces. My life, as I'd hoped it would be, was no more and it was all because of my stupid need to flirt with some random online.
Way to fuck yourself over, Lilly.
"Lilly?" He leans slightly forward, his elbows catching on the edge of the desk. "Can I get you anything?"
"No," I say sullenly as I try to sink into the chair across from him. There's no way I can hide my embarrassment and disappointment. I feel as though the brass ring I'd always wanted was firmly within my grasp for a mere ten seconds before it was jerked violently away by a gorgeous man who can't take his eyes off me right now. Normally, I'd be flattered by that. It's hard to feel anything but regret and humiliation.
His eyes finally leave me as he leans back in his chair, crossing his legs. "Let's talk about why you're here."
Gone - Part One Page 2