by A. Anders
Closing my eyes and spreading my arms, I entered the ring by hurling myself as far as I could go. When I landed a split second later, it was on taut muscle and matted fur.
Latching my arms around its tree trunk of a neck, my sanity quickly returned. What was I doing? I was unarmed and outmatched. I had no way to get it off of Victor. When it was done with him, it would start on me. This had to be the most stupid decision of my life.
But to my surprise, the bear did react. I had angered it. Removing its teeth from Victor’s throat, it roared.
With me clutching its neck like a lifesaver, the beast stood up. It was huge. With eight feet between me and the ground, any hope I had of escape was gone. What the hell had I done?
“Get them out!” I yelled at Brad.
With my face pressed against the scratchy fur, I caught Brad’s rescue in glimpses. Freddy was the closest to the gate, so he grabbed him first. That was the last thing I saw before the bear begun to spin.
It was furious. It wanted me off of it. Its thunderous steps shook my grip. Counting the seconds, I held on. Three, four, five… What was I doing? This whole situation was bull.
But flung from side to side, I refused to let go. The longer I held on, the more I began to believe that I could win. I had a death grip around its neck and it was staggering. I just needed a few more seconds, and then I could escape.
My fortunes changed quickly when the bear took a step forward and then missed its step back. My heart clinched before I knew what was happening. I was falling, caught between its massive weight and the ground. I was about to be crushed.
But I wasn’t. Though we were falling back uncontrollably, both the bear and I abruptly stopped.
“Ugggggggggh!” I screamed as the chain link fence sheared the skin off of my back.
When we finally hit the ground, it was with a thud. Dust plumed around us. Somehow, I was alive. Continuing to hold on as the bear returned to all fours, my chest thumped excitedly.
The stream of pain that followed, however, ended my excitement. I had padded the bear’s fall with my left arm. Something was broken. and I was slowly losing my grip.
Craaaap! I thought as the bear shook its loose skin, and I flew off of him like a tick.
I slid across the ground, losing my bearing. When I stopped, I heard something. I opened my eyes to a curtain of dust. Searching it frantically, I found the snout of the beast charging towards me.
“Hey!” I heard from behind it.
The bear didn’t stop. Just feet away, it rose, creating a wall of fur and claws. It blocked out the sun. When it fell, it was an avalanche. I rolled out of the way, escaping certain death.
“Hey!” Brad yelled again.
Was he talking to me or the bear? I wondered, hoping it was me.
Scouring the dust cloud, I found Brad. Nope, he had been talking to the bear.
With his knife in hand, Brad was crouched with arms outstretched, inviting the bear to fight. Brad looked pissed. He looked like a title contender chasing the champ. This wasn’t a rescue at all.
Since the man was clearly insane, I knew that I had to rescue myself. Looking around, I spotted Victor’s knife. It was too far away, but I had to try.
The beast lunged at me, and I rolled. It adjusted quickly, chasing me with its mouth open. Pulling my legs back, I reared and kicked, hard. My heel caught it square in the nose. It recoiled.
Here was my moment. I flipped over, crawling away as quickly as I could. I reached and grabbed at the knife. As the hilt slipped into my grip, I felt a claw rip through my calf. It tore my flesh like tissue paper. The pain sizzled through me like lightning.
I wanted to scream, but I didn’t have the time. I knew what would happen next. In a second, it would loosen the pressure on its claw to sink in its teeth. When it did, I had to be ready.
Slash! I sliced the bear from nose to eye. It backed off. Apparently, it didn’t like that. Well, I didn’t like it trying to eat me, so we were even.
When the beast returned, angrier than before, I got the feeling that we weren’t even. I was disappointed by that because I was out of tricks. With one less calf, I was forced to lie on the ground helpless as it reared its thousand pounds into the air.
With the bear about to crash on top of me, something unexpected happened. Brad launched his attack. He threw his one-hundred-and-seventy-pound body at the bear blade first and caught the beast in the neck.
I had to hand it to Brad. It was a great move. It never saw it coming.
Since I finally had a partner in this fight, I knew I had to act fast. While it was stunned, I scrambled onto my one leg and launched my own attack. Blocked from the gate, I had one move left. It was an impressive one.
Ignoring the pain in my leg, I sprung forward. Using the bear’s arm as leverage, I scissor-kicked up and wrapped my legs around its neck. And latched on, I was ready to bring the beast down into a rolling ball of fur.
This move had taken me forever to learn, but after years of practice, I was now a master. So you can imagine my disappointment when I jerked my body ready to roll, and the bear… didn’t budge.
Huh. That’s weird, I thought.
Still latched around its neck, I tried again. Determined, I bounced my torso harder and harder, sure that with one more try, it would fall, breaking its spirit and granting me victory.
None of that happened. Instead, I just hung around its neck like an ugly human necklace. Even the bear looked embarrassed for me. Awkward!
My move did give me one advantage, though. As long as I could stay there, I was clear of its teeth and claws. Latched around its neck, I could squeeze on its newly minted wound, robbing the beast of air and blood.
Fighting through the pain, I held on until thick warmth oozed down my leg. The smell of blood hung in the air. Was it mine? I couldn’t tell. However, I couldn’t keep my grip on it for much longer.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to. The eight-foot beast fell onto all fours, fighting to get me off of it. I wouldn’t let go.
Slowly, it lowered its head. Was it choking? Was it bleeding out? The real question was, who the hell cared? I was about to survive an unarmed fight with an eight-foot grizzly bear.
As the bear finally collapsed onto its side and slowed to a stop, my only thought was, Wow, I friggin’ rock. Well, that wasn’t my only thought. I was also thinking, Damn, I’m trapped under a bear.
With the knowledge that what I’d done was nearly impossible, I was hesitant to look up. It was never my intention to bring attention to myself. I didn’t want it, and I didn’t deserve it.
Okay, yes. I had saved two people’s lives by scaling a twelve-foot fence and fighting a thousand-pound bear barehanded. I could see how people might be impressed by that. But believe me, I didn’t deserve cheers or applause or anything like that.
In fact, just a knowing smile from Brad, if he reached down and helped me up, would be enough. Or perhaps a discrete “Thank you” from the producers for having prevented an absolute disaster. If I had to suffer embarrassing adoration for what I had just done, that’s the most I was willing to accept.
Luckily for me, everyone spared me such embarrassment.
When I finally mustered the courage and looked up, I found that Brad had long ago left the cage. He was certainly smiling, but it was because he was handing the gold ring to Rose.
Apparently, he had stabbed the bear to cut the twine from its neck. My epic life-and-death battle had given him the opportunity to find it in the dirt.
“We have a winner!” I heard Rose say. “For retrieving my ring, you will get a one-on-one date with me so that you can tell me of your other great deeds.”
Brad smiled enthusiastically. Why? Because he had just won the friggin’ challenge.
First of all, hey! I saved two people’s lives by scaling a twelve-foot fence and fighting a thousand-pound bear barehanded! How is Brad the winner? Second of all, was everyone here completely insane?
Thankfully, not everyone was.
After Rose’s pawn led her and Brad away for their one-on-one date, Ian entered the octagon. As I hardly had any strength left in my shredded calf, he helped me get out from under the now-rousing beast. And quickly closing the gate behind us, I joined the other injured men.
To my surprise, the pawns had an upgrade that I hadn’t expected. They were also triage bots. Pete approached me and scanned my leg and arm with a blue light from a side port. I knew what was coming next, and when I felt it, I couldn’t have been happier.
“Oh yeah. That’s the stuff,” I purred, feeling it.
Pete sprayed both limbs with a familiar blend of anti-coagulant, stem cells, and pain killers. It was every trooper’s friend. In spite of it being a spray, we called it “magic dust.” It was the one thing that always reminded me that we were living in the future.
Magic dust was created by the military to get troops back onto the battlefield as quickly as possible, but when it entered the commercial market, it turned the entire population into idiots. Hey, you wanna go hang glide from the window of a high-rise with your parachute on fire? Why not? Just a few sprays afterward and you’ll be as good as new!
All a person had to do after an accident was not die, and they’d be fine. Just idiots! The entire human race had become a bunch of risk-taking idiots… said the man receiving treatment after scaling a twelve-foot fence to fight a grizzly bear.
Goddammit, I had to get off this island!
In less than an hour, my calf had healed enough for me to walk on it. Looking at it, it was still bruised. But in another few hours, my calf would be stronger than when I began. Best of all, if the bots were equipped with the expensive magic dust, I wouldn’t even have a scar, inside or out.
I had to assume that my arm would be fine as well. I could move it without pain, but that was mostly because of the best part of magic dust, the painkillers. The more dust you got, the better you felt. So walking back to camp, Freddy, Victor and I were feeling really good.
Arriving back at the resort, a couple of the guys circled us, asking what the group date was like. Freddy answered. Amazingly, he barely acknowledged the challenge, focusing entirely on Rose, how she looked, what she said.
I appreciated that the guys were sparing me the embarrassment of mentioning it. But hadn’t I saved Freddy’s life? Wouldn’t a normal person bring that up at least once? Wasn’t that an important point? I mean, you know, from a storytelling perspective.
Also, what was up with his obsession with Rose? He had seen her three times and had spoken to her twice. Half of the time that he had spent with her was spent lying on the ground bleeding out.
So, how could he be talking about her now as if he was already in love? And why weren’t the others asking about anything else?
When Ian and I were back in our room, it was time to finish our conversation from breakfast. I had to know what the hell was going on here. Was this what all of these shows were like?
“No,” he said to my relief. “The challenges aren’t usually so death-defying. The bear could have killed you, and the bot wasn’t moving to help.”
“And Kurt. That was strange too, right?” I asked him, starting to put things together.
Ian’s eyes softened before continuing. “I’m gonna be honest with you, Ford. I don’t remember there being a Kurt.”
“I spoke to him all night at the cocktail party. Kind of a Clark Kent looking guy.”
“Yeah, you said that. But I thought I saw you standing alone.”
“Brad could tell you. He made both of us drinks.”
“Hey, I believe you. I’m just saying that no one remembers him.”
“No one?”
I was about to launch into a full defense of my sanity when Pete interrupted me. The fingerprint scanner, which doubled as a display, was flashing the word “Confession.”
“It wants you to do a confession,” Ian said from his bunk.
“What do you mean?”
“You know, it’s those interviews they show before and after a challenge.”
“I’ve never seen one of these shows before.”
“Well, your producer told you about it, right?”
“No. He didn’t tell me anything. They just had me fill out some paperwork, and then they brought me here.”
“That’s weird,” Ian paused. “I wonder if it’s because they didn’t expect you to make it past the first elimination.”
“I almost didn’t. In fact, I was gonna suggest that she take Kurt instead of me.”
Ian didn’t like it when I talked about Kurt. I wasn’t sure why. Maybe he didn’t like thinking that a crazy person had access to him while he slept.
“Anyway,” he continued. “You want to try a confessional?”
“I guess.”
“You look at the space above the scanner. Give it three blinks, and then talk.”
I looked down at Pete and then back at Ian. “Wait. I’m sorry. Did you say that I look at the space above the scanner?”
“Yeah. You look at the scanner, and it will give you the topic. Then you look at the space above the scanner, wait for three blinks, and then talk.”
I looked down at Pete’s scanner. Sure enough, words appeared saying, “picked for the group date; present.” I then looked at the space above the scanner, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a red light blink three times.
“It was alright,” I offered casually.
“No,” Ian announced from his bed. “First off, you gotta say more. And does it say a tense?”
“What do you mean?”
Ian came over and sat next to me. “See,” he said pointing at the display. “It’s telling you to talk about being picked for the group date as if it were the present. So you have to talk about it as if we haven’t gone on it yet.”
“But we have gone on it.”
“Yes. But when the audience sees it, what you say now will appear before the date. So you have to talk like it hasn’t happened yet.”
I returned my attention to Pete. I thought for a second and spoke.
“I got chosen for a group date. Hey, imagine that,” I said with a healthy amount of sarcasm.
Pete must have liked that because his message changed. It said, “Why you are excited about the date.”
Ian jumped in. “It’s telling you that you should say that you are excited about going on the date and to add a reason why.”
I looked back at Pete. “I’m excited because I’ve never fought a bear before.”
Pete blinked the word ‘disapproved’ on its display.
“See, if you haven’t been on the date yet, then how would you know that you will be fighting a bear?” Ian asked.
“Really?” I said, finding the whole thing ridiculous.
“Just be glad they’re asking you. My pawn isn’t asking me. That probably means that they’ll focus on you for that group date. They’re gonna give you a storyline for the episode.”
I didn’t know how I felt about all of that. When I came here, my plan was to hang out in the back. I wasn’t looking for my own storyline, whatever that meant.
I took all of Ian’s suggestions, and eventually Pete stopped blinking messages at me. I wasn’t sure if it was because he gave up or because he had gotten everything he needed.
I found the whole situation weird. But the only question I found uncomfortable was the one asking why I had jumped into the ring. I don’t know why I jumped into the ring. I mean, I know why, but… Let’s just say that the reason is complex.
The answer I gave Pete was, “Because it was there.” Pete flashed the question again, and I gave the same answer. I think I broke his spirit because, after that, it didn’t ask me to re-answer questions.
I spent the next few hours in bed. Although magic dust gave you quite a buzz initially, once it wore off, it left a bit of a hangover.
Riding the magic dust dragon, I stared at the ceiling thinking about something Ian had said. He had suggested that I wasn’t expected to make it past the first
night.
How had I made it past the first night? Who were they expecting Rose to choose instead? Kurt, maybe. Certainly, I would have chosen him if I were her.
After a late lunch, the pawns gathered us again. With Brad back from his one-on-one date with Rose, we were all there. A pawn handed a card to someone to read. I think the guy’s name was Carl. I’m horrible with names.
“To accompany me on my first solo date, I, Rose, choose a thorn. Thorin, will you join me tonight?”
Apparently, the very pale dude from the night before was named Thorin, which was going to be hard for me to remember. But considering the number of high fives he was giving, he was someone I should remember.
Ian explained that being chosen for a solo date instead of group date was a big deal. Since he wouldn’t have to compete for her time like we had to for a one-on-one date, he would get more time with her. So, by being chosen for the solo date, Thorin the Pale was now winning the game and he couldn’t be happier.
As I lounged off the last of my magic dust hangover, the night seemed to come quickly. Ian had invited me to come out and be social. I could hear everyone by the pool having fun. But between the night before and the challenge this morning, I had made enough of an impression on everyone.
The one thing that I did want to do was find Brad. I knew that I wasn’t going nuts. Kurt had been real. However, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to have someone confirm it.
By the time I dragged myself out of my room, it was dark. The first person I ran into was reclining on a pool chair with his eyes closed. I approached the guy after I recognized him from our challenge. He looked about like how I had felt. Although his face and throat looked fine, I knew that the mental scars didn’t heal as fast.
“Hey… Victor, right?”
Victor opened his eyes long enough to give me a snide look.
“If it isn’t ‘the Kurt-is-dying man,’”
I looked at him, unsure of what he was talking about. If he were to give me a nickname, I would have guessed that it would be, “Ford, the guy who saved his life.”