You Can Always Go Home

by Rogers, Desiree

  He got up, wandering around the room until he stopped to look out the window, “The day I met you, it was like a light had gone off. That hole wasn’t so big anymore.”

  “Oh sweetheart...” Sharise moved towards him, but stopped when he turned to look at her, his eyes dim.

  He held up his hand, “I knew I was ready to try again, I was willing to risk it or at least part of it. I didn’t tell Alexina because I didn’t want to lose her too. I know it’s stupid, that I really just pushed her away, but it was the only thing I could think of. I wouldn’t have been able to take losing her too. She’s all I’ve got left of that life and to be honest, she’s what keeps me sane.”

  Sharise stared at him, surprised at his words. “Peyton...”

  “I’m not saying you and Marlyn aren’t important, you are, but she’s my first daughter, all that’s left of a great time in my life.”

  This time, she did walk to him, wrapping him in her open arms. She smiled into his head when nestled into the crook of her neck. “You need to tell her this. She needs to hear it.”

  He shook his head, body weary from everything. “I can’t. She’s so closed off, so full of hurt. It’ll just make it worse.”

  An exasperated sigh filled the room and she pulled back, watching him with a withering look, “Why do you think she’s like that?”

  Chapter Fifteen

  It had been two days since her father had left and she’d barely slept in that time. He hadn’t even called to tell her he was leaving. Sharise had called her as they’d pulled into the airport. The sting at her conscience by the stilted tone of her stepmother’s voice had been unbearable. All this time and she’d been angry with the wrong person. To be honest, she’d never really been mad, just distraught and miserable at the prospect of being left out, of losing the only parent she had left. Now, it looked as that nightmare was going to come true.

  Deciding that she would have better luck at her store, Alexina had headed in, needing to get work done. She was in the middle of putting clothes on a rack when a knock on the window caught her attention. surprise and wariness spread through her to see Luc’s sister standing there, looking smart in a herringbone tube dress and sky high shoes. She wondered idly if she would be able to get a dress like hers for the store.

  Guarded about what was going to happen, she let her in.

  Jayne stepped past her, taking in everything around her. “It looks like it’s coming along.”

  Alexina nodded, crossing her arms. “Thanks.”

  The other woman stepped around her, heading over to the pile of clothes that she’d been working on. She held up a pair of pinstriped Capri’s, shaking them out. “These are cute. Makes me almost want to gain weight.”

  Shifting, Alexina looked at her feet. “Uh...thanks. Is there something I can help you with?” She peered up at Jayne, unsure of the look in her eyes.

  She studied her out of the corner of her eye, moving through half full racks. “Luciano’s been in a snit the past two days, all sullen and dark.”

  Taken aback, Alexina let her arms drop. Great, now she had angry family members coming after her. Not that she didn’t deserve it for the way she’d shut down on Luc. “Ah...I don’t think–”

  “You know, Luciano is usually pretty laid back, hardly letting anything get to him. Lately though...he’s been moody and grumpy and a general pain in the ass.” Jayne moved to another rack, rifling through the clothes there. Alexina knew she wasn’t really looking at anything, just keeping her hands busy, trying to distract.

  “This really-“

  Jayne moved back to stand in front of her, head cocked to the side. “How do you feel about him?”

  Alexina chocked at the question, taken aback by the bluntness of it. “Huh...Excuse me?” There was an answer she’d been struggling with. How did she feel about him? She knew she loved him, knew that it had always been him, but was she ready to take the plunge again? With all the baggage she had, would it be fair to either of them? The little scene from her father’s visit was still fresh in her mind and she blinked past it. “That’s really...it’s kinda awkward and I’m not sure I should talking to you about it.”

  They stared at each other, before Jayne broke the contact, shrugging, “He’s my brother and I won’t see him hurt. He’s been there even when he didn’t have to be.”

  “Maybe we shouldn’t talk-”

  This time Jayne did look at her, dark eyes holding her, swirling with poignant sadness and fierce defiance. “He’s been through a lot, more than you know.”

  Once again, there was that note, that hint of something just below the surface and Alexina wanted badly to ask what it was. At least part of her did. The other part wanted none of it, nothing to hold or tie her to anyone. “I uh...This is between your brother and I, no one else.”

  Jayne studied her a moment more, something going off behind her eyes. Abruptly, she nodded and grinned, “So, show me around.” And she thought Luc exasperated her.

  ~***~

  After having spent the better part of her day showing Luciano’s sister around her store, she’d made the executive decision to call it a day. For the first time in a while, coming home to a dark, empty house did not excite her. She rummaged through the freezer, looking for something quick to eat. Her movements lethargic, she heated up a frozen dinner. She could see by the steady red light on her phone that no one had called and that left her feeling shut out. The look on Luc’s face flashed across her mind, the desolate look in his eyes swamping her with sorrow and loneliness. She really was a fool. He’d only been trying to help, but she’d yelled at him, and probably humiliated him, just dismissed his feelings without thought. Hadn’t her father done the same thing to her?

  Going with the urge to make things better, self-loathing eating at her for her harsh treatment of him, Alexina dialed his number before she could stop.

  He picked up on the first ring, as if he’d been waiting for her call. “Luc, it’s me.” She gave a halfhearted smile, wondering if he could hear it in her voice.

  “Uh huh...”

  The tone of his voice sapped some of her confidence, but she pressed on. “I wanted to know...if you could...would come over.”

  “Why?” Damn, he was angrier than she’d thought, the frigid tone of his voice sending icicles through the phone line.

  “Just, are you going to come over or not?” she all but stamped her foot in agitation. Why was he making this so hard? Okay she knew why, but didn’t it count that she was trying to make it better?

  “Why should I? What for?” Great, now his tone had gone from frigid to just plain bored. What was left of her self-confidence withered away into dust.

  “Please don’t make this hard for me.” She whispered, her bottom lip trembling.

  A heavy sigh and then silence. “I’ll be over in a minute.” He said finally.

  She opened the door for him a little bit later and he knew by the way she wiped her hands on her pants that she was uncomfortable. He stamped down the urge to reach out and pull her into his arms, instead staring at her blankly. She’d hurt him the other day and he wasn’t quite ready to forgive her. She led him into the house, and then stopped in the middle of the room.

  She turned to face him, her eyes dark with worry. He couldn’t help but feel a little better to know that she seemed to be torn up about it too.

  “You want something to drink?” She licked her lips nervously, motioning towards the kitchen. The nervous energy she was putting out made him edgy and a bit pissed off. He was angry sure, but what did she think he was going to do? Humiliate and yell at her as her father had done? He wasn’t that person. His father had treated him the same way when he was high and he hated for anyone to feel what he’d felt.

  “No I’m good.” He shook his head, thoughtful as he watched her wipe her hands on her pants, for the third time.

  “You want something to eat?”

  “No.” What he wanted was to know what it was going to take to make her se
e he was the one for her. The one she should have married in the first place. The few days he hadn’t talked to her had been hell and now, what he most wanted was to pull her up against him and sink into her.

  “How about-“

  Exasperated, he stopped her, tired of the stalling. “Lexi, tell me why you wanted me over here so bad?” if she was going to stop whatever it was they were working towards, he didn’t want it drawn out any longer.

  She swallowed, her throat quivering as she tried to take a deep breath. “I wanted to say...I mean, I’m...” another deep breath and his body braced for a rejection. “I’m sorry about...what I said...the other day.”

  Damn, that took the wind out his sail. He walked towards her, the rigid stance he’d been about to take softening. “Lexi, why didn’t you just tell me your father was in town?” One hand reached out, stroking her face, his body becoming aroused at the contrast between her dark, soft skin and his tanned, rough fingers. As she leaned into the touch, the flicker of lust flamed into a roaring fire.

  “I didn’t want you to meet him. I knew you would want to talk to him and I...couldn’t have that.” She closed her eyes at his caress.

  That hurt. Why didn’t she want him to meet her father? He’d met him once when they’d been in school together. “Would that have been so bad?”

  “He has...ideas about mourning and how long it should take. He wouldn’t have understood.” She opened her eyes to peer up at him and he could see that she was mostly telling him the truth. There was still secrets there, among them a way to her heart. Some of the walls she had up around her were coming down and he was just going to have to be patient, give her time to come into her feelings and feel safe with him. Luciano knew her heart, had known it since high school and it was just a matter of time before she gave it all to him, and he was eagerly waiting for that moment.

  He just knew that given the chance, her love would be fierce, a force to be reckoned with. “It was a bad day for you. I understand.” his thumb stroked her smooth cheek.

  A guilty grin spread across her lush lips and the urge to take and taste them was overwhelming. “I’m really sorry about the necklace. I locked that way and forgot about it.” She sobered, her gaze solemn.

  Luciano’s eyes flared and the hand on her face reached around and clasped the back of her neck. He pulled her in, his lips coming closer. “Let’s fix that then.” He tugged her towards the bedroom; intent on making sure their lovemaking was one thing she wouldn’t forget.

  Luciano stared up at the ceiling, one hand behind his head, thinking about his “relationship” with Alexina. Her marriage to Donald had done something to her, scared her away from letting people in. All the guilt and shame she was feeling for not loving him was eating away at her spirit and he wanted so badly to fix it. He watched her sleep out the corner of his eye, her chest rising and falling, snuggled into his side. She needed some closure, something that would help her move on, hopefully with him. He thought back to the argument she’d had with her father, about that box she hadn’t looked at. Maybe if she opened it, looked inside and let it all go, she would realize she was worthy of being happy, of being in love.

  At the change in her breathing, his attention shifted fully to her, his eyes on her face as she came awake. She stretched, her body curling and rubbing against him like a cat. He felt like rolling her beneath him and making her moan with pleasure, the same way she had last night, but there was something else that he needed to do first.

  Her eyes opened and she gazed up at him blearily, a sleepy smile on her lips. “So, are you going to go empty that box?” He should have given her warning, but he didn’t want to give her a chance to back out, to put the wall back up and give him some blasé answer.

  Her eyes glared at him, mutiny shining in the coffee brown depths. He knew a battle brewing when he saw one. She jerked upright in the bed, her hair sticking out in different directions, catching some of the sunlight streaming in, setting her hair ablaze. “Why are you asking me that? No, I-”

  A mental step back and he tried a different route. “I think you should.” He kept his voice quiet and calm, hoping to soothe, sitting up next to her. It was an effort to stamp down his body’s needs at the sight of her naked body, warm and flush from sleep, skin silky and begging to be touched. “You need to.”

  Alexina let out a harsh breath, running a hand through her hair, “I don’t know. I just can’t-”

  She looked at him and he could see in her eyes and tight lines around her mouth that she was scared and had no idea of what to do. “I’ll go with you.”

  Silence fell around them as she stared at him, joy flashing in her eyes before she hid it with a toss of her hair. She glanced away, biting at her bottom lip, her hands twisting in the sheets. He didn’t say a word, letting her come to her own decision. Whether she said yes or not, he was going with her. She finally looked back at him, nodding in agreement.

  “Good” he grunted and pushed her back down on the bed, mouth settling on hers, a hungry groaning vibrating between them. She seemed to be opening up to him, her arms curving over his shoulders pulling him into her. He wanted to tell her how he felt, how she made him feel inside, but he kept it to himself, the hands clutching at her back puling him from his thoughts. When they got to Virginia, he would let her know. Luciano would tell her there that he was still in love with her.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Stomach in knots, she splashed cold water on her face. How the hell had she allowed Luc to talk to her into this? Peering into the airplane mirror, she tried to relax her anxious face. Alexina patted her face dry, taking out her makeup bag and freshening up her face. Frowning cause wrinkles she reminded herself, forcing the worry lines from her forehead. She hated to admit it, but she was glad he’d come. Just the presence of his muscular body next to hers eased her mind. If he hadn’t offered to come, she never would have made it. That strong, solid wall of support was everything she needed, often leaving her weak in the knees with love.

  That thought had her hand pausing, lip gloss poised in mid-air. This was not supposed to happen, she could not be thinking of making this permanent. Too much was going on in her life and there was no time to get involved with anyone, least of all Luc. He would expect more than she could give, demanding a piece of her shattered heart. She finished putting on her lip-gloss, mind in overdrive. He was already starting to act the part; coming with her on the trip, staying the night without asking. She resolved to nip this whole thing in the bud, gathering her things and opening the door with a snap.

  Prepared for a confrontation, she moved up the aisle smartly, coming to their seat. She opened her mouth, but stopped, a smile curving her lips. Alexina’s resolve faded, her heart beating wilding in her chest. He was asleep, the roughness of his face relaxed, a bit of boyish roughness in its place. The urge to reach out and stroke his fact over took her and she let it, skin smoothing over skin, the gesture full of longing and tenderness. The stubble on his chin was rough on her hands, darts of pleasure shooting through her body.

  He came awake, turning his face into her touch, a large hand clasping her wrist with a gentle touch. He placed a kiss to the palm of her hand, tugging her down beside him. Sinking into the lush seat next to him, she let him pull her into his side, arms cuddling her close. Her pulse beating fast, she tried to fake a deep breath, but it stuck in her throat. His chin rubbed the top of her head, a soothing motion that had her body melting into his.

  “You okay?” His voice was scratchy, hints of a Texas drawl in it, his breath stirring the hairs on her head.

  She nodded, fighting back the panic starting to build in her body. It all felt too good, too much like she belonged there. He murmured something else, his eyes drifting closed as he nodded back to sleep. She watched him sleep, an ache spreading through her heart. He was too important, too special for her to be leading on. The hand on his chest clenched at him and she decided that as soon as they touched down, she was going to tell him they couldn’t do t
his anymore. Her heart broke at the thought, but Alexina knew it was for the best. She couldn’t offer him what he was looking for. She didn’t have anything left to give.

  ~***~

  Jake marched into his office, he temper barely restrained. Flinging his Hermes briefcase on his desk, he snatched up the phone and punched in Morgan’s extension.

  “My office, now!” He slammed the phone down, heading over to the mini bar in his office. Pouring a double shot of scotch, he took a healthy swallow, savoring the warmth as it slid down. At the sound of the door opening, he turned, scowling at the sullen figure in his doorway.

  “Little early for a drink.” Morgan replied snidely.

  “Get in here and shut the door!” He snapped, walking to his chair. Dealing with youth was like dealing with animals; you had to be firm, often with a heavy hand to get things done. And it looked like he was going to have to use that heavy hand with this idiot.

  Morgan slumped into the chair, wrinkling his well-tailored suit. “What’s the deal? Mr. C was-“

  “The FBI is sniffing around again.” Jake cut in, irritated with Morgan’s whining. Why the hell had he decided to involve this boy he would never know.

  “Wha-...why?” Morgan sat forward, his mouth working but no sound coming out.

  Jake leaned back in his chair, twirling the glass in one hand. “They wanted to know if Donald had left me anything.”

  Morgan gulped, a finger running nervously under his collar. “What did you tell them?”

  “What the fuck do you think I told them?” He sneered, growing weary of Morgan’s stupid questions and foolish whining.