His cries died away as his scrambling fingers clutched onto any part of me.
We were both breathing hard; there wasn’t enough air for either of us while we drew them in big gulps that left us gasping unable to stop shaking. A steady hum echoed between my ears. As if my bones were liquid I was dying to slide off him and curl into his side giving into the contentment that swept me away as easily as the pleasure that had come before it. His hand eased up my spine eliciting a shiver as he cupped the nape of my neck to bring me forward until he could kiss my forehead.
“I love you too. It only means trouble for both of us, but there’s no way for me to stop, I’m incapable of doing the right thing for once in my life. I refuse to turn away from you, Natalia. As much as I’m yours, you’re mine.”
“Mmm, yes. Yours.” I readily agreed capturing his mouth for another searing kiss that made all the hairs on my arms stand on end. “Round two?”
His laughter echoed in my ears as he dragged me off tucking me into his shoulder with small kisses dotting my collarbone, cheeks, and closed eyelids. I didn’t point out that I’d been completely serious.
When I started awake, it took me a beat to capture a solid train of thought as morning light cut through the slightly parted blue curtains spilling patterns onto the hardwood floor. Then I heard it again. My phone was ringing in the pocket of my pants. A jolt of realization shoved my body forward on the bed before my legs could completely work leaving me sprawled on the floor in a heap looking up at the bed. Thank God, Liam had barely moved an inch at the noise.
With a large gulp, I tiptoed to find my workout pants. A look at my phone screen made me dig my fingernails into my leg to wake myself up and get processing a little faster. Memories of the night before kept taking over. They cluttered whatever brain space I had left after round three last night before we’d drifted off to sleep together and if I had my way Liam would stay that way. At least until I could get a grip on the situation.
11 Missed Calls
Excessive, but not unexpected given Carlos’s track record. A small, secretive smile curved my lips knowing that the ass couldn’t get a hold of me because I’d directly defied him. After last night, I would have to make a habit of it. I couldn’t allow myself to continue a relationship with Liam while my family plotted to do horrible things to him all over again. They were not getting away with putting another black mark on his life—not if I could help it.
Which left me with one option. A choice that left my immediate family vulnerable to excommunication from the larger group, and left my weakened father back in Spain where there wasn’t anyone there who specialized in his particular care. Everywhere I turned there were obstacles. Nothing was going to be easy. I knew that when I’d first met Liam at the diner and nothing had changed, at least nothing concrete. His “I love you” echoed between my ears with a small shiver of delight that nipped down my spine.
Until I could figure out a plan with him, after laying all the stakes out on the table, I’d have to play it cool with my brother. Make it seem as if everything was going according to plan and that I had my eye on a perfect score. He would be quick to be suspicious, but Jared would believe me. Nothing else mattered. As long as I could get Marco Rolando’s new right-hand man to play ball, we were in the clear.
I closed my eyes and hit redial while my fingers went numb gripping the phone. Of course, he flipped out. Names were called, bad things were said, and at the end, Jared snatched the phone away again. Smart man. There wasn’t a different way for that to go—but Jared listened to my plan and seemed to believe me.
Probably disinclined to make huge waves by kicking us all out right when he’d come to power. My family respected raw, unbridled power. They also respected our family and Jared wouldn’t rock the boat for nothing. That small bit of knowledge allowed me to hang up the phone with a large inhale knowing exactly what I needed to do with Liam and knowing I was free to do it. For now, we were safe. Jared wasn’t ready to pull the trigger unless I really screwed this up, and it was the last thing I intended to do today.
When I leaned against the bathroom doorway, he didn’t stir from underneath the sheets. I almost didn’t want to wake him. Almost. There were conversations that needed to be had and they were better done ripped off, like a Band-Aid. Luckily, I think I had something to offer him that would be a soothing balm.
I drew close to the bed crouching down close to his face as I kissed the tip of his nose, his forehead, the high plains of his cheekbones. Anything within reach got a light kiss. Until he made a masculine sound low in his chest, eyelids fluttering, and his lips pursed obviously ready to get cranky at anyone daring to wake him up. Well, weren’t things about ready to get worse.
“Mmm, are you okay? You’re…dressed…” Liam muttered barely picking his head up from the pillow.
I wouldn’t call stealing his bathrobe “dressed”. He pouted and I had the horrible thought that maybe being naked while I revealed everything would make the blow easier on us both. Selfish, but it might be true. Better yet, I might as well spring it on him before he had coffee, maybe his head would be fuzzy enough that he wouldn’t fully grasp the situation. A million different scenarios flitted through my mind.
I helped him sit up, smiling softly as he rubbed his eyes, brow furrowed with confusion. He looked so vulnerable with his hair sticking up at all angles. I crawled over him to the other side. It took every ounce of willpower for me to ignore his caress of my ass as I moved over him. That would be an easy way to wipe my mind clean, but it wouldn’t get rid of our problems.
“What’s going on, baby?” He leaned his weight on both elbows as the sheet slipped down tantalizingly close past his bare stomach. “Do you want me to order us some breakfast?”
“I think food can wait for a little bit.” I averted my eyes, unsure where or how to start this conversation. “I have something to tell you.”
Chapter 25 - Liam
Those were two words no man wanted to hear first thing in the morning. Especially after sharing the night of my life with a woman who loved me and had given herself to me to prove it. My first thought? What did I do to screw it up now? I’d been unconscious, so the possibilities were fairly slim but still existent and I scrolled through them as fast as my brain could function. Nothing stuck out.
“I’m sorry. You have to know that first, okay?”
I nodded mutely and didn’t bother asking for clarification. I’m sure an explanation was coming judging by Natalia’s anguished facial expression as she clutched my robe to her chest. Prickles of icy cold shot down my spine. I instinctively reached for the covers pulling them up as I sat up knowing there was going to be nothing casual about our conversation.
“My family found out we’ve been seeing each other, and they were less than thrilled about it. But I could have handled that with some simple deflection…” she seemed caught up in her head, wringing her hands in her lap.
When I reached out to brush her hair away from her face she flinched backward, and I pulled my hand away, unsure how to help the situation.
“Don’t touch me yet. You don’t know— “
“Then tell me. Just talk to me.”
“This isn’t something you just spit out!”
“What other way is there, Natalia? Do you want to plot out a PowerPoint with visual aids?” That comment made her lips twitch and I sat a little easier knowing whatever it was she needed to tell me, at least I could still get her to smile.
“Not only my parents found out that I saw you and there were consequences. They gave me an ultimatum, either use you as a source of income, or they would excommunicate my family from the larger group, which basically means we’d likely be dead. If we’re lucky we’d make it to Spain to hide out. Liam…you have to understand, I can’t go back there. I’d do anything not to live that lifestyle again. I’d rather die…”
“Use me how exactly?”
Tunnel vision. Nothing else really registered against the backdrop of the id
ea that she could be using me, could have been taking advantage of me from the day we reunited at the diner. A part of me argued that couldn’t be true. She wouldn’t say the things she had last night, wouldn’t have been so open with me—but to save her family? The words she would do “anything” had come out of her mouth and I believed them while she sat in front of me and blinked back tears.
“They wanted me to target you for a robbery to pay back the debts my family owes the group because of my father. We pay for his care, and we can’t afford to pay for his medical bills and cover our expenses every month. For more than a year they’ve cut us some slack, but when they found out I was with you…they couldn’t let it slide. They used me as an example. You’re my punishment.”
My brain scrambled to keep up with her explanation. All the words ran together until I had to separate them one at a time to make them digestible. A robbery. I was a mark for her band of thieves, after everything they’d already done to me. My temples buzzed with adrenaline as bone deep waves of fury twisted inside me. I’d known. Deep down I’d known anything associated with this woman was bad news and I’d ignored my gut. I’d pursued her to tamp down my lust. Two sides of my head went to war with each other, each arguing a different side, and one of them acknowledged her helplessness.
“I wasn’t going to go through with it. I haven’t given them anything, Liam. Every second I was trying to come up with an alternative plan, a way to trick them or divert them…something!” Natalia turned slightly on the bed, her hand hovering above my arm but unable to touch me. “There’s too much at stake both with the blackmail of excommunication from the top bosses, and exposing my father’s secrets by forcing us from the safety of our collective. We need to ensure they didn’t find out about my father’s weaknesses. They’ll give us hell from that point on. Our standing, everything he’s worked so hard for will be stripped away without a second thought. I can’t be responsible for unleashing that on my brothers—”
“How long has it been happening? Since the beginning?”
“No, since we met at the diner. I didn’t keep seeing you only to keep them happy, I swear, it had no impact on our relationship or anything that happened last night.”
Words spewed out of her mouth at the speed of light while I fought to catch up. Up close shots of what exactly did happen last night flicked through my brain. I couldn’t ignore it had been life changing. Good sex didn’t cancel out everything or any of this particular issue either. If anything, in the grand scheme of things it made her timing horribly, achingly off. I rubbed my chest as it squeezed tight with emotion and a low hum registered from my throat.
“How can you act like this is your fault?”
“What?” She blinked at me, narrowing her eyes as she hadn’t heard me right. “What are you talking about? How can you say that?”
“Because it’s a simple fact, and it’s true,” I kept my voice even and clear while the distrust stretched taut through the fibers beneath my skin. A million invisible ants biting me until I couldn’t see up from down or even tell the different. “There were obviously insinuating circumstances, multiple threats over your head, and you were trying to protect yourself and your family. I get that, it makes sense.”
“So you forgive me? You trust me?” Her eyes widened as her hand tried to link with mine, but I was quick to pull away. “That’s not what you’re saying?”
“What I’m saying is from a logical perspective, your lines of reasoning for your choices are crystal clear. That doesn’t make it right after the fact.” I cleared my throat and slid off the other edge of the bed wanting to be nowhere near her when I made my point. “You’ve been kind to me from the beginning and to think you’d stoop to their level without a good motive would be insane of me. That doesn’t change that you deceived me. It may not have started out that way…but here we are, right?”
I rifled through my drawers picking out whatever my fingers brushed, blindly throwing it on, knowing I didn’t want to continue this conversation with any more vulnerabilities at my disadvantage.
“W-wh-what do you mean? What are you saying, Liam?”
“I thought I was making myself clear. I apologize if that’s not the case.”
I cracked my neck, dreading in my gut that she was making me say it, blatantly saying the words that burned in my throat. Even as the anger inside me longed to lash out, I fought back. For all the times she’d been good to me, I wasn’t willing to repay her by verbally eviscerating her until she was helpless. It would be bad enough that there was no solution to her problem. I certainly wasn’t letting her family stage a break in of my home so her crazy crime-loving family could keep living a lifestyle that left her in messes like this one for the rest of her life.
No, that would be doing both of us a disservice.
“You need to leave, please. I don’t think either of us have anything else to discuss that could help the situation, and I have things that need to be done today. I understand your choice, thank you for telling me about it. That’s all that needs to be said between us other than I wish you luck with your family, I’m sure it’ll work out for the best.”
I didn’t—couldn’t—wait for her to speak again. Without looking up, I made my way toward my bedroom door knowing that at least my full schedule wasn’t a lie. There would be plenty of work to drown myself in until I could forget everything.
“You can’t do this, please, this isn’t how—”
She made the mistake of gripping my upper arm. I jerked back so hard I nearly stumbled falling backward as her face crumpled in on itself, her cheeks wet with tears while she held herself up by sheer force of will.
“Do not do that again. I will be a gentleman, Natalia, but I’m not a saint. My patience isn’t limitless, and it would be best for you if you took my advice and got the fuck out of my house before either of us say or do something that could jeopardize anything we already have on the table.” My voice was unrecognizable. It was a full-on growl tinged with a layer of sadness. From an oddly outside perspective, my stomach cramped from hearing it. “Although, from the plans you’re telling me, the deal is already off the table. Never mind, we knew this was coming, didn’t we? In case you were wondering that’s a rhetorical question.”
There wasn’t a chance for her to speak again. I passed through my bedroom door without her traitorous touch on my skin and was halfway down the hallway before I heard her sobs echo through the house. My fists clenched at my sides until my wrists cramped. I continued forward unable to see anything in front of me, only knowing that every step away from that bedroom was a healthy step away from my soul sucking past. One deep, steady breath after another and I was having regular conversations with my kitchen staff downstairs.
I’d come to Natalia for closure, after my attack. Clearly that goal had been achieved and then some. I knew exactly where I stood with her and her kin. There were no more secrets. For a blinding second, I considered whether ignorance would have been better and quickly shuffled that thought out of my head.
We couldn’t have continued the way we were together. It wasn’t logically possible, so this would have been the outcome in the end. At least it had come sooner rather than later, that was a blessing in disguise for both of us.
The rage inside me continued to charge forward, raking what felt like claws through my insides, deafening me with feral, fight-or-flight instincts. A threat of a complete break hovered with every breath. If I gave into my impulses, I couldn’t promise anyone would make it out. God knew I’d done enough giving in to my gut instincts over the past few days. And look where that had gotten me in the end.
Outside, I was in the driver’s seat. I’d mastered myself. Too bad it was far too late. I refused to throw away everything I’d worked for, everything I loved, and everything that was mine for someone who could only bring me pain. I could see her in my future, but if I kept up this crap, she’d have no part of it. I sure as fuck wasn’t going to have a hand in deluding her either. She deserved be
tter.
Chapter 26 - Natalia
“No, you can’t, I won’t let you! This is ridiculous, why can’t you see what you’re jeopardizing?” I heard my screeching tone, but had no way to stop the sounds from coming out of my mouth. I don’t even think I cared all that much. My voice was hoarse from crying and practically gone, plus it wasn’t as if Carlos or any of my brothers were paying any attention. “How do you think this is any way to keep the peace between the Kick3 guys and the pricks who attacked me? Answer me!”
They continued going back and forth from one corner of the armory to another without saying a word to each other or me. Why speak when their plan to rob Liam tonight was set in stone? My family had been thieving as a unit for long enough that my brothers didn’t need words. Their silence spoke volumes.
“You’re not coming with us, then?” Jared spoke up from just inside the doorway, and I turned to face his casual stance. “If you’re not with us, I’m afraid I can’t allow you to be here. You’ll put the entire plan at risk, as I’m sure you understand, right?”
My lips thinned and I allowed my facial expression to speak for itself. I was beyond caring.
“Carlos, you might want to step it up with her discipline. I doubt this is how your father raised her to act.”
His remark hit home. My brother shouted in my direction, eyes going dark with promised violence as he holstered a handgun and his lips pressed back from his perfectly white teeth.
“Do I need to remind you who started all of this in the first place, sister?” I flinched back at the hatred in his voice. Despite calling me family, the stress on the word ‘sister’ told me that he was ashamed to share blood with me. “If you value any of your freedom, you’ll shut the hell up before I rip every single privilege away from you so you can learn what it’s like to be a true and humble woman in our society. Your lesson is long past due when we’ve done nothing but spoil you.”
Two Cowboys Next Door Page 25