“Yeah,” Jimmy said, his mind suddenly focusing in on the fact that he had no idea what he was going to do now that he was almost finished with high school. Most of the other kids in his class had plans, the majority either going to college or the military. Some had jobs lined up. Jimmy had none of that, though his grades would have been good enough to get into most colleges. The trouble was he hadn’t applied anywhere because college just didn’t seem right for him. He also feared going into the military, not because he was scared of going to war – he actually relished the idea of going into combat -- but because he worried that he would have no outlet for his bondage fantasies.
Then again, up until today, he had never had an outlet anyway, the movies online and the videos he ordered from catalogs having been his only release since hitting puberty.
“You hungry?” Alan asked.
“Um, yeah,” Jimmy said. Earlier during lunch he had been too nervous to eat, the thoughts of grabbing Samantha after school having taken over his mind.
“Let’s go to Taco Bell.”
“Sounds good.”
With that the two started walking into town, a trip they often took when they were bored or hungry. The journey took them by the Hood place. Jimmy looked toward it, his mind picturing Samantha suffering in the secret fallout shelter. Once beyond the house, however, he went back to thinking about Taco Bell and the tasty Cheesy Gordita Crunches he would be devouring.
Chapter Two
Tina Thompson had been debating with herself for two days on whether she was going to ask Jimmy to the prom. During this time she had been waiting for him to do it, but he hadn’t, and now prom tickets were only being sold for one more day. She was going to have to do it.
Tina had first met Jimmy Hawthorn in the lunch cafeteria way back in January when she had been forced to move from Glen Ellyn to Ashland Creek to live with her estranged mother after her father had died in a car accident coming home from a business dinner in Chicago. It had been a hard move, one she had not wanted to make, and it had only been made worse at school as she had gone from class to class on her first day at Ashland Creek High because no one wanted to talk with her. All the little groups were full, and were not looking for new members. Later she realized her shyness had probably played a part as well, but at the time it was an unknown factor.
Lunch, of course, was the worst because she had nowhere to sit. Seats in a classroom didn’t really become group possessions, but lunch tables did, and if one sat at the wrong table there was generally trouble. There were open seats around the room, but none of the tables seemed that inviting. The students at each were happily talking among themselves, and did not need her to join them.
After five minutes of standing by the wall with a tray of greasy food, Tina had noticed a boy sitting alone at the end of a half-filled table. Rather than talking with the four kids on the one end he was writing something while eating an apple.
Tina debated for a few seconds on what to do, and then finally decided to sit with him.
“Mind if I join you?” she asked.
He looked up. “Um, no, go ahead.” His voice had a startled ring to it, though he did not seem at all annoyed about the interruption.
“Thank you.” She put her tray of food down and took a seat. It was a relief not to be standing.
He looked back down at his apple.
An uncomfortable silence settled.
Eventually she said, “I’m Tina. Today’s my first day.”
“Oh,” he said without looking up. “I’m Jimmy.” His fingers began peeling away the sticker on the uneaten portion of apple.
Tina thought for a second, her mind desperately wanting a conversation, yet at the same time not wanting to press him too much or ask the wrong question. “How come you’re sitting all alone?” She regretted the question before it even left her lips, yet was unable to stop its progress.
He shrugged while giving a weak smile and said, “I don’t know, I just like to I guess. It gives me time to think.”
“Oh.” Did that mean he still wanted to be alone? “But it’s okay if I sit here?”
He looked up, a partial smile forming and said, “Yeah of course, I don’t mind.”
“Good, because I don’t know anyone yet and, well, it’s hard.” She opened her hamburger while speaking and took a bite. It was awful. The bun was stale and the meat not meaty.
“Oh, well, first days are hard,” Jimmy said. “Especially in a town like this where everyone has known each other since day one.”
“I guess you were a new student too at some point?” Tina asked.
“No, no, I grew up here.”
Yet you are sitting all alone? For some reason this intrigued her, especially since he didn’t look like an outcast -- outcasts usually didn’t have muscles pushing against a normal everyday hooded sweatshirt — and the two had talked for the rest of the lunch period. After that they realized they each had gym together during the next period and walked to it while talking, and then, at the end of the day, the two stumbled upon each other again outside the building, and walked home, Jimmy and his little brother Alan showing her the way to her mother’s house, which was on the way to their own.
Now, several months later, Tina continued the debate on whether to call Jimmy and ask him to the prom. She had hoped he would do it, but apparently he wasn’t going to despite the fact that the two were good friends. Unlike most teenage girls Tina was not insulted. During their months of friendship she had learned quite a bit about Jimmy’s personality and knew he rarely worked up the effort or motivation to do anything out of the ordinary — things like talking to people he did not know, staying after to speak with a teacher if he didn’t understand something, walking a different route between classes, and asking a young pretty girl that he obviously liked very much to go with him to prom.
The debate ended.
She would have to make the move that brought their friendship to the next level.
* * *
“Sorry, Mom, I’m still full too,” Jimmy said while pushing his plate away from his seat, one which contained enough meat and potatoes to feed a starving family. “I’ll eat it tomorrow for lunch, I promise.”
Kelly Hawthorn gave her two sons a disappointed look, which she enhanced by crossing her arms, and said, “What on earth possessed you two to stuff yourself with Taco Bell so close to dinnertime?”
“It was Alan’s idea,” Jimmy said. “I didn’t want to go but he specifically said we needed to hurry over there before you got home and ruin our appetites.”
“Oh, don’t even start,” Alan playfully warned. “I just asked if you were hungry and you said yes. I didn’t force you to eat four of those cheesy crunch thingies.”
“No, you were too busy stuffing your face with supreme chalupas. Mom, you should have seen him. He stuffed himself so fast that it looked like he was getting ready to shave with the sour cream.”
Kelly shook her head and was about to say something when the phone rang.
“Battle?” Alan asked.
“Um—” Jimmy started.
“Don’t even think about playing that game until you two clean up the pans I slaved over,” Kelly said. She then answered the phone and after a second said, “Sure, one moment. Jimmy, it’s for you.”
“What? Who is it?” Jimmy asked, a puzzled look dominating his face.
“I don’t know, but it sounded like a girl.” She covered the mouthpiece. “Have you been hiding someone from us?”
“No,” Jimmy snapped. He then headed into the family room and picked up the mobile phone from the corner table near the couch. “I got it,” he shouted into the kitchen.
“Say hi to Tina for me!” Alan shouted back.
Jimmy twisted away as his mother asked who Tina was and said, “Hello?”
“Hey Jimmy. It’s Tina. Um… was that Alan?”
“Yeah, he says hi,” Jimmy said, his mind wondering why in the world she was calling. “What’s up?”
* * *
; Tina put her head back on her pillow and looked up at the ceiling, her mind a spiral of colorful excitement. She was going to the prom. Jimmy had said yes. Of course it had taken some convincing, but he had said yes, and that was all that mattered.
There was a knock on her door.
Her excitement faded. “What?”
“I’m leaving in a few minutes for my knitting group. I expect the mess from dinner to be cleaned up before I get back.”
“Then it would make sense to clean it before you leave,” Tina said.
The door rattled but did not open since Tina had thrown the lock before calling Jimmy. “Tina, open this door.”
“Why?” Tina asked, adrenaline starting to flow.
“Because I’m your mother and I told you to.” She twisted hard on the doorknob.
“Oh, you’re my mother. I didn’t realize that since you were gone for most of my life.”
“Tina, I’m warning you. Open this door right now!”
“Why?”
“Because—”
“Because you hate it when people don’t do what you say, right? Well, when Dad didn’t do what you said you walked away. Seems to me like that would be a good option now as well.”
“This is my house young lady and if you wish to live in it you will respect me.”
“I don’t wish to live in it,” Tina snapped. “And when I turn eighteen next month I’ll leave, and I’ll take all Dad’s money with me. So as far as I’m concerned you can go to your little knitting group and fuck yourself with the needles.”
Tina was surprised with the control her mother showed after that, and a little disappointed, but knew it was more a result of not wanting to keep her knitting friends waiting, not because she felt she had lost the battle.
Whatever the reason, Tina didn’t really give a shit and just counted down the seconds till her mother left. Once she did, Tina allowed her emotions to break free, the thoughts of her father unbearable right now because she knew he would have loved to see her going to the prom. She also knew he would have liked Jimmy a lot, the three of them probably having dinner quite often once the two really got to know each other.
But no. A young lady on a cell phone had made sure that would never happen, her mind too focused on the conversation to see the long line of brake lights ahead of her on Interstate 88.
Tina pressed her t-shirt to her eyes to soak up the moisture, and then went downstairs to make herself some tea. While waiting for the water to boil she did the dishes, which didn’t take long. The difficulty level of the task had never been the reason for her bitterness. Instead it had been the principle of the thing, and the fact that her mother never did the dishes herself.
Finished, and with a large mug of Darjeeling tea in hand, Tina went back up to her room and started to once again think about Jimmy and the prom, concern over their status having wiggled its way into her mind while steeping the tea bag. Were the two still just friends or more than that? Were they a couple? Would the prom be the first date in a long line of wonderful evenings together? Or would their relationship crumble because they were only meant to be friends, and wouldn’t be able to handle the dating scene together?
Answers did not follow the questions, and there was no book she could look in or website she could find that would finish the thoughts. Instead she would just have to wait and see, live life and accept whatever happened. That’s the way the world worked. Nothing would ever change it.
* * *
Samantha King’s hands grew itchy as the blood flowing to them slowed. Cramps had developed in the backs of both her legs and now she was sagging forward and biting her teeth together waiting for them to pass. The pain was intense and unrelenting.
The general ache that had developed in her back and shoulder muscles added to the misery, no doubt due to the position she was standing in. It wasn’t natural for someone to have their arms raised upward and their body pulled tight for such a long time, and with each second that passed it grew more and more unbearable.
Her mind conjured the image of Moses from her old Sunday school classes and how he had stood with his arms raised in the air so the Hebrews could win a battle. How had he managed?
Slumped forward as far as the bindings would let her, Samantha stared at the floor. Her mind could not get a grip on the situation and seemed a mess of random thoughts and ideas. Hours had passed with her standing in silence, and every second it seemed like she was slipping closer and closer to hysteria.
Why would Jimmy do this?
It was the only clear thought that repeated itself over and over again, and seemed to be the only hold on reality due to the fact that she had to picture him in a real world setting to try and grasp the reasons behind his actions toward her.
Thinking about him was also a good way to pass the time, though she wondered what exactly she was waiting for. Generally one wanted time to pass quickly because something good was coming at a certain hour and they couldn’t wait for its arrival. With her present situation there was no guarantee of anything good happening, and each second that passed might only be bringing her toward some terrible end. Or even worse — terrible moments of utter humiliation and pain before the end.
Why did Jimmy do this?
Images of Jimmy over the years began to play across her mind like a slide show; Jimmy in grade school, middle school and high school came and went; memories of seeing him at the movies with his parents or at some restaurant; memories of him sitting in a classroom, at a lunch table, in an assembly; memories of him walking the hallways, or the sidewalks, or through the parking lot; memories of him everywhere. What was crazy about the images she saw was the knowledge that in each situation she hadn’t really given him any thought once her mind had put a name to the figure she was seeing, or had any fear of him harming her, yet look at what he had been capable of during that time? It was mind numbing.
Thoughts about what had happened broke through the slide show. The attack wasn’t even twenty four hours old, yet the actual events and how they had unfolded were already cloudy within her mind. The possible outcomes, however, was not.
Anger at herself for not fighting back followed these thoughts. Being surprised was no excuse. She should have done something to prevent the current situation. Fingernails to the face, a knee to the balls, or a backpack to the side of the head — all could have been avenues of escape, yet she hadn’t set a single foot down any of those possible routes. It was incredibly frustrating.
The thought of defending herself against Jimmy brought to mind some of the incidents she had witnessed in the past. There had been times during Jimmy’s school day life when he had been the victim of bigger kids. No solid memories were present, but she did remember some fuzzy details of either seeing or hearing about fights where Jimmy had gotten beaten up.
Not that it mattered now. A memory of Jimmy being beaten up didn’t help her out in any way, and thinking about it was just a pleasant waste of time.
Pain suddenly raced through her arms and all thoughts of Jimmy disappeared. She stood up fast, her toes shouting in protest, and tried lifting her arms up to a point where the ropes wouldn’t have such a tight hold. The result was a fiery tingle throughout her hands that caused her fingers to squeeze into fists.
She clamped her teeth together.
It did little to stop the agony.
The terrible pins and needles that had exploded in her hands did disappear after a few minutes, but that was only a small relief when compared to the rest of the pain her body was enduring, and would continue to endure until her hands were free.
* * *
“She asked you?” Alan said as they sat down to watch a rerun of That 70’s Show before playing Goldeneye. “Why’d you let her do that?”
“What do you mean?” Jimmy asked.
“Why didn’t you ask her?” Alan stared at his older brother while saying this and noted that he seemed to be both excited and upset. It was a strange mixture that produced a strange expression. Confu
sed was probably the best word for it.
Jimmy shrugged. “I didn’t realize she liked me, and what if she said no when I asked?”
Alan shook his head. “Didn’t like you?” He couldn’t believe it. “You two sit at lunch with each other and walk home with each other almost every freakin’ day. She’s had more of a crush on you than a boa constrictor could ever achieve.” Alan had come up with the metaphor several days earlier, yet hadn’t been able to use it in any conversations. Now that he had, he wondered if it really had been as clever as he had initially thought it would be.
Jimmy didn’t comment on it. “What if she just liked walking home with me? What if by asking her out I ruined the friendship we already had? What if—”
Alan couldn’t take it. His older brother questioned everything too much, and at the same time didn’t see the huge signs people were leaving him. A girl could come up to him and say, “You wanna come over tonight, my parents are out of town and I’m just dying to get your opinion on some new sexy lingerie I bought,” and he wouldn’t realize she wanted sex and would spend several minutes giving her real honest opinions on the lingerie and then head home. “What if she wanted to go out with you, liked you so much that you both got serious and then eventually married, and then had a wonderful family. Better yet, what if through her family she found you a great job that paid a lot and you both became millionaires?”
Jimmy looked down at his hands.
Alan had hit a sore spot without meaning to. In addition to being shy around girls, Jimmy seemed unable to find a job or get any college acceptances. The problem wasn’t a lack of skills or grades, but a lack of confidence, which prevented him from sending in applications or making calls or taking trips to see what was out there. Hell, Jimmy probably wouldn’t even have gotten his driver’s licenses if he hadn’t done well enough in the course to take the test as school, because he never would have gotten together enough motivation to drive an hour to the DMV. It was ridiculous.
The opening music from That 70’s Show came on and calmed the room. Alan recognized the episode. Eric’s hot cousin Penny was coming to stay with them and would trick him into believing she was adopted so she could lure him into a trap in front of his parents. It was a good one.
Jimmy Page 2