Instead, moving softly, she turned to gaze at him, drinking in the sight of his sleeping face. In the early morning, with his eyes closed, she could admit to herself that she loved him. There was no shame or guilt in the feeling, they just were. She knew that if she let him, he could mend her heart and make her feel alive again. She just had to be willing...no, she couldn’t do that. She’d opened her heart before and now she was a widow. Shaking her head, she knew that wasn’t true either. The love she’d had for Donald in the beginning had been more of a friendship love, something reserved for girlfriends and family. Near the end, all she’d felt was just a sense of duty, of longing for something permanent.
She’d wanted to love him, wanted to give him her all, but her heart had been holding her back. Looking at Luc’s sleeping face; Alexina realized what it was. She’d wanted Luc this whole time; wanted to be his wife and give him children and build a life with him. It was too late for that now. The old guilt came back, mocking her with images of Donald at their wedding and flashes of his mother at his funeral. Why did this have to be so hard?
“Hey, what are you thinking?” eyes refocusing, she could see that Luc was awake, staring at her with his head propped up on his hand.
“Just...I hope this is over soon. I'm on pins and needles.” It was a partial truth; taking some of the sting out the fact that she wasn’t ever going to be able to tell him what was on her mind.
“I don’t know, I kinda like being on the run.” Quiet laughter danced in his eyes as a hand snaked past the covers, gently massaging her buttocks.
Scoffing, she braced a hand on his chest. “What about your work? When would you have time to design?”
A sexy grin spread across his face and her body melted at the sight, breath starting to stick in her lungs. “I would be too busy to design.” He nipped at her chin, growling in his chest when she slid her sheet clad thigh between his hard, muscled legs. The hand on her bottom squeezed tightly, one finger dipping low as he shifted down her body.
“Then...how would...we survive?” head tilted back to give him better access, she was breathless now that his mouth was sucking at the sensitive skin on the tops of her breasts.
“We could live off...love baby.” The sound he made was somewhere between a laugh and a growl, his hot mouth skimming over the slope of her breast, nuzzling the peaked nub, tongue flicking out and taking little licks as he moved across her skin.
Alexina didn’t have anything to say to his comment, mind lost in the sexual web he was spinning with his mouth and hands skimming over her body. She made a small, needy sound at the back of her throat when a blunt finger probed at the moisture between her legs slipping in, unhurried in its sensual movements.
She whimpered, her arms sliding around his shoulder, fingers digging into the hard, bunched muscles. “Luc...you make me want.” She hadn’t meant to say that, the words had come out on their own. Holding herself still, she waited for his reaction as his movements stilled.
His hard body shifted up, strong arms wrapping around her, holding her close. Gray eyes stared back at her, softening around the edges. He caressed her lips with his thumb, “I love you.” A long, awkward pause fell between them as he waited for her to say something.
What was she supposed to say to that? Her heart was screaming at her to say the words back, but her mind was holding on to reason, warning her to keep silent. “Luciano, I –” her heart flailed as his eyes shifted, hardening where they had once been soft.
His body rigid, Luciano dropped his arms. “You know what, never mind.” Rolling away, he left the bed, his stride angry as he headed towards the bathroom. “We should be getting you home.”
“Wait–” Alexina kicked the covers off, her feet tangling in the fabric, trying to get out of the bed before he made it to the bathroom. The intent hadn’t been to hurt him, she’d only been about to say that she needed some time, just a little more time before she could know for sure how she felt.
She didn’t know what she was going to say, had no clue how she was going to make it better, but she followed him anyway, knowing that if she didn’t get to him in time, everything was lost
Too late, the door closed in her face.
~***~
The car ride back to her house was excruciating. Luciano had stared out the window, fingers gripping the steering wheel tightly, as if the action was the only thing keeping him from exploding. The stilted conversation had been even worse than the silence. Every time she’d tried to talk to him, he’d rebuffed her, stopping short of snarling at her, his eyes full of hurt and anger. Giving up, she stared out the window morosely, wishing that she had a magic wand.
Pulling into a parking spot, Luciano threw the truck into park, thrusting the door open and walking around the truck to the trunk to get her things out. His movements were angry and harsh, frustration reverberating down his back. She tried to think of something to say that would put everything back the way it was but it was too late. There wasn’t anything she could say. Alexina stayed back, moving hesitantly behind him as they walked inside building and got on the elevator.
He walked ahead, but stopped short at her door. “Well hell!”
Alarmed at the rage ringing in his voice, she moved forward quickly. “What is it?”
He turned to look at her, worry and a scary kind of excitement ringing in his voice. “Did you forget to close your door?”
She stepped back, fearful of what his question meant. “What–No! Why?” but she had an inkling of what was going on and her heart started to pound in her chest.
“Stay here.” Urging her further back, he pushed the door open, stepping cautiously over the threshold.
Damned if she was going to play the scared female, she marched right in beside him, steps stopped short at the sight before her.
“Oh God!” Alexina’s knees buckled at the sight before her.
They’d ripped the couch she’d spent house agonizing over to shreds, cushions pulled out and thrown in every direction. The glass coffee table was shattered, everything on it destroyed. She whimpered at the picture of her mother, the glass in the frame cracked. It scared her to think of what the rest of her home looked like, just the thought of someone touching her private, intimate things made her sick to her stomach. Everything she owned, tossed about as if it were nothing. The urge to pull her hair out was strong, as was the impulse to scream and wail. She tried to rush past Luc, to see if they’d taken her mother’s jewelry, but he stopped her with a hand to her arm, pulling her into his tight embrace.
“I think you need to call that FBI agent.” His voice was gruff as he spoke into her hair, hands moving over her back in a soothing gesture.
Pulling from his embrace, she dug her phone out. Agent Stephens answered on first ring, “Mrs. Arrington, I’m glad you called. I was just about to call you. I...I have some bad news.”
Well, there was plenty of that to go around. She suppressed the hysterical laughter that was bubbling up. “I have my own.”
“They’re on the move.”
“Wha–All of them?” This could not be happening. She began pacing the hallway, giving into the urge to tug on a handful of hair.
“We lost Jake and Morgan two days ago. We think they’re headed your way.” His voice was urgent, sending her fear levels sky high.
Well, she had news for him didn’t she? “I think they were already here. They tore up my house looking for something.”
Agent Stephens exhaled loudly, the tension coming across the line. “Shit! That explains the Mathusa’s & Mr. Cunningham leaving.”
Knees buckling, Alexina had to use the wall to keep from falling over. “I don’t – what does that mean?” she was going to be sick, that’s what it meant. She was going to fall over and be sick. She wished her father were here, never pausing to consider the thought.
“You’re in danger. Did you give me everything you had?”
She knew she was in danger; she didn’t need him to tell her that. What she needed
was options, ideas on how to stay alive. “I gave you everything. I don’t know why they are still interested in me.”
“I don’t know either. You need to get somewhere safe until we get there. Can you do that?”
Alexina looked over at Luc, his eyes watching her every move. “I hope so.”
~***~
Jake and Morgan were sitting outside Luc’s house, watching his silver Mercedes. They’d been sitting there for a good two hours, waiting for something to happen. The constant ringing of Jake’s cell phone was starting to irritate him, but he couldn’t turn it off, since it was always Mr. C or Mr. Mathusa, calling to check on them. Huffing, he shifted in his seat, back aching, he prayed for a break.
“So what do we do now?” Morgan asked for the third time in as many minutes.
An agitated noise seeped out and Jake had to bite his tongue, “We wait for him to make a move and we follow.” Did he have to explain everything to this idiot?
“Then what?”
He was going to smack this kid. “Damn it! Stop asking me stupid questions!”
Morgan went back to staring out the window, when a white Lexus pulled into the driveway. “Who the hell is that?” Morgan pointed at the woman as she stepped out of the car, her blond hair blowing in the breeze.
“I don’t know!” This time, he did hit him, smacking him on the back of his head. “Let’s see what she does.”
The woman walked to the door, digging in her purse and pulling out a set of keys. Jake and Morgan opened their doors quietly, leaving them slightly ajar so as not to draw her attention. Sticking a key in, she unlocked the door as if she lived there. As she pushed in the door, Jake and Morgan rushed her, shoving her inside and slamming the door shut behind them.
“Who are you and what are you doing here?” Morgan demanded face contorted with rage.
“I’m Kelsie. Who the hell are you?” she yelled, stepping away from them.
“Where is he?” Morgan gripped her upper arm, yanking her against him.
Her head snapped back, blue gray eyes flashing angrily. “I don’t have to tell you anything!”
“Listen up bitch-” Morgan raised his hand, about to strike.
Kelsie clawed at him, scratching down the side of his face, lips pursed, spitting on him, “How dare you speak to me that way!”
Morgan’s hand swung in, backhanding her, an angry red handprint on her cheek. “You stupid –” his arm rose again, prepared to strike.
Jake grabbed his arm, stopping him mid-strike. This kid was going to get them in serious trouble. He would have to take care of him when this was finished. Pulling her from his grip, Jake walked Kelsie to the couch, pulling her down onto the cushions beside him. Time to play the good cop.
“I’m sure we can work something out. How about this–” reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out a wad of cash. The money was meant to cover expenses, since it wouldn’t do to have the FBI tracking them through credit card receipts, but he figured this was a good buy.
“There’s three thousand dollars here. All you have to do is tell me where he is. I just want Alexina. She has something of mine and I want it back.” He held out the cash to her, waiting.
It was a long moment as she stared at the money in his hand. Reaching out, she took it slowly, something glowing in her eyes letting him know she was thinking of getting Alexina out of the way. “I haven’t seen him, but I know he has a cabin in Thornly, about two hours from here. It’s a remote place, hardly anyone for miles.” Reaching into her purse, Kelsie pulled out a notepad, jotting down the address and directions.
Smiling at her the way he often smiled at his wife, he handed over the cash and rose from his seat. Fluffing the pillows he’s been leaning against, he nodded towards Morgan, who headed towards the door, his hand on the handle. Jake leaned over, a pillow behind his back, a grin on his face. “Thanks. Oh, and one last thing.”
Kelsie looked up, tears in her eyes. “What?” her pretty face scrunched up, the knowledge of what she had just done hitting her.
“Give me back my money bitch.” Three shots rang out as he pressed the pillow to her chest, her body slumping against the couch.
Chapter Twenty-Two
It was a long night, tossing and turning trying to get to sleep. Just the knowledge of Luc out in the living room, sleeping on the couch had her aching. He hadn’t spoken a word to her since they’d arrived, dropping her stuff off in the bedroom and heading outside to get firewood. She wouldn’t have thought they would need wood in the Texas summer, but Luc had merely shrugged, taking off his shirt before he started chopping.
Kicking the covers off, Alexina rolled to her side, staring out at the morning sky. It irked her to find she hated sleeping alone. Somewhere along the way, she had gotten used to Luc’s body heat, the smell of his skin, the feel of his arms around her. She was at a loss of how to cope without it.
Rising from the bed, she stretched, wary of what kind of attitude lay outside the door. Gathering her things, she opened the door quietly, peeking around the corner to see if he was still asleep. To her surprise, he was gone. Bewildered and hurt, she scurried to the bathroom, quickly getting ready.
A few minutes later, dressed in a snug pair of jeans and thin t-shirt, she stepped outside, watching the muscles in his back work as he chopped more wood. How much did they really need? She knew he was trying to avoid her and it was starting to get on her nerves. Wood chips were flying, sticking to his back as he worked in the hot sun and the sight of sweat dripping down; disappearing beneath his waistband was driving her crazy. The urge to walk up and drape her arms around his back, press a kiss to his sweaty skin was strong and she had to wrap her arms around herself to keep from doing just that.
Taking a step down, the board creaked beneath her feet and he paused, before resuming his actions. Okay, she would start easy. “Did you want to make me breakfast?” She gave a smile, knowing he couldn’t see it with his back to her.
“No.”
The curt answer cut deep, but she pressed on. He couldn’t ignore her the whole time they were here. Luc was going to have to talk to her sometime and it was better that they get this out in the open. “You want something to drink?”
“No.”
“How about-” she took another step towards him, surprised when he turned on her, eyes blazing fire.
“I said, no.” Another terse clipped response, before he started to move past her.
Reaching out, Alexina grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. “I was just–”
He shook off her hand, striding towards the porch. She let him go, her back to him so he couldn’t see how his words sliced her. She didn’t hear him come back.
“I don’t need you to take care of me. It’s obvious where we stand, so stop pretending.” He was right at her back, voice abrupt and dark.
Whirling to face him, she scowled. Who was he to tell her how she felt. “What are you talking about?”
“I love you damn it!” he snarled, one hand whipping out to grab her arm, shaking her harshly. “What does that mean to you?”
Frightened by the intensity of his words and the emotions swirling in his eyes and aroused from the scent of his hot skin, she struggled, not sure if she was trying to get closer or farther away. “I don’t-”
“I know. You don’t want to hear it.” He shook his head in disgust, thrusting her away from him. “That’s right; you never want to hear anything that’s important.”
“That’s not fair!” she flushed as she realized what he said was true. Did it ever occur to him it was because nothing ever good came from anything that was ‘important’? This argument could not be happening now, not with all that was going on. How was she supposed to react? She was strapped, having nothing left to give and he was demanding more. What was she supposed to do?
“I thought that you would see, that you would finally fucking get it! Why else would I be here, going through this with you?” he turned away, about to head back into the cabin.<
br />
There was no way he was going to get away with this. How dare he try to make her feel something. Why couldn’t he see that she was trying to work it out? All she needed was a moment, when things were calmer. What was so wrong with that? “Why are you doing this now?”
He kept his back to her, talking to the door. “Because I’m tired. I’m tired of being the only one in this ‘relationship’.” He looked at her over his shoulder, eyes bleak and closed off from her. “Tell me, do you even care for me?”
How could he ask that of her? Of course, she cared for him. Why didn’t he see that? Biting a trembling lip, Alexina took a step back, unsure of where she stood now. “I...I’m going for a walk.” This time she turned away from him, steps unsteady.
Jumping off the porch, he grabbed her arm, spinning her around to face him. The bleakness was gone, replaced by a longing that struck her in her heart. Oh god, what had she done? “Is that all you ever do, run?” he shoved her away, climbing back onto the porch and yanking the door open. “Fine. Run then, let all that guilt run your life. I’m done.”
She turned and ran.
~***~
Walking along a small creek several yards from the cabin, she sat down on a rock, body weak from the emotions raging in her. She didn’t know what to think or feel, everything was going so fast in her head she felt sick. Luc’s words kept coming back to her, taunting her and she had to fight from screaming. Her previous actions were a flurry in her mind, swirling up and clouding her vision.
All the times she’d rebuffed him, pushed him away to keep herself safe. After everything she’d said and not said, Luc still hadn’t left, still there protecting her. Funny, neither had Donald. Even when he’d known something was wrong, he’d still stuck it out, wanting to make it better.
It hit her then that she was being unfair, judging all the men in her life for actions of past, things that had nothing to do with them. Her father had been the one to leave her, abandoning her when her brother and mother had died. However, he was trying to make amends, fix what was broken. Alexina could see that now, all the times he’d had his hand out and she pushed it away, not needing anyone but crying out for someone. On a laughing sob, a sobering thought hit her; Silly girl, she was only hurting herself.
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