I gulp and shove the pity party aside. There’s no point in having such thoughts.
My car passes the Murphy driveway but I stare straight ahead. All summer long I’ve tried to pretend the ranch next door doesn’t exist. If I accidentally look at that house and remember the good times I had there I might have a mental breakdown.
I manage to keep my eyes on the road all the way to my own driveway. As I turn past the mailbox something familiar appears in the corner of my eye.
It’s a truck parked next to my Mom’s Chevy.
But it’s not just any truck. It’s Nash’s.
My vision blurs and my breathing stops like I’ve been submerged in water. I pull my car up to Nash’s truck and hurry into the house.
Chattering fills the hallway. I follow it into the kitchen and then stop in the doorway. Nash and Clay sit at the table, at the very last place I saw them. My father sits across from them, his back to me. Mom’s at the stove pouring steaming water from the tea kettle into a row of mugs.
I stare at the whole scene, my insides flipping and twisting every which way. Clay and Nash stare back. I briefly glance at them then look to my mother.
“Mom...”
She smiles. “Clay and Nash are back, honey. Isn’t that wonderful?”
Dad cranes his neck to take me in. “What are you pale for?”
I look at the floor. “I’m not feeling very good.”
“Sit down. Your mother’s making tea.”
“I’m fine,” I tensely say.
An unease fills the room. My head pounds. Did Nash and Clay come back specifically to see me? Or are they merely in town and just stopping by for a quick chat?
If they think things are that easy between us now they’re insane. My stomach rolls. A wave of nausea sweeps up, up.
I sprint across the kitchen and out the screen door. My shoes pound against the grass as I push down bile.
I make it all the way to the line of trees next to the horse barn, but then I can’t do it anymore. I fall down onto my knees and vomit into a bush.
A couple dry heaves rack my chest but nothing else comes up. I stand on shaky legs and amble over to the closest fence. Leaning against the wood, I lay my forehead down onto my folded arms.
I’ve had morning sickness, but I’ve never actually thrown up.
But it’s probably not morning sickness. It’s those two.
“Cheyenne.”
It’s Clay’s voice. I clench my eyes shut and don’t move. Footsteps thud towards me.
“Are you all right?” Nash asks.
I straighten up and turn to face them. They’re both just like I remember them. Same chiseled muscles. Same black hats and tight jeans. But there’s also more to them. It’s something I can’t name or understand.
Which of them is the father?
I hook my elbow on the fence and look back at the house. “I’m fine. I just ate something bad.”
They stop a few feet away. I wait to see if one of them will reach out and touch me but neither of them makes a move. Given the way we left things, it makes sense. They probably think I hate them.
I wish I could. It would make things crazily easier.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
Clay smiles a bit. “My dad is retiring. I’m going to take over the ranch.”
“You’re…” My mouth gets dry. “You’re taking over the ranch?”
“Starting right away.”
“But what about the rodeo?”
“Forget the rodeo,” Nash answers. “This is where we want to be.”
Does he mean with me?
I bite down on my bottom lip. It doesn’t matter what he means. Only three months have gone by. People can’t change that fast.
“You’re both staying.”
“That’s right,” Nash solemnly says.
They both keep gazing at me. It seems like they’re waiting for me to make the next move, but I don’t know what to say. The only thing I regret about letting go is how much drama went down before we went our separate ways. I wish I hadn’t cried so much over it too, but letting them go was the right thing to do.
I’m even more positive about it now. The men standing in front of me aren’t family people. I’m not quite sure how they would react to the news of my pregnancy. They could both deny having any involvement.
Despite their showing up, I’m going to stick to the same plan I concocted last week. The baby’s father is a seasonal worker traveling through town. Not only is he long gone now, he has no interest in being involved in raising a kid.
There’s no reason in making this whole thing any more complicated than it already is.
“We miss you, Cheyenne,” Clay says. He hooks his fingers in his belt loops and takes a step closer.
I jerk from his close proximity. One touch and I’ll come undone. I won’t be able to say no to these two again. From there it’ll be a landslide of messes. I’m not going to get myself or my baby involved with such flighty men.
“You need to go,” I sharply say. “I can’t… I can’t do this.”
Nash scowls. “Why not?”
Fury flies through me. “Because, believe it or not, you two aren’t the center of the universe! I have a life. I have other things to think about. Goodbye.”
I cross my arms tight against my chest and storm away.
20
Clay
I flip through channels, each click of the remote a harder one. Shows and commercials fly by. The images begin to blur together.
“Well look at this,” Nash drawls from the other end of the couch.
I glance over at him and grunt to show him I’m listening. He peers at something on his phone. “Emily is in trouble again. Looks like she got into a fistfight with another woman over a man.”
“How do you know this?”
“Facebook.”
I gawk at him. “You’re friends with her on Facebook?”
“Fuck no. That bartender friend of hers, what’s her name? Annie… She friended me. She just posted something about it.”
“Oh.” I look back at the television set, but it still doesn’t hold my interest. “Hey… Is Cheyenne’s profile private?”
“I don’t know. Why?”
“What she said today, about her having other things going on in her life… that could mean a man.”
He sits up straighter. “I’m looking now.”
My knee rapidly bounces up and down while I wait for him to find her page. I cross it over my other leg to still it.
“It’s private,” Nash announces. “I can’t see her posts or anything.”
“Shit.”
“We should go over there right now. Who cares what time it is?”
I glance at the clock. “Just for the record, it’s almost midnight.”
“If she is seeing a man we need to put a stop to it right now. He’s probably about to propose to her, if he hasn’t already.”
“Stop it,” I bark. “Cheyenne’s not getting engaged.”
“Why, because we’re too dumb to put a ring on her finger ourselves?”
“Speak for yourself.”
Nash turns to face me, his eyebrows angrily bunching together. “So now it’s you against me?”
“You’re putting words in my mouth.”
“Someone needs to say something. Here we are, sitting here like fools while the one woman for us walks out of our lives.”
I fall back against the couch cushions. Nash is right. We’ve been gone for three months. It’s crazy to think Cheyenne hasn’t found a man to take our place.
“Call her up,” I say.
“She’s not gonna answer.”
“Do it anyway.”
He dials her number but she doesn’t answer.
Nash slumps into the side of the couch. “Shit. What if she’s with him right now?”
My insides curl. “Let’s go there now. We can see if she’s home or not.”
“Now you’re talking.”
> We creep across the dark field. Each step is a familiar one. I know where all the rocks and hidden holes are. Just like with every square foot of the farm, I could walk it in my sleep.
Accepting responsibility of the ranch made me just as surprised as anyone else could be. I never seriously thought about coming back home, but the last three months have been hard. The ranch has been on my mind almost as much as Cheyenne. It’s been a magnet tugging at me across state borders.
For the first time, I can picture the Town of Cody as my home.
Dad calling me up and asking me to take over the family business just makes sense.
Cheyenne’s house is completely dark.
We sneak along the perimeter and peer up at the windows.
“We’re gonna get shot,” Nash grumbles.
“Not if you be quiet.”
“Where’s her bedroom?”
“Uh… I don’t know.”
“Great,” he sarcastically hisses.
I study the second story. “There. At the double windows. I’m pretty sure that was Cheyenne’s room as a kid. It probably still is now.”
“Let’s hope so. If it’s not Mrs. McGee might get the wrong impression and think we’re looking for a cougar booty call.”
“How can you joke right now?” I snap. “Cheyenne could be out with a man.”
“Fine,” he seriously says. “Back to business.”
I scratch my jaw. “Let’s throw some rocks at the window.”
“They’ll break the glass. Heft me up.”
“Hell no.”
“Put me on your shoulders and I’ll climb onto the side roof.”
I shoot another look at the double windows. The image of a strange man’s hands on Cheyenne’s naked body hits me. “Okay.”
I bend down and brace my hands against the side of the house. Nash awkwardly climbs onto my shoulders. His boots dig into my muscles and I grit my teeth.
“Jesus,” I snap. “Did you gain weight?”
“Can it. Get me higher.”
I clamp onto his calves and stand up. We sway a bit and almost tumble down. There’s a scuffling noise as Nash grabs onto the gutter.
“Got it.” He pulls himself onto the side roof and I step back to watch. He crouches in the moonlight and shuffles across the tiles. At the windows, he cups his hands around his eyes and presses his face to the glass.
“Knock,” I tell him, making my voice as loud as I dare.
He raps slightly. Nothing happens.
My gut turns to stone. Cheyenne’s not home. It’s just what we feared. We’re three months too late. She’s got a boyfriend and is out of our lives forever.
My nails dig into my palms. We should have come back sooner.
There’s a bumping upstairs and the window opens. Cheyenne pokes her head out, hair falling all around her face.
“Nash?” she groggily asks.
I whistle and her face turns in my direction. “Clay?”
“We need to talk to you,” Nash says.
Cheyenne rubs her eyes. “My parents are going to wake up. What are you doing here?”
“What he said,” I hiss up at her.
Nash offers her his hand. She runs her fingers through her hair and sighs.
“Okay,” she whispers. “One second.”
She vanishes from the window and returns in a minute. Nash helps her climb through and walk across the roof. I lift my arms for her to jump down into them.
“No. Uh-uh.”
“I’ll catch you,” I promise.
She nudges the tips of her sneakers a bit closer to the edge. “Okay. But if you drop me I’m going to kill you.”
She crouches down and jumps. I catch her firmly beneath the arms and pull her into my chest. Her hair falls across my cheeks and her breath kisses my lips. I wrap my arms tighter around her.
“What about me?” Nash asks. “You gonna catch me too?”
I don’t answer. I just push Cheyenne’s hair back from her face and step to the side to let Nash get down.
“You need to put me down,” Cheyenne softly says.
I grudgingly deposit her on the grass.
“You two are crazy.” She wraps her arms around herself. “It’s the middle of the night.”
“You didn’t answer your phone,” Nash says.
“Because it’s the middle of the night.”
I lightly touch her shoulder. “It’s important.”
“Really? It’s that important?”
Something bangs in the house. Cheyenne’s head whips towards the nearest window. “We need to get away from here. We can’t afford to wake up my parents. If they hear us, they’re sure to come out here.”
“Come back to my place.”
“I don’t know.”
Nash pushes close to her. “Cheyenne,” he huskily murmurs.
Her shoulders slump and her arms drop to her sides. “Let’s go.”
I take her hand and lead her across the field.
At the house, we settle onto the living room couch. Cheyenne looks uncertainly around herself. “This is your home for real now, huh?”
“Yes.”
“Mine too,” Nash grins.
Cheyenne looks me over. “This is what you really want?”
“I’ve already committed to it. My dad moved most of his stuff. He comes back for the last bit next week.”
She looks at her pajama pants. “I don’t know why I came over here.”
“Because you want to,” I quickly say. “You want to be with us.”
“If I do it’s because I’m crazy.”
From the other side of her, Nash touches her knee. “We’re better than anyone else you’ll ever find, Cheyenne.”
“I’m not looking.”
My fingers twitch. I want to get my hands on whatever guy’s been messing with her and pound him into the dirt. “Who is he?”
Her nose wrinkles. “Who is who?”
“Him. The man you’ve been...” Bitterness fills my tongue. I can’t finish.
Cheyenne slowly blinks. “You think I’ve been seeing someone else?”
“Haven’t you?” Nash lashes out.
Something like a choking sound leaves Cheyenne. It rounds out, turning into a laugh. She presses her fingers against her mouth and giggles. “There’s no one.”
Relief rains down on me. “That’s the honest truth?”
She stops laughing. “Yes, Clay. It’s the honest truth.”
“Then why won’t you still be with us?” Nash demands. “We came back for you, Cheyenne.”
“You came back for the ranch,” she argues.
“And for you,” I solemnly tell her. “Nash and I want to be on this ranch, but half of the reason we’re here is you.”
Her face falls. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
“But we did. We came back for you, and we’re going to get you. There’s no reason you shouldn’t...”
“I’m pregnant.”
The words ring in the room. Over Cheyenne’s drooped head I lock eyes with Nash. His mouth slowly falls open.
I work my jaw around. It’s turned to jelly. “I… Who… whose is it?”
Her brown eyes pierce me. “You’re the only two men I’ve been with.”
“God,” Nash says. “God...”
“How far along are you?” I ask her.
She sucks in her lower lip as she seems to contemplate the answer. Or maybe she’s bracing us, getting us mentally ready for the answer. “Twelve weeks, I think. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and will get a better idea then.”
“Awww, hell…this is…” Nash starts to say.
“Stop,” I command him. His voice is getting on my nerves and I need to think.
“Shut up,” Nash tells me. “We should have come back sooner.”
“It’s not my fault we didn’t.”
“Stop!” Cheyenne screams. She hops up and turns to face us. “Is this what you do now? Fight?”
“We’re figuring
this out,” I tell her.
“There’s nothing to figure out.”
“It’s our baby, Cheyenne. One of ours.” My eyes fall to her stomach. She’s not showing, but there’s a new softness to her I didn’t notice till now.
She protectively folds her arms across her stomach, shielding herself from my gaze. “Correction. It’s my baby. You two have nothing to do with this.”
Nash stands up. “Wait a second...”
“Now you’re the one who’s acting crazy,” I say.
Cheyenne’s lips tremble. “I know you both well enough to know this isn’t what you want. Just because you came back here doesn’t mean you’re ready for a family. Raising a kid isn’t the same as raising a herd of cattle.”
Nash reaches out for her. “We know.”
Cheyenne quickly steps backward. Her calves hit the coffee table and she stumbles a bit. My stomach flips.
“Be careful,” I say.
“Don’t tell me what to do.”
I stand too, but don’t make a move to touch her. One wrong move on mine or Nash’s part and she’ll be out the door. “Just what were you planning on doing? Raising this baby all on your own?”
She defiantly lifts her chin. “Yes.”
“You think we’re that bad, huh? You don’t think we should be around our kid?”
“Only one of you is the father.”
I look over at Nash. I’ve known him long enough to know what he’s thinking right now. It doesn’t matter who the father is. Cheyenne belongs to both of us, and so does that baby she’s carrying.
“We’re here now,” Nash solemnly says. “And we’re going to take care of you and the baby.”
Cheyenne’s eyes glisten. “How can I believe you? This isn’t how things were supposed to be between us. This is the opposite of what was gonna happen.”
“And it’s wrong?” I counter.
“It’s not you,” she sadly says.
“Hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but you don’t know everything about us. Nash and I came back here. For you. And we’re not about to leave.”
“Not now, but one day you will.”
A groan rumbles in Nash’s chest. “Cheyenne...”
“Marry us,” Nash says.
My head swivels towards him at a whiplash speed. He catches my eye and gives me a slight nod.
I know what he’s telling me. This is the one way we can show Cheyenne we mean business. If we don’t lock her down in a permanent way, she’ll be gone.
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