by Aubrey Dark
“Yeah, you did how many paintings last month?” Rachel asked, stabbing a carrot into the hummus. “Like, three dozen or something?”
“More than that,” I admitted.
“That’s a heck of a lot of work!”
“It’s not…” I struggled for the words. “It feels like I’m a charity case.”
“You’re not, babe,” Steph said, patting my hand on the table. “You’re just a very lucky girl.”
“Who happens to have a sexy billionaire giving her foot massages.”
“Alright, I get it,” I said. “ I just wish I could be the one selling my art, instead of the one holding myself back.”
“Just fake it until you make it,” Steph said. “Don’t let him know about the next person who comes along wanting your art. Then when you talk to him, you can show him that you know what you’re talking about.”
Rachel nodded as she crunched a bite of the carrot.
“Sometimes that’s the easiest thing to do—take charge of the situation yourself. You can do it,” she said.
“I know. That’s what you did with your bakery, right, Steph?”
Steph burst out with a peal of laughter. He blond ponytail shook behind her.
“Honey, that business is held together with fondant and a prayer. Never mind. Don’t take my business advice.”
“What about you, Rachel?” I asked.
“What about me?” she asked.
“Don’t you want to move here to become a singer?”
“Sure.”
“So why don’t you? Is NYC too expensive?”
“No, it’s not that.” Rachel looked down at her plate. “It’s my family. The farm is hurting, and my mom hasn’t been able to take care of a lot of things ever since, you know, she got sick.”
Rachel’s mom had been showing more and more signs of Alzheimers. I didn’t know that it had gotten so bad, though.
“It wouldn’t be so bad, but they’re competing against those huge mega-corporations, and they don’t care about anything but driving everyone out of business. They offer lower prices just to kill off the small businesses, and then they buy up all the land and raise prices right back. Lather, rinse, repeat.”
“Gosh,” I said. “That sounds horrible.”
“Your family doesn’t have the same problem?” Rachel asked.
“Well, it’s different with corn,” I said. “The roughest problem is the drought. It’s not cheap to get water in Iowa. Or anywhere, I suppose. California has it worst right now. But the corporations do the same thing with the land, just use it up and go buy more. They don’t do anything sustainably, and they ruin the soil.”
“Ugh,” Rachel said.
“Right? It’s like they don’t care at all about what happens in the future.”
“Exactly. And as much as I want to think about being a singer in a jazz band in NYC,” she continued, “I can’t think about my own future. My family comes first.”
“Maybe that’s what’s wrong with Jake,” Steph said, turning back to me.
“What?”
“I mean, he doesn’t have a family. Not to be brutal about it, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t know what a couple is supposed to act like, since he didn’t have a mom and dad.”
“Yeah, I suppose.”
“He doesn’t realize that love is more than just blowjobs in limousines.”
“Steph!”
“Well? I’m right, aren’t I?”
“Love isn’t only blowjobs in limousines,” I said. “But yeah, I guess that could be it.”
Rachel shifted uncomfortably in her seat at the mention of blowjobs. As innocent as I had been before Jake got to me, Rachel was even more naïve in the world of sex. I wondered what it would take to bring her to New York to follow her dreams.
“You guys will figure it out, I’m sure,” Rachel said.
“Sure you will,” Steph said. “He’s head over heels about you. Just give it some time.”
I nodded and sipped my wine as we moved onto other topics, but I couldn’t help but think that Jake was leaving tonight. I didn’t have much time left at all.
Chapter Eight
I took the elevator up to the apartment and breathed in deeply. I wanted to apologize to Jake and talk to him about how I felt. But when the elevator doors opened, I was greeted by an empty apartment. A trail of rose petals led from the elevator down the hallway.
Rose petals?
There was a small slip of paper on the ground amid the petals. I bent down and plucked it off of the floor.
“I’m sorry about earlier.” It read. “Let me make it up to you.”
I walked down the hallway, kicking my shoes off as I went. The rose petals led down the wooden floorboards all the way to the bathroom. A thick plush bathrobe hung on the door. From one of the pockets, a note peeked out.
“Take your time getting ready for dinner. I want you to be COMPLETELY relaxed.”
Inside the dim bathroom, a steaming hot tub greeted me, candles flickering around the edges of the water. There was a bottle of red wine next to the tub, one glass already poured. Soft piano music trickled from the speakers overhead.
I smiled and stripped off my clothes to step into the tub.
Ahhhh. I needed a long hot soak to relax my muscles. The hot water was scented slightly with vanilla oil. I let the water seep over me, imagining it soaking into my skin, deep into my bones.
As I lay in the tub, I thought about Rachel wanting to move to New York City to become a singer. Her parents were the same as mine—farmers trying to survive. And seeing her again made me feel like I had abandoned my family for a life that was empty of meaning.
Did my paintings mean anything?
Jake said that he liked my paintings, but maybe all of this was a grand romantic gesture. He gave me a studio, he gave me a gallery, and he gave me all of his art clients. What on earth did I bring to the table?
I wondered about my own parents. Dad never did anything romantic like this for mom. The most romantic things he ever did was waking up early to milk Gerri Sue so that mom could have fresh cream and strawberries for breakfast. Those strawberries…
I remembered my dad offering a strawberry to mom. Feeding her. I was such a tomboy back then. I’d groaned at the sight of my mom and dad in the thralls of a romantic moment. Now, I realized how sweet he’d been. It was the simplest thing in the world, and it had meant so much. It was such a romantic gesture. I thought of them as equals, equally unromantic but equally loving. They both worked hard on the farm.
I wasn’t an equal to Jake. Not even close.
Letting myself slide down farther into the tub, I tried to make all of my doubtful thoughts melt away with the steam. I took a sip of the wine and let my anxieties bubble away…
Nearly an hour later, I got out of the tub, sighing. The wine glass was empty, and I stood up dizzy from the heat and the alcohol.
I opened the bathroom door and stopped in my tracks. The red rose petals that had been leading to the bathroom door were gone. In their place was another trail of petals, smaller white ones.
I bent down and picked one up. Star jasmine. I sniffed it, letting the aroma waft through my nostrils. There was another note, too, on the floor.
Roses are boring, and you’re anything but. Get dressed and come see me…
“Jake?” I called out. There was no answer. He must be here, somewhere in the apartment. I thought briefly about going to find him. But he’d told me to get dressed, and I wanted to find him in a good mood. That meant following orders.
There was a dress on the bed, a pale blue sheath of chiffon and silk. It was backless, with a built in bra. Nice. I pulled it over my head, the fabric wisping along my skin. Pale blue sandals completed the outfit, with only a slight heel. Jake’s tastes were beginning to match my own, I supposed. Or maybe he was just realizing that when I wore heels, I waddled around like one of those hippos from Fantasia.
At my dresser, I opened the top drawer. To my surprise, i
t was empty except for a single note:
No underwear.
“Fine,” I said aloud, the beginning of a smile creeping up my cheek. “Have it your way.”
Chapter Nine
The trail of star jasmine led all the way back to the hall. I walked quickly, knowing as the trail turned the corner where Jake was leading me.
The mirrored room.
I saw it outside the door before I saw his note. Put it on, then knock.
It was the diamond-studded collar he’d offered me before. When I’d seen all of the women at Jake’s birthday party wearing collars, my first reaction had been disgust. Who would let themselves be led around like a pet? Like a dog?
Now, though, I picked up the collar and held it in my hand gently, turning it. My heart fluttered. He’d told me that for me, the collar meant that he possessed me, heart and soul. That he would take care of me as long as I was his.
Did I want to be his?
I did. My anger from before had subsided. I wanted Jake, and I wanted to be his equal someday.
I slid the collar around my neck and clasped it shut. Then I knocked slightly on the door. My heartbeat began to pound faster as I waited for him to open up the room for me. His secret room, the place where I’d learned more about myself than I ever wanted to know. Where I’d learned about him, about his family.
He opened the door and I looked up into dark green eyes that dazzled me just as much as the first time I’d seen his face. My breath caught in my throat as he reached out and trailed his fingertips down my neck to where the diamond collar fit nicely around my neck.
“Lacey,” he murmured.
“Don’t you have to get ready?” I asked shyly. “I mean, aren’t you leaving for Paris tonight?”
He waved away my concerns with one hand. Then, hooking his finger under my collar, he led me into the room.
“Business is business,” he said, picking up a leash from the side. “You come first.”
Before I could say anything, he’d clicked the end of the leash to my collar. It was a strange leash, heavy, with extra straps. I reached up to touch it.
“What… what is this?”
“Leather cuffs,” he said. He had one of my hands encircled in a moment, pulling the strap tight around my wrist. Then he did the other one. I didn’t protest, but as I let my arms drop, I realized that my wrists were strapped closely to my neck. I couldn’t reach down to protect myself at all.
I was entirely at his mercy.
He smiled as he noticed the realization come into my eyes.
“Don’t worry, my dear,” he said. “Haven’t I always been good to you?”
“Some people might say that kidnapping me away from my job and spanking me red isn’t… ah, exactly good.”
“Are you one of those people? I seem to remember you rather liked being put over my knee.”
I flushed hard. At the memory of that first night, I felt my body begin to throb in anticipation.
“What are we doing tonight?” I asked, trying to be bold.
Jake only smiled slowly.
“I’m going to take you places you’ve never gone before,” he said. He pulled the leash and jerked me forward. I raised my hands as I stumbled against his chest. His hand wrapped the other end of the leash tight and he brushed my lip with his thumb.
“I’m going to show you a new world of pleasure, Lacey,” he murmured. My body was hot already with desire, my core thrumming inside.
“What are you going to do to me?” I asked, lifting my chin as his fingers slid down my cheekbone.
“Part of the pleasure lies in not knowing what comes next.”
“If I guess, will you tell me?”
“Maybe.” His bright green eyes danced with pleasure. He turned and walked to the back of the room, where the mirror curved along one side of the wall. On the other end of the short leash, I was forced to follow closely. He hooked the end of the leash above my head to a clip hanging from the rafters. Then he turned away from me, moving into the darkness.
My wrists were close to my neck, and I had no idea what he was going to do. The ache of desire pulsed within me, every heartbeat making my blood hotter. I could already feel his touch dissipating from my skin.
“I guess you’re going to stand there for a while and stare at me like a creepy perv,” I said. Jake’s face was hidden in the shadows, and I felt like I was being put on display in the only light of the room. I could see my own reflection out of the corner of my eyes.
Jake stepped forward, and I could see that he had something in his hand. A small object, something I couldn’t see well.
“Turn and look at yourself,” he ordered. His deep voice brooked no disobedience. He pressed one shoulder and I turned, letting my eyes fall onto my own reflection. I looked at the lovely blue gown shimmering over my curves. Then my gaze moved up, past my own shoulder, to Jake’s eyes.
“Not me,” he said. “Look only at yourself.”
“Okay,” I said. I forced my eyes back onto my own body. I had hated my body for so long that it almost hurt to stare at it. I covered myself in loose-fitting jeans and hoodies to the point where I had forgotten what I looked like.
“Look at your arms,” Jake said. He stood behind me. His hands moved down over my shoulders, smoothing over my skin. He cupped my elbows, then ran his fingertips up to my wrists, where the leather cuffs still bound them close to my neck. “What do you see?”
If I spoke honestly, I would talk about the extra flab where my arms touched my chest and bulged out. I would talk about the dimpled flesh of my elbows, the too-thick parts of me. But I knew that wasn’t what Jake wanted to hear. So I just shook my head.
“Do you know what I see?” he asked. His mouth was near my ear. I trembled.
“I see this pale flesh,” he said, tracing a thumb in circles down my arm. “Look at the color, so perfect. Like mother of pearl. There’s pink and white softness. There’s the small flecks of darkness, your darling freckles.”
He bent his head and kissed my arm. I shook with tension. His dark hair fell over my skin.
“Jake—”
“Watch.”
He turned me around so that I stood sideways. Bending down, he lifted the hem of my dress. The silken fabric bunched in his hand.
“Watch yourself,” Jake said. “Tell me the colors.”
I watched. It was hard to tear my eyes away from the handsome man in a suit kneeling down behind me, but I did my best. My legs emerged from under the dress. I tried to see what Jake had seen. Creamy skin, softness and smooth curves.
“Cream,” I said, wanting to obey him. “Cream and white. Paler white on that scar next to my knee where I fell climbing Iowa’s only tree.”
Jake pushed my dress up farther, exposing my ass. All I could think about, though, was how much I wanted his fingers inside of me. I wanted him to be undressing himself, not me.
Suddenly, he brought his hand down on my bare asscheek. I jumped, startled out of my thoughts.
“Watch,” Jake murmured. His fingers grazed over the hot handmark on my ass.
“Red,” I said, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Bright red. White around the edges.”
“They say red roses are the color of love,” Jake said.
“Do you love me?” I asked. I was only half-sassing. Jake brought his hand down on my ass again. I squealed as the heat from his blow spread through my body. I twisted, but the collar held me tightly upwards.
“I’ll turn you red all over if you let me,” Jake said. “Now watch yourself. I want you to see yourself how I see you.”
Without another word, he forced my legs apart. I only had a moment to register what was happening before his tongue thrust between my thighs to where I was already slick with desire.
An explosion of sensation burst through me. I tried to reach down with my hands, but they were cuffed up at my throat to the collar. I couldn’t reach him.
“Ahh!” I cried out as Jake swiped again with his tongue, s
ending a fresh set of thrills through my nerves.
He kissed me, licking and sucking. He gripped my thighs with his strong hands, kneading at the muscles just under my asscheeks. I groaned with pleasure.
“What color?” he asked. With a single lick at my sex, I shivered. I knew exactly what he was talking about.
“Pink.”
“Better,” he said. He pressed his face back down between my legs.
Pink, I’d said. Now, though, I could only see darkness. The dark brown, almost black, of his hair. The dark charcoal gray of his suit. When I closed my eyes, darkness.
Small touches, his fingers dipping into me. A light friction along my most sensitive flesh. His touches sent me into spasms as he worked my swollen flesh to its limit. I was sick with desire, but at the last moment he would always pull away.
He thrust his tongue into me and I screamed. I needed more.
“What color?”
He spread me open and I nearly screamed as the cool air rushed over me. I wanted him inside of me, needed him.
“R—red,” I gasped.
“Perfect.”
He unclipped my leash from the hook above and I collapsed against him, my legs trembling. Without hesitation, he swept me up from the ground and carried me the few steps to the bed.
He threw me down. My hands were still cuffed, and I landed on my stomach awkwardly. I tried to roll over, but he pushed me back over and spanked me.
“Ah!”
“In here, you don’t question my decisions. You’re under my control, understood?”
I nodded silently. Anything. He could do anything, just so long as he quenched this raging need inside of my body.
“Stand up.”
I stood on weak knees. He wouldn’t leave me like this, would he? I was about to burst with desire. My dress fell back down, concealing my aching flesh. I was wet, so wet for him.
He uncuffed my wrists and took my collar off. He handed me something else. It took my dizzy mind a few moments to process it.
“A blindfold?”
“Put it on,” he said. “We’re going out to dinner.”
Chapter Ten
Under the blindfold, I had to trust Jake completely. He was at my side for every moment. His hand pressed my elbow, leading me down the hallway. Soon I was able to match his stride, and I followed him as easily as if I’d been walking on my own.