Unable to help herself, she ran her fingers through his hair and rose up on tiptoe. Pressed her breasts against the muscles of his chest, and heard him groan. Damn, but she’d missed him.
He grasped her closer still and plundered her mouth, dominating and persuasive.
Liz clutched his shoulders, wanting nothing more than to go to bed with him. But she couldn’t go forward without looking back in time first. She couldn’t be that reckless again. Not without getting hurt.
She moaned, this time in protest, and pushed him away.
As much as she wanted him—and she did—she couldn’t let herself be sucked back into the emotional whirlwind of a tryst with him unless she knew what had really happened years ago. And whether it would happen again.
Breathlessly, she stepped back and forced herself to stare into his charcoal-gray eyes. “I want the truth, Travis,” she said. “Why did you really break up with me?”
Travis looked surprised, as if that was the last thing he’d imagined her asking. She absorbed his deepening frown.
“I know what you said at the time,” Liz continued, wishing she hadn’t blurted out the question that had nagged at her forever, or let herself be so vulnerable again.
She swallowed and pushed on. “That I was still in high school and you were going off to college. Our age difference was too great. We weren’t what each other needed.”
But you were what I wanted—and needed, she thought plaintively.
Travis stepped into her space. “There was also the fact we were both so busy we hardly ever saw each other.”
His goals again.
And hers.
“Would it have made a difference if I had been more open to…you know…”
“Climbing into the back of a car with me?”
Liz flushed.
“I was eighteen. My hormones were raging. But…” he sighed “…I was also smart enough to know that in that regard we were definitely not in the same place.”
“So you left.”
“Because we were way too young to be thinking about getting serious.” His smile came, sure and slow. “And sleeping with you then, Liz, even working up to it, however incrementally, would have meant getting very serious.”
And that, she thought, would have meant they would have indulged in a lot more than simply kissing good-night at the end of their dates.
All of a sudden the kitchen felt hot and close.
Liz ducked out the back door, into the spring night. The cool April air was damp and scented with the smells of fresh cut grass, and the flowers her great-grandmother had planted in the half barrels next to the house.
Liz stared out at the pasture and the clouds moving rapidly overhead.
It was going to rain. She could feel it in the air, and the cattle knew it, too. The cows were already nudging their calves toward the sheltering trees along the fence.
Liz folded her arms in front of her and held her chin high when Travis joined her. “I admit I wasn’t ready for more....” Wasn’t ready to completely risk my heart. Not then. Not now.
He grasped her hips and pulled her close, and she swallowed. “So when you sat me down to have that talk, and broke up with me, I just accepted it as the logical thing to do—even though my gut told me there was more to your decision than what you said. But now…” she dropped her forehead to his chest “…I really need to understand.”
Travis ran one hand up and down her spine. Sifted the other through her hair. He pressed his forehead to hers, reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “When we first got together, I thought we were the same. Part of it was because of your family. Cartwright women are notorious for not wanting or needing a relationship with a man to be happy.”
Liz tilted her head to one side. “Andersons are just as independent.”
He grinned, not about to argue. “The rest had to deal with the fact that we both were very ambitious.” He let her go and stepped back. “We both wanted to be lawyers. We both worked hard in school and on our ranches.” His lips compressed in a wry, self-effacing smile.
“I thought we’d be able to date casually and have a good time and that when it came time for me to go off to college, you and I would part as friends.”
“And yet when it actually came time for you to leave…”
He flashed a wry smile. “I realized it wasn’t that simple.”
Liz waited, sensing there was more.
Travis exhaled sharply. “Because of my relationship with you, I was losing focus.” He paused, his expression matter-of-fact. “I knew that if we were going to achieve our dreams, we needed to finish growing up and to pursue our goals with the single-minded dedication we were both known for.”
“So you have no regrets,” Liz ascertained, not surprised, but disappointed nevertheless.
Because she had regrets. About all the things she hadn’t said. Or done…
Travis slowly, patiently closed the distance between them once more. “About what I did then? No. No regrets.” His gaze ardently traced her face, lingering on each feature in turn. He rubbed his thumb across her lip, absorbing the dewy moisture from their kiss. “It was the right decision for both of us at that time.” His expression gentled. “But now—now is a different situation entirely.”
Liz knew she should keep her distance.
Travis had crushed her dreams once and would surely do so again, when they found themselves in a different place. But as he pulled her against him, lowered his head and kissed her deeply, her will to fight faded as quickly as it had appeared.
Being with him like this felt like the most natural thing in the world. It felt right. So right, that with a little bit of luck, and more maturity… She opened her mouth to his, stroking his tongue with hers. With unrestrained passion, she surged against him, tempted by his warmth and his strength.
Travis responded, seeming to promise that if she dared give them another chance, the second time around would be so much sweeter and more fulfilling....
And that was when the sound of car engines came to their awareness and a blinding beam of light swept over them.
Embarrassed to be caught in a clinch, Liz broke off the impetuous kiss and stepped back. She lifted her arm to shield her eyes.
Silence reigned once again as the motors were cut, the headlamps faded.
Tillie and Faye Elizabeth got out of the sedan. Reba climbed down from the Four Winds Ranch pickup.
Hoping to divert their attention, and feel less like a reckless teenager caught in a heated clinch, Liz stepped forward. “What are you doing home so early?” Ignoring the tingling of her lips, she pretended a nonchalance she couldn’t begin to feel. “I thought you were staying late, to play cards.”
Tillie sighed. “Reba asked about an afghan crocheted by J.T.’s late wife, and that was all it took to get him upset. He asked us to leave, so we did.”
Liz winced. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“J.T. wants you to call him first thing, for an update about his rezoning request,” her mother added.
No doubt he would be as irascible as ever, too. “I’ll take care of it,” she promised as the first spattering of raindrops landed on her head.
Faye Elizabeth put up a hand to shield her hair, and headed for the door. “Coming in?” she asked Liz.
The invitation was clearly not extended to Travis.
“In a minute,” she promised.
Over her shoulder, her grandmother warned, “Don’t stay out here too long. We don’t want you getting soaked to the skin.”
Tillie followed her daughter. “Travis is such a gentleman. I am sure he won’t let that happen.”
“As long as something does,” Reba teased.
The three elder Cartwrights disappeared inside the house.
Chagrined, Liz turned to Travis.
The two of them ducked beneath the roof of the back porch. “Sorry about that.” She flushed.
Travis turned to face her and propped one shoulder against the limesto
ne ranch house. “Score two for us resuming a relationship,” he remarked.
Was that what he thought it was? Liz wondered, both excited by the notion and distressed by the arrogance of the assumption.
Rain fell in fat drops, splattering on the grass and scenting the air.
“One against,” Travis continued.
Sadly, there was no saving either of them from Faye Elizabeth’s disapproval.
“That pretty much sums it up.” Liz sighed.
“The real question is—” Travis drew her close enough to feel his body heat “—what do you want?”
Liz knew she didn’t want a fling. Marriage—or even the hope of anything permanent and long-lasting—scared her, since love never worked out for Cartwright women. The odds of finding any middle ground were just as poor.
To spare them both further discomfort and embarrassment, she concentrated on what they could easily discuss. “I want the Four Winds Ranch to thrive again.” Liz paused to take a deep, enervating breath. “So I’d prefer the two of us to concentrate on accomplishing that.”
“THANK HEAVENS it finally stopped raining,” Reba remarked when Travis walked into the ranch house kitchen the next morning.
“An inch or two at a time is good,” he said.
“Much more than that and we start having problems with all sorts of things, like flooding,” she stated.
Fortunately, the creeks and rivers weren’t high enough to make that a problem anytime soon, Travis thought.
“And debris-clogged creek beds.” Reba motioned for him to have a seat at the table, treating him like the “family” she hoped he would become. At least long enough to give her a grandbaby. “Speaking of overgrowth…we have to do something soon about the way the cedar and scrub are taking over the southern part of the ranch.”
“I agree,” Travis said as Liz walked in, dressed in an indigo business suit and ivory shell. With a leather business carryall looped over her shoulder, and her red hair drawn back in a knot at the nape of her neck, she looked elegant—and aloof. And he wanted nothing more than to get her horizontal again....
“Morning, all,” she said briskly, oblivious to the sensual nature of his thoughts.
Travis knew the way the previous evening ended had been his fault. In trying to make up for lost time and opportunity, he had pushed her too fast, too hard. Not surprisingly, she had become overwhelmed and put on the brakes. It was up to him to start over, and this time proceed at a pace she could accept. Would she give him a chance?
Liz took her travel mug off the rack.
Faye Elizabeth frowned in concern. “Please tell me you’re going to take the time to have breakfast.”
Liz’s spine stiffened defensively. A hint of pink stole into her cheeks, making her look even prettier.
“I wish I could, but I really need to get to the office.”
“Nonsense.” Reba narrowed her eyes, declaring, “You can stay for five minutes and talk ranch business with us.”
Tillie smiled and, trying a softer approach, handed Liz one of her famous, freshly baked triple-chocolate scones. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”
Liz gave her great-grandmother a look. Everyone there knew pastries were one of her weaknesses.
“Five minutes,” she said, reluctantly sitting in the only vacant chair, the one directly opposite Travis.
Appreciating the view, but also concerned for Liz’s well-being, and not about to delay her unnecessarily, Travis said, “Back to the scrub and cedar overtaking the southern part of the ranch. I’d be happy to start clearing that for you.”
Reba hunted for the bottle of ibuprofen and shook some into her hand. “I’m looking at a more long-term solution to the problem.”
Liz tensed, as if she knew what was coming next.
Her mother swallowed a couple of pills and continued, “You can run about five goats per acre, and they’ll keep it clear of brush. All you have to do is supplement them with feed and move them around, from one rocky, overgrown patch to another.”
Travis suddenly understood why Liz was unhappy. The women couldn’t handle the livestock they had. To bring on more, for whatever reason, would only add to the burden.
Tillie handed Travis a bowl of fresh strawberries and blueberries. “Your folks don’t have any goats, do they?”
“No, ma’am.” Wondering if there was anything he could do to help Liz without overstepping his bounds, he helped himself to a generous serving of the succulent fruit. “They’ve got their hands full with my mom’s horses and my dad’s cattle.”
Faye Elizabeth passed the platter of scrambled eggs and breakfast sausages. “They also have half a dozen cowboys in their employ, to run their tractors.”
“If you want, I could see about borrowing equipment and a few hands from my parents, to help us get caught up,” Travis offered.
Insulted, Faye Elizabeth countered stiffly, “We’re not asking for charity.”
Liz picked up her empty plate and pushed back her chair. “I think the concern is how we’re going to get by when you leave.”
Ouch. Travis looked at Liz.
“We have to come up with a system that works with what resources we have now, and are liable to still have when the time comes and you move on.”
Ouch again, Travis thought, noting Liz would not meet his eyes. Although he supposed she’d made a fair point.
Once his suspension was lifted, he would not be the chief hired hand here. And he had the sense they would not have the funds to hire much of a replacement, if any.
“What’s your opinion on the subject?” he asked Liz, taking his plate to the sink, too. “Goats or no goats?”
She moved several inches to the left, to keep their bodies from touching, and continued avoiding his eyes.
So she was upset about the possibility—make that probability—of his leaving.
Oddly enough, Travis realized, he felt a little dejected about it, too. Although why…
It wasn’t as if they would never see each other.
There was no way he was allowing them to lose contact again.
Liz inhaled and moved away from the sink. “Whether or not the ranch gets goats isn’t for me to say.”
“Of course it is!” the other three Cartwright women said in unison, heartily encouraging her. “You’re part of the Four Winds Ranch, too.”
“I’m not disputing my heritage,” Liz retorted, looking a little pale and a lot exhausted.
In the sunlight streaming through the windows, Travis could see stress tightening the corners of her lips, and disillusionment in her eyes.
There was too much pressure on her.
She picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder. “I have no thoughts on the matter,” Liz stated mildly.
Sidestepping an argument was not the way to handle the women in her family. Avoiding the conflict would just make it harder for her later on.
Travis leaned back against the counter, hands braced on either side of him, and deliberately took Liz on. “I don’t believe that,” he drawled, and saw her brow arch.
He met her gaze and continued, “You have an opinion on goats. And probably everything else around here. You’re just not willing to state it, because that would mean taking yourself off the sidelines of running the ranch.” And force you to take a stand on the family matters that are currently driving you crazy.
Liz had been looking a little pale. At his unsolicited remark, color came rushing back into her face. She gave him a withering glare that made him smile, and set her briefcase down with a thud. Giving him a glance that told him she would deal with him later, in private, she pivoted back to her family. “You-all want to know what I think?”
The three women nodded, eager to hear.
“Years ago, when all four of us were working the cattle together, we birthed a thousand calves a year and backgrounded another thousand more for other ranches. But that’s not possible anymore. Because of the physical limitations we currently operate
under, we’ve let the calving operation dwindle, and let our own backgrounding operation end entirely. We sell our cattle to another outfit as soon as they’re weaned, at seven or eight months.” She took a breath. “If we want the Four Winds to prosper the way it once did, we are going to have to build it back up. Take good care of all ten thousand acres, instead of just the ones we use. Like it or not, that involves bringing men into our operation. Full-time.”
“Men are not part of Cartwright family tradition,” Faye Elizabeth interrupted. “Not any who stay, anyway.”
Triple ouch, Travis thought.
With a world of emotion in her low voice, Liz countered, “How well I know that. I love you all.” Her lower lip trembled in a way that made him want to haul her into his arms and comfort her, audience or no audience.
Liz spread her arms wide. “I love the Four Winds. And I even love ranching—in small doses. But not enough to do it full-time. And that’s not going to change.”
Travis noted Reba’s expression was extremely unhappy.
Faye Elizabeth was more accepting of the outburst, perhaps because she was by nature more of a pessimist. She shook her head. “I always knew it would come to this.”
Travis thought having Liz finally speak her mind and stand up for herself was the best thing he’d heard in weeks.
Tillie rose and walked over to put her arm around Liz’s shoulders. “Running a ranch has lost its allure in this day and age,” she sympathized. “That I know.”
“That may be true,” Reba said. She turned to her only daughter. “And one day we may very well have to let our cattle raising operation go entirely.”
Liz’s expression gentled. “You wouldn’t necessarily have to sell. There are other ways to make money from these ten thousand acres. We could give out hunting leases, for example.”
Deciding to play devil’s advocate, Travis added, “Or see if there is any oil to be had.”
All four women stared at him.
Or maybe not…
Liz’s great-grandmother stepped in, as only the matriarch of the family could. “There’s no doubt we could change our whole way of life and still keep this property. But you would miss the Four Winds you grew up on,” Tillie told Liz, with her usual romanticism.
The Reluctant Texas Rancher (Harlequin American Romance) Page 9